I wonder about this blog

I am thinking I need to change the name of this blog.  We're not Bringing Anya Home anymore (thank God!).  It's more like "life with a 9 year old comedian" now. What do you think?  Here are some names I started brainstorming - would love to hear your ideas too:

• Candy: the root of all bribes
• A Fashionista in Training
• The Unfashionable Side of Life
• Mommy, Mommy, Mommy!
• What Happened Next

Thoughts?

Something is seriously wrong with me

OK - something is wrong with me.  HOLD YOUR WISE COMMENTS TO THE END, PLEASE!

I'm serious. I can not remember anything,  My ability to remember to do things has gone away.

Here is an example:

A friend asked me for a gift certificate for a fund raiser she is having.  Of course I agreed...and then forgot about it.  She sent me a message a few days ago as a gentle reminder - I was reminded (for the moment).  Then I was on Facebook and noticed another friend was asking her how to get her donation to the event - BIG reminder I need to do this.  This friend and I agreed to meet at my hair place so she could pick up the certificate.  I print it...and forget about it.  Friend shows up at the hair place...I see her...OOPS!

This isn't uncommon.  It happens ALL THE TIME these days.

I've heard about Mommy brain, but this is crazy.

Please tell me I am not the only one who has completely lost the ability to remember things!

very odd few weeks

These past few weeks have been so strange.  I mean, REALLY weird.

One of my close friends had a stroke.  My friends DON'T have strokes!  We get together for shopping, pedicures and glasses of wine.

My brother's girlfriend (of several years) got very ill.  The doctors couldn't figure out what was wrong with her.  It seems that the diagnosis bounced between Lupus to cancer to heart disease. She went to be with Jesus on Saturday. How does THAT happen to a beautiful, full of life 31 year old?

My husband lost his job due to the sale of a company.  He has always been "self employed" but was "partners" (so to speak) in a business for the past (I don't know...) 15 years. We will be fine.  We will replace the income, the insurance, the gas card, the internet, the cell phone. I just wish we would have had more than 30 seconds notice about this. 

I am pouting because this happened the SAME month I generally stop working for the summer to spend time with Anya.  And, 2 days after I purchased tickets to take the family with me on a business trip (making it our first REAL family vacation).

In hubby's line of work, it takes a while to get paid.  To get the projects, do the projects and then get paid for the projects can sometimes be a 4-6 month window.  Once that ball gets rolling (and it is rolling), we will be fine.  Again, I am a little bitter that we didn't have some notice that this was coming.  We had no time to save, to prepare...to make cut backs on spending to get through a few hard months. To start eating Ramen Noodles for every meal...to become one of those crazy coupon people.

But - God is in control of ALL of this.  His glory will shine through all the junk.

Oh, and did I mention that I have also officially hit my mid-40's?

Camping + me = lots of blog fodder!

(originally posted on my other blog - but I didn't want you all to miss out on all the jokes!)

Apparently I agreed to go camping next weekend...4th of July weekend.

Before your uncontrollable laughter completely takes over your day, you should know that I:

- Have lived in Russia, not the glamorous Moscow, but the harsh Siberia, Russia (kinda like camping)

- Have gone on mission trips and had to sleep in the floor of an old church where I could hear the rodents scampering about in the middle of the night.

- Have gone on a mission trip where I didn't eat anything but lunch-size bags of chips for 3 days and only showered once in that time (in all fairness, I was miserable)

- Have an uncanny ability to deal and adapt to just about anything

So although you might THINK you know me - all high heels and skirts...I can be tough!

 

Having said that...you should also know that:

- I do not like bugs. I REALLY do not like bugs.

- I will wear makeup on my face every day. Period. It will happen, it has happened for over 20 years, it will not stop this weekend just because I am "camping" (for all of you rolling your eyes, I SEE YOU! Makeup protects your skin! It has sunscreen in it!)

- I do not eat meat, so the idea of the hotdogs on sticks around the campfire doesn't really sound fun to me

- The reason I haven't had a desire to go with my husband on mission trips to India is because of the restroom situation. I like bathrooms...clean ones with TP are preferred
____________________________
So yes, I am going camping. This week I am going to dedicate this blog to the camping preparations, what I am going to do, how I think I will like it...and of course I want to talk about all of your great advice.

