Party for the Kids

I think I am going to have the party for the kids at the orphanage on Friday afternoon. I try not to do anything grand for the kids at the beginning of my trip. I’ve learned if I do that, every day when I get there, I am mobbed – they think I am bringing them gifts or candy every day.

This will also give me some time tomorrow to purchase what I need for the party – and get “official” permission with my translator. I wanted to do this party thing yesterday (i.e. Wednesday) – but I was without interpreter – and I can’t imagine what it would take for me to try to get them to understand what I was asking. Ugh!

Good morning all...

Good Morning,


Since I can’t go see Anya today, I thought I might figure out how to get to downtown, and shoe shop – er, I mean check out the local retail offerings as fodder for an upcoming article (haha!). Well, nothing is open tomorrow.

The missionary family that lives here (Jackson’s), called me tonight and invited me to their home for lunch tomorrow. So excited! I love meeting people here that I have been corresponding with or following online. I am very excited to learn about their time here (have been living here for 8 years!). They are from Illinois originally. Can't wait to post the exciting story I am sure they will share!

more pics

Where am I?

Thanks to the Jackson’s, I have figured out where I am! I am near the large university – by the new bridge. Well of course! That is exactly what I thought!

Wednesday

I was so nervous about today – the whole day without an interpreter.

Got to the orphanage at 9 – and Anya met me at the door. She asked where Julia was (interpreter), I told her she wasn’t coming – it was just me an Anya…she got a big grin on her face, and said “yay!”

We had such a good time today. We colored, folded all the doll clothes, read books, watched TV…pretty low key day. To avoid the sugar-crazies, I opted for an apple today, and some juice. Both – a big hit! One good thing, the apple lasted all morning – so Anya wasn’t asking me every 5 minutes ‘can I have another cookie’, or ‘is it time yet for candy?’.

Did I mention that Anya is reading? She sounds out the words like a pro! Even the big words (most Russian words look big to me!). She will sound out a word, and look at me and ask if that is right. I always say ‘Da’ – I have no idea! I figure ‘da’ is better than ‘I don’t understand’ over and over again.

Anya has been sick. The cough cold thing. I am getting her to blow her nose rather than sniff it (ewwww!). This afternoon, she blew, and got a bloody nose. One of those bad 4 tissue – tilt your head back ones. She looked at me and very sweetly said ‘mama, please help me’. So, I put her on my lap, laid her head back with Kleenex stuck up her nose. She curled right up into me, looked up at me and said ‘thank you’. That might be the first time I have really felt like her mama. She didn’t run to her care givers, deal with it herself – she said ‘mama, help me please’.

Some fireworks started while I was still at the orphanage. We crawled up on the window ledge (that is like 3ft wide) and watched. Anya was going on and on about it all – not sure what she was saying – it didn’t matter…it was a moment. Me and my little girl, watching the fire words. She would point out the sparkles in the sky, and made sure that I saw every single one.

To whoever donated the brown and blue polka dot pants to the Junior League Thrift Shop – THANKS! Anya told me tonight that she loves those pants, they are her favorite (which is pretty funny…I can’t tell you how many pants I’ve purchased for her at all price points…and her favs are used ones I got at a Thrift Shop for what, $3?)

Anya's English Phrase of the day

Anya’s English Phrase of the Day – "silly girl"

Yes, that is my hat!

Can someone tell me...

Can someone explain to me how I can be walking around outside, in sub-zero weather (literally) - my legs are frozen, my nostrils are frozen shut…but I am sweating like a pig!

THE PLIGHT OF THE INTERNET CARD

I came to Russia with 5 internet cards. To get online here, you go the old fashion route – plug in your telephone into your laptop, use the codes on the back of a little card you purchase from a magazine stand…and wonder how many minutes you are really going to get.

For some reason, 4 of the 5 aren’t working…most were new. I ventured out this afternoon to find more cards (need to make sure I have enough to get through the next few days). Walked for 15 minutes down one street, nothing. Decided to stop at the market (got some Nutella! Judy – I am going to try to smuggle it home). Noticed some shopping areas next to my apartment…and lo, there was a magazine stand RIGHT NEXT DOOR (the opposite direction I had been searching!). Walked up to the stand…practicing what I was going to say in my head (I can purchase things like nobody’s business here!)…and the grumpy-needed some coffee or chocolate-mad at the world woman at the counter decided to close at the exact moment I walked up to her window. I pleaded with her – and all she said was ‘neit!’…meany!

Thankfully, Andre (my driver) helped me. He doesn’t speak (much) English – but we figured it out. He even pulled over at one point, got out of the car – ran from stand to stand until he found one for me. What other driver would do this?

Random thoughts...

HUGE day! I found chips and queso at the market! WOO HOO!

a word on documents.

DOCUMENTS
Our docs are in review. I already know of a few things that I need. I need to get reference letters from some kind of powerful gov’t. person – like a mayor. HUGE bummer that Mayor Dave Miller isn’t the mayor anymore! And – for the record, we had a reference letter from him for YEARS when he was still in office.

She also wants references from our employees – however, we don’t have employees. We do have a ref letter from business people in our stuff – so hopefully that will work.

If anyone has any suggestions for this – I am all ears!

When our coordinator learned of our approved association with the accredited agency – this came as very good news. The comment was “this is very good, you will not have any problems”.

Also – I learned that there is an alternate way to present our tax information. Another family who also owns a business did this in a different way – so I will be interested to know what that is all about (‘other’ family who is also in the mid-west – any ideas?)

Need to get ready to see Anya. I don’t think I am going to have any interpreter today either.

thoughts on Tuesday...

Tuesday

Today was a great visit with Anya. She sat and colored just about all morning. In the afternoon, Julia (our interpreter) was not able to work – so I went to see Anya by myself. I was concerned about the language thing, but it went OK.

One thing about our little princess…she can be a stinker when she has too much sugar. She had 2 cookies and 2 pieces of candy – then, watch out! Little miss over excited was bouncing off the walls! Today, I won’t bring any candy with me – maybe an apple

Had lunch with our coordinator today. He told me of a court date for one of my friends…SO EXCITED about this! I don’t want to spoil it for her, so that is all I am going to say about that

I found out that no one is going to be working on Jan. 1. This week is like the week of Christmas for us. Because no one is working, I won’t be able to see Anya. I am going to try to find a work around for that – make some calls etc.

One bad thing – this afternoon we went to exchange some cash, and couldn’t. The bank’s ONLY exchange window was closed – and won’t reopen until Jan. 11th. To my ‘other’ friend who will be coming here on the 6th – you might be wise to exchange some money before you get to Russia. Thankfully – I brought some with me…and more and more places take credit cards now - kind of nice.

Debbie - yes, I got a flat iron, and will give it to Alex for you. You can also have the pot, pan and knife I had to get :).

Anya

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fcSayFcDvZk

I can't get this to post, I will keep trying! BUt I wanted to get it out so Marty could see it...

Anya

This is a photo of ANya's group - you can see me squating down by her. THis was taken after the holiday presentation. see how stinkin' tall she is?

sorry about the silence

We've had some problems getting internet connection and a phone line here in the new fancy-dancy apartment. It is almost 11pm here, and I FINALLY got it figured out.

I am exhausted, but will try to post some kind of movie or pic tonight.

More on Monday...continued

ANYA

I went to see Anya this afternoon. There was a very special Holiday performance. It was so good! I have no idea what it was all about, but the kids danced – and they were all SO GOOD! Marty – Nastia is still here – she was a ballerina, and very good…but didn’t smile once!

Anya is so tall…I still can’t get over it. She had on a top we brought to her last year. She is a solid 5T size, but the top (I think) is a 3T. She is wearing as 12 ½ shoe now, the brown and pink sparkle ones I brought for her are a 13…and too big – but she didn’t care – she’s wearing them. I also got her some 12 ½ white tennis shoes with rainbow soles and laced (ya, those one from Target…and EXACTLY like ones I had at her age that came from Dell’s…mom. Remember those? Tara and I had the same pair?)

