one good thing...

Got a note from our legal liaison in Irkutsk today. The good news is that our documents (as we had prepared them) are excellent. The comment was "Your documents were quite well prepared" - funny how one little sentence made me feel better today.

Praying - part 3

Just got an update from our friends in Irkutsk. UNBELIEVABLE... after 8 hours of ruthless badgering by both a judge AND prosecutor, the court decided they STILL are not satisfied with the paperwork, and continued the case pending receipt of the new documents. No, I am NOT kidding. Why in the world this Judge would grant a court hearing, if she was unsatisfied with the paperwork in beyond me. Furthermore, all of her paperwork issues were taken to the Russian Supreme Court, and the SC agreed she was given sufficient evidence to proceed to court.

UGH! I am mad, frustrated, hurt - I can only begin to imagine what our friends are going through.

The up side is that she didn't says no. Please continue to pray with us for this situation. A miracle has to happen! I do not understand what God's plan is, and this has been such a long, hard, expensive, painful battle...something has to give!

So I guess...the story is to be continued.

Praying - part 2

I feel like I've been in this day-long conversation with God. I've prayed for everything from the outcome of our friends court hearing, to the Judge's mood, the weather in Irkutsk, traffic, other people who might be in court when our friends hearing begins.

I'm asking everyone I can think of to join with us in prayer. Right now, it is 9:15am in Irkutsk, Russia. The day is just beginning. THE day we've been waiting for!

Please ask anyone and everyone you know to pray with us tonight.

Praying - part 1

Just heard from our friends in Irkutsk. They are so nervous about court. I guess the hearing is later afternoon, rather than early morning (as I assumed). This means I am won't be staying up tonight to hear what happened...I hope we'll be able to know something by the time we get up tomorrow morning.

Sometimes that 13 hour time difference KILLS ME!

Right now, I am praying for a restful night sleep for our friends. I pray that their nerves are calm, that they not think about anything other than being themselves, and showing the Judge what wonderful loving parents they are.

I am also praying for the Judge. That she be thinking about this case as she drifts off to sleep. I pray that God take control of her dreams, and that she wakes with a renewed outlook. That her day tomorrow be marked by difference, and a broken heart for American families, and the children that have been waiting for them.

It's time for prayer

As I write this, it is 10:30 a.m. in Irkutsk - Saturday morning. My friends are there, frantically preparing for their court hearing on Monday. I can only imagine what they are going through, what kind of roll-playing Q&A they've got on the agenda, the knots in their stomach.

But this post isn't going to be about my friends. Although my heart, thoughts and prayers are with them in a way bigger than my words can convey...this post is about the Judge.

Judge Stepanova. She is the one who will be hearing their case. She is of Mongolian / Russian decent (or so I've been told). I hear she is a single mother (not sure if that is true). I doubt she knows Jesus, and doubt that anyone has ever shared with her the love of Jesus Christ.

It's sad. So many lives hang in HER balance. HER rule and decision is one that is governed by what? I don't know. THAT is what scares me the most.

I am feeling an overwhelming need to pray for Judge Stepanova's heart and mind. My prayer is that as she goes into court on Monday, that she is awestruck at this family. At the light that comes from this couple, the child they have from Irkutsk, and the one they want to bring home. I pray that she grant this adoption in such an expedient manner, that no one in the room will be able to understand what happened.

I am on my knees in the hopes that she see in this American family a grace, a love, a determination, and a heart that she has not ever seen in a family in her court. That what she sees in this family will BREAK HER HEART for other American families waiting to be granted a hearing in her court room.

My hope is that at the end of this process, she will meet all of us - all of the American families who have been determined to bring our kids home. She will see in us one common thing, and that thing she will see - she won't be able to understand, but it will make her curious. That "thing" is Jesus. The 'thing' is, that we love HIM enough to love and pray for her. As hard as that is, and as much as I've fought that over the years...THAT is what THIS TIME is for.

please join with me...

What does your heart break for?

Something struck me tonight at church. Dr. Bob made a comment about your heart breaking, he said, "When has your heart broken for the hurting?". I thought that was a powerful statement!

He was making a point about passion. Having passion for something - praying passionately for something.

