news :(

I don't even know how to post this. We got the legal statement today, and spoke with our coordinator - it seems like the new Judge is using our case as an education. She doesn't know anything about adoptions, therefore is asking a lot of questions about things that are a duh.

Her statement was 8 pages long.

Why is it my job to act as the University level education on adoptions for this Judge?

Most of the things are things we've provided in the past.

She still doesn't understand about the deed / land thing and our home ownership. I don't know how to get her to understand this. Apparently in other countries (as in every other country) there is a purchase agreement for a home - that turns into a certificate of ownership. We don't have that here...and she doesn't get it.

And the changes need to be back in Russia by June 16th.

Which means we have to get them done and in the mail before the 11th or 12th. That means I have 8 days to figure it all out (weekends don't count). It all hurts my stomach.

Oh ya, and our coordinator is going on a 2 week vacation starting on the 21st. The deadline for our changes to go back to the court is the 22nd...our coordinator will translate for us and have one of his representatives deliver our things back to the court. This makes me nervous. Who will be around to check on a statement in that 2 weeks? If a statement is released, but no one picks it up = basically, we lose time. We've lost a week in the process this go-around because of translation...this most recent statement was given on May 22.

And our coordinator suggested we send a personal letter to the Judge. A plea of sorts.

I am rambling. I have a headache. My stomach is starting to hurt. I want to stop whining about this. I am going to bed.

the non-news news

Well, I fully hoped that I would have some kind of grand update to post tonight. But I don't. Today has been a series of "are you kidding me" events.

We got a note from our coordinator, that simply said:

I just got another legal statement ( at least the documents are not rejected), I will put it all in writing for you. Then I think we can talk on the phone to discuss these issues

My first thought was why did he say "at least the documents are not rejected" - was that a concern? What the heck? But then I tried to focus on "discuss the issues", maybe that means there aren't many things to "do". This paperwork redo thing is UNBELIEVABLE!

So - from that email, I had a plan. I was going to call the orphanage and talk to the Director to see if she had heard anything from the Adoption Center. Generally, when the child's documents are called for, that call goes to the Adoption Center, and they work together with the director at the orphanage. Typically, this is the 2-month point to a court date. My plan was a good one...

I lined up our interpreter to make the call for us.

First attempt - the line was busy.

Second attempt - she got a message that said there were troubles on the line.

WHAT?!

Thank goodness for Facebook! As I am posting all my frustrations with calling Russia, I get a message from Tami - our friend who lives in Irkutsk. Found out the phones there have been out for 2 days, and that the land-lines typically go out when it rains. NICE!

Step 2 in my grand plan was to call our coordinator. So, we did. He wasn't ready for our call, and I think we surprised him. He asked that we call back in 12 hours - this will give him time to translate the statement from the Judge and email it to me.

...so the news is that there is still no news.

for now, I will pout

I am going to go with the opening comments of the blog of one of my pals...

I can't decide if I want to

• burst into tears
• go to bed
• laugh hysterically or
• scream

I know I am refocusing, and trying to concentrate on the good...but today it is hard.

I don't understand why it's been a week shy of 2 months since we have heard anything.

Today I just want to feel sorry for myself and pout. I promise I'll snap out of it...but for now, please let me pout.

refocusing

I have been refocusing lately. Not as a matter of some kind of grand self-improvement plan, but as a matter of survival.

I have found that I tend to dwell on things I can't control, rather than to bask in the glory of missed blessings and focus on the things I can control.

Why is it that we (as women) focus on the one person who might not like us, at the risk of missing the love and respect that we get from the dozens of people who love us? I have to think men do this too...to some degree.

I have a friend who is one I turn to when I need to be talked off the ledge. I believe God put her in my life for a very specific purpose, and that is to unemotionally tell me like it is. Her little pearls of wisdom bring me back to center...she has said things to me like, "Don’t criticize or condemn anyone – just forgive and move on" and "You can’t control any part of this except your own action and reaction". All good stuff, all things I needed to hear at the exact time she said them to me.

I can't control the fact that we haven't heard from the Judge in 6 weeks. But I can control the amount of time I dwell on the fact I've been sitting here for 6 weeks thinking and grousing about it. Fact is, all of this that I've internalized is making me sick.

So it's time to refocus.

Rather than to dwell on the fact it's been 6 weeks since we've heard anything...I am focusing on the fact we DID hear something! The Judge DID accept our documents, and they ARE active in the Irkutsk court system.

Rather than to focus on those who are sucking the life out of me, I am going to focus on those who give me life. I have some very good friends, some pals I've known forever...those girls love me; they KNOW me (I mean, they REALLY know me...they have secrets and stories...); I also have friends who challenge me to look up rather than around for answers - they know me, they 'get' me.

Rather than to focus on my nasty dirty house, I am going to be glad that I HAVE a house that is messy.

Rather than to focus on what money we don't have for the adoption, I am focusing on the money we DO have.

It's a choice...I might have to cry it out to get over it, but it's OK.

and then...

Marty had a dream last night that I was pregnant.


That's all I am going to say about that.

the funny thing about Russian culture

Maybe it's just my experience in Russia - but generally, nothing gets done unless you specifically ask for it. For example, in the United States, you would assume that if someone was traveling here to see someone - and you were facilitating that...you would assume that they would want to see that person as much as they could during their stay. This isn't the case in Russia.

Case-in-point
When we were in Russia a year ago, we got the Irkutsk and settled into the apartment. Typically, you do that - and then late morning you will get a call from your facilitator telling you what time a car will come to get you to take you to the orphanage to see your child. So, we waited, and waited, and waited. After lunch, we called our coordinator and asked about the driver and so on and was told, "oh, I did not know you wanted to visit today, no drivers or interpreters are available at such short notice"

[insert huge disappointment here]

So I have learned that when traveling to Russia, I am very careful to be sure to mention that I want to see Anya on the day of our arrival.

I learned yesterday that our documents seem to fall in the same category as the 'arrival day' assumptions. For 40 days, I've been sitting wondering what is going on with our documents. Every 4-5 days, I send a note to our coordinator asking if there is any news, and ALWAYS hear the same thing "nothing yet".

A few days ago, I sent a note to our coordinator that was a little more stern, with a tone of serious concern, and I said "what can be done to speed things up?". The reply I got said, "Would you like me to submit a letter to the court requesting an written statement as soon as possible"...um YA that would be nice! Especially given that we were due a statement 35 stinking days ago!

Unbelievable...and so typical Russia!

What for Mother's Day?

Why a necklace of course! I am having trouble updating the website with new locations and new fundraising totals, but will figure it out eventually...

I think (and I may be a little bias) that this necklace is the perfect Mother's Day gift! It is a story about a mother...it helps to build a family - and it's fashionable to boot!

Get yours today! http://bring-anya-home.com/necklace.html

1-month and counting

Well, our documents have been waiting for a statement from the Judge for one month...30 days...with NOTHING.

The last word I got from our coordinator (on Sunday) was:

well, the judge should have responded within a few days after the deadline. I spoke to the judge's assistant yesterday and she says that she had no information yet.

So, what do we do? The only choice is to wait - apparently there is no 'law' that says how long a Judge has to reply, unless it is written in the legal statement...or something like that.

UNBELIEVABLE!

I have to ask why? Why waiting AGAIN!? Why when things start moving, do they stall (for what seems like eternity) with us? Do we not have enough Faith? Enough Hope? Have we not prayed enough over this situation? If we don't get Anya out of there (or have a court date) by her 7th birthday, she will be transferred to another orphanage with older kids...without going into details, BAD things happen in those orphanages. She turns 7 the end of June.

Seriously, WHY?!?!?!