Anyway – Anya has lost her front teeth, and her gums are REALLY swollen (probably from the new teeth coming in?) It still bothers me that dental hygiene isn’t a big deal here. I am considering seeing if I can buy some kid toothbrushes and paste for the kids in her group. Maybe if I make that part of the holiday party gifts – it will become fun, and they will look forward to doing it. I don’t want to offend them, but ick! Anya’s teeth really need it…her teeth are coming in crooked (whose didn’t?). I can’t wait to get her home and to the dentist!

When Anya came into the waiting room to see me, she ran right up to me and was yelling “mama, mama! You’re here!”. Of course, she misses Papa! I met with the social worker, director and caregivers already. They are all asking about the papers and process. I don’t know how to explain to them why the judge won’t hear our case. Julia (our interpreter, and the one who has translated our stuff) is very helpful with that. I love Julia – we’ve known here for 3 years now. She knows everything there is to know about us (since she translated our stuff a zillion times). I was thanking her for helping me this week – this is a big holiday week here – Julia made the comment that she is very interested in our case, and wanted to see me and Anya.

The director told me that several Russian families have been interested in Anya. She is by far the tallest (you will see that in the videos), smartest and most advanced in the orphanage. I say this not because I am a proud Mama – but because it is the truth! The director said that her education etc. are all on on-par for her age, and that in some things (art, music) she is far advanced for her age. So, yes, she is just like her Papa!

I am glad Russian people have seen her – this will help in court. I am not glad that she is a known favorite of those who come there to adopt. This orphanage wasn’t seeing a lot of adoptions –but now they are. This is great news! The director also told me that a French family was very interested in Anya. To the French people who I know read my blog – perhaps you know who this is? Tell them to back off! (said with a tinge of American sarcasm humor).

Anya was in a city-wide singing contest. The only child from the orphanage. I guess she did well in the contest! NUTTY!

The director said that Anya continues to be a very well behaved girl, definitely a leader in the orphanage…not just her group. She is very neat and tidy…and does like to get her way. When she doesn’t get her way, she will cry and pout (basically, sounds just like every other 6 year old I’ve ever known!).

I am going to take our docs to Julia today so she can get started with the translation. We are going to go through them together, so she knows what was changed - this will speed up the process tremendously.

I will be able to see Anya every morning from 9am – noon, and then in the afternoons from 4pm – 6pm. Each day from noon to 4, I will waste time. I will probably go downtown – this is the time of year when there is an amazing ice display by the Angara Hotel. These HUGE (seriously, big enough you can walk through) ice sculpture houses etc. I hope to get downtown today or tomorrow to check it out and take some photos.

Tatiana told me of some great places to shop for boots. I have decided I need some black patented leather boots. Everyone is wearing them here, and I saw a pair that I must try to find. Black, cute buckle…the remind me one ones my friend/client Susan H. has. Susan’s came from Italy (and it is a shame she and I don’t wear the same size…if we did, those boots she has might have accidentally found their way into one of my garment bags – haha!). Ya know, it wouldn’t be a trip to Russia, if I didn’t go home with some new boots!

Well, it’s about 6:30a.m., and I need to get showered and ready for my driver. Andre is my driver – he has been working with Alex for many years. Alex is going to pay him directly – he didn’t want me to worry about paying him each day. Very nice – and yet another great safety thing – love it that Alex is watching out for me. I wonder if my hubby emailed Alex and asked him to watch out for me?

Enjoy the photos and videos of Anya’s holiday program!

I'm Here!

Monday


First – HAPPY BIRTHDAY KATHY!! (it is one of my friend’s BDays)

To the Orts – my heart is with you today. I am thinking about you, and praying for God’s Grace and Peace to come over you all this week. Sending you all a HUGE HUG from Russia!

TRAVEL AND THE APARTMENT
Got to Irkutsk at 6:20a.m…sat next to an adorable girl on the pant. I guess her to be in her mid-20’s. Her name is Tatiana. She is from Irkutsk – living in Moscow. She was an exchange student a year ago in the U.S. (Denver). What you might picture a beautiful Russian girl to look like – that is Tatiana…then add bubbly personality – she is my new Russian best friend!

Her Mom and sister picked her up at the airport –her mother (Svetlana) is just as adorable as she is (and probably my age!). They invited me to their home this week. Not sure I will do that, but I might call them and see if they want to meet for lunch one day. Really – the nicest people. Come to think of it – they remind me IN A BIG WAY of Vanessa Smith and her mom Jean Cooreman. Add in an older sister – and *poof* you have Tatiana and Svetlana!

Andrew picked me up from the airport – and took me to a new apartment. I thought I was staying at the apartment most adoptive parents have stayed at. When I got in touch with Alex to tell him I was coming to town, and would need somewhere to stay, I told him that I wanted somewhere safe – since I would be staying alone.

Here is the thing about Alex…you mention something to him, he never says anything about it…then the next thing you know – it’s done. This is the safest nicest apartment I have ever seen. Even by American standards – this is a NICE apartment. Security guard at the door, 2 gates, electronic key entry into the building. The apartment itself – WOW. Stainless appliances, cool deep sink, hot tub, big closet. Unbelievable! And, I in the same neighborhood as Alex (just in case!). The only thing is that there is no phone hooked up yet. There was some problem – but it will be resolved today.

The new pad is not near downtown (the proximity to DT is relative to safety). But that is OK. If I want to go DT (and of course I will want to!) – I can just take a cab.

Another thing – I mentioned to Alex that I would like to have a cell phone while I was here. I wondered if it was possible to rent one. Well, I get one today. NICE! I can be online anytime, go downtown – and call Alex for help! And – he can call me anytime – and I don’t have to worry about being online.

This one is for Marty – the super market across the street is a nice one. And – the young gal who took my money didn’t growl at me for not having the right change!

The only thing I know I forgot is the converter for the electric for my flat iron. In Moscow, I plugged it in, and 10 seconds later, it got really hot – so I quickly unplugged it - don’t want to ruin it! If I did – (Sonia – this is for you) – I want one of those fancy pink ones! I am going to try to pick one up this afternoon.

Oh – luggage. I was able to navigate the airport and luggage myself with NO problems at all. The gal who checked me in was very nice – I am learning that young Russian girls like me…it’s the ones who are older who I have a hard time with. Anyway, I estimated I would need to pay in the $250 range for the extra luggage. This is based on what I know the fees are, and how much my stuff weighed. 2 incredible things happened. First, my checked luggage seemed to lose 10 pounds en route to Moscow. Not sure how that happened, but it did! Also, you are only allowed so many pounds on your carry on luggage. They didn’t weigh mine! YAY! My documents were in my carry on, so it was pretty heavy! I only had to pay $135 for the overage, and the lady who took the money was nice to me, spoke English, and APOLOGIZED for having to take the money! YAY GOD! Paying for luggage overage is one of my hot buttons, so PRAISE GOD for making this go so smoothly!

Oh one more thing – the hotel in Moscow. To all adoptive parents out there who will be in Moscow – the hotel is called The Atlanta. It was only $65 for my stay over – this is VERY cheap! Generally we pay in the $200 - $300 range at the Novatel. Plus $50 for the 5 minute ride to the hotel from the airport! At The Atlanta, transportation is free – they pick you up right at your gate – with a sign with your name on it. They help with luggage and everything…FOR FREE! It is a little drive (probably 10 -15 minutes) from the airport – but well worth it. There is a restaurant there. VERY nice place. People are wonderful – a quaint, little B&B feel (but all rooms are new, clean and have private bathrooms). And the best part – FREE WIFI! If you want to stay there, book it through Peace Travel.

Christmas shouldn't be like this...

Do you ever feel like you should DO something...but there is nothing to do.

