The Cost...

I've been spending a lot of time lately looking at the cost of adoption.  Primarily, it was because of our taxes, and looking at 6 years of spreadsheets and receipts...but is that the only cost?

It seems that the cost of adoption goes beyond the physical monetary cost, and for some families the real cost is huge, more than they could ever imagine: the price of a marriage, structure and stability, sanity. There are those I know who the cost is high...just when I think our cost was HUGE I hear more stories of a much higher price.

I have 2 close friends who are going through the non-monetary cost of adoption.  They are in the heat of it.  The daily struggles are beyond anything I know I could handle.  Their real character is being tested over and over and over again. Everything about life as they know it has changed in the past year...and for them, life will never be the same. 

If I am being honest with myself, I don't know if I could pay that price.  I have said time and time again that God must have realized that I could handle the paperwork, drama of an international incident, and stress of the (almost) 6 year wait to bring Anya home...but there are clearly things I could not handle.

We have been blessed beyond measure with a smart well behaved child.  But I wonder, what if she wasn't?  What if she was suffering through the horrible side effects of being in an orphanage for the first 7 years of her life.  What if PTSD and RAD became part of our everyday vocabulary.

What would you do?  If the cost ended up being high...if acronyms like PTSD, RAD were in your everyday conversations...and what if you were in a position where you were looking around your house to find things to EBay to pay for therapy for a child you adopted. 

And what if you found yourself becoming a single Mom of a special needs child - what would you do, how would you cope?

What if everything that was at the core of who you are was being tested?  What if you started questioning your Faith? 

Hot Button Issues

I think it’s time to share a little somethin’ that’s going on …on my blog…for the world to see.

Every since I got back from Russia, I feel like I have been attacked. Attacked in my job, with our finances, in some of my friendships. Attack after attack…and I am tired of it.

I have hot buttons like everyone else. Personally, as I have gotten older, I have learned what those hot buttons are and have done everything I can to avoid them going off.

On one hand, things are going so well with the adoption. Prayers are being answered, mountains moved – families are being made…hope is being given to children. It’s all big. It’s all good, and it’s all of Him. I am feeling the presence of God in my life and in my family in a way I haven’t - maybe ever. Marty’s trip to India and my trip to Russia restored energy to seek Him…something we both really needed and wanted.

On the other hand, I have spent countless hours and pounds of emotional energy on (what feels like) Kindergarten crap. I have worked hard (professionally) to do what I do for a living. I know some people don’t like it…I also know that some don’t like me. Honestly – if they met me, I really think they WOULD like me…they don’t even know me.

I have had to prove to creditors that I have paid bills. I had to remind the city of South Bend that I paid a parking ticket by hunting down a cancelled check from 7 months ago. I have had communications to our former accountant taken COMPLETELY out of context, words put in my mouth (that I didn’t say or write), and I’ve had to prove myself over and over and over again.

The things that are my hot buttons keep going off. These altercations (or what feels like an altercation) are the kinds of things (in my world) that would take me down, make me want to just go to my room and cry it out. These things keep coming at me like torpedo fire. I don't even have time to recoup, or cry it out before I'm dodging another one.

I am not an emotional person, but I have cried more in the past few weeks than I have in recent memory.

The thing about all this junk that makes me SO MAD is that I have spent all this time proving myself, proving I am doing what I am supposed to be doing…when I SHOULD HAVE been spending time working on finalizing adoption paperwork!

So, yes – I feel like I am being beat up and attacked. I don’t tell you this for sympathy, for you to tell me how things are going to get better, I don't want advice on which scripture to run to (did that)…I only post this for anyone else who is in the midst of an adoption. This kind of thing will happen to you too…especially if you believe in Christ, and put all your hope, trust and faith in Him. Just when you think "ahhh, this is all coming together, FINALLY" - you will take a deep breath, you will feel the tension in your shoulders start to relax...the BAM.

