passports will be the death of me

That which does not kill you will make you stronger. So, either I am close to being the strongest person I know, or I am close to being killed.

Here is what we have learned about the passport situation. Apparently the passport office has changed their business hours. Without any notice, they decided to only be open a few hours a day. Not the same hours, different hours on different days; which is subject to change without notice.

Andrew (one of our coordinator guys) went to check on it again today. Thing is, if it IS in – he cannot get it. We have to pick it up in person. So if he gets to this office toward the end of the allotted time and calls us – we still might not get it that day.

We asked Alex (the guy in charge) if we can have the documents and check ourselves every day. We know Andrew doesn’t check every day (the line can be 100 people long; you stand in a line…and wait, and wait, and wait). We have nothing else to do BUT wait! Alex agreed that we are able bodied and sound minded enough to handle this task ourselves. We'll see where that goes.

As of 11:20pm on Wednesday, still no passport. This means no Easter Sunday at home. Now, the soonest we might be able to go to Moscow will be Sunday or Monday.

THE BANK ACCOUNTS - pt 2

Every orphan child in Russia has a bank account that is set up for them. Money is deposited for them throughout their life. The intention is that there will be a little money for them to start their lives when they leave the orphanage when they are 16 (or 17 or 18).

If a child is adopted, this money (typically) can be withdrawn for the child. Of course, in every region except Irkutsk. In Irkutsk, they do not allow this. I have no idea what happens to the money (it isn’t much, under $500). However, Anya was in Shelechov – therefore the “rules” of Irkutsk do not apply.

In order to get this money for Anya, we had to go to a lawyer today and sign something to force the bank to consider the withdrawn and closing of the account in an expedited manner.

Once that is done, it is UP TO THE BANK if they want to give her the money, and how much of it they want to give her. It might take up to 6 months for this to happen.

the Siberian Workout

the Siberian Workout - much has been said about it, few have seen it...

Not only do we do odd things when we get bored, like make silly videos, but if a crazy video idea is suggested to a certain someone in the family...chances are it will get made. Therein lies the story behind this ridiculous video showing my darling husband's daily workout routine.

4 weeks ago today...

I can’t believe it’s been 4 weeks. 4 weeks ago today, we walked into that horrible orphanage in Sholokhov for the last time, and opened a new door to the rest of our lives.

I can’t say it’s been exactly as I thought it would be – but then again, I didn’t know what it would be like. It’s hasn’t been easy; and it hasn’t been as hard as I thought it might be.

Today, Anya speaks almost entirely English. Even with her Russian teacher, she is using English words to communicate.

She knows the Alphabet, and can count to 100 (with help) in English.

She can be a picky eater. Might like beans the first time around, but not the second (this goes for any bean apparently; green, black – doesn’t matter).

She has gained a few pounds – we think about 5.

Anya has a lot of strength; both physically and with her Will.

She is learning how to be in a family, and what that means. For her, we think the hardest part has been what she knew of us before she came home. She knew us as people who would come and play with her, every ounce of attention was placed on her. We always came bearing gifts, candy, gum, water or juice. The reality of things is a little different, and it’s been an adjustment for her to understand that.

She is a good girl, well behaved and understands boundaries and rules. She doesn’t always remember the rules, but when reminded she exclaims “Oi!” and then complies.

Anya is a very loving little girl. Very affectionate. Definitely a Daddy’s girl.

We talk a lot about home in America. She watches movies showing pictures of home. We talk about the people at home, who her friends will be. We practice her name “ANYA FRIEND”.

She mimics the silliest things. Her latest word string is “okey dokey smokey”.

We certainly have been blessed with an amazing little one. Sometimes I wish I had a crystal ball so I could see what the future holds for her – but then again, I want her to stay just the way she is…at least for a little bit longer.

Pulse Morning Nugget

Pulse FM (christian radio station at home) has this great thing every day called the Pulse Morning Nugget. I love hearing / reading these when I am at home...today, I got this in an email from a friend who works at Pulse.

Very appropriate for us, now.


GOD IS NEVER LATE, SO LEARN TO WAIT.

ACTS 7:30
"After forty years had passed, an angel appeared to Moses in the flames of a burning bush in the desert near Mount Sinai. 31When he saw this, he was amazed at the sight.
34 I have indeed seen the oppression of my people in Egypt. I have heard their groaning and have come down to set them free. Now come, I will send you back to Egypt.'


40 YEARS IS A LONG TIME TO WAIT ON THE SIDELINES FOR A GREAT MISSION. BUT GOD IS NOT INACTIVE WHEN GOD DELAYS. THIS IS WHEN HE IS FINE-TUNING HIS INSTRUMENTS AND GROWING US IN OUR STRENGTH. THEN AT THE RIGHT TIME, WE ARE GOOD TO GO AND EQUAL TO THE TASK.

JOHN HENRY JOWETT SAID, EVEN JESUS HAD 30 YEARS OF PRIVACY, GROWING IN WISDOM BEFORE HE LAUNCHED INTO HIS MINISTRY.

GOD IS NEVER IN A HURRY. HE SPENDS YEARS PREPARING THOSE HE PLANS TO GREATLY USE. TODAY, WE MAY BE UNABLE TO SEE THE FINAL OUTCOME OF THE BEAUTIFUL PLAN THAT GOD HAS HIDDEN, (AS ISAIAH 49 SAYS) IN THE SHADOW OF HIS HAND. IT MIGHT BE CONCEALED FOR A LONG TIME, BUT WE CALMY WAIT BECAUSE THATS WHERE OUR FAITH COMES IN

FOCUS MORE ON THE LESSONS LEARNED ALONG THE WAY THAN ANXIOUS EYES TOWARDS THE END RESULT. THERE IS A REASON BEHIND EVERY SINGLE LESSON, AND WHEN WE ARE READY, THE REVEAL WILL COME. DONT STEAL TOMORROW FROM GODS HANDS, GIVE HIM TIME TO SPEAK TO YOU AND REVEAL HIS WILL.

God said, not right now...

Today there was just a bombing, a terrorist attack in Moscow. The attack was around the Kremlin on the subways during rush hour. At least 37 were killed, dozens more injured. The suspects are women.

Last week we prayed, you prayed. We wanted to be in Moscow today, on Monday. We wanted to leave this morning and arrive into Moscow around 8am. Our plans were to immediately start the medicals and deal with the paperwork at the Embassy.

We figured out a way to stay at the chosen Marriott, the one close to Red Square and the Kremlin.

God said, not right now. Admittedly, I kicked and screamed a bit. Didn't HE know how badly we need to get home? Doesn't HE understand the cost of staying here a second longer?

We didn't understand, didn't see the whole picture. Much of the past 6 years I haven't completely understood. Much of the wait is becoming clearer as to WHY; I'll never know all of the reasons - and I don't need to know the reasons.

No more will I ask 'why'.

Photos of Irkutsk

Marty has been taking photos of things since we got here, and I thought I would share some of those photo with you:

Enjoy! mfriendphotos.shutterfly.com/

you've been in Russia too long when...

You know you've been in Russia too long when:

• people at church ask if you've decided to move to Irkutsk
• your facebook status updates are about what is on Russian TV
• the girls at the Russian-Sephora recognize you when you walk in and say, "oh yes, English"
• the security guard at the grocery store stops following you around (if you aren't familiar, or are clearly a foreigner - the security guard will follow you around everywhere!)
• you seriously consider taking a bus to your friends house that is in a village...far far away
• people stop you on the street to ask for directions...and you could probably help them if they'd ask you in away that you would understand
• you begin to wonder how much extra cash you could make as a guest lecturer at the language University
• you begin to wonder how much extra cash you could make playing RIFF on your IPod on Walking Street
• you've seen -40 degrees....and +50 degrees
  

the passport saga continues

We finally got an update on things today. Apparently our passport was processed in Moscow on the 18th, and it takes 12-14 days after THAT date to get it back here.