Ever feel like you need to rally the troops, gather the prayer warriors, put people into action...but for what?

It is with a heavy heart that we welcome this Christmas morning. Last night, our dear friends, the Orts, lost their daughter in a horrible car accident. Gene Ort is one of Marty's closest friends. I am tellin' ya, Gene and Marty are twins (which, if you know Marty - that is a VERY scary thing...yes, there might be 2 of them out there!!).

We went to church last night, and Mary (Gene's wife) called to tell us just there was an accident, and Rachel was bad...they were at the hospital. She asked us to pray. We did...right there, in the middle of the atrium at church. We told everyone we saw, sent text messages, Twitter notes - I know there were literally dozens of people praying for Rachel.

We prayed and talked about Rachel all the way home. Hoping that the news would be something like a broken leg. At 10:30 last night, we got the news that Rachel had died. The news story is HERE.

Rachel Leazenby was 27. She was a beautiful, faith filled woman of God. When you were around her, you just felt happy...she had an infectious smile. I can remember scanning the room at church, looking for the Orts - and I would almost ALWAYS see Rachel first.

This Christmas day, we're praying for the Ort family, and for Rachel's husband and his family. We're searching for answers, for words of wisdom...for something we can DO to help them in this time of immeasurable pain. I can not imagine.

I can only cry with them and hold them in my prayers.

Barbie goes on a Mission Trip

One of my friends has 3 (as she says) very spirited girls. They are stinkin' adorable. I love the stories I've heard about the girls, about the funny things they do - the amazing things they do - and the things they do when they are just being kids. This is my friend who told me one of her girls was "playing Mrs. Kathy" one day. Hummmm, made me wonder how a little girl would 'play' me!

I stopped by this friends house yesterday, and her girls had prepared a gift for the girls in Anya's group. They picked out several very special Barbies to send with me. These chosen few have had their hair fixed (some even got a special hair cut), and have special outfits picked out for this mission.

These Barbie dolls will surely bring a lot of happiness to the girls in Anya's group. These Barbie dolls are being sent on a very special mission trip - they have a job to do - to let a few girls on the other side of the world know that 3 girls in Granger, Indiana were thinking about them this Christmas, and that these Barbies mean 3 very spirited little girls will pray for them.

Who knows what kind of an impact a seemingly small gift like this will make in the lives of the girls in Irkutsk.

I am glad to have friends with thoughtful children. I hope Anya will want to be like her 'very spirited' friends. I pray that she will think of others, and be surrounded by friends who love Jesus. I hope one day she will go through her Barbie collection, and package up some dolls to send to orphan girls on the other side of the world...just to let them know someone is thinking about them, and will pray for them.

T minus WHAT and counting!

OK I just freaked out. I just looked at the little counter on the right hand side column...and noticed how many days, hours, minutes I have until I leave for Russia. Then I realized that Marty isn't going with me.

I promise I won't sulk...

carbon monoxide

I want to share an email I got a while back from my friend Sarah. You might have heard about the tragedy she describes here on the news...I think I heard it on the Today Show - little did I know that happened to my friend's family.

Then just a week or so ago, it almost happened to my family - to my brother. He had a carbon monoxide leak in his apartment. He hadn't been feeling well, and wanted to sleep all the time when he was home (and for those of you who know my brother - that isn't TOO abnormal!). The detector went off, the fire engines showed up, he was evacuated from his apartment, and relocated (with his cat!).

Our family story ended as just that...a story. Sarah's story doesn't end as well. Please read the following and protect your family - do it today! And remember this family in your prayers. This Christmas will be especially hard for them.

Dear Friends,

As some of you already know, our family suffered an immeasurable loss over the Thanksgiving holiday weekend. The reason I am sharing this with you is because it was preventable.

My dear friend Parker Lofgren who I've known since high school, (we skied together and went to each others Junior Proms), became part of my family when his dad married my cousin Mary. Parker, his wife Caroline and their two children Owen (10) and Sophie (8) died from massive Carbon Monoxide Poisoning at a vacation home that they were staying at in Aspen over Thanksgiving. The authorities believe the poisoning came from a malfunction of the gas water heater and snow melt system. There were not any carbon monoxide detectors in the home, so there was no warning.

Please, if you have any gas appliances (water heater, furnace, oven) or combustible (fireplace, oil furnace) units in your home, make sure you have a
carbon monoxide detector for each floor of your home. Carbon Monoxide is a colorless, odorless gas so a detector is the only way to alert yourself.

There are no words to describe our family's loss. Sharing with you the importance of carbon monoxide detectors and the warning signs of carbon monoxide poisoning seems like the only thing I can do. I have attached an article with more information on Parker and his family as well as the facts about carbon monoxide poisoning for you. If you can not "click" on the links below, copy and paste them into your browser.

http://www.momlogic.com/2008/12/family_dies_of_carbon_monoxide.php

http://www.denverpost.com/news/ci_11103516

a word on Christmas

Dear family and friends,

Don't buy us anything for Christmas. I am serious...no gifts, please.

Every year at this time - we carefully think about and plan on the gifts we give to those in our close circle. This year is no different...with one significant exception.

We've noticed the enormous need in our community. Basic needs are not being met. The number 1 problem in South Bend is hunger...not crime, not education - HUNGER. This problem is only going to get worse as more plants close and more people are without employment.

You might have seen the New York Times article calling Elkhart the "white-hot center of the meltdown of the American economy". Nice...

So this year, we won't be buying anyone any gifts, and will not be accepting any. Seriously - if you have purchased something for us already, please return it, and use the money to donate to a cause.

We all have plenty. None of us need anything - oh, of course, we have 'wants' - who doesn't? We all have a job, we have food to eat, a roof over our heads, clothes on our backs.

The gift we would like to give one another this year is the gift of knowing our gift-giving dollars will go to help those in REAL need.

...again, I am totally serious - don't anyone buy anything for us for Christmas; no clever gifts to the cats, nothing in the mailbox left anonymously...no gifts!

apologies

My apologies for not posting much lately. I have been overwhelmed with paperwork issues, scarf making and general day-to-day junk. Don't get me wrong, I love having a full schedule and being busy, I am just struggling through the paperwork nightmare that has to be done before Christmas Eve. Sometimes it feels like the weight of it all is going to break me. The enormity of what doing the paperwork right has hit me hard. If I screw it up...Anya doesn't come home. If I don't pull all-nighters and suck it up...Anya doesn't come home.

I saw a friend this week who asked me how things were going, and how I was getting along in the pre-Russia process...and I about busted into tears (I do that when I am tired).

So, I apologize for not posting updates as frequently as I normally do. I promise as soon as I see a glimmer of light through the storm clouds of paperwork, I will!

Unbelievable Week

This week has been truly unreal. So much has gone on that my head is spinning. I just want to share one highlight.


I know I have mentioned it before - but I have amazing friends. Early in the week, I stopped by a friend's house to drop something off (and to get her honest opinion on my scarves - she is quite the crafty one). The plan was that I was going to borrow her Flip video camera for the trip to Russia. She was showing me how to use this little camera (which, by the way is BRAND new, and PERFECT for me!) when she says "you can just keep it". WHAT? Are you kidding me? What a blessing!!









Then tonight, I noticed a box in the corner of my office. I am sure it arrived sometime this week - not sure when. It was from one of those amazing people I've met on this adoption journey. I opened the box, and it was stuffed full of all kinds of things I can give as gifts in Irkutsk. For those of you who have traveled internationally to adopt, you probably can agree that the gifts are one of the BIG expenses...and every time we visit, it means another round of gifts - for everyone. Along with the gifts was an envelope with money. This is when I started crying. Her sons Sunday school class.


Unbelievable. God has blessed me in many many ways - and has truly blessed me with the love, generosity and friendship of these 2 ladies.

Scarf Sales now online!

Click HERE to purchase a scarf today!

Wanna Give some Orphans a Christmas?