All I can do (all any of us can do) is pray our way through it. So I will pray for my current frustration and tears. I will pray for those who are fighting me…and I will keep on keepin’ on!

Ya know that song "I will praise you in this storm"...that's me, now.

Unbelievable Week

This week has been truly unreal. So much has gone on that my head is spinning. I just want to share one highlight.


I know I have mentioned it before - but I have amazing friends. Early in the week, I stopped by a friend's house to drop something off (and to get her honest opinion on my scarves - she is quite the crafty one). The plan was that I was going to borrow her Flip video camera for the trip to Russia. She was showing me how to use this little camera (which, by the way is BRAND new, and PERFECT for me!) when she says "you can just keep it". WHAT? Are you kidding me? What a blessing!!









Then tonight, I noticed a box in the corner of my office. I am sure it arrived sometime this week - not sure when. It was from one of those amazing people I've met on this adoption journey. I opened the box, and it was stuffed full of all kinds of things I can give as gifts in Irkutsk. For those of you who have traveled internationally to adopt, you probably can agree that the gifts are one of the BIG expenses...and every time we visit, it means another round of gifts - for everyone. Along with the gifts was an envelope with money. This is when I started crying. Her sons Sunday school class.


Unbelievable. God has blessed me in many many ways - and has truly blessed me with the love, generosity and friendship of these 2 ladies.

Coolest Kid on the Block

Seriously, who else do you know that has a collection of letters from the Embassy, Senate, Sect'y of State, Congress, Governor....

To all the PAPs out there

Or anyone who has been a PAP!

I am working on another adoption story for Blissfully Domestic. One thought - I am so glad that magazine is so much more than just recipes, cleaning tips and money saving ideas!

Anyway - the story I am working on is advice. Advice for anyone in the initial stages of adoption, or considering adoption. I am sure there are things we all wish someone would have told us BEFORE we took that first step. What is your advice?

For me, I wish someone would have pushed us to start 2 months earlier. If we would have, Anya would be home.

What NOT to say to a pre-adoptive parent

FOREWARD - a year or so ago, I wrote a post about the things people say to us as PAPs. I took that blog entry, edited it - and submitted it to Blissfully Domestic (a great online magazine). It was published this week.

It is funny the things people say to you when you are part of an adopted-family. Things people would never say to someone who was pregnant - or who had birthed a child.





The good-intentioned comments can be naive, and quite honestly cold-hearted. In the 4 years we’ve been on an adoption journey, we’ve had some crazy things said to us. Most aren’t mean-spirited, many made me take a step back and say “huh“, and others truly left me speechless.




When we started out to adopt a child from Russia, we never imagined we would be sitting here, 4+ years later, waiting for a court date. To answer the questions I know will come:


1. Yes - we know the child. We met her when she was 2 - now she is 6.
2. Yes - we plan on seeing this through to the end.
3. No - we will not stop the battle to bring her home.
4. Yes - we have met her, we travel to Russia every year to see her; and communicate with her via email, letters and phone calls.




I want to share some things people have said to us - not to laugh as much as to educate. The adoption process is a very personal, very emotional pregnancy. For me, I’ve been “pregnant” (or as they say in the adoption community - ‘paperwork pregnant’) for over 4 years.



To read the rest of the story, go HERE.

Praying - part 4

Just got word from our friends who are continuing to try to get a court date in Irkutsk. The good news is that they've been given another date - this Friday. Please pray for them...for the Judge, for the prosecutor, for every person in that courtroom.

I am so tired of all the game playing over there, I can't imagine how it would be to be living through it!

My hope and prayer that the strength and determination of this couple is seen by the Judge and the prosecutor. That they find NO REASON to continue this case, and that they QUICKLY grant the adoption.

Train of Hope...or MISERY!

I got a note today from our friend who is in Irkutsk...the family who is there battling with the court.