(deep breath) That is NOT what the lady said when we submitted the paperwork for the passport on the 11th. On the 11th, she said that we could start checking on it in 12-14 days FROM THAT DATE, she even gave us the date of the 22nd. It's been 2 weeks and 1 day since we submitted the paperwork.

(here I go, asking for another prayer request) Please PLEASE pray that it comes in early next week!

5 of our weeks here have been spent waiting on paperwork - yes, 5 WEEKS! Our spirits are done, our patience is gone, our bank accounts are about empty, and our enthusiastic adventurous attitudes have taken a hike. We need to get home.

Boo...

Boo Hoo. The thrill is over. For several days in a row, Anya was sweeping out the entry hallway, into the bathroom and Kitchen. It was awesome! The floors here are nasty, filthy...just gross. I am not one to be comfortable in filth, so her "helping" in this way, without being asked, really made my heart sing.

Well, we quickly caught on that she was sweeping, and then asking for something, generally gum. When she realized that just because she helped out with a chore, she was not going to get gum...she stopped doing that chore (that we never asked her to do).

Huge bummer.

Master Chef - Kathy Friend

OK, maybe not. But I will say that the past few days have been huge hits (meal wise) with my family.

I guess this is what happens when you have nothing to do all day but sit and wonder what you are going to have for dinner - and then decide that if you have anything stew-ish one more time, you may scream.

Last night, I made:

• Oven baked chicken in a little oil (for flavor, and to give it a sorta fried taste)
• Baked Potato with diced fresh tomato, grated cheese, butter, and a little salsa on top
• Garlic marinated mushrooms

Anya wasn't sure, but had one bite, looked at me with raised eyebrows and said "yum yum Mommy!"

Tonight I got adventurous. Since we learned Anya likes Salsa, I thought tonight's meal is going to be pseudo Mexican fiesta. We spent most of the ay being lazy, and then went for a walk through a few grocery stores looking for nachos. I have only found them one time in a grocery here...no luck this time.

But we went ahead with it anyway. We had:

• Ground beef
• rice
• black beans - in the beans, I added some taco seasoning (no, that isn't from here either), salsa (from Tami), and salt
• I then found some uber expensive cheddar cheese and grated a little of that and mixed in some on the Bntr3b cheese (that is how I remember it and find it at the store)
• At the table, we mixed it all together with some fresh tomato and more salsa

YUMO! Almost as good as at home, even without the nachos! And something amazing happened. It was a miracle. I think Anya actually ate until she was full - I don't think we've EVER seen her STOP eating! Yep -it was a big day!

____________________________________________
ON PASSPORT NEWS

From what we know about Russian business culture, no news is NO NEWS. It is still hard for me to get why there is:

1. No way to rush ship a passport in this country
   
2. No way to get any idea how long it will be until the passport comes in
3. No way to check on it, other than to stand in a line, 100 people long every day to see if yours came in

I am getting really worried about this. I have a big project the end of April - I need to be home, well rested and over jet lag by the 8th. Since I haven't been working for 3 months, we can not afford for anything to happen to this project (income). I hate to even consider that I might have to leave before Anya's passport comes (insert sick feeling in my stomach here).

...on my knees, again.

Prayers from kids

Tonight we went for a walk. The weather was really nice, and the sun was out. Marty has been wanting to get some sunset photos of various things along the river, so we headed out.

On the way back to the apartment - Marty went ahead to get some pics of the theater, while Anya and I walked behind. We were talking, and Anya was asking me questions about America. You know, important things like if there is cake there, and ice cream, juice, milk. She informed me that she has a lot of friends in America (which she does!).

We also talked about going on the airplane. She is fascinated with all things somolyout (airplane, and no - I didn't type that phonetically right). Some of the goodies that were in our care package today I told her were for the airplane (suckers, gum, candy).

This got into a discussion about when we were getting on the airplane, ya know, to get the candy, gum and suckers...which led into "first, we must get Anya's passport, then we fly to Moscow". Right there, in the middle of Karl Marx street, she stops - dead in her tracks and said"

"Father bog (Russian for God), pazaloosta please help passport Anya dazaftra (tomorrow). Mommy y Daddy y Anya Moscow y America. Thank you, you velcome (supposed to be welcome) Amen"

I don't know if the energy was simply for her to get candy or something greater. One thing I am sure of, God heard this prayer!

care package will make my day!

Before I launch into this post, NO, you can't have my friends! They're MINE!

Yesterday, Tami and Steve came to see us. Steve is headed out of town, and won't be back until after we're gone (well, we'd BETTER be gone when he returns to Irkutsk!). They brought a package with them that was delivered to their home for us. It was from Debbie, Brian, JJ and Nathan.

Oh my - did this gift come at the right time! I was right in the middle of getting a bad attitude abut still being here without any hope on the horizon of leaving. This care page was what I needed. It was filled with so many goodies - lots of books for Anya, candy, magazines for me - Marty, nail polish and remover, Jello, Air Heads and Starburst (2 of my all time favorite candies - sorry Anya, those are for Mommy!).

I think the best part of this was being able to go on Facebook, and show Anya JJ and Nathan's photos. I told her that the gift from from her friends JJ and Nathan. She asked "in America"? I said "of course!". We looked through all the photos Debbie has on her facebook page of the boys, and Anya's face went from quizzical to all smiles to a look of 'ya, those boys are MY friends'.

On top of that, knowing that someone back home is thinking about you, loves you enough to do something as thoughtful as this...well, it's a big deal and we are truly blessed (time and time again) by the Ninmanns.

LOVE YOU GUYS! Can't wait til we get home!

Here are some pics of the goods:

makeup and pushups

I thought you might want some photos.

Anya has been fascinated with me putting on my makeup - she watches me intently. Hasn't really asked to use anything, although I jokingly will dust her face with a blush brush. The other day, she started going through my makeup bag. The makeup I use is pretty expensive, not exactly the kind you want your 7 year old to play with. I had thought about this a LONG time ago, and have been saving the last little bit of lipsticks and eyeshadow for years. But all that saved stuff is at home, and I am here - 10,000 miles away.

About the same time all this makeup fascination happens, Anya begins to decide that she is going to pout every morning when I lay out what she is to wear that day. The pouting is getting old, so I was also trying to think of a way to avoid this attitude-fest in the mornings.

Then a few days ago, I went shopping by myself (more on that later). I took about an hour and 1/2 and just walked and walked. It was great. Went to the Brand Store mall. There is a Russian Sephora in that mall. While I was eyballing some red toenail polish, I saw it...eyeshadow and lip gloss in the most beautiful pale pink colors...colors that really don't even show up on your skin. SOLD!

Now, in the morning, Anya knows she has to get dressed before she can put on her makeup for the day. Awesome! She is choosing to not pout and get an attitude, but to quickly put on her clothes so that she can put on her makeup. Here are some photos from today:






Like most kids, Anya doesn't like it when Mommy and Daddy are doing anything that isn't paying 100% attention to her. In order to let Daddy get some exercise, we decided that Anya can do some sit ups too! Scary thing, I think she can do more push-ups than Daddy!

are Americans querky?

We've spent some time on this blog talking about the things in Russia that we (as Americans) think is a little crazy. Things I haven't mentioned yet include:

• the Murse, or man purse. They're everywhere, and it seems that no self respecting Russian man would leave home without his Murse. Yes Ladies, it really LOOKS like a handbag.
• I will say that things here have changed A LOT over the past 2 years. Irkutsk simply isn't he same city it was when we first came here 6 years ago. All of the scary playground equipment (that OSHA would have a field day condemning) has been replaced with brightly colored, safe looking equipment. It seems, however, every playground in every apartment courtyard and public square got the same equipment...exactly the same pieces are ALL over town.
• More and more places take credit cards. At home, we never carry cash, and always use our debit card. Here in Russia, we are grateful that we are able to use our card, however just when we start counting on that - we'll go to the grocery store, and for some reason - on that particular day - they aren't taking credit cards. No explanation, no long string of Russian that we can't understand...just NIET!