I was at a friend's store a week ago, and saw these scarves that her daughter made. They were unique, simple, and a great idea.

That gave me the idea to spin off her idea, and create my own...not as a business, but as a fund raiser!

I want to do something special for the kids in Anya's group for Christmas. Doing this is going to require not only a few more dollars for gifts and snacks - but extortion money to pay for an extra bag on Aeroflot - which I am sure they will decide is overweight. I estimate this exchange being in the $200 range. The good news is that if I sell enough, I won't have to bring anything with me. If I can raise enough money, I can hire a catering service to deliver cakes and snacks in Shelechov, and purchase gifts there. To do that, I would have to pay a translator and driver to be with me. Last year, there was a need in the home for new blankets for every child. Wouldn't it be amazing it I was able to raise enough money to purchase a new blanket for every child's bed? I think there are about 100 kids in this orphanage. And imagine if I raise enough to be able to do something for Anya's orphanage, and the groups that my friends children are in. That is a lot of scarves...lots-o-yarn.

I hope to be able to place these in stores throughout Michiana. I am going to start with the stores of some friends (if you are a friend with a store - is that ok?). I am calling them Krasivaya Couture. Krasicvaya means 'beautiful' in Russian. I can also take orders (I guess...) via this blog. They are $35 - and I can ship it to you via USPS. If you want to pay with PayPal - please pay $40 (PayPal fees - blech), please pay mars@mastermedia7.com.

Anyway - here are the first dozen scarves I've made. They are very girly - very frilly...I have 2 that I've worn for the past few weeks - and I get tons of compliments. They are not stitched or knitted in any way...since I don't stitch or knit :)

If you want more details - let me know!

dreams

I had a dream I was in a bus going to Chicago with Oprah...and she passed gas.





I don't know what that means.

Redeemed for Thanksgiving...gratitude in all things

Today, on Thanksgiving - I feel that we need to look deep into ourselves and find what we are truly Thankful for. Oh sure - we all say we're thankful for friends, family, a house, job - bla bla bla. But what about the struggles? The disappointments? The frustrations?

Today, I am choosing to be grateful for everything. I will rejoice with gratitude in the 4 1/2 year wait to bring Anya home. I know this situation will be redeemed, I know God has a plan - and it is so much bigger and greater than mine (praise God for that!!).

I know many of you are struggling with so many things - the wait to bring your children home, random adoption highs and lows, illness of family members, loss of jobs, changes in life's circumstances...this is why I decided to post this.

If you've followed my blog for any length of time - you know one of my favorite blogs is Bring The Rain - I can't even tell you how many times I've been brought to tears over Angie's words. She is an amazing writer and woman of God. If you've got some time - I encourage you to read Angie's blog from the beginning. Get a box of Kleenex - and know that I am just a Twitter away...because I KNOW you will want to talk about it with someone!

With her permission, I am posting a little something from Angie's blog. I invite you to settle in - and read her words...please leave a reply at the end. Let me know if you are going to take Angie up on her challenge...

Saying thank you to God in the midst of our circumstances is definitely different than saying thank you for them. And yet, scripture tells us to do both.

I have had a bad week. I have cried until my eyes were bloodshot and the sheets were soaked with grief. I pretty much told God that we would have to talk about it later. I stared at my Bible on my nightstand and then reached for the book next to it instead. I take a lot of opportunities on this blog to show you my adoration for the Lord. Every word I have written has come from my heart, and I love Him more than I could ever begin to describe.

Really. Truly.

But I didn't want to talk to Him this week.

As a sidebar, I am sure that the God of creation is getting a kick out of me actually writing out the fact that I was acting like a 5 year old.

In a sense, I feel like these words may cause some of you lose a little respect for me, because you may have an image of me, kneeling by candlelight with my Bible while my children sew doilies and laugh about the preposterous things that society is presenting on prime time television.

Actually, I do love candles, and Kate did tell a stranger that she can't watch Dancing With the Stars because "my mom said it is trashy and those ladies don't wear panties."

For the record, that is not exactly what I said.

But I do think they need to do a little more "ballroom" and a little less "half-naked gyrating." Until then, we are sticking to Shirley Temple.

So, I try. I really do.

I look for Him everywhere, in everything. I talk to Him like He's right next to me, and I feel more safe in the presence of God than I could describe in words.

But.

Thank Him for the death of my child?

That's hard.

Monday was particularly bad for me. It was raining here, and the world just felt all wrong. Todd suggested I go to the gym and get away for a little while, so I did. I had my music full-blast, which, as I soon discovered, does not prevent God from speaking. I was staring outside at the wet road, running away from Him, content to keep up the pace.

I started thinking about what Greg had written, and I imagined how beautiful it would be for me to have the kind of faith that thanks God for death. I admire those
who can do it. I want to be a woman like that, who is so fixed on eternity that this world never shakes her. I told myself that if I could just get the words out, He would transform my heart to believe that I meant them.

Lord, thank you for...

I couldn't finish the sentence. I started crying and running faster. I put on a song I love about what the crucified life looks like and I tried again.

Lord, thank you for...

Nope.

I closed my eyes and just listened to the words, and after a few minutes I felt myself start to long for Him the way I haven't in the last week.

***keepin' it real detail- at one point I was so lost in worship that I raised my hand up off the elliptical machine handle, lost my balance, and almost fell off...***

I had a good talk with God (starting with, "Hey, God, that was awesome how You didn't let me wipe out in front of a room full of people."). At one point, I told Him I didn't understand how in the world I could thank Him for the death of my daughter. I told Him (I'm just being honest here) that I didn't think I could ever say those words.

How sweet and reverent of me.

Maybe I should post a doily pattern instead.

But as my Bible study leader Ms. Nancy says, "He loves you right where you are, but He loves you too much to leave you there." The beautiful thing about our Lord is
that He doesn't mind our questioning, as long as we do it with hearts that are sincere in longing for truth. I want to be right with God. I want desperately to bring Him glory. But sometimes, I just have to shake my head and say, "I don't get it, Lord. I don't know that I have it in me this time..."

Later that night I took Ellie and Abby to run errands with me, and on the way home we stopped by this new Thai restaurant to get some take-out. While we were waiting, we found a little table in the corner and started talking about how the day had been. I told them I missed Audrey, and as soon as I said it, I remembered something that Ellie had said in prayer.

"Ellie, you know how sometimes I ask you to tell God something that you are thankful for?"

She nodded.

"And you know how sometimes you say that you are thankful that God took Audrey away?"

She nodded again.

"Why do you say that, honey?" My voice cracked. She looked at me like she didn't
understand why I was so confused.

"Because she's in heaven, momma. And she is so happy. So we say 'thank you. And we will see her again.'"

"So no matter what, Ellie, you can say thank you? Even if you don't like it?"

"Yeah."

"So would you say 'thank you' if someone stole your bike?" I studied her face.

"No."

"Well then, what would you say?"

"I would say 'would you please give my bike back?'"

I laughed out loud.

Because it made sense to me. I am just human, and you know what? It isn't going to be tied up in a neat bow. I can say all the fancy, pretty words that come to mind, and at the end of the day, sometimes I just want my bike back.

Maybe you do too.

We all want to feel like our hurts have been redeemed, don't we? If we could just see the big picture, and all of the things that God sees, maybe it would be easier to thank Him for the things we shake our fists at. The things that cannot be fully redeemed in this life.

For those of you who have read my blog for awhile, I won't have to explain this photo. A few weeks ago, I heard Abby yelling, "I figured it out, mommy!!!! Come see!!! Now it's going to be so great!!!" I started walking toward her room, and this is what I saw.

We want to fix it in this life, don't we?

And it hurts so much that we can't.

It will be redeemed, friends.

Maybe not here, and maybe not soon, but it will be redeemed.

So, in the meantime and in the midst of great disappointment, may we keep our eyes on He Who knows what we do not.