Apparently, there is a 'Train of Hope' that will be coming to the region from the 9-11th. The "Train of Hope" - organized by the Russian government - will be in the Irkutsk Region from 9 through 11 October seeking children to adopt. There are 45 families that are coming. The Train has never been to the Irkutsk region before.

Do I think this is coincidence? Now that an American family is there fighting the court? Now that another American family has submitted documents and are waiting for a court date? Now that at least 3 other families are 90% done with the document prep?

From what I understand, the group will only visit the adoption center, and look through the database for children they want to meet in person.

I am praying that God keep all of our children safe during this time. I don't even know what else to pray about...I am at a loss.

What does your heart break for?

Something struck me tonight at church. Dr. Bob made a comment about your heart breaking, he said, "When has your heart broken for the hurting?". I thought that was a powerful statement!

He was making a point about passion. Having passion for something - praying passionately for something.

My heart breaks for Anya, for the orphans in Russia, for the children who are stuck in the political tug of war - between a life in an orphanage, and a life with a family who will love them.

My heart breaks when I think about:

• the children who don't understand unconditional love
• they've never prayed, and don't understand what it means to be prayed for
• who don't cry when they are hurt, because they know it will do no good
• orphans who have never known what is it like to have something of their very own
• these children who have lived in orphanages their whole lives - they've never heard silence, they've never been alone, they don't know with it is like to make choices
• they think that all homes are made up of caregivers and many children
• these kids have never seen food cooked - in a kitchen
• Anya and the other children in her group wash their own clothes - she is 6! Every night, she washed out her socks, underwear and clothing. She's done this for years!
• Anya wondering why Mama and Papa aren't coming for her. What does she think when she is told she will go home with us one day?
• What about the other children who are starved for attention? The ones with a physical disability - that will never be adopted...who are becoming merely a shell of a person.

My heart also breaks for the families we are waiting with. Over the years, we've all become pretty close. When something happens to one of us - it feels like it is happening to all of us. In the past few weeks, we've experienced the loss of a child to a Russian family, the possibility of cancer, surgeries, financial loss, job loss, battle of hardening hearts, overwhelming anxiety, questioning our decisions.

We are all Christian women.

Do I think this is a spiritual battle? YES! Do I think that it is going to get worse? ABSOLUTELY!

The last 5% of anything is the hardest. For years I've been saying that I am OK with that...but is this the lat 5%? I still don't know - but I do know as for me and my friends - we're being attacked. I feel like each one of us - some in subtle ways, others are fighting bigger things - are all being attacked.

Is it a coincidence that this is happening at the same time that our friends are in Irkutsk preparing for court?

...I don't believe in coincidence

Now is the time to pray. Now is the time to allow our hearts to break for our precious children. Now is the time to stand up and not allow the enemy to get control! Our children are too important!

Friends heading to Irkutsk (thoughts)

So, my friends leave for Russia soon. I am so nervous for them! I am afraid the judge will play paperwork games with them. I am concerned that there is something the judge will ask for that is impossible for them to get. I am excited for them to bring home the little one they've been waiting so long for.

I was coming home from work today -had almost a 2 hour drive...and got to thinking about my friends, and this trip. I can't imagine the tidal wave of emotion. Everything from excitement to terror. Butterflies in their stomach in anticipation of seeing their little one, and then in the same instant, a feeling is sickness as they think about facing this judge. ...well, that is how I am feeling for them.

If you are willing to join with me in prayer for this family, please email me, or respond to this post.

unbelievable

This is unbelievable. I was reading a post tonight - and saw this:

19/09/2008 Moscow News №37 2008

Moscow works to combat child abandonment

It's a difficult fact for foreigners to get their head around; but eighty percent of orphans in Russia have at least one parent.

While child abandonment is a rare occurrence in the U.S. and Western Europe, the
issue of social orphanhood is a pressing problem in Russia. Last year alone, 23,000 children were placed in orphanages by parents who, for various reasons, could not cope with them at home.

I could read the rest of the article.