The "week of camping prep" will conclude with my weekly segment on the WFRN Morning Show (Doug and Vincy in the mornings) on Friday...following that segment, I will be getting in our little SUV to go camping!

Right now, I need to know what are your tips for camping?  I mean, I think I will need appropirate shoes, non pajammey-kind-of pjs, a smart organizational system for toiletries (I understand that there is some kind of communal shower house? I envision high school locker rooms...ugh!), what else?

Anya - aka Petunia

 

I love this picture.  It was taken at a political rally over the summer.  I just wanted to share...

on life...

I have to say, I can't remember a time in my life where I felt so, well, OK with things. At peace maybe.

It seems that all I can remember is running toward something, fighting for something, stressing over something. In my 20's it was a marriage (or lack thereof), then it became a job/career (or lack thereof), then relationships (or lack thereof), then of course for the past 6 years working, fighting, stressing over the adoption.

Some days I have to pinch myself. I have a beautiful daughter, a great husband, a perfect job. I even have a daughter that likes to help me at work (yes, this is Anya helping me at the beginning of this season...unpacking boxes upon boxes of new samples of current season clothing)

I have found myself waiting for the other shoe to drop, waiting for something bad to happen. Odd, huh? I am FINALLY settling into LIFE. This is it!

So - fair warning. I am pretty protective of what we've got going on over here. We've worked hard to have the kind of marriage we have, we've worked hard to bring Anya home, and I've busted my booty to get my career on the path that it is currently on. A lot of blood, sweat and tears are behind us now...and we're taking deep breaths - and it's all good.

Maybe this is joy?

don't ya hate it when...

When we were in Russia, we came up with the best 'new name' for the blog. Since we're not really 'bringing Anya home' anymore...I remember it was still 'Bring Anya Home' - then a word that started with a 'C'. I can not remember what that very special, very appropriate word is! And, it is killing me!

So - give me your best "c" words...maybe it will spark some memory!

'C'

best diet plan ever

Looking for a good diet plan?

Go to Siberia for 2 months. If I could bottle it, I'd sell it and be a bazillionairre!

the Siberian Workout

the Siberian Workout - much has been said about it, few have seen it...

Not only do we do odd things when we get bored, like make silly videos, but if a crazy video idea is suggested to a certain someone in the family...chances are it will get made. Therein lies the story behind this ridiculous video showing my darling husband's daily workout routine.

She Speaks

Oh my gosh, Lysa TerKeurst just replied to something I put on Facebook - my day is off to a GREAT start!

I've talked about Lysa TerKeurst many times over the past year and 1/2 or so. I even blogged about her HERE and HERE

The reason for this post is really pretty selfish. There is this scholarship contest to go to the She Speaks Conference - an event Lysa TerKeurst's ministry (P31) produces. Part of the entry process is to post something on your blog about the contest.

Going to this conference is one of those "pie in the sky" things I've always wanted to do.

Why would I want to go to this conference?

Truth is, I believe God has gifted me in some pretty unique ways. I also believe everything in my life has happened for a purpose. The adoption drama, the story of Faith in the face of nothingness. Losing friends, dashed hopes and dreams, hurtful and wrong assumptions made about me and my family..and the bottom line, embracing God's calling on my life.

I would like to further embrace God's calling on my life; but I'm not sure what the next right step is. I've done a lot of writing over the years (here and in real magazines), done a lot of speaking. I would love to further explore both, and just see what comes of it. If it is God's plan...it'll happen!

That is why I have entered to win one of these scholarships. We need to prayerfully consider what God' plan is not only for our family, but for our careers. This might be the next right step.

Thanks for indulging me...and now, back to our regularly scheduled updates.

The Story about The Place Across The Street

When we got to this apartment in Irkutsk, Russia, a month ago, we wondered what the place was across the street. At the time there were no signs. All we could see were people (wealthy people) coming and going. At night, we could see beautiful chandeliers and what looked to be ornate high back chairs.

I will admit, we made up a pretty good tale about what was going on across the street.

I finally broke down and asked. Apparently this is a new fancy restaurant. This restaurant’s tale reminds me of our adoption process…took over 5 years to complete. The progress was halted because of government intervention. After making numerous changes to the original plan, the restaurant was granted the petition to open.