I am going to give you a Thanksgiving challenge, and I want you to know that I will be taking part in it as well. Sometime today, I want you to find a quiet moment in your day to sit in the presence of the Lord. Write down one thing that you are thankful for.

And here's the catch.

It has to be something you don't feel thankful for. It may be something you are carrying with you everyday, and haven't found a way to let go of. A divorce, a death, a loss, a deep wound, a regret you can't shake.

I want you to write the words. "I am thankful that..."

You might not feel like you mean them yet.

That's okay.

Tuck the paper away in a book, put it on your nightstand, throw it in the trash if you must, but write the words. There is astounding beauty in obedience-the act of trusting the Lord with the parts of life you want to cling to the most. I am praying that the Lord will take this seed, this offering, this piece of crumpled paper, this giving of thanks, and He will begin to grow a tree of beauty in our souls.

I am praying for you all. May we all remember this Thanksgiving as the one where we learned what it looks like to start thanking God for it all.

Happy Thanksgiving, Sundays.
Go make it a good one.
Angie

When one goes to Russia...

There is much to think about. Here is my to-do list:

1. Get Visa - get picture and overnight paperwork with passport
2. Get Invitation to get Visa - pay for it, send with Visa paperwork
3. Confirm with people in Irk place of stay for Visa
4. Book driver in Moscow - with Andrei
5. Get Hotel in Moscow
6. Confirm apartment in Irkutsk
7. Confirm driver in Irkutsk
8. Confirm interpreter in Irkutsk
9. Confirm translator in Irktusk
10. Send final itinerary to coordinator in Irktusk and Moscow
11. Make sure director of orphanage has itinerary - make arrangements to see Anya the day we get there
12. Make appointment with Lawyer - get appointment with Judge's office
13. Tell missionary friends in Irkutsk that I will be there - schedule a dinner (?)
14. Look into rental cell phone (pick up in Moscow?)
15. Plan out money - order new bills from bank
16. Book house/kitty sitter
17. Take fur coat to tailor - get hook replaced
18. Get warm boots
19. Get warm mittens
20. Get gifts for Anya's group (about 12-15 kiddos)
21. Gifts for Anya's caregivers (4-6 women)
22. Gift for coordinator
23. Gift for interpreter
24. Gift for orphanage director and social worker
25. Confirm seats with Delta
26. Confirm baggage requirements with Delta
27. Confirm seats with Aeroflot
28. Confirm baggage requirements with Aeroflot
29. Determine what travel stuff Marty is taking to India - make list of things we need 2 of
30. Dossier - get as much done as possible
31. Get with Kelly for help with photos
32. Get with Renee for printing
33. Plan out clothing for trip (1-2 pants / tops - sweaters) - try everything on and make sure that it all fits
34. Plan out DVDs for trip
35. Load MP3 player for trip
36. Pay bills of things that will be due while we are gone
37. Plan out deadlines that should be met before we go - and those that I can meet there
38. Converters for power
39. Food - ramen, peanut butter, mac-n-cheese, silk milk in a box, fruit roll ups, cake in a box to make and take to Anya's group (?)
40. Gifts for Anya - new outfit for every day, Christmas gifts
41. Camera - mine or Marty's?
42. Video camera - get with Amy, get lesson on how in the heck to do it
43. Get You Tube log in etc. from Marty
44. Make sure Marty gets outstanding money into bank account
45. Get all outstanding invoices of my clients paid
46. Ride to the airport - get what time Marty leaves - coordinate
47. Wrinkle Release
48. Get some warm socks (cashmere?)
49. Back up laptop

I'm sure I'll add to the list - thanks for letting me post my list here - much easier to remember where it is if it is online :)

What are you thankful for

Being that this is the week of Thanksgiving, and all the Bloggers are doing it - I guess I'll jump on the 'what are you thankful' for bandwagon.

I'll admit that some days I feel more grateful than others. Some days I am grateful to have a job that I love, doing something that I am passionate about...other days I really am tired, and just need a day off.

Some days I am grateful for a wonderful husband; one who is amazing in so many ways, and who loves me in a fairy-tale way...other days, I wish he would remember to get milk at the store.

Some days I am grateful for a home to live in, one that I've decorated with heart (and blood, sweat and tears!)...other days I don't understand what moron would put the switch for the light so far behind the door that you can't reach it.

Some days I am grateful for our family - that we get together on holidays....other days I don't want to do the Thanksgiving thing at all - I want to stay in my pjs and order a pizza.

Some days I am overwhelmed with gratitude for the opportunity to fight to bring Anya into our home - our family...other days I am exhausted with the process, mad at the system that keeps her hostage, and angry at myself for not being able to find the energy to keep on top of the paperwork.

What about you?

Coolest Kid on the Block

Seriously, who else do you know that has a collection of letters from the Embassy, Senate, Sect'y of State, Congress, Governor....

what I've learned

Note to self...people that know the rules and deliberately don't follow them annoy me.

So, I think I am going to Russia

I know, I've been talking about it for a long time - but I really think I have all the details worked out to go to Russia in December.

Funny thing - rumor had it that traveling in winter is cheap in Russia. Which made good sense to me. Who wants to go to Siberia in December? Well - that isn't exactly the case. But - I'll work it out.

I am going alone - Marty will be in India at the same time I am going to be in Russia. I've been to Russia by myself before - so I am OK with that. Also, some of my friends might be in the region at the same time I am there - so that is a bonus.

I have nothing going on next week - so this is going to be the week I sit and go through ALL of our documents. I am definitely going to make sure that my Visa is good for a few days longer than my actual trip. You might remember the nightmare we had getting home last year from Russia.

I have thought of a few things I can pass off to someone (who is creative) to help with. We have to submit photographs of all our interaction with Anya - well, we have a lot of photos. It would be great if someone with some digital photo skill could help.

Please pray for all the details to work out...and for our finances to be able to withstand a trip to India - and a trip to Russia on top of the other pressures.

Unbelievable

I wasn't going to blog about this, but I can't help myself.

I was at a meeting this week - and let me start by saying that I've had 4 meetings this week (just in case you were with me at one of those meetings). This person came and sat at the table across from me and started talking about adoption. Of course, my ears perk up. She talked about how adoption is "cool", how she's met so many people who are adopting and they are "neat", how she wants to be a part of this local adoption group, and how she and her husband "wanna" check out the adoption "thing".

Yes, I was annoyed...but it gets better...

Then she says that she started some kind of paperwork, and her social worker called already (before her paperwork is done) to tell her that they have been matched with a child, and should have a baby before Christmas.

Yes - I can hear all of you out there yelling "NO WAY, SHE IS FULL OF IT" (I know....) . Anyone that knows anything about adoption knows you don't get matched with a child until all of your paperwork is done, redone, and done again. This isn't just with international adoption - this is ADOPTION period!


UPDATE (11/12) - obviously I wasn't thinking clearly - but yes, there are situations where families have a child before the paperwork starts. But - this isn't the norm.

It gets better...

So as she was talking loud enough to be sure I could hear her, she starts talking about domestic adoption versus international adoption. Keep in mind, this person knows we're adopting...knows where we're adopting from. She says, "why would you adopt from somewhere else - I don't want to travel to some third world country when there are kids here to get. I mean, I wouldn't want to spend that kind of money, I could take that money and go to Chicago for the weekend". I almost had a heart attack - right there, just about jumped OUT of my skin!

Oh but wait, there's more!

Before I made the mature decision to tune her out (this decision was weighed against either tuning her out, or making a scene), she says "ya, I just think it would be fun to have another baby"

Clearly this person has no concept of adoption, is completely insensitive - and any agency that would allow her to adopt without thoroughly discussing her motives should be out of business! Even if her comments were tongue-in-cheek (which I don't think they were), NOT funny! ESPECIALLY with adoptive parents in ear shot (I was not the only one).

OK, I feel sorta better now.