Exciting Adoption News

I Twittered about it yesterday, so I guess I should post an update.

I know this post is going to prompt a boat-load of questions…know that I do not have any answers.

[background] You all know that I’ve become close with several other American families who are also waiting to adopt a precious little one from Irkutsk, Russia. We’ve all been waiting about the same amount of time (around the 4 year mark). We’ve all been an incredible source of strength for each other; not to mention an amazing resource for one another!





Well, one of these amazing families has been able to obtain a court date in Irkutsk. Yes, you read that right – one of my friends, who is an American, has a court date from the Judge in Irkutsk. The court date is to bring her little one home.

This is huge.

Before I get bombarded with questions, let me try to avoid them here…

No, I am not going to tell you when the court date is. Just know that it is coming soon. When it does happen, and when my friend gives me permission – I will post an urgent prayer request to all of you. We have prayed our way through this process thus far…we need to pray these dear people through this court hearing!!

No, I don’t know about any other cases – or if the Judge will give any other dates out.

No, our documents are not updated – they all expired Aug 31. No, I don’t know when I will have them done. Yes, I am going to update them. Yes, our team in Russia continues to work on our case.

Yes, I am a little in shock.

Stay tuned for more exciting updates!

PHOTOS: from west.ioimprov.com and wildcatblitz.com

Adoption Update, Prayers and more...

[WARNING - THIS BLOG POST MAY CONTAIN RANDOM THOUGHTS, BUNNY TRAILS, AND A LOT OF 'HUH'S....IT'S JUST THE KIND OF MOOD I AM IN]



You all know that I have been exhausted with this adoption process for a while now. I am weary of the fight, tired of telling the story, exhausted with the process, so DONE with paperwork…but I’m not done, weary or tired of trying to be Anya’s Mama (if that makes any sense at all…)

I know I have said it before, but I KNOW I can not bring her home on my own will. I know Christ knows me, He knows how tired I am. He knows what makes me tick – what gives me the energy to push on.

And so I push on.

This past week, it seems a lot has happened. But, ‘a lot’ I guess could be up for interpretation. But before I tell you all that has happened, let me back up.

About a month ago, I started going to a Bible Study with a group of gals from my church. We’re studying biblical disciplines…not an easy study, but (for me) a very necessary one. Admittedly, I have not been good at reading the book every day. I have not been good about implementing the disciplines into my everyday life. But, God knew that before I started this study. Although I haven’t been good about that, I have been good about one of the disciplines – focused PRAYER.



I have been taking time out every day to really focus on my prayer-life. For those that know me well know this is kind of a huge thing for me. Finding time to add anything to my calendar can be a miracle. But, this is important. Something I KNOW I HAD to do.



STUFF THAT HAS HAPPENED
In the past week, we were able to get a set of important documents from California. We have figured out a way to get the medical information done - one of those nutty requirements from the Judge in Russia.

One of the families who is waiting with us (I’ve blogged about them before), got a final ruling form the Russian Supreme Court. They overturned the decision from the local Judge…in her own words – this is what that means:

And then of course on Tuesday we learned that it appears we will get a court date within the next few months and once again I was torn. My heart told me to jump for joy, to yell the good news from the highest mountain; my old self told me to shield my heart since the fact remained that a court date does not guarantee a done deal. For a few days it's been a battle again, but today's it's like I got whacked upside the head. Trust. Such a short, simple word. Such a hard thing to do.

So, we (along with those pre-adoptive-parents we're waiting with...we must TRUST the God we've been praying to for SO LONG! This is kind of where the rubber meets the road. Where our Trust is tested...I'm up to the challenge!

We have another friend, who is also waiting with us – who is completing some final documents to submit their dossier (again) to the Judge in Russia.

Yes another family is completing documents for their dossier to be presented for the first time.