My heart breaks for Anya, for the orphans in Russia, for the children who are stuck in the political tug of war - between a life in an orphanage, and a life with a family who will love them.

My heart breaks when I think about:

• the children who don't understand unconditional love
• they've never prayed, and don't understand what it means to be prayed for
• who don't cry when they are hurt, because they know it will do no good
• orphans who have never known what is it like to have something of their very own
• these children who have lived in orphanages their whole lives - they've never heard silence, they've never been alone, they don't know with it is like to make choices
• they think that all homes are made up of caregivers and many children
• these kids have never seen food cooked - in a kitchen
• Anya and the other children in her group wash their own clothes - she is 6! Every night, she washed out her socks, underwear and clothing. She's done this for years!
• Anya wondering why Mama and Papa aren't coming for her. What does she think when she is told she will go home with us one day?
• What about the other children who are starved for attention? The ones with a physical disability - that will never be adopted...who are becoming merely a shell of a person.

My heart also breaks for the families we are waiting with. Over the years, we've all become pretty close. When something happens to one of us - it feels like it is happening to all of us. In the past few weeks, we've experienced the loss of a child to a Russian family, the possibility of cancer, surgeries, financial loss, job loss, battle of hardening hearts, overwhelming anxiety, questioning our decisions.

We are all Christian women.

Do I think this is a spiritual battle? YES! Do I think that it is going to get worse? ABSOLUTELY!

The last 5% of anything is the hardest. For years I've been saying that I am OK with that...but is this the lat 5%? I still don't know - but I do know as for me and my friends - we're being attacked. I feel like each one of us - some in subtle ways, others are fighting bigger things - are all being attacked.

Is it a coincidence that this is happening at the same time that our friends are in Irkutsk preparing for court?

...I don't believe in coincidence

Now is the time to pray. Now is the time to allow our hearts to break for our precious children. Now is the time to stand up and not allow the enemy to get control! Our children are too important!

More Happenings in Irkutsk

Just heard from another one of my friends who is trying to adopt from Irkutsk. Her documents are being presented to the Judge on the 24th (which means, in the middle of the night the 23-24th to us).

Join with me on prayers for this family as well!!

The Judge in Irkutsk is being BOMBARDED with Americans this week!

Friends heading to Irkutsk (thoughts)

So, my friends leave for Russia soon. I am so nervous for them! I am afraid the judge will play paperwork games with them. I am concerned that there is something the judge will ask for that is impossible for them to get. I am excited for them to bring home the little one they've been waiting so long for.

I was coming home from work today -had almost a 2 hour drive...and got to thinking about my friends, and this trip. I can't imagine the tidal wave of emotion. Everything from excitement to terror. Butterflies in their stomach in anticipation of seeing their little one, and then in the same instant, a feeling is sickness as they think about facing this judge. ...well, that is how I am feeling for them.

If you are willing to join with me in prayer for this family, please email me, or respond to this post.

Cancer

Recently, I seem to be touched by cancer. I don't know why. A few weeks ago, I SWORE I had a conversation with someone who told me one of my friends had breast cancer. I called a mutual friend who told me (among other things) that I was crazy. I must have dreamed that one.

Yesterday - I went to the Secret Sisters Luncheon. It is a gathering of about 1,600 women in support of cancer survivors. My friend's mom was one of the models in the style show, so I wanted to show my support. At the beginning of the event, they showed a video - 8 of the 10 ladies that were featured in this video were people I know, customers, or those I went to high school with.

I thought I was one of those rare people who didn't know anyone who had battled cancer. Well, I know TOO many.

Tonight I ran into my friend who I thought had cancer. She came up to me and we had a good chuckle about it all...then in all seriousness she told me she has been having some trouble, and is having a mammogram next week.

I don't know what to say about that, except something has to be done. I don't know what - but I do know that I will continue to volunteer my time with our local organizations that support those who have cancer, and those who are raising funds for research.

What will you do? Has cancer touched your life? Your family?

unbelievable

This is unbelievable. I was reading a post tonight - and saw this:

19/09/2008 Moscow News №37 2008

Moscow works to combat child abandonment

It's a difficult fact for foreigners to get their head around; but eighty percent of orphans in Russia have at least one parent.