My night ended on a high note (haha). We decided to feed the kids (by kids, I mean cats) catnip. They've been bouncing off the walls all day. Jazz has the munchies so bad, she started sniffing out my PB&J. Now THAT'S entertainment!

Remember friends in your prayers

Funny how adoption brings people together. Regardless of where you are adopting from, your reasons for making the tortuous decision to adopt...adoption brings women together.

I have lots of friends who I call adopted moms - some are in process, some aren't...

One of my in process pals got some bad news last week. Please keep her and her husband in your prayers. J and D need for us to pray for their hearts, and for God's perfect plan to unfold for their family.

Praying - Part 7 new news and updates

I got word last week, that one of my other Irkutsk friends has had documents accepted by the court! YAY! I am so happy for them! In order to keep my Irk pals straight, I decided I need to come up with nick names for them.

So, henceforth - my friend who has been there forever (just got home for a 'break'), the one who has been to court more times than anyone really should go to a Russian court - let's call her Crafty Boater.

And my other friend who just got the good news, let's call her New Diva.

(see, I think these names are hilarious - and I guess you have to know them
to get the same chuckle as I am getting right now)

WHAT HAPPENS NOW? Well, (again) we start praying. The court in Irkutsk has called for the adoption center to get New Diva's child's documents prepared. I think they have a few weeks to do this and present them to the court...then the court has (I think) another few weeks to give a court date. We're expecting news around Thanksgiving.

In the meantime, Crafty Boater is waiting for her 3rd court date. She is home now with her husband and family, recouping from the exhausting 6 week stint in Siberia.

As for me, I am working on the document updates. You can pray for me on that - some of you know the serious struggles I had last time with this process - and the notion of doing it for the 8th time (yes, I've redone our dossier 8 times...the complete new 200+ document version, I've redone 4 times) is completely overwhelming. Which is odd for me, because I don't easily get overwhelmed. My goal would be to get everything done, presented to the court before I go to Irkutsk in December. I am trying to work out the details of the December trip...praying for profitable business to come so that I can afford to go.

Russia Moves to Liquidate Fifty-Six Religious Groups

We were coming home from Indianapolis today, listening to the radio - and something got our attention...the word RUSSIA. Funny - every time I hear that word, my ears perk up.

Here is news coming out of Russia...

Russia Moves to Liquidate Fifty-Six Religious Groups

On October 15 the Russian Ministry of Justice took steps to begin liquidating 56 non-Russian Orthodox religious organizations. The groups face dissolution, Russian news sources reported, because they failed to file required annual reports on their activities. Those targeted include a range of non-Russian Orthodox organizations and churches but hardest hit were various Christian groups, both Protestant and Catholic. Baptist groups were prominent on the list, but Methodist, Presbyterian, Lutheran, Seventh-day Adventist and Pentecostal groups were also included. Well known humanitarian groups such as World Vision and Youth with a Mission were also named, as was the Russian branch of the Billy Graham Evangelistic Association. Non-Christian organizations were also named, including Muslim and Buddhist associations.

Read the rest of the story HERE

Featured Adoption Stories

I want to encourage all of you to visit http://straightfromtheheart.typepad.com/ - and leave comments for those who have shared very personal details of their lives and adoption process...for the world to read.

There is a story about Cindy - a woman who was adopted as a toddler. So encouraging to hear her thoughts on her birth mother, her feelings knowing she was adopted, her challenges growing up.

Then the Baker family, who have adopted from South Africa. So interesting to read about a family who have followed God's prompting - and go where He sent them!

The Chassion family who adopted from China. So interesting to see the similarities between our experiences, and of course - the major differences! Their adoption story was followed by the local news.

And us - most of you know our story, but I think Julie asked me some questions that I haven't talked about here - might be interesting for you to read through our plight. If not - that's OK! Read the stories of the other families.

Praying - Part 6

Yes, we continue to pray for our friend who are in the middle of the hardest court case in the HISTORY of court cases!

After (I think) 6 weeks, my friend has decided to come home. The court has indicated they will get a final hearing in December - so at that time, My friend, her husband and their son will again travel back to Irkutsk.

I can't imagine being there for 6 weeks. I would go crazy! I love visiting Anya, but honestly, after about 10 days - 2 weeks, I am SO READY to come home. Maybe it is a culture shock thing, or a homesick thing - I'm not sure. It is totally exhausting to be in a place where everything you say needs to be translated - where your every move with your child is watched, and you can't interact or discipline your child as you would at home...you're not eating like you should - or the things your body is used to.

So - pray for my friend. That she has a safe flight home, and that all of the pieces of the puzzle come together for her families return in December.

stories of adoption - a must read!

Hello All,

I would like to share a link to a blog I frequent. The writer is a mom to an adopted child - and is writing stories of adoption...those who were adopted, those who are adopting, those who have adopted.

I found the stories that have been posted thus far to be uplifitng and very interesting. I encourage you to visit the site - and pass along the link to those in your individual adoption communities. http://straightfromtheheart.typepad.com/

To all the PAPs out there

Or anyone who has been a PAP!

I am working on another adoption story for Blissfully Domestic. One thought - I am so glad that magazine is so much more than just recipes, cleaning tips and money saving ideas!

Anyway - the story I am working on is advice. Advice for anyone in the initial stages of adoption, or considering adoption. I am sure there are things we all wish someone would have told us BEFORE we took that first step. What is your advice?

For me, I wish someone would have pushed us to start 2 months earlier. If we would have, Anya would be home.

Thought of the day

Isn't it funny (and kind of great) how God will bring a song, or an email - or something to you - that says exactly what you need to hear at the perfect time?

What NOT to say to a pre-adoptive parent

FOREWARD - a year or so ago, I wrote a post about the things people say to us as PAPs. I took that blog entry, edited it - and submitted it to Blissfully Domestic (a great online magazine). It was published this week.

It is funny the things people say to you when you are part of an adopted-family. Things people would never say to someone who was pregnant - or who had birthed a child.





The good-intentioned comments can be naive, and quite honestly cold-hearted. In the 4 years we’ve been on an adoption journey, we’ve had some crazy things said to us. Most aren’t mean-spirited, many made me take a step back and say “huh“, and others truly left me speechless.




When we started out to adopt a child from Russia, we never imagined we would be sitting here, 4+ years later, waiting for a court date. To answer the questions I know will come:


1. Yes - we know the child. We met her when she was 2 - now she is 6.
2. Yes - we plan on seeing this through to the end.
3. No - we will not stop the battle to bring her home.
4. Yes - we have met her, we travel to Russia every year to see her; and communicate with her via email, letters and phone calls.




I want to share some things people have said to us - not to laugh as much as to educate. The adoption process is a very personal, very emotional pregnancy. For me, I’ve been “pregnant” (or as they say in the adoption community - ‘paperwork pregnant’) for over 4 years.



To read the rest of the story, go HERE.

Plea to help our friends in Irkutsk

Hello friends,

I have a plea. As many of you know, we’ve been on a fight (with several other families) to bring our DD home from Irkutsk for over 4 years. One of the other families who is fighting with us has been able to get a court date in Russia…this is HUGE because the Judge in that region has not granted an American a court date since 2005.

This family went to court a few weeks ago, and after 8hours, they were told the hearing was postponed. They went back to court this week, and after many more hours and many not-so-common in-court occurances – the case was again postponed. I don’t want to go into great detail here, but know the reason the case was postponed is crazy! And has nothing to do with the child, or this family.

So, this family will need to go back to court for a 3rd time. Of course they have incurred incredible expense in this process…and more than anyone ever anticipated on this trip. They had to change return flights home – to the tune of over $2,000!

The stress this family is under is enormous. The outcome of their case will pave the way for so many other American families who are waiting to bring children home from this region.

The husband will return home to work, but will be required to go back for the 3rd court hearing (that will happen in 4-6 weeks). The wife is staying in the region (too expensive to fly home, and then back again).