The Embassy in Moscow is working closely with all of our cases, and things are happening on their end. They have the contacts and relationships with those in power in Russia. They can bring attention to our situation that we can’t bring on ourselves. Stuff is happening, things are moving. GOD IS GOING TO WIN!

WHAT DOES ALL THIS MEAN?
Since the Russian Supreme Court overturned the regional Judge’s decision, chances are she won’t make “that’ decision again. This is good. The ‘reasons’ are things all of us are dealing with.
Once a prescient is established with a set of documents, it makes things much easier to appeal (and submit). This is all just my opinion.


Someone WILL get a court date – which is a HUGE step forward for everyone.

We’ve had several groups pray for this adoption situation over the past few weeks. I’ve heard some amazing stories of things that have come out of that prayer. Regardless of what your spiritual background is, we can all agree that unified prayer is a good thing. Here are some of the prayer reports:

• A week ago, a specific prayer was that a court date be granted…to anyone – an American. Our prayer was answered.


• Prayer warriors have told me that in the midst of praying, they were seeing visions from God of our victory; they are seeing a parting of the waves and a calm sea.


• The stronghold that has Anya (and others) is being released. We believe now more than other that we are in the right fight!


• I've received several emails from people I don't know...encouraging notes about our adoption journey (thanks to a new friend from Canada!) - the right words at the right time. Isn't God's timing amazing?!

AND SO NOW...That is all I know (so please don't ask)...this is it...the end, nothing else. I'm not holding anything back, have no further opinions...this is it. I promise.

I wonder

Every year, I put these milestones in my calendar, and think to myself "Anya will be home by XXX".

Generally these times are Mother's Day, then her birthday, then Christmas.

Anya's 6th birthday was yesterday. Another birthday without a mama and papa - without any overboard celebration.

I wonder how she spent her day, or if she even knew it was her birthday. Since it was on a weekend, who knows - since her regular caregivers aren't with her on the weekends.

I wonder if she got the box of birthday gifts we sent. I wonder if she was told that I sent an email last week.

I wonder how much she know about what is going on. I wonder if she know how hard we are fighting for her. I wonder if she knows what love is. I wonder if she is discouraged since we haven't been able to bring her home.

I wonder if she will ever know how exhausting this process has been; how many times I really didn't think I could keep trying; how much I love her, but wondered if that was enough - I hope not.

So, on her birthday weekend - I am praying the God continue to give me strength in this fight. The He keep her safe, the He protect her. And I am also praying that He open the doors that need to be opened NOW so that I don't have to go through another year of milestones in my calendar and think "Anya will be home by XXX"

Craziness of adoption

Let me first say that I know there is no way I am going to be able to complete this adoption. It is going to be all God. If it were simply up to me - my pushing, my document preparation skills - Anya would have been home for years now. I know it is going to be because of prayer and God's grace.

I felt like I needed to say that before I went any further.

[a little background]
I have some friends who had a son who was taken by cancer several years ago. Their beautiful little boy had this amazing sparkle in his eyes - that is what I remember the most...those bright blue eyes.

As this family was going through all the treatments, they were also researching a lot of alternative treatments. I remember praying for them as they traveled (to what seemed like) every corner of the earth, in the hopes that something would be the cure for their little boy. At the time, in the back of my mind, I will admit a little part of me wondered if they had lost their minds. Some of these alternate treatments seemed like hokus pokus.

OK - fast forward to me...now.

If I told you everything that I have tried to get Anya home. All of the prayer meetings we've been to, all of the people we've had pray for us...you would think I had lost my mind. We even stopped at a friend's place last weekend to have this man pray for us. He is from Africa - and is a missionary to the United States (sounds backwards, I know...that is what I thought too). Anyway, we thought maybe he has the gift of powerful prayer...we should stop in and have him pray for us - so we did. I've gone out of my way to meet people who are from Russia - people who 'rumor has it' have some power in Russia. I've spoken to people who have business connections in Russia. Researchers who have spent time in Irkutsk, who know a lot of people in that city - thinking maybe they knew someone with some pull.