So, my Russian friends - tell me what about America and Americans do you think is querky? What do we do that makes you scratch your head and wonder "what in the world?"

And to my American friends living in Russia - what has been the thing that your friends and neighbors here in Russia think is odd about you? Matching the decor in your home? Wearing a different outfit every day?

Would love to hear your experiences with cultural differences!

prayers needed

Hello friends,

I hate to burden you with a prayer request, but I think we need it.

We think Anya is coming down with something. There is a crud that is going around town, and several members of the Jackson family have been sick in the past week. Whatever this is, it starts as a sore throat, and then goes into a bronchial thing.

Tonight in the bath, Anya said she had a sore throat. After a minor panic, we call Tami (who happens to be a nurse, thank God!). She talked to Anya and apparently she has the sore throat and is achy all over. NOT GOOD!

We are REALLY praying that the last installment of this part of the story isn't "well, then we all got really sick".

We appreciate your prayers, and wish you all God's best!

more questions answered part 6

WHAT IS A TYPICAL DAY LIKE FOR YOU THERE?

Typically, we start waking up at about 7-7:30. Anya will get up, go and get a book, or flash cards, and we stay in bed until about 8-8:30 with her reading or going over flash cards. Recently the flash cards are math ones.

Get up, have breakfast: oatmeal, cereal, toast and eggs. Pretty normal stuff

We check email, deal with work issues while Anya colors or watches a cartoon (was Winnie Pooh, but we've moved on to Tom and Jerry)

Then it's chore time: do the morning dishes, throw in a load of laundry, sweep the floors (Anya's favorite shore), make the beds.

Then I get ready for the day, and get Anya dressed.

Finish chores and start lunch.

Lunch has been everything from hot dogs and mashed potatoes to soup. Sometimes peanut butter and jelly.

After lunch, we go walking. Usually for at least 2 hours. Depending on the weather and they day, it may be longer. Sometimes we go out for lunch, but not very often.

Late afternoon, we get back to the apartment. Anya will work on alphabet sometimes, other times we play a few games of Uno.

Then it's time to start dinner. We try to eat dinner at about 6:30 or 7. Generally we'll have something like beef or chicken stew, or hamburgers with fries. Depending on my mood and what is in the fridge, we've been known to have soup or hot dogs for dinner too.

After dinner, Anya will watch some cartoons while we clean up the dinner dishes. We were having her help us, but the kitchen is so small, that wasn't working AT ALL.

Then we deal with any remaining laundry that needs to be dealt with. Anya helps.

Then bath time - and bed time. We try to do bath at 8:00, and bed at 9:00. I know bedtime seems late, but if we put her to bed any earlier, she is up at 6:30. The days are long enough, we certainly don't want to get up any earlier to prolong them!

Then we do more internet junk, sometimes if we're feeling especially adventurous, we'll eat a cookie or two (haha!). Then we watch an episode of Eureka. It is a series on the SiFi channel, something we both like, so we purchased 3 seasons to watch while we are here. We only have one episode left - which means it is time to come home!

So, there ya go!

image from: http://behance.vo.llnwd.net

you should really try this

Just got this note from my Mom's friend, Diane:

Please tell all your readers on your Blog, to PLEASE, PLEASE MAKE THIS. I made this Sunday morning, and it made a good size pancake which I completely devoured between 8 am and 2 pm, and was tempted to make another. I did make Cinamon Sugar (to taste) and sprinkled it on the pancake right when it came out of the oven. It was YUMMY, WONDERFUL, DELICIOUS. Thanks for the recipe.

My work here is done...

She Speaks

Oh my gosh, Lysa TerKeurst just replied to something I put on Facebook - my day is off to a GREAT start!

I've talked about Lysa TerKeurst many times over the past year and 1/2 or so. I even blogged about her HERE and HERE

The reason for this post is really pretty selfish. There is this scholarship contest to go to the She Speaks Conference - an event Lysa TerKeurst's ministry (P31) produces. Part of the entry process is to post something on your blog about the contest.

Going to this conference is one of those "pie in the sky" things I've always wanted to do.

Why would I want to go to this conference?

Truth is, I believe God has gifted me in some pretty unique ways. I also believe everything in my life has happened for a purpose. The adoption drama, the story of Faith in the face of nothingness. Losing friends, dashed hopes and dreams, hurtful and wrong assumptions made about me and my family..and the bottom line, embracing God's calling on my life.

I would like to further embrace God's calling on my life; but I'm not sure what the next right step is. I've done a lot of writing over the years (here and in real magazines), done a lot of speaking. I would love to further explore both, and just see what comes of it. If it is God's plan...it'll happen!

That is why I have entered to win one of these scholarships. We need to prayerfully consider what God' plan is not only for our family, but for our careers. This might be the next right step.

Thanks for indulging me...and now, back to our regularly scheduled updates.

what to do on a Monday

If you don't know us very well, I should tell you that boredom and creative inspiration come hand in hand many times in our house.

Today, one of us had to stay at the apartment all day so that we wouldn't miss the call (that never came...by the way).

I went shopping, and Marty and Anya stayed back at the flat. When I got home, I was asked to appear in a few cameo shots for a video. I wasn't sure what it was all about...but have learned not to ask.

If you've ever stayed in this apartment, you will enjoy this.

Anya sillies..

Anya has learned the word 'hey'.

The other day, EVERYTHING was "HEY! ..." Her favorite use of the word is the following:

HEY! I love you! Kak dilya! (how are you)?

Tonight, we're finishing dinner, and Anya comes and sits on my lap (a little unusual), she sayd "I love you mommy", and is all kissy. It goes on from there with thank you mommy, yummy dinner. Then the other shoe falls, she reaches for the french fries on my plate that I haven't eaten...next thing I know, they're gone and I sti...ll have the little one on my lap - but now she is saying "ut, oh!" (giggle giggle)

The Story about The Place Across The Street

When we got to this apartment in Irkutsk, Russia, a month ago, we wondered what the place was across the street. At the time there were no signs. All we could see were people (wealthy people) coming and going. At night, we could see beautiful chandeliers and what looked to be ornate high back chairs.

I will admit, we made up a pretty good tale about what was going on across the street.

I finally broke down and asked. Apparently this is a new fancy restaurant. This restaurant’s tale reminds me of our adoption process…took over 5 years to complete. The progress was halted because of government intervention. After making numerous changes to the original plan, the restaurant was granted the petition to open.

The story behind the story is that a very famous Russian playwright lives above this restaurant; well, he owns an apartment there. He now lives in Moscow. This playwright, Valentin Grigoriyevich Rasputin, is so famous that his plays are studies in Russian schools.
Anyway, when Rasputin got wind that there was a restaurant going in below his apartment in Irkutsk, he wasn’t happy. He called his very good friend, former president Putin, and halted the project.

Well, after many years – the restaurant opened…about the same time we came to town.

We haven’t been there – apparently it is a European type restaurant (that is called Cafe Soho??). We’ve heard it is very nice, rather pricey – but a nice place to go. Something tells me this is going to be the new “after court” restaurant venue.

quick note

We're waiting to hear if Anya's passport came in today. Currently it is 1:45pm, Irkutsk time.

Praying we hear something soon. Our 6 weeks here is weighing on everyone.

And, thank you for all of your kinds words about the food posts. Getting in touch with my inner Betty Crocker would make my friend, Amy Clark so proud! I have another recipe to add later today for a cake that I made from scratch...yes, nothing from a box!