We are confident that this family will be successful, and they will be able to bring their DS home…but not until they have suffered and endured more than any of us could imagine.

I want to help them, and this is why I am posting this note.

I am begging any of you who have frequent flyer miles or AmEx (or other) points to spare – please help this family. The thousands and thousands of dollars they have spent – and are going to spend – on airline tickets is overwhelming. If we can help them ease this burden in the slightest – I know it will mean EVERYTHING to this family.

Please email me if you are able to help…

Thank you in advance for your big hearts…

BAH

Irritated with email!

OK, I have to vent. My email has been acting up. For the past month (or so), I have been getting no less than 400-500 spams a day (yes, that is HUNDRED!).

Well, the spam stopped...and so did my emails! I have had numerous people call me to ask why I never responded to their email messages...well, I NEVER got them!

UGH!

Since the majority of my business is done online, this really worries me - I wonder what I've missed? If a new client would email me, there is no way I would know about it - and now they think that I blew them off. NOT good for business!

Apparently I can 'white list' my client emails - but they have to be done one-by-one (and I have over 750).

OK, I feel better now...just needed to vent.

Praying - Part 5

Unbelievable.




The Judge in Irkutsk postponed...AGAIN!





Here is what I know...


The Judge asked for the bio mother to show up - this isn't uncommon. The bio mother didn't show up - saying she had an emergency with another child.



The Judge also called for the Russian families who rejected Harry to show up. She called for 8, 2 showed up. Apparently one of the men was NOT HAPPY he was called. The 2 families were grilled about why they didn't choose this child (but, they did choose another child...I don't know if this is even legal! Russian adoptions are 'closed' and pretty hush hush...)



So, the Judge decided that she was going to postpone, because of the 6 families that didn't show up, and the bio mother.

The Judge is forcing the mother to make a statement as to her feelings on an American family adopting the child.



All of this could take 4-6 weeks.



As for our friends...they are spent. That is the only word I can come up with. They were to return to Moscow today for the last portion of this journey. Of course, they will need to change travel plans.



Being in Irkutsk is expensive. Traveling there is expensive. They are trying to make decisions on staying, going home, sending the Mr. home to work - and then come back...too many decisions to make on a weary and tired brain.



Of course, at this point, there is nothing to appeal - since no decision has been made.

I am furious to tears. I can not believe this...




I will be sending out an adoption newsletter to my 'big list' of contacts...begging for prayer in this situation. There is so much to pray about today, with the election coming up, the state of the economy, and other heartache in the world...I want to appeal to you - please pray for this family and this situation! I am praying that they are able to make a decision on what to do next, and that the decision is made with a total peace in their hearts. I am also continuing to pray for this Judge and everyone associated with this legal process. The stronghold that is strangling this process needs to be released!

Court in Irkutsk

Our friends are (probably) in court RIGHT NOW. PLEASE pray for them!

Forgot Camera...AGAIN!

Last weekend, we went to Wisconsin to visit our friends, Kim and Bart - and to meet Debbie and Brian. Who are Debbie and Brian you ask? They are one of the couples we've been on this adoption trek with.

Over the years, I've made a lot of 'virtual' friends. I've never been able to meet any of them, until now! It is SO NICE to meet someone you feel like you know so well! No one can really know what we're going through...no one other than the handful of families who are in our shoes.

Marty and Brian spent the afternoon looking at antique cars...a family collection! Marty was VERY impressed!

Debbie and I spent the afternoon going through her closet, trying on clothes - good old fashion 'girl stuff'.

So - thanks to Debbie and Brian for your hospitality! We had such a good time meeting you - and hope that was the first of many get-togethers!

...and on the way home, I realized that I forgot to take any pictures! UGH!

my friends...

I have amazing friends. It hit me today, as I was coming home from a LONG day. I was exhausted, had a headache, and was NOT looking forward to dealing with 'tax crap' (yes, that is the official term).

I started thinking about my friends that I had seen earlier in the day. Honestly, (if I do say so myself), I keep some pretty amazing company!

Now - remember, these are MY FRIENDS, not random people I've never met...these are tried and true friends - those I exchange Christmas cards with, and when I see them on the street, I give them a hug...real pals.

Here is a rundown of the amazing friends I saw today:

• I have a friend who endures crazy criticism for ridiculous things - just because of her husband's job...and if you met her, she has the MOST AMAZING attitude, and such a heart for God...I want to grow up and be like her (is that possible? I'm older?)

• I have another friend who I met recently - she has such a kind and sweet heart - she is totally honest about who she is, and really really wants to change those things about herself that hold her back - that is what I call REAL COURAGE!

• There is this one friend, who I know I can turn to for ANYTHING. She has seen me close to my worst, and I KNOW - she ALWAYS has my back...and that is a big deal to me. She is what I call a real friend.

• Then there is this pal who is just super cool. She is crazy creative; she is able to see things through a creative filter - I wish I could do that. She is one of those people who has a great attitude - and I don't think I have EVER heard her complain...I need to hang around with her more. She is a great mom - the kind of Mom I hope to be one day.

• This lady always says the right thing to push me...and there aren't many people that can say the things to me she can...but I know she does it with a ton of love, and I know she really wants to see me succeed. Being with her makes me a better person...and always makes me smile.

• This sweet friend has known me for a long time - she knew me in college (and I've made her swear not to tell any of the stories!!) - she is driven, successful at everything she tries, super creative, an amazing Mom, and a good friend. She is one of those people who I can call and complain - and at the end of my rant, she would ask if I feel better.

• Then there is my friend who I say is my twin from a different mother in a different generation. I love this gal - and I think she might be one of the smartest women I've met - I have so much respect for her because of what she has been able to accomplish in her young life. She is a loving Mom, fashionista extraordinaire, and has the biggest caring heart.

• Then there is the friend who I haven't seen in a long time. She is such a strong woman, so smart, I love her heart - I am so glad I got to see her today! She is one of those people who is beautiful inside and out. She is crazy talented - I don't even think she realizes how much talent she has!

• Finally, there is the friend who I became pals with via work-ish stuff. She is always there to let me borrow something, tell me what shoes to wear with what outfit, to challenge me and to share my pain. We laugh that we're good for each other because we get irritated at the same things. She is a great Mom to grown kids, really knows how to enjoy life, be a good friend, and laugh! Sometimes I have to pinch myself when I realize that she is in my life!

...and those are JUST the friends I saw TODAY! I saw so many friends today - this is just a snapshot - I need to count my blessings...I remember a time when I didn't think I had many friends. I prayed for God to bring some REAL friends into my life...now, I feel like I have abundant blessings via my pals!

things could be worse

I was reading my friend's blog tonight - the one who is in Russia right now waiting for a court date (again) in Irkutsk.

She posted this photo of a toilet in a HOSPITAL. Now, at a hospital, wouldn't you think that the conditions would be clean, sterile, free of germs and gunk?

Um, not so much in Irkutsk.

All I have to say is ewwwwww.

Praying - part 4

Just got word from our friends who are continuing to try to get a court date in Irkutsk. The good news is that they've been given another date - this Friday. Please pray for them...for the Judge, for the prosecutor, for every person in that courtroom.

I am so tired of all the game playing over there, I can't imagine how it would be to be living through it!

My hope and prayer that the strength and determination of this couple is seen by the Judge and the prosecutor. That they find NO REASON to continue this case, and that they QUICKLY grant the adoption.

a note about the presidential debate

Now that I have your attention, don't freak out. I'm not going to be spouting any of my political views, or offer any commentary on the election - there are PLENTY of blogs out there for that -

But this is kind of political / election-ish - I took a few days off from reading my blogs this week. Every time I do that, something exciting and fun happens to one of my 'virtual' friends - and I TOTALLY feel like I missed out. Silly I know...kind of like when you were in second grade, and you play sick to get out of going to school - and then find out there was an assembly that day, and it was super cool - and you missed out.