I don't think I am losing it - and now I know all the feelings my friends went through years ago with their little boy - YOU WILL DO ANYTHING AND EVERYTHING YOU CAN.

I have an overwhelming feeling that now is the time to pray. Over the past week, I have been getting a pretty strong message to fast and pray. Every thing I read, see, hear on the radio, listen to at church, at small group - it's all about this topic. I think I need to break a little to let God take over to fix it. (which might not make any sense at all...unless you're in my head right now)

So I am going to do another crazy thing to try to bring Anya home. I haven't figure out how/when/what to fast yet. I hope God gives me those answers - because I would like to fast meat (that is a joke - I am a vegetarian).

Anyone have any tips on fasting?

I miss Russia

Odd, huh. Who in their right mind would "miss" Russia? I do. And it is WAY expensive to go there this time of the year. Not to mention the bug factor in Siberia in the summer (seriously bad). But, I'd take it...

Being in Russia means that you're not comfortable. When I am there, I feel really out of sorts - hard to be the 'me' that everyone knows when I am there. But it's OK. It's just a different side of me. Kind of me without the high heels.

But I miss it...and by 'it', I mean Anya.

Russian Orphans

I saw this on another blog - but was a good reminder of why Russia...here are some stats:

More than 700,000 orphans are living in 2,000 state-run orphanages. Of those, 95% have a living parent either unable or unwilling to care for them. Sadly, that does not include the estimated 2 million to 4 million homeless orphans living on the streets and in railway stations....

Of those who are nor adopted and leave the orphanage between the ages of 16 and 18:
-50% of the girls become prostitutes
-40% of the children become addicted to drugs or alcohol
-40% commit crimes
-10% commit suicide

As if that were not bad enough...
-Just 1 in 10 former Russian orphans becomes a functional member of society
-132,500 children are abandoned to the state in Russia every year, up from roughly 67,000 in 1992.
-Nearly 4,640 Russian orphans were adopted by Americans in 2005, down from a record 5,865 in 2004. The 2006 and 2007 numbers are lower (because of new regulations)
-13 out of every 100 children adopted by Russians are eventually returned to the orphanage.
-40 million children in the former Soviet Union are living in poverty.

Sources: Ministry of Education of the Russian Federation

Tell Teleflora what you think!

UPDATE: Teleflora did change the website and classification of this kind of Mom. Now, instead of 'non-Mom' it says 'adopting mom'. I will say that I still don't like this - a mom who has adopted a child is every much a MOM as one who birthed a child. THERE IS NO DIFFERENCE! A mom is a mom! It is unfortunate that Teleflora had to make a distinction between the 2.

Having said that - I do, however, know there are situations where there is a woman who is a mother figure who isn't really a mom. I have a close friend who has a mother figure in her life (she calls her 'adopted mom')...so, I do see how this can be. Teleflora should call this classification of Mom 'Mother Figure' or "Filling a Moms Shoes".

I was reading one of the chat boards I frequent today, and was SHOCKED to read this!

NBC and Teleflora have this incredible Mother's Day contest going on where an adoptive mom has been labeled a "Non-mom Mom".

http://www.americasfavoritemom.com/mothers-day-2008/static/semiFinalists

Their definition of a "Non-mom Mom"?

"Grandparent, stepmom, or mom to adopted children, each one raising and loving a child. A priceless gift for everybody."

Unbelievably insulting!

Can you believe that?! Saying that an adopted mom is a NON MOM! I am spitting mad! And I plan to tell Teleflora and all of the other sponsors what I think about this insensitive comment. Horrible! What do you think?

is this good or bad?

Several of the families who we are waiting with have decided to start a chat group online. This has been GREAT! We have been sharing information, struggles, rumors - all in a safe place where we are assured there is no one lurking (if you've ever participated on a char board, you know there are almost always lurkers that are there for motives that aren't always pure).