Wishing you all a blessed night!

attachment parenting

You've probably heard the term "attachment parenting", especially if you've ever adopted or know anyone who has adopted.

How you parent a child who had no parents during formative years is a big deal. I've read more books, visited more websites, and gotten more advice than I care to admit on the subject. Funny thing is, when we're in the heat of parenting everything we've read and knew intellectually seems to become a cloud.

This website I have found to be helpful in some general ways: http://www.attachmentparenting.org/

Attachment parenting means different things to different people, and more importantly, I think it means different things with different kids. But, what is it? I had a hard time defining it in a way that made any sense, so I did what any wise blogger would do - I Googled it. I found some info on Wikipedia. It said this:

Attachment parenting, a phrase coined by pediatrician William Sears,^[1] is a parenting philosophy based on the principles of the attachment theory in developmental psychology. According to attachment theory, the child forms a strong emotional bond with caregivers during childhood with lifelong consequences. Sensitive and emotionally available parenting helps the child to form a secure attachment style which fosters a child's socio-emotional development and well being. Less sensitive and emotionally available parenting or neglect of the child's needs may result in insecure forms of attachment style, which is a risk factor for many mental health problems. In extreme and rare conditions the child may not form an attachment at all and may suffer from reactive attachment disorder as defined in DSM-IV and ICD-10. Principles of attachment parenting aim to increase development of child's secure attachment and decrease insecure attachment.

We think that it is important to Anya to bond closely with us. Because of her history of being abandoned before she was a year old, she has learned ways to cope; ways to comfort herself. These things that would normally come from a parent.

There are some things about attachment parenting I thought to be very interesting. Things like:

• Skin on Skin contact. Interestingly enough, Anya craves this. She is forever wanting a back/tummy/leg/arm/face/neck tickle...of course all skin on skin. She also likes to lay on Marty's belly - skin on skin.
• Meeting her needs. We do think it is important that we are the only ones meeting all of her needs, at least for a period of time (what that period is, I don't know yet). We should be the only ones to feed her, bathe her, dress her, kiss her boo-boos, comfort her when she doesn't feel well, the only ones to discipline her or correct her and so on. Have also read a lot about not allowing Anya to be without one of us during early days (as defined as....I don't know).
  
• Not Allowing Alone Crying. I was on the phone with a friend about a week ago, and she said something to me that has stuck out in my mind, day after day. She said "when our kiddos are having a melt down, THAT is when they need Mommy and Daddy the most." SO TRUE! Although our instinct is to let Anya cry it out (especially after a long period of time), we can't do that. We have to be right there with her, reassuring her that even tho she wasn't behaving nicely, we're not going to leave her. We love her, and will stay with her no matter what.
  

I'd love to hear your thoughts on attachment parenting...what are your experiences? What do you think about 'things' in the early days? What about other people in the early days? Thoughts on school, and from an attachment parenting perspective, when should a child be sent to school?

very sweet

The other day when Anya was in her English lesson, and asked Anne if she was coming to America with us. Anne (of course) said, no. Anya then exclaimed "but who will I play with!?" She already knows that Melissa, Ashley and Andrew aren't coming to America with us either.

I have been thinking about this exchange for a few days. What a great example of Daddy Knows Best. As Christians, don't we always ask our heavenly Father for things that seem to be in our best interest at the time? I know I do. From Anya's perspective, none of her friends will be in America. As her Father knows - there are dozens of kiddos waiting to be her friend there - so many friends, she won't know what to do with them all. Anya needs to trust her Father - as we need to trust ours.

Trusting that HE has our best interest at heart, and that HIS plan is ALWAYS better than ours can be a hard lesson (take it from one who knows).

¹¹ For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. (Jer 29)

food - beef stew

BEEF STEW
There are no veggie broth type things here in Russia, so I improvised. At home I make this in the crock pot with veggie broth. I let it sit in the crock pot all day (about 5-6 hours at least).

3 onion bullion cubes
3 tomato bullion cubes (they might be red pepper, kinda hard to tell)

About 4-5 carrots
½ cup celery (optional as this is very hard to find and pretty expensive in Russia)
4-5 potatoes
1 cup green beans, could also add in some mushrooms
About 4 cups of water
Salt and pepper to taste
Also add in the following to taste: basil, oregano, garlic
Cubed beef

Put into large pot on oven set to about med-med-hi. Let come to a boil, and reduce heat to low and simmer for about an hour.

I cook the meat in the oven and add it in later (since I am a vegetarian)…this is always a family favorite! And if REALLY good the next day.

Food - mac-n-cheese

Tami’s Mother-In-Laws Mac-n-Cheese
YUMO!

1 ½ cup macaroni
Boil macaroni until done

3 tbl spoons of flour
2 cups milk
½ tsp salt
Pepper to taste
2 cups shredded cheese

Mix together

Bake at 350-400 for 35-40 minutes until the top is golden brown. You can also put on broil for 10 minutes.

more questions answered part 6

Does she call you "Mommy"?

This was such a good question, I am pushing it ahead of the other questions in line.

The answer - yes. She started calling me Mommy or Mamaichika last year. She does call me Mama too.

food - lentil soup (VERY good!)

Lentil Soup

I never thought I would like Lentil Soup, but this is really REALLY good. Marty loves it, and asks me to make it ALL the time. This recipe came from Tami!

NOTE: this makes A LOT of soup – way too much for a family of 3 or 4. But, it keeps very well, and is good the 2nd, 3rd and even 4th day.

I’ve altered the original recipe to show how we make it.

1lb ground beef
Garlic to taste
5-6 carrots
1 bag dried lentils (about a 1lb bag)
1 can diced tomatoes
4 beef bouillon cubes, or 8 small ones (I used 4 onion and 4 red pepper cubes)
12 cups water
2 bay leaves
3 tsp basil
1 ½ tsp salt
1 tsp pepper
2 tsp parsley

Rinse lentils
Brown ground beef (I made the beef after the soup was done, and added it at the last minute, was fine that way – also very VERY good without meat)

Add all ingredients in a large soup pot, bring to boil.

Simmer on low for about an hour and ½ or so.

Food - my favorite, potato pancakes

Potato Pancakes

4 potatoes
1 onion
1 egg
1 tsp salt
3 tbl spns flour
Pepper to taste
Oil (for pan)

OPTIONAL
Mushrooms
Cheese

Grate potatoes
Mix in egg salt, pepper and flour
Add onion and other ingredients

Mix together until all liquid is absorbed. You may need to add more flour (we added a LOT more)

Drop balls of mixture into oiled pan with a spoon (at about med to med-hi). Flip until golden brown on both sides.

HINT
If you have a lot of these to make, you will want to put the done ones in the oven to keep them warm. Also, if your pancakes are thick, put them in the oven for about 15-20 minutes to be sure they are cooked all the way through.

more questions answered part 6

Does she call you Mommy?

This was such a good question, I am pushing it ahead of the other questions in line.

The answer - yes. She started calling me Mommy or Mamaichika last year. She does call me Mama too. It does depend on the situation. Generally, I am still Mama - unless she is telling me she loves me, then it is Mommy. Tonight in the bath, she was trying to get me to agree that she could have popcorn, and I actually got a 'Mom'. Where that came from, I don't know! It was probably a 1/2 baked Mama.

found: the source of scary things

I have really been wondering about what scared Anya last night. Really hoping she wasn't getting night terrors. That would be horrible!

Tonight I was sitting here on my laptop, and I hear Marty snoring - and I mean SNORING! I go into the bedroom to shake him to get him to stop.

I should mention that we put Anya's bed in our room. Reasons for this are varied, but the main one being that there is a door in the kids room that goes out to a bar-type place. The door is locked and looks to be sorta closed off - and there is a rug hanging on the wall over the door, but still I wasn't comfortable with that at all. At night, the smoke smell that comes from there is HORRIBLE!