Anyway, one of my fav blogs had a fun post. Angie's husband (Todd) is a singer in a little band called Selah. If you've never heard of Selah, I am in SHOCK. Anyway, Todd was asked to be in the 'on the floor' audience at the presidential debate the other night. Super cool! He was in the front row, and all ready to ask his question. Tom Brokaw never got around to asking Todd to share his query, however at the end of the debate, Obama came up to him and asked what he did for a living. Well, apparently - Todd explained that he was a singer / songwriter with a band called Selah - Obama had never heard of Selah, and said that he would look them up online!

Seriously - who hasn't heard of Selah?

Train of Hope...or MISERY!

I got a note today from our friend who is in Irkutsk...the family who is there battling with the court.

Apparently, there is a 'Train of Hope' that will be coming to the region from the 9-11th. The "Train of Hope" - organized by the Russian government - will be in the Irkutsk Region from 9 through 11 October seeking children to adopt. There are 45 families that are coming. The Train has never been to the Irkutsk region before.

Do I think this is coincidence? Now that an American family is there fighting the court? Now that another American family has submitted documents and are waiting for a court date? Now that at least 3 other families are 90% done with the document prep?

From what I understand, the group will only visit the adoption center, and look through the database for children they want to meet in person.

I am praying that God keep all of our children safe during this time. I don't even know what else to pray about...I am at a loss.

WHy doesn't anyone RSVP anymore?

Why Doesn’t Anyone RSVP Anymore?

Even USA Today touts, “It’s rude not to RSVP; Casual attitude is driving hosts crazy” (June 17, 2002).

I recently attended a party hosted by an old friend. She sent out over 60 invitations, and had about 20 people say they were going to attend (typical - count on 1/3 of your invitation list to show up). But what about the other 40+ people? Why didn’t she hear from them? The RSVP was clearly stated on the invitation.

To read the rest of the story, visit HERE

one good thing...

Got a note from our legal liaison in Irkutsk today. The good news is that our documents (as we had prepared them) are excellent. The comment was "Your documents were quite well prepared" - funny how one little sentence made me feel better today.

Praying - part 3

Just got an update from our friends in Irkutsk. UNBELIEVABLE... after 8 hours of ruthless badgering by both a judge AND prosecutor, the court decided they STILL are not satisfied with the paperwork, and continued the case pending receipt of the new documents. No, I am NOT kidding. Why in the world this Judge would grant a court hearing, if she was unsatisfied with the paperwork in beyond me. Furthermore, all of her paperwork issues were taken to the Russian Supreme Court, and the SC agreed she was given sufficient evidence to proceed to court.

UGH! I am mad, frustrated, hurt - I can only begin to imagine what our friends are going through.

The up side is that she didn't says no. Please continue to pray with us for this situation. A miracle has to happen! I do not understand what God's plan is, and this has been such a long, hard, expensive, painful battle...something has to give!

So I guess...the story is to be continued.

Praying - part 2

I feel like I've been in this day-long conversation with God. I've prayed for everything from the outcome of our friends court hearing, to the Judge's mood, the weather in Irkutsk, traffic, other people who might be in court when our friends hearing begins.

I'm asking everyone I can think of to join with us in prayer. Right now, it is 9:15am in Irkutsk, Russia. The day is just beginning. THE day we've been waiting for!

Please ask anyone and everyone you know to pray with us tonight.

Praying - part 1

Just heard from our friends in Irkutsk. They are so nervous about court. I guess the hearing is later afternoon, rather than early morning (as I assumed). This means I am won't be staying up tonight to hear what happened...I hope we'll be able to know something by the time we get up tomorrow morning.

Sometimes that 13 hour time difference KILLS ME!

Right now, I am praying for a restful night sleep for our friends. I pray that their nerves are calm, that they not think about anything other than being themselves, and showing the Judge what wonderful loving parents they are.

I am also praying for the Judge. That she be thinking about this case as she drifts off to sleep. I pray that God take control of her dreams, and that she wakes with a renewed outlook. That her day tomorrow be marked by difference, and a broken heart for American families, and the children that have been waiting for them.

It's time for prayer

As I write this, it is 10:30 a.m. in Irkutsk - Saturday morning. My friends are there, frantically preparing for their court hearing on Monday. I can only imagine what they are going through, what kind of roll-playing Q&A they've got on the agenda, the knots in their stomach.

But this post isn't going to be about my friends. Although my heart, thoughts and prayers are with them in a way bigger than my words can convey...this post is about the Judge.

Judge Stepanova. She is the one who will be hearing their case. She is of Mongolian / Russian decent (or so I've been told). I hear she is a single mother (not sure if that is true). I doubt she knows Jesus, and doubt that anyone has ever shared with her the love of Jesus Christ.

It's sad. So many lives hang in HER balance. HER rule and decision is one that is governed by what? I don't know. THAT is what scares me the most.

I am feeling an overwhelming need to pray for Judge Stepanova's heart and mind. My prayer is that as she goes into court on Monday, that she is awestruck at this family. At the light that comes from this couple, the child they have from Irkutsk, and the one they want to bring home. I pray that she grant this adoption in such an expedient manner, that no one in the room will be able to understand what happened.

I am on my knees in the hopes that she see in this American family a grace, a love, a determination, and a heart that she has not ever seen in a family in her court. That what she sees in this family will BREAK HER HEART for other American families waiting to be granted a hearing in her court room.

My hope is that at the end of this process, she will meet all of us - all of the American families who have been determined to bring our kids home. She will see in us one common thing, and that thing she will see - she won't be able to understand, but it will make her curious. That "thing" is Jesus. The 'thing' is, that we love HIM enough to love and pray for her. As hard as that is, and as much as I've fought that over the years...THAT is what THIS TIME is for.

please join with me...

What does your heart break for?

Something struck me tonight at church. Dr. Bob made a comment about your heart breaking, he said, "When has your heart broken for the hurting?". I thought that was a powerful statement!

He was making a point about passion. Having passion for something - praying passionately for something.

My heart breaks for Anya, for the orphans in Russia, for the children who are stuck in the political tug of war - between a life in an orphanage, and a life with a family who will love them.

My heart breaks when I think about:

• the children who don't understand unconditional love
• they've never prayed, and don't understand what it means to be prayed for
• who don't cry when they are hurt, because they know it will do no good
• orphans who have never known what is it like to have something of their very own
• these children who have lived in orphanages their whole lives - they've never heard silence, they've never been alone, they don't know with it is like to make choices
• they think that all homes are made up of caregivers and many children
• these kids have never seen food cooked - in a kitchen
• Anya and the other children in her group wash their own clothes - she is 6! Every night, she washed out her socks, underwear and clothing. She's done this for years!
• Anya wondering why Mama and Papa aren't coming for her. What does she think when she is told she will go home with us one day?
• What about the other children who are starved for attention? The ones with a physical disability - that will never be adopted...who are becoming merely a shell of a person.

My heart also breaks for the families we are waiting with. Over the years, we've all become pretty close. When something happens to one of us - it feels like it is happening to all of us. In the past few weeks, we've experienced the loss of a child to a Russian family, the possibility of cancer, surgeries, financial loss, job loss, battle of hardening hearts, overwhelming anxiety, questioning our decisions.

We are all Christian women.

Do I think this is a spiritual battle? YES! Do I think that it is going to get worse? ABSOLUTELY!

The last 5% of anything is the hardest. For years I've been saying that I am OK with that...but is this the lat 5%? I still don't know - but I do know as for me and my friends - we're being attacked. I feel like each one of us - some in subtle ways, others are fighting bigger things - are all being attacked.

Is it a coincidence that this is happening at the same time that our friends are in Irkutsk preparing for court?

...I don't believe in coincidence

Now is the time to pray. Now is the time to allow our hearts to break for our precious children. Now is the time to stand up and not allow the enemy to get control! Our children are too important!