While child abandonment is a rare occurrence in the U.S. and Western Europe, the
issue of social orphanhood is a pressing problem in Russia. Last year alone, 23,000 children were placed in orphanages by parents who, for various reasons, could not cope with them at home.

I could read the rest of the article.

Phone Call to beat all phone calls!

We just got off the phone with Anya! Seriously, we got to talk to her! I don't think she's ever talked on the phone before - every question we would ask her, she would just say 'da'. When she first got on the phone, the first thing she said was 'when are you coming for me? I miss you!' [enter sound of heart breaking here].

She said that she was in art class when we called. We asked her about camp, and she said there was a river and a pool, and that she is a good swimmer.

She got the box we sent to her for her birthday, but we're still unsure about the letters and emails.

We were able to talk to the social worker - we love her! She is a lovely woman. She told us that Anya is getting very tall. That she asks about us all the time, and wonders when we are coming to get her. How do you explain to a 6 year old that the Judge is an evil person, and is preventing us from doing that?

We explained to the social worker (briefly) that an American family has a court date. She was very excited about that. We could hear the excitement in her voice...which is a little unusual - when you talk to a Russian person, very rarely do you hear any fluctuation in tone. Her exact words were "Oh, that is very good news".

So now, we need to make a TON of money so we can go to Russia. I wish it wasn't SO expensive to visit Anya...or I'd be there every month!

PLUG
If anyone wants to call your child in Russia, I suggest using Svetlana - she typically is used for men that are calling women in Russia...but she was very nice, and very helpful. She is in California. Her fee was ONLY $1 a minute! That is for the translation, 3-way call and the long distance! VERY reasonable!

Please keep in your prayers

Hi All - I just got a note that my dear friend, Vicki, needs some prayer. Her Dad was delivering some goods in the Eastern U.S., and had an accident unloading the truck. I don't have any details - just know that Vicki's Dad needs prayers.

Thanks...

Exciting Adoption News

I Twittered about it yesterday, so I guess I should post an update.

I know this post is going to prompt a boat-load of questions…know that I do not have any answers.

[background] You all know that I’ve become close with several other American families who are also waiting to adopt a precious little one from Irkutsk, Russia. We’ve all been waiting about the same amount of time (around the 4 year mark). We’ve all been an incredible source of strength for each other; not to mention an amazing resource for one another!





Well, one of these amazing families has been able to obtain a court date in Irkutsk. Yes, you read that right – one of my friends, who is an American, has a court date from the Judge in Irkutsk. The court date is to bring her little one home.

This is huge.

Before I get bombarded with questions, let me try to avoid them here…

No, I am not going to tell you when the court date is. Just know that it is coming soon. When it does happen, and when my friend gives me permission – I will post an urgent prayer request to all of you. We have prayed our way through this process thus far…we need to pray these dear people through this court hearing!!

No, I don’t know about any other cases – or if the Judge will give any other dates out.

No, our documents are not updated – they all expired Aug 31. No, I don’t know when I will have them done. Yes, I am going to update them. Yes, our team in Russia continues to work on our case.

Yes, I am a little in shock.

Stay tuned for more exciting updates!

PHOTOS: from west.ioimprov.com and wildcatblitz.com

Blissfully Domestic

I think the Blissfully Domestic website is finally up and running! Check out some great articles HERE

The Drama of being a mother to 7

*** update 12:45pm - we have found foster homes for the kitties. I don't
know anything about it yet - if they are going to be split up - nothing. More
details to follow. ***

***update way too late Sunday night - I think the foster mom for the kittens
is going to be OK. She took all 5, and MS too. I didn't tell her
about MS, so that might not have been the best idea - really didn't think about
it until after the fact - so Michelle, if you see this {sorry}. I
am sad. Can't stop thinking about Hemmie.

When you are going through the adoption process, the way your brain thinks changes. Anyone who has been through it knows what I am talking about. In everything that happens, you look for meaning - you wonder if that is some kind of ‘test’ from God. Every chance encounter you are sure was ordained by God. Every trial you know was of His plan to make you stronger.

Which might all be true.