OK, back to the story.

I go in to shake dear husband, as I am shaking him - Anya jumps out of bed and comes running over "Mommy!" She is scared again. It was the snoring - which I can agree does sound like a mean monster growling.

Bring on the anti snoring device!

what is school like?

I was reading my friend's blog this morning. She is an ex-pat, living in Russia as a teacher at an American school.

She recently adopted a wee-one about Anya's same age. We've had a good time sharing stores about first-time motherhood at 40. She is one of those people I am sure I would shoe shop with if she lived closer.

Today, she posted an interesting note about the schools in Russia. Take a minute and read this - I would love to hear your thoughts.

http://from-russia.blogspot.com/2010/03/russian-school.html

on being scared

Last night as I was washing my face, Anya came running into the bathroom with a scared look on her face. She was saying "mommy mommy!".

I picked her up, and she grabbed me so hard I knew something was wrong.

I asked her if she was scared...she said yes.

After a few minutes of comforting her, I put her back into bed, and she went right to sleep.

I don't know what scared her. Might have been a dream, a noise outside or maybe Marty's snoring (he was already in bed).

Why am I posting a seemingly insignificant event? Because she ran to me for comfort. She was crying out to Mommy when she was scared. For me, that was a big deal.

more questions answered part 5 - food (Marty's contribution)

Since we're talking food, Marty's contribution is as follows:

Kathy - caught at Subway in Irkutsk - with a mouth full of food. Anya says, "I like the BMT!"
Yep - bacon flavored chips. You really haven't lived until you've had bacon flavored chips.

more questions answered part 5 - food

CAN YOU SHARE RECIPES?

This is pretty funny, someone asking ME for a recipe?! I will admit, that since we’ve been in Irkutsk I’ve had to get in touch with my inner Betty Crocker. Putting away the 4” stilettos and donning an apron isn’t really my thing…but hard times call for tough women!

I thought I would spread out my new favorite recipes…for the first one – this is a recipe for ‘DEBBIE’S OVEN PANCAKES’

Preheat oven – the goal is about 350 – for the ovens in Russia, I put it on a little more than 4 (and with the nifty oven thermometer Tami let me borrow, that is about 350 - depending on the day)
2-3T butter melted

Mix together:
2-3 eggs
¼ L (or 1 cup) milk
1/10L (or ¾ cup) flour
1T sugar

Mix it all together. Pour batter into a pan (with the melted butter). Bake for about 20 minutes, until it is brown and all curled up.

Kathy’s Twist
Right before it gets done, sprinkle sugar all over the top (could even be cinnamon sugar) – bake just past brown on the top. Makes it crispy, kinda like an elephant ear. YUM!

________________
I wish I had a photo of this - I will try to make it again before we leave, and take a pic. I will say that this was a big hit with Anya and Marty!

We did this with 2 eggs - with 2 eggs, it turned out more souffle ish (and I am pretty sure that is spelled right...), and I am not a big fan of egg so I might back off to 1 egg just to see how that works.

If you have a great recipe that is easy, uses natural easy ingredients (i.e. things you can find in Russia - in other words, no Bisquick, vanilla, maple syrup, or anything else fancy) - let me know and I'll post it here!

more questions answered part 4

Since the answer to this question is long...I thought I'd only bore you with one Q&A this round.


START TO FINSH, CAN YOU OFFER A TIMELINE?
Hummmm – I’ll try, this is all from memory (deep breath)

July 2004 Homestudy, contracted with agency
July 2004 referral
September 2004 received travel dates
October 2004 Trip 1 to Russia to meet Anya

March 2005 visit Anya
July 2005 the world stopped when Nina Hilt was killed

May 2006 trip to visit Anya, and figure out another way to bring her home
June 2006 – December 2006 our documents were submitted to the Judge in Irkutsk 2 times, and we received 2 legal statements (if I remember, they were like 30-40 pages long). During this time, we also obtained updates on our homestudy.

August 2007 trip to visit Anya
August 2007 – December 2007 resubmitted documents to the court in Irkutsk. Judge refused to accept (or even look at) our documents…more updates on our homestudy.

January 2008 we begin to consider taking our case to the Supreme Court. After much talk and prayer, we determined we didn’t have a strong enough case against the regional Judge ye t. We needed more in writing (most of her comments / refusals up to this point were verbal). Spoke with our social worker, she created an update for our homestudy in order to keep it active. Also applied for an extension to our I600a INS approval.
December 2008 another visit with Anya, and a firm game plan is established to submit our documents to the court

January 2009 round 1 of our completed documents are submitted to the court – a new Homestudy was completed (from scratch…yep, scratch is EXPENSIVE!)
February 2009 legal statement given, with changes / revisions requested – a new I600a approval is given from the INS
March 2009 updated documents sent and resubmitted to court
May 2009 another legal statement
June 2009 more updates sent to Russia
August 2009 another legal statement
September 2009 more updates
October 2009 another legal statement (this one MUCH more promising)
November 2009 more updates, and a meeting was called from the Judge. Judge said that she wants to give us a court date, there were a few minor technical things that needed to be dealt with in our documents…with that, she would give a court date
December 2009 – updated documents sent

January 15, 2010 a court date was given
February 7, 2010 we leave South Bend…
February 9, 2010 we arrive in Irkutsk
February 16, 2010 day 1 in court
February 17, 2010 day 2 in court – adoption is granted
February 19, 2010 the final decree is filed with the court in Irkutsk
March 2, 2010 we are able to take custody of Anya
March 9, 2010 Adoption certificate available – we go and get it
March 10, 2010 Apply for new birth certificate, and have Anya’s passport photo taken
March 11, 2010 Apply for passport

moola and such

Well, Alex came over this after noon and got a wad-o-money from us. Hopefully, this is a good sign. Maybe he knows that the passport is coming, and that we'll be leaving soon. Generally when we've come to Russia before, he visits on the next to the last day to collect money. Him coming this soon is kind of unusual. Unless he had a mortgage payment (or 10) due...or maybe he is buying a new car and needed a down payment...

sad - the things I don't know

It’s sad, really. There is so much about Anya I don’t know. I don’t know how she got the little scar by her eye or how she got the little scar under her arm (or if it is even a scar).

We learned that she has never had a bath. At the orphanage, the children showered – a few at a time (assuming 3-4 girls at a time), and from what I understand, they were only “allowed” to do that once a week (ONCE A WEEK!?). Generally, they would wash in a sink, with no soap. I can only imagine how filthy the wash rag was.

Anya told Anne (the English teacher) that she was very excited that she gets to wash every night, and made sure to tell Anne, that Mommy and Daddy wash every morning.

what we've been up to

The other day, we decided to walk up Lenin Street and found this cafe. We HAD to get a picture with it!



This was one of those days when everyone at home was oooing and ahhhhing about how nice the Spring weather was. It was about 4below zero (Fahrenheit) here - and as you can see, it was snowing.

We've started a count down calendar of sorts. It is more a bunch of pictures that we drew and colored, and hung on the wall. I did take the inside cardboard from a TP roll and a roll of paper towels, cut it apart and color the pieces. Then, we taped those pieces together - one for each remaining day (I think) we'll be here. We have a ring count down until we go to Moscow, and then a few more until we fly home. Here are some pics of it (there are rings below the 'Moscow' picture too)
In going through this drawing exercise, we learned that Anya is a very good artist. Here she is, deep in thought, creating a masterpiece:
And a close up of what she is drawing (it is of 2 cats on a couch)

survived the day

Today, we decided we'd go to the Chinese Market. We needed some excitement, adventure - and a pair of gloves.