Anyway, last night, one of the moms noticed that her child's photo on the Russian database had been changed. Before I go into more detail - let me explain what the database is (in a nutshell)...it is a place for Russian citizen to go to 'shop' for a child. Every child who is available for adoption is listed on this database. Anya is there...and has been for a long time. In the past, the photo that is there was one that was taken of her when she was a baby (like 8 months old) - I thought this was great, since I have photos of her at under 1 - today.

Anyway - Anya's photo had also changed. You can see the translated version of the site here:
\http://translate.google.com/translate?u=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.usynovite.ru%2Fdb%2F%3Fdo_search%3D1%26s%3D2%26y%3D2002%26r%255B%255D%3D38%26p%3D5&langpair=ru%7Cen&hl=en&ie=UTF-8&oe=UTF-8&prev=%2Flanguage_tools

So - is this good or bad?

Bad - maybe the officials have been told to 'shop' her around to Russian families. Maybe they are actively looking to place her in foster care? Maybe I am totally freaking out!

Good - or this is good - this will prove to the Judge that the director and officials did everything they could to find a Russian family for Anya (that is always an issue in court). One thing that is good, is that the photo is a horrible one, and her demeanor is listed as troubled (and she is NOT!!..there are lots of kids whoa are listed as social - and I would think a Russian family would choose a child who is social over one who is troubled (YAY!).

The ironic thing, is the the only 'new' photos that we can see on the database are ours and another family who has taken their case to court. That is, well, interesting.

thoughts to blog about

It's funny - every day I think of things to blog about - but then when I get home, I always forget what I was going to say.

Today is a good example - I drug my hubby to the mall - and I HATE the mall (which you wouldn't think, given that I am a professional shopper - seriously - that is my job...) - anyway - we're at the mall, and I think of all the reasons I hate the mall - and think I should share my wisdom with the masses via blog. Truth is, I have very little (or no) tolerance for stupidity or poor customer service. I know - many of you are laughing hysterically now - because in many situations the very definition of the mall is mass stupidity and poor customer service.

Then we go to eat. Went to one of my fav places - Uptown Kitchen. Love that place. Great service (since that is one of my hot buttons) - they seem to recognize me when I walk in (although I know they have no clue who I am, I like the feeling that they remember that I was there before). No stupid people there at all...love it. Good food, good tea...

Then to church - isn't it odd how when you are going through something, you relate everything to YOUR situation - and it's hard to just sit back and take in a message. Does that make us narcissistic?

Got home, and started loading music on my IPod. My plan was to organize songs that I am going to use for 2 HUGE fashion shows I'm producing this week. But - then I get side tracked...and 20 or 30 CDs later - here I sit, singing my heart out to Faith Hill. Have you heard the song "There Will Come A Day"? It's on the 'Breathe' album. That song gets me...and I think Angie H from church should sing it :) - anyway, I know that a lot of pre-adoptive-parents read this blog. I just want to encourage you with this - THERE WILL COME A DAY.

THERE WILL COME A DAY

It's not easy trying to understand
How the world can be so cold, stealing the souls of man
Cloudy skies rain down on all your dreams
You wrestle with the fear and doubt
Sometimes it's hard but you gotta believe

Chorus:
There's a better place, where our Father waits
And every tear He'll wipe away
The darkness will be gone,the weak shall be strong
Hold on to your faith

There will come a day, there will come a day
Wars are raging, lives are scattered
Innocence is lost, and hopes are shattered
The old are forgotten, the children are forsaken
In this world we're living in
Is there anything sacred?

There will come a day, there will come a day
The song will ring out, down those golden streets
The voices of earth with the angels will sing {HALLELUJAH!]
Every knee will bow, sin will have no trace
In the glory of His amazing grace
Every knee will bow, sin will have no trace
In the glory of His amazing grace
There will come a day, there will come a day
Oooh there will come a day
I know there's coming a day, coming a day