The story behind the story is that a very famous Russian playwright lives above this restaurant; well, he owns an apartment there. He now lives in Moscow. This playwright, Valentin Grigoriyevich Rasputin, is so famous that his plays are studies in Russian schools.
Anyway, when Rasputin got wind that there was a restaurant going in below his apartment in Irkutsk, he wasn’t happy. He called his very good friend, former president Putin, and halted the project.

Well, after many years – the restaurant opened…about the same time we came to town.

We haven’t been there – apparently it is a European type restaurant (that is called Cafe Soho??). We’ve heard it is very nice, rather pricey – but a nice place to go. Something tells me this is going to be the new “after court” restaurant venue.

quick note

We're waiting to hear if Anya's passport came in today. Currently it is 1:45pm, Irkutsk time.

Praying we hear something soon. Our 6 weeks here is weighing on everyone.

And, thank you for all of your kinds words about the food posts. Getting in touch with my inner Betty Crocker would make my friend, Amy Clark so proud! I have another recipe to add later today for a cake that I made from scratch...yes, nothing from a box!

Wishing you all a blessed night!

The Little Things are the Big Things

I was thinking today about the past 6ish years. What are the things that stand out to me, what things have moved me into action, what things have moved me to tears, and what things have changed me.

Bottom line on all of this is God.

So many of your kids have been praying for Anya for many years. It might have seemed like a little thing at the time, but to us – it was a big thing.

I remember the times before we would make ANOTHER trip to Russia, those of you who came to our house to pray for us, for the trip, for Anya – might have seemed like a little thing to do, but to us – it was a big thing.

There was a period of time when I was tired. I had no energy to do one more piece of paperwork. It was hard to see so much time and energy go to something without any kind of return (or even the hope of a return). You, my friends, prayed me through it, and it is a big deal.

Adoption is not for the fait hearted. It’s not for the weak, those who give up easily or those who aren’t up for a fight. It will change you. For me, it has changed me for the better. My Panera girlie friends - for this I thank you. For moving my thoughts to another place, to see blessings where there didn’t appear to be any; and that is a big deal.

There are those things that still move me to tears when I think about them. What if we never went down this path? What if we went a different direction at the fork in the road? Well…then I wouldn’t have so many of you as friends – family, really. You’ve talked me off the ledge, given of yourself in ways I will never be able to repay, and just listened – you’ve reminded me to lay my issues and problems down, to find answers in Truth. I have found the meaning of true friends…and that is a big deal.

No Need to Panic

DON’T PANIC
My email situation is figured out. Thanks for your concern.

whatta day

Have you ever had one of those days when you pinch yourself because it was so great? When you think about all that has happened, and you KNOW you didn't deserve it all?

Well, yesterday and today were 2 of those days for me.

Blessed doesn't even begin to describe these 2 days. Blessed from old friends, new friends, people we don't know. Blessings coming from prayer, in the form of stuff for Anya, transportation and even with my business.

I am without words, and with a full heart of thanks.

To those I've been with over the past 2 days (and YOU know who YOU are...) - thank you.

Peace or Panic?

I read the title of this blog post on Lysa TerKeurst blog this morning. Many times in the past, I swear Lysa and I are twins from different mothers. I have posted witty comments on her blog thinking she will undoubtedly see the comment, know that I am her soon-to-be best friend and thus we will begin a beautiful friendship.

It's never happened.

Let me go back a few steps...

Several years ago, I made some goals. Now, even writing that is odd to me - since I am not the "goal setting" type. I have issues with perfectionism and failure, so setting goals seems to be like setting myself up for failure. So, I don't do it - except this one time. I won't even tell you what all those goals entailed, but I will share that it had everything to do with God's plan for my life, what I feel (and others have affirmed) are my God-given talents, and what to do with it all. Part of this well written piece of literature (ok, not really...just notes on a piece of paper titled "my big stupid goals") was becoming a part of Proverbs 31 Ministries. I never really defined what "a part of" would look like, I just knew that I loved the mission of this ministry.

Shortly after this time of goal-setting, I was in the car listening to Focus on The Family. The guest that day was Lysa TerKuerst. She immediately captured my attention because she is so darn funny! As her story unfolded, I felt like she was my new best friend; and to top it all off - her family story is one of adoption!