The Chinese Market has a long history of thieves. Every time we've been in Irkutsk, and we've driven by or even mentioned the market - the 'local' that is with us tells us stories of Americans who have been robbed there.

We've been a few times in the past, and have never been robbed - so we thought we'd give it a try today. We had a plan, we weren't carrying any valuables, we were on a glove seeking mission!

We get there, walk into the first stand, and inquire about a pair of gloves. We get about 3 stands down, and I am pretty sure some kind of signal went out to the entire market that there were Americans in the building.

We end up at this booth near the back, and the Chinese woman tending it said something about 'American' (Marty knows a little Chinese, so he quickly recognized the word).

The end of the story? We got 2 pairs of gloves (one for Marty, and one for Anya) and headed back to the walking street. No harm, no foul, no robberies - just some yadda-yadda about the 'Americans'. Kinda funny. I bet they were disappointed we didn't spend a lot of money. Only about $25.

...and that was our day.

our little rock star

...and if you haven't seen this yet - get comfortable, and be prepared to giggle uncontrollably.

more questions answered part 3

What toys & activities have been real winners?
So far, she loves anything with a ball. Just a ball to play catch with, or a ball and hand racket kind of thing she loves.

Also really likes games – like Candy Land, Uno.

She is loving Winnie Pooh DVDs (the weird Russian version, and the normal red-shirt wearing Pooh version) – which is a great “quiet down” thing. We made the mistake (not sure if it is a mistake or not…) of letting her play with Marty’s IPod Touch. That is a favorite too. All the games she likes, and really enjoys listening to music. How she can find the songs on there she likes is beyond me! He has HUNDREDS of albums on his IPod, but she somehow finds Hillsong and an old REM song every time!

What do you wish you'd brought?
The things I wish I would have brought with me are more for my comfort than anything else. More body lotion, a tunic (I live in tunics and leggings / jeans at home), another skirt, a purse (just brought a big tote and a little LITTLE purse). I wish I would have brought more hair things for Anya. I thought I had more, but the night before we were leaving and I was doing last minute packing, I realized I didn’t have as many as I thought. Need more bows!

There are things I am very glad I brought with me…Aveda Night Nutrients – wouldn’t leave home with out it! Especially in this weather (skin saver!). Also glad I brought bath gel and lotion for Anya. She loves that part of the nightly routine.


What fun toys/activities have you obtained in Irkutsk?
We haven’t purchased anything here. The toys are SO expensive! I take that back…we’ve purchased some coloring books. Anya likes coloring too (and so do I!). We’ve been blessed and been able to borrow some things to pay with from the Jackson’s. I (mistakenly) thought that there would be some things in the apartment to play with – but there isn’t anything here.


What Russian vocab have you found very helpful and use all the time?
It is amazing what comes back to you when you are here. At home, I have trouble coming up with Russian things to say – but here, I can communicate OK with Anya and anyone in a store or café. The most important thing I say is “I don’t understand in Russian, do you speak English?”. With my limited understanding of Russian and sign language – we get around OK. The only challenge is at the grocery store – again, thank God for the Jackson’s!

When we first started this journey, we purchased a Russian Language CD for adoption. It has proven VERY helpful, and offers enough basics to get around – and words that you can use to build on.

new fun things

Been trying to think of things that might be new and different since we've been in Russia - of course, in addition to Anya.

• Talking and sometimes screaming in your sleep. Yes, Anya does this. Saying perfectly coherent words (of course, that we generally don't know what they mean)
• I like oatmeal. Who would have thought it? But I really do!
• Referring to ourselves in the third person. This was kind of by mistake. We were trying to get Anya to call us 'Mommy' or 'Daddy'...so I would say "give it to Mommy". Well, now Anya is doing that too - saying things like "Anya toilet". We're trying to teach her 'me', 'I', and 'you'.
• Pickles with dinner. All the time - because we're in Russia, therefore we must have dill pickles.
• Surviving on 4-5 hours of sleep a night. I am a sleeper. I could probably get by with 6 hours a night, if they were good, restful hours of sleep. Because of the screaming in the sleep, the traffic on the road we're on (we are in a 1st floor apartment, bedroom windows on the street side), and the 3am removal of snow from the streets (insert sounds of massive machinery and scraping of streets and sidewalks)...we're not really sleeping at all.
  
• Walking. I SO WISH we could walk for a few hours every day at home.
  
• Going to church where you don't understand anything that is being preached...and not caring...just being happy to be with other Christians.
• I color about every day. Not because there is nothing else to do, but because it is kind of a stress reliever for me.
• Using a bathroom without a functional door. Oh, the joy! The door here in the bathroom doesn't really latch, and because it doesn't latch, it doesn't close. This has created some real 'oi!' moments over the past week and 1/2!

And, of course, Anya's favorite meal - hotdog, mashed potato, green beans with the side of bread and pickles. Yum Yum!

Things they really should tell you - part dva (2)

There are things you never thought would tickle you so much. Little things in your day with your little one- firsts that you knew were going to happen, but when the do happen, the pure joy that comes over you makes up for everything else.

Things like:

MORNING. When Anya wakes up in the morning, she always comes to my side of the bed first. She wants to snuggle. Her kinda-whisper (remember the previous post about her communication volume? Her whisper isn't so quiet) - generally counting to 10, or saying 'I love you Mommy'.

PRAYERS. Now that Anya has been with us for almost 2 weeks, she has seen our routines, including prayer time at meals and at bedtime. I posted a little note about her praying the other day. Seeing her eager face the first time she prayed at dinner, or even when I asked her to please wait to start eating, and seeing her 'get it' - and quickly clasp her hands in the praying-position. If my heart had cockles, they'd be warmed.

BATH TIME. I have claimed this time. It is mine, and I will not share it with anyone else, even Daddy (at least for now). I love how Anya wants me to pick her up and out of the bath, how she wants me to bathe her, the little content look she gets on her face when I am washing her hair. It is our time. We talk, laugh...even if I don't completely understand what she is telling me, she talks and chatters on and on. She has seen my bath routine, how after a shower, I put on lotion. Now - she insists on cream, exclaiming, "I need NEED cream". Especially on her face (where the majority of my lotion potions go - hee hee!). Hearing her say "I need cream, like mommy" - yep, THAT is MY girl!

NATURAL ABILITY. Seeing Anya for Anya. Watching her, observing her God given talents. That is amazing. Seeing her throw a ball, the way she love sports. The flip side of that coin is to see her draw. She can really DRAW! When she is creating a picture, she really sees what she is creating (which makes no sense unless you have observed a creative person 'create').

I'm sure throughout the years, her abilities will be finely tuned and will change. I think that is great - I am proud to be her Mommy, and encourage her to seek out those God given talents!

GIRL TIME. Pretty clear that Anya's favorite is Daddy, That is awesome! But there are those times that only a Mommy can handle. Hair brushing, toenail painting, choosing clothes, making dinner. Today, it was toenail painting...and it was awesome! No one told me how great it would be to hear my little girl say "Mommy"!

YUM YUM - for someone who is not a cook, not domestic, and never really tried to be...harvesting that part of my personality for the sake of motherhood has been a - well, opportunity. To make something here, from scratch - and have your little girl look at you and (scream, of course) yum yum yum yum! Well, that is about as good as it gets!

Things they really should tell you

There are things someone really should tell you about the first week or so together with a newly adopted child.

On a lot of the adoption blogs I've been reading over the years, all I've read about was all the happy happy joy joy - yes, there is A LOT of that during your early days together. So many fun things to witness, firsts for your child.

I wish someone could have prepared me for a few things that most of us PAPs have experienced. Luckily, I have a lot of friends who have adopted children about the same age that Anya is, so I have resources to call in times of question - PRAISE GOD for that!

