What NOT to say to a pre-adoptive parent

FOREWARD - a year or so ago, I wrote a post about the things people say to us as PAPs. I took that blog entry, edited it - and submitted it to Blissfully Domestic (a great online magazine). It was published this week.

It is funny the things people say to you when you are part of an adopted-family. Things people would never say to someone who was pregnant - or who had birthed a child.





The good-intentioned comments can be naive, and quite honestly cold-hearted. In the 4 years we’ve been on an adoption journey, we’ve had some crazy things said to us. Most aren’t mean-spirited, many made me take a step back and say “huh“, and others truly left me speechless.




When we started out to adopt a child from Russia, we never imagined we would be sitting here, 4+ years later, waiting for a court date. To answer the questions I know will come:


1. Yes - we know the child. We met her when she was 2 - now she is 6.
2. Yes - we plan on seeing this through to the end.
3. No - we will not stop the battle to bring her home.
4. Yes - we have met her, we travel to Russia every year to see her; and communicate with her via email, letters and phone calls.




I want to share some things people have said to us - not to laugh as much as to educate. The adoption process is a very personal, very emotional pregnancy. For me, I’ve been “pregnant” (or as they say in the adoption community - ‘paperwork pregnant’) for over 4 years.



To read the rest of the story, go HERE.