We now have 7 cats in our house. Jazz – who is the resident fuzzy ball of fun. The 5 kittens (who I now call Morris, Hemmie, Raskey, Storm and Snow), and some relative of the5, Morris Senior. The kittens are at the cat hotel (AKA our downstairs bathroom), Morris Sr. has taken up residence in the garage; and of course Jazz still has full reign of the house.

So I wonder – what is this all about?

Could it be that this is some kind of test? To see how many different ways I can be pulled until I break? The feeding, everyone is clamoring and crying for my attention. I just get done feeding and watering everyone – and then *crash* something has happened with the 5, so I go back in to see what is going on – 2 escape causing Jazz to go ballistic. I get everyone corralled back in the “hotel”, calm down Jazz – and I hear wailing coming from the garage…and so it starts all over again.

And I feel bad for Jazz. She doesn’t know what is going on – all she knows is that some strange smells and some other animals are invading her space. If you know anything about cats, then you know they are very territorial. Jazz is used to being the center of attention – or I should say, getting all of my attention. She is acting a little neglected and, well, mad. Right now, she is sitting on my desk staring at me with a look of “what have you done” in her eyes.

Then there are the babies. They need attention. They’ve gained a little weight in the short time they’ve been here. 3 of them are very starved for attention (they are boys). The 2 girls (the grey ones, Snow and Storm) are happy to just play with each other.

Oh geez, then Morris Sr. I feel so bad – I haven’t had time to really go out there and spend time with him/her (not sure if it is a he or she). M.S can’t come inside, because she has ear mites. I should do something about that. She is also very thin, and dehydrated. I just gave M.S. more water, and am monitoring the litter box…because that is what you do when you are the mother to cats. But M.S. is older, and is more self sufficient than the kittens.

Have I mentioned Oz? Yes, there is yet ANOTHER outside cat, Oz that has appeared in the past few days too. Oz looks like an Ocelot cat – beautiful! Yes, we fed him (which is why he keeps appearing, I know…) – but he is so skinny too.

UGH!!!

I’ve lived here long enough to know – we ‘ve NEVER had this many cats appear. Generally, we have random wild cats show up – but never this many nice cats that obviously have been around people.

So, if this isn’t a test – what is it? A glimpse into how things are going to be when Anya gets home? Being pulled in a million directions, feeling like you’re not getting anything done – and all you want to do is take a shower?

Maybe is it a test of my heart? How much can I take before I break? I have a heart for animals – but I have a soft spot for cats. I've walked away from dogs and puppies before - heartbroken, but I've done it. How am I supposed to let go of these little fur balls when we find foster families for them? What if the new families aren’t nice? What if they don’t know they all need attention? What if they don’t care that the kittens won’t use the litter box if it is messy? What if they never get adopted? Then what?

But I know I can’t keep them. Maybe this is what it is like to work in an orphanage? Loving each orphan, knowing they all have very specific needs, wanting to meet every one of those needs. Needing some help – just one more set of hands to help. Feeling your hear break with each cry.

Whatever it is, I don’t like it. It’s painful. It hurts. I don’t like feeling that I can’t do the best job because I am being spread too thin. I don’t like wondering if I am making a difference, making things better.

So, like all tired moms I know…I think I am going to put all the babies down for a nap so I can have a good cry and a shower.

oh ya, I forgot to clean up the breakfast dishes. I should do that first...

Kittens?

We found 5 little kittens tonight as we were walking down our driveway. They followed us back to the house - and now I don't know what to do. My Mom (who volunteers at Pet Refuge) is on her way over to help. For the time being, they're living in our downstairs bathroom...and Jazz (our cat) is NOT happy!

Anyone want a kitty? They are all very sweet - there is a runt that I am already attached to. Not sure how I am going to be able to give all these little furry guys up...

Article Published

I recently was asked to be a contributing writer for Blissfully Domestic. It is a great online magazine, with a readership of about 250,000! Yikes! Guess I am going to have to start paying closer attention to my grammar!



This week is a relaunch of the mag - new look, stronger push etc. I have 2 articles that will be featured this week. The first one was published today - it is about back to school shopping. Check it out HERE - the other piece is supposed to be published tomorrow, and it is about bra fit (I think). It will appear HERE

I have several friends who are also a part of this great magazine. It is so awesome to have such creative talent - within MY circle of friends! Check out Michelle's story HERE - this is a story about children and manners (super funny) - she will be a contributor to the Family section, and on the Faith section. And, another one of my pals, Amy is the editor of the Family section.