The first thing is regression. At the orphanage, Anya was always very independent. This made me a little sad because I wanted to 'baby' her...and when I would try (at the orphanage) she would sternly remind me that she is a big girl, and can do it herself.

Because of this, I had prepared myself for her to not want me to help her bathe, get dressed, brush her hair etc. I was mentally challenging myself to pick my battles.

Now that she has been with us for almost 2 weeks, she seems to have forgotten completely how to bathe herself and dress herself. Even when you ask her to please put on her pants, she acts like she doesn't remember how. Also, she is always asking to be picked up and carried around. She is a big girl - 55" tall, and about 55lbs. Tall and skinny - and hard to have on your hip as you are cooking dinner.

For now, this is all OK with me. We want her to be dependent on us for her needs and wants. We want her to come to us for comfort.

As I type this, she just put on her own socks, and made sure I saw that she did that. This is a first! Not sure if that is good or bad...just a first.

Yelling - oi the volume! I remember being in Anya's room at the orphanage when the kids were getting ready to go outside. All 10 (ish) kids were yelling and screaming, vying for the mama's attention (the caregiver). Of course I don't expect Anya to understand "use your indoor voice, please!". Trying to get the overall volume of her communication turned down has been a bit of a challenge. We've had to stop her, put our hand over her mouth (to shhhhh her), and quietly remind her that we are 3 inches in front of her face, there is no need to scream. Not sure she gets this yet, but we have noticed that when we say 'shhhh' she knows where the conversation is going.

The volume goes beyond just her communication volume. She wants everything LOUD. The TV, DVD, IPod - everything.

Attitude - PI kids have never been taught respect or manners. The attitude that comes out when you say 'no' shows that. And as a Mom - it can be a hard pill to swallow. I have friends who have had their Russian kiddos home for years - 6-7-8 years, and they have commented to me on this attitude. One friend even emailed me last week to ask "so, have you seen the sassy pants attitude yet?"

The survival skills all institutionalized kids learn is probably the hardest thing for them to shed once they become a part of a loving family. If you think about it, they have to be tough to be in an orphanage. The weak are taken advantage of and hurt. They have to appear strong, even if they aren't.

The reality of this stings...this is a life-skill that I don't think I've mastered, and I'm 40. My 7 year old has this skill down like a pro.

I am going to break. Seriously, she is going to break me - literally. Kids who have lived in an orphanage play HARD. They play very rough. It is what it is. But, this isn't something that you are completely prepared for. When your precious little one comes running toward you at full speed, you think "oh, she wants to hug me!"...truth is, her goal is to tackle you.

The way kids play in orphanages is different from the way my friends (your kids) play. She is learning - every day. She is realizing that playing rough is not fun, that it hurts. The first few times she did something that hurt one of us, she thought it was hilarious...of course, we didn't. For example, when she plays ball she throws it AT YOU with all her might - generally aiming for your face.

In the meantime, she has bumped my chin (pretty sure I chipped a tooth), jumped on my stomach so hard I thought my spleen burst (and I don't even know exactly where my spleen is), stood on my knee cap (explaining my current slight limp), and can be credited for some interesting bruises on her Daddy.

Mosz it mena. I know I didn't phonetically type that right. Basically, it means "can I have...". Intellectually, we knew that she would be asking for a lot of things. Having never had anything, we were preparred for a nightmare when we went to the market or into a store.

We are grateful that she is not that way in public. She is very well behaved, and is just excited about everything, and wants to be sure that we see everything that she is seeing.

What has been trying is the 'mosz na pechina' (I want a cookie). So, we say no. And she asks again, and again, and again. Obviously trying to figure out how many times she has to ask before we give in. The easy thing to do is...well, give in. Doing the hard thing and sticking to our guns is trying...on all of us.

I will say, she is very convincing at the 'ask'. Really, it is all about learning boundaries. Truth is, we love our little one so much, that we say 'no' a lot!

Step #1 done, Step #2 done, Step #3 in process

Yep, you heard it here first. The blue dog jumped over the red moon. Errrr, I mean, the passport is in process. Getting a passport her feels like some kind of James Bond 007 mission - which is why I accidentally (hee hee) started talking about this in code.

Seriously, DO NOT ever complain about the way passports are done in the U.S.!

We went to the passport office. In this little waiting room area, there were about 200 people jammed in there like sardines. All staring at us like something that just walked in from off of the moon. Anyway - we walked through the crowd, to this door in the back of the room - and walked right in...which got some interesting looks from the crowd. We waited about 2 minutes before the woman at the back desk motioned for us to come over and sit down. She took a STACK of documents from Andrew, and inspected each one very carefully. She was asking questions - I got nervous. She then wanted to see our passports, but never even glanced at mine. She inspected Marty's as if it wasn't real. She looked at his immigration paperwork, Visa, and his registration card. There was something about the registration she didn't like. She took it out of his passport and left the room.

(insert sound of freaking out here)

This is when I started to pray. Just about went to my knees!

Marty asked Andrew what the deal was, and she wanted to make sure it was authentic (huh? it has the oh coveted stamp on it!). She returned to the room, apparently with the power-that-be's approval. She then wanted to see the original adoption decree and original birth certificate (although she had perfectly good copies in her stand of papers).

All of this is very typical of getting anything done here - so really, nothing was out of the ordinary.

We asked about obtainng a regular passport rather than a biometric one. In order to do that, we would need to approach the chief of that passport office. The chief only works on Friday and Tuesday (from something like 11 - 3). There was no guarantee he would grant our request, and if he did grant it, we would have to resubmit all of the documents and still wait the 2 weeks to get the passport issued.

In other words, things are NOT like they are at home. At home, if you have an emergency, you can pay to have your passport expidited. Not here. I wonder what happens when someone has to leave the country for an emergency...they probably die waiting for thier passport to be delivered from the official government courier.

We were told that we can start checking to see if the passport came in on the 22nd. That is in a week and 1/2. There is no phone number to call (like the USCIS!), you have to show up...and when you show up, you wait to see if the box of passports was delivered that day. That is what all those people were doing out in the lobby area. Waiting on the mail to arrive (basically).

So we wait, and pray.

Ya know that book "Eat, Sleep and Pray"? I should write a book called "Pray, wait and Pray"

of all the blessings

I feel like I need to dedicate another post to a very special family. This family has come to mean so much more to us than a resource; more than our 'get out of jail' card; and more than a friend we have on the other side of the world.

This family is God inspired. Intellectually, I the divine workings of the Holy Spirit, but many times it's hard for me to see, feel and touch those things in my everyday life. In this case, it didn't take long, especially when you consider our prayers for the past zillion years.

You see, our prayers have been pretty basic. Every night, it went something like this:

"Heavenly Father, please place your hand on our adoption process. Help us to get through the paperwork, and present a case that the Judge in Irkutsk will accept and grant. Lord, protect Anya until we can bring her into our family. We pray that all those who touch Anya's life and our adoption process seek Your wisdom, grace and love. We thank you in advance for your perfect timing, and the way you are working out every little detail for our extended stay in Russia to bring Anya home."

Not only have Steve and Tami been an incredible support to us, and shown us God's love in ways we've never experienced - they pray for Anya's relationship with Christ. They want her to know Him as much as we do. The love they show her through talking about Jesus to her (in Russian) makes my heart sing!

That is why when Steve and Tami (and Ashley, Andrew and Melissa) gave Anya this very special gift - I was a bit overwhelmed.

Today was a good good day!

Have you ever heard that Black Eyed Peas song? The one that starts out with "I got a feeling, tonight's gonna be a good night - tonight's gonna be a good GOOD night"? Funny, because I don't listen to Black Eyes Peas as part of my regular playlist on my IPod, but I really like this part of the song. For our family today, this was a perfect underscore to the day.