I got home, got on the computer to find out more about this Lysa TerKuerst person - come to find out she founded Proverbs 31 Ministries!

But I digress - wow, that was QUITE a digression!

Back to all things adoption...

OK, Peace or Panic.

This has been the theme of our last week. When things are all said and done, I will share more details about what has been going on . But today I will tell you that the 'peace' to 'panic' way of life is a stressful one. It seems that we wake up with Panic - wondering, worrying what the day will bring...and then peace at the end of the day once everything is taken care of.

Lysa's blog post reminded me that the Peace or Panic mentality is MY DECISION TO MAKE. For me, when I go into Panic mode I forget to stop, and pray. I am so concerned about DOING something to make the panic feeling go away, I am completely oblivious to the fact that no matter what I DO, I am not in control.

So consider this a public declaration - Hence forth, I shall try to stop panicking, and instead Stop. And Pray for peace.

headaches and packages

Over the years, I've sent literally dozens of packages to Russia. DHL, FedEx, Standard Mail...yep - been a customer of all those shipping sources.

I have found that DHL is the best - when shipping to Irkutsk.

Last week, I sent a box with some goodies to Anya. It has been hung up in randomness since it left Indianapolis. Frank (my new best friend at DHL) has called me at 8:30 every morning to tell me the status of the package - no, I am not kidding. This is TREMENDOUS customer service. Even though the package still isn't at the destination (and should have arrived last Friday), I'm not mad...why?

1. When shipping things to Russia, I have learned that I have no expectations, therefore am never upset or mad when something goes wrong

2. Because Frank is on the case

Just wanted to give a little shout-out for good customer service. It's a hot button with me, so when it is perfectly executed - I like to talk about it.

Way to go DHL (now, if you can please deliver the package, that would be great...my little girl needs clothes!)

time for some humor

You all know my husband is a creative genius. Sometimes that creative energy takes a scary, strange turn - below is the outcome of today's pent-up creative energy.

Yes, it's Mr and Mrs Fraken-Friend...or Kathy-stein and Marty-stein.

meet Spencer Gregory

Meet baby Spencer Gregory. He is the son of one of my long time BFFs. This is the closest I will ever be to being a newborns mommy. Let me say that holding this precious miracle, and knowing what it took to bring him into this world...took my breath away.

If the hospital room hadn't been filled with people I didn't know, I am sure I would have been a blubbering mess.

Little Spencer is about a week old today. Crazy how time flies. Next he will be saying Mommy and Daddy, then he will be standing, then walking...the next thing I know my friend will be calling me to tell me that Spencer is getting married.

He is a solid reminder. Tangible proof of God's unending Love. His Love is a "no matter what" kind of deal...and I think that is pretty cool. Not until you hold a baby do you understand that kind of love...I didn't get that until Anya walked into the room for the first time - that is when I looked into her precious eyes and thought to myself "no matter what".

I guess I will let my friend be a Mommy to sweet Spencer...stealing him under the cover of darkness is probably wrong :( - let me leave you with a photo of Spencer with his real Mommy:

Perspective

Things happen. Sometimes things come into our lives and shake us to our very core. There is a song that says "we're just a phone call away from our knees"...how true.



The past few weeks, I've been slapped in the face with some reality. Yes - things are bad, frustrating with the adoption. Yes, my heart hurts every day to be with my little girl...but things could be worse.

• One of my friends passed a milestone. 7 years without her son. He died at age 5 from brain cancer. His funeral was one of the most beautiful and hardest things I've ever experienced. Perhaps harder, because we all (many friends and family) really REALLY believed that this child was going to be a miracle.


• Another friend has found herself as the caregiver for her father. He has dementia. He had been in prison for the past 8 years, therefore - was estranged from his family. Then one day, out of the blue - she gets a call from a hospital "are you XXX" "yes" "will you accept guardianship for you father". Her life changed in the span on one sentence.


• One of my oldest and dearest friends and I recently reconnected (gotta love Facebook!). His is a single Dad, raising a teenage girl. That in and of itself is a big thing...but there is more. His daughter is a medical miracle, she has stumped doctors all over the globe. No one can tell her the story of HER. There are no answers. To top it off - she is fighting her second round of cancer...which will likely take her out of the entire first semester of her Junior year of high school. To look in this child's eyes, is to see hope. I see a determined will...one that doesn't give up easily, and one that knows how to work her Dad :)! I love to see the relationship between a Dad and his little girl...I also see the heartbreak in the Dad's eyes for his precious gift from God. I want to squeeze this child, and tell her that her life matters. That God's plans for her are huge. I want to take her to get a manicure and a pedicure. But today, she is facing more chemo and the possibility of a transfusion. I've been on my knees for this family.