Make Blissfully Domestic one of your daily 'must reads' - also, become a member (which is no big deal) so you can comment on the great stories that appear in this online magazine!

[side note] - years ago I worked for a University as a regional marketing person. Well, one of the campuses I was responsible for didn't like me. They decided I couldn't write, and complained to my boss about my writing skills. So, my boss (to shut them up) made me take the English section of a college entrance exam (keep in mind that I have a BS and an MBA). So, I took the test, and passed with flying colors - I actually tested out of every English class you could test out of. Duh! I was also told to 'not be so Kathy' when I visited that location. WHAT??? Well - fast forward to today. I am doing JUST FINE being 'Kathy', and amazing thing - I am being ASKED to write - and I wrote A LOT - as in a 'job'! Success is the best revenge!

Prayer request-a-plenty

I don't know what it is today - but seems like every note I get, everyone I've run into has another prayer request. I am so honored that they're bringing these things to me, but makes me wonder what is going on.

So please - to all the prayer warriors out there - and to those who pray - please remember the following in your prayers:

• My friend (Jen) - her roommate's nephew was hit by a car tonight (little boy is about 10 I think)...keep him in your prayers
• Another family on this adoption journey with us is fighting some unsettling news (we think) - a lot of questions - no answers. Please pray for Peace for my friend, and His will
• Prayers for all the kids who are waiting to come home from Irkutsk. We are feeling the power struggle of good vs. evil - in some ways more than ever before
• My mother-in-law is having some kind of heart surgery tomorrow morning.
• One of my dearest friends son started school today -not sure if we should pray harder for the little guy, or my friend!
• The family of one of Marty's co-workers - Gary...Gary was killed last week

Thank you...

and then the floodgates opened

I was surfing around online tonight - pretty much avoiding anything that even sounded or looked like work (so for me, no online shopping, reading about trends, no magazines...)

I went to a friend's website I haven't been to in a LONG time. This is what I saw:

The title is "Anya's Blessing".

This is a beautiful painting that Cricket Berry did for an adoption fundraiser (auction) that my dear friends had for us years (and I do mean years) ago. I can't remember who won this - but I remember wanting to bid on it (and wondering if that would be not-cool...to bid on something at a silent auction that is being held to benefit you).

In my small group last week, we were talking about embarrassing moments. Anyone who knows me knows that my life is full of silliness that could be interpreted as embarrassment. But seeing this picture reminded me of that night. About how humbled I felt, how loved I felt, and...yes, embarrassed. Embarrassed that we needed a "fund raiser". And I know - this was a way my friends could support us in the adoptions. I know they wanted to do 'something'...I know that.

Those feelings are still with me now - so many years later. I'm embarrassed that we don't have Anya home yet - that SO MANY people have poured time, gifts, frequent flyer miles, money, prayers into this.

And that is all I have to say about that.

What do you REALLY believe?

I read this on another blog tonight. For some reason, it really hit me. I mean, I *think* I really believe, I *think* I really know what I believe. I *think* that this adoption journey is a test of what I believe, and how deep my faith is. I also *think* I've had to learn that my beliefs and my faith is more than what I lean on - more than my own understanding of the "why's" and "how's" of things. Sometimes I *think* I *think* too much, and just need to stop thinking, and start praying...

Do you truly believe that what you believe is really true? A question to
think about from 'The Truth Project'. I think I do. In good times I think I do.
In hard times, it is much more difficult. I loved the visual of the little boy
jumping off the diving board into the arms of his mother. An example of
childlike faith. Am I willing to jump into the arms of my Father?

We took a day off

I know, I was shocked too...but we did. We decided to take today and not work (well, until 8pm). We went to Weco Beach in Bridgman, MI. Ironically - this was the location of our very first 'real' date...now, I know what you're thinking, who goes to the beach on their first date? All I have to say about that, is it all worked out :)

I wanted to share these funny photos. Marty wanted to take a photo with the background in this pic. I disagreed because the sun was in my face - notice my eyes.

This shot was my idea...notice the bad background (or lack of background), and my eyes (haha!)