In a nutshell, last night was a rough night. Transition and change is hard. Well - after a heartbreaking evening, it ended very well. Lots of hugs and kisses, lots of bed time snuggling.

This morning started out just as nice...with Anya climbing into bed with us, making sure that we're all covered up with blankets, then going to get her stuffed animals - making sure they're all covered up with blankets - and getting back in bed with us. Ya know - the routine of it all is VERY important!

Anya's first English lesson was this morning too. Anne (the English teacher) got here about 11. The lesson went very well. We decided that it would be best if we weren't here when the lesson went on. Anya would be distracted with us so close by, and probably wouldn't pay attention. No need to worry - we know Anne, and know her family - have met her parents, she is a perfectly capable safe person to leave your children with. No flame comments, please!

Meet Anne - and no, I don't know what kind of bozo face Anya is making here - she is goofy!

Nice smile...better!

Anyway - after the lesson, we took Anne to lunch (Debbie, went to the pizza place across the street for the first time). Anne came back to the apartment with us to give us a little Russian help. There are some things we need to know how to say perfectly (for discipline etc.). Anya then talked all of us into playing Uno (which is a game I think she could play over and over again all. day. long.!)

It was so nice to have Anne here translating those little things Anya says that we don't quite get. Let me say, Anya has a great sense of humor! She was making jokes, and laughing so hard, she couldn't hardly stop.

Then tonight I decided to make Tami's famous lentil soup from scratch. For those who know me well, STOP LAUGHING! I actually did make the soup, and it was very VERY good! I am adding it to my repertoire of things I know I can cook.

Anya is such a joy to be around. She is very eager to help - always wanting to help me in the kitchen. We are feeling overwhelmingly blessed by our little one tonight. As Anya says as she ends her prayers, "spaceeba Christo"!

funny things from Anya

Anya let us know that she loves her tooth paste. So much, that she wants to eat it.

Anya has named her stuffed cat (from the Matafin girls) Jayme. Where she got that name, I have no idea. I have a friend named Jayme - and I talk about her, who knows!

Last night, Marty made chicken and rice for dinner. Anya thought this was a very tasty meal - after we started eating, she exclaimed (in her BIG Russian voice) - SPACEEBA DADDY, FAKOOSNA! (Thank you Daddy, tasty!)

She has picked up enough English, that she is mixing it in with Russian. At night, we have a bedtime routine, that includes going to bed, praying, Daddy saying goodnight, Mommy saying goodnight and then Anya deciding when Mommy and Daddy should go to bed (picking my battles here people!). Tonight she said "Mommy se chas sleep" (Mommy, sleep now!). But the sleep is more like schleeeeep.

Anya likes to pray before meals, and at bedtime. She has paid very close attention to what we say when we pray, and with a little help - she does a great job. Hope to post a video of that soon! Tonight she prayed for the usual, and included 'Jesus please help Melissa and Ashlea Jackson". Not sure what they are in need of help for, but rest assured Jackson mom and dad - it has been prayed for!

more questions answered

I'd love to hear about her bedroom!
Lots of photos of her bedroom are out there. It’s all light pink and lime green. Stripes, polka dots and flowers. Her room has been done for about 5 years now!




How often did Anya get out of the orphanage, if ever?
When she was in the Detski Dom (Children’s Home), she rarely left. Generally only for specialized doctor appointments. The children went to camp for a week in the summer, and there was some kind of singing / poetry competition once a year that was held in the city. That was about it.

The orphanage she was most recently at was a little different. She went to a traditional school, so every day – she was in school with other kids in the city. On Wednesday nights, she went to Luda’s home for a Bible Study…all this in addition to doctor appointments and so on. Her time out of the orphanage wasn’t great, but she did know there was more to the world than the walls of the orphanage.


How long will you be able to take off work?
Well, we both are essentially self employed, so we can kinda do whatever we want to! Technically we both are still working while we are here. We both take an hour or so a day to keep in touch with clients, try to get appointments set etc. for when we get back. I have a pretty big project (giant fashion show) on April 22 – so I am working on that while I am here.

How do you/how soon do you - hope to integrate Anya into socializing with American kiddos? Gymnastics? Soccer? Sunday School?
We go to a big church, with lots (and I mean LOTS) of friends with kids her age. So as soon as we’re able to get up and around after we get home, we’ll be at church. Depending on when we get home, we may put her in school yet this semester. She is already signed up for a day camp the end of June (through our church).

Anya has already been playing with our friend’s kids here. We’ve been to their house 2 times over the past week to play.


What was Anya's reaction and what did she say when you told her that everything had gone thru and you were really and truly "Mama and Pappa", and she was finally going to leave the orphanage with the both of you forever?
We didn’t tell her. The director of the orphanage did. When we got to the orphanage to pick her up, she knew she was going with us, and was more than ready to go with us!

She is old enough, that I think she understood what was going on – one of the benefits of adopting an older child! Younger children can’t understand, and can be terribly scared of this big change. Anya has known us her whole life, so going with us (and trusting us) wasn’t an issue. We truly are blessed with her transition!

no need for words

Her name is Anya Frrrrrriend

Yep - We have an official adoption decree, a birth certificate AND a colorful wall hanging that says so. We think the wall hanging made it official.

*artist note - this is an Anya Friend coloring original.

This morning, we went to the grocery store, the bank, and the birth certificate office, and the passport photo place.

Andrew showed Anya her birth certificate, and Anya sounded out her new name. She is really a very good reader!

Back at the apartment, Anya and Daddy decided to play Uno. In the middle of the game, Anya asked "what is my name"? She was serious...not as in "your name is Ice Cream, silly!", but as in "I can't remember my name". Daddy said "Anya Friend" - the look on her face was priceless, as if she was committing it to memory. That was about the time Daddy decided to write it down for her.

Anya

(from Marty)
Anya coloring quietly while mama takes a nap. I may be a tad biased, but I think we have the most well behaved lil' cutie on this hemisphere. Is she energetic? You bet, but no more so than any other 7 year old. We are so blessed to have her!!!

(from Kathy)
In my defense, I had just completely cleaned the apartment, scrubbed the floors etc., and got a massive headache. Nothing cures a headache like a little shut-eye!

oops

Daddy let Anya have some tea this afternoon - with caffeine (by accident) - for the last time EVER!

I know there are Q's

Many of you have asked me questions in comments here, and I've been bad (BAD!) about replying. SORRY! Email is a complete pain in the 'you know what' here...so let's do this. Post your questions here, and in a few days - I will be sure to answer all of them in one big post.

The Little Things are the Big Things

I was thinking today about the past 6ish years. What are the things that stand out to me, what things have moved me into action, what things have moved me to tears, and what things have changed me.

Bottom line on all of this is God.

So many of your kids have been praying for Anya for many years. It might have seemed like a little thing at the time, but to us – it was a big thing.

I remember the times before we would make ANOTHER trip to Russia, those of you who came to our house to pray for us, for the trip, for Anya – might have seemed like a little thing to do, but to us – it was a big thing.

There was a period of time when I was tired. I had no energy to do one more piece of paperwork. It was hard to see so much time and energy go to something without any kind of return (or even the hope of a return). You, my friends, prayed me through it, and it is a big deal.

Adoption is not for the fait hearted. It’s not for the weak, those who give up easily or those who aren’t up for a fight. It will change you. For me, it has changed me for the better. My Panera girlie friends - for this I thank you. For moving my thoughts to another place, to see blessings where there didn’t appear to be any; and that is a big deal.

There are those things that still move me to tears when I think about them. What if we never went down this path? What if we went a different direction at the fork in the road? Well…then I wouldn’t have so many of you as friends – family, really. You’ve talked me off the ledge, given of yourself in ways I will never be able to repay, and just listened – you’ve reminded me to lay my issues and problems down, to find answers in Truth. I have found the meaning of true friends…and that is a big deal.