• I have so many friends who find themselves in a quiet home...for the first time in many years, all of their kids are in school. On the surface, this seems like every Mommy's dream come true - but the reality is that silence is deafening. I continue to see photos, blog posts and Facebook updates from Moms who are lost - who are needing to redefine themselves, who need to step out of one chapter of life into another...a new chapter with a little more time in the day. Redefining ourselves as women, and mothers can be hard.


• I have a friend whose daughter leaves for college this week. Her husband was diagnosed with cancer this summer, and it is possible that her other adult daughter has Augsburg's Disease. I am exhausted just thinking about the magnitude of the emotional toll just ONE of these things can take on a family. She needs a break.


• Yet another friend has Rheumatoid Arthritis. She also has 3 very active little girls. This week, her knee has decided to stop working...which means she can't walk - literally. Had nothing to do with the arthritis, but is just another painful thing to deal with. Imagine the frustration, the feeling of helplessness...I would be in a really bad mood, and someone would need to be feeding me cakes and candy!


• A client's father has fallen gravely ill in the past few weeks. This has caused the family to make major decisions, quickly. Watching your parents health go down hill is painful. I remember seeing my Grandpa (who was like my Dad) go from the strongest man I knew into a frail old man...it seemed to happen overnight. Changing roles in your family, with your parents is inevitable. It's not easy.


• One of my fashioney-friends is struggling for answers about her health. Stabbing debilitating pains - doctors saying that it is all in her head...and we know it's not, in fact it is in her abdomen! She has been ill for weeks, and no one knows what is going on. To know this industry (fashion), August is a very busy month...added stress is not helping her medical condition. I so with I lived closer to her. I so wish I could give her a break. I wish I knew a doctor that would find out what is wrong and fix it!

• A friend from high school has stage 4 cancer. I had no idea. Went to dinner with her and several other high school friends the other night, and I didn't even recognize her. I feel horrible for not talking to her, not catching up, not knowing. I thought it was strange that no one at the table was introducing her to me...they knew I knew her, but I didn't. She has 2 daughters (I think), I can't even begin to imagine what she is going through - the preparations her heart must be making...I need to pray that she will win this battle.

• This friend is one of those people I have great memories with. We've done so many things together from the time we were 10 years old...I can't even begin to tell you all the trouble we dodged together. We recently found out that she was pregnant. That in and of itself was a miracle. Then she learned she was having twins. I had tried to think about what that would be like for me...excitement turned to panic? Yesterday, she went to the doctor, and was going to find out the sex of the twins. Instead, she learned that one of the babies was gone. She is praising God for the health and gift of the other baby...but can you imagine? I just want to hug her and tell her that her precious other twin is in heaven. I want to tell her that it is OK to grieve. But, I am not her, I can't relate - I can't take any of her pain away. I can't answer any of the questions I am sure she has. I wish I could.

• I ran into someone I've known for several years. I was going on and on about my Mom's recent hand surgery...come to find out her mother has passed away. She had been her mother's caregiver for 8 years, her mother was nearly 90. She lived a full life. Death can be more about the ones left behind, can't it? My friend is in a state of grief - feeling like an orphan. I should have been more compassionate - I wish I would have known about her mother's passing.

• There is a young girl in India, she is 15. She tried to commit suicide because of a lifetime of beatings, abuse and intolerable conditions. She is brilliant. If she was in the United States, her existence would be so different. She would probably be preparing to attend Harvard or Yale. She is not in school in India. Her job is to watch goats. She needs to know that God has a plan for her life - and that plan is huge.

So yes, things could be worse. But my heart is heavy with the issues of my friends. I want to make it better, I want to do something to brighten their day - to allow them to forget the junk for just one minute. I want them to know that God is in control! He has a plan, and BELIEVE ME HIS plan is the perfect plan.

When you get frustrated with your life, with the state of things in your world. Remember these very real stories. Things could be worse.