Redeemed for Thanksgiving...gratitude in all things

Today, on Thanksgiving - I feel that we need to look deep into ourselves and find what we are truly Thankful for. Oh sure - we all say we're thankful for friends, family, a house, job - bla bla bla. But what about the struggles? The disappointments? The frustrations?

Today, I am choosing to be grateful for everything. I will rejoice with gratitude in the 4 1/2 year wait to bring Anya home. I know this situation will be redeemed, I know God has a plan - and it is so much bigger and greater than mine (praise God for that!!).

I know many of you are struggling with so many things - the wait to bring your children home, random adoption highs and lows, illness of family members, loss of jobs, changes in life's circumstances...this is why I decided to post this.

If you've followed my blog for any length of time - you know one of my favorite blogs is Bring The Rain - I can't even tell you how many times I've been brought to tears over Angie's words. She is an amazing writer and woman of God. If you've got some time - I encourage you to read Angie's blog from the beginning. Get a box of Kleenex - and know that I am just a Twitter away...because I KNOW you will want to talk about it with someone!

With her permission, I am posting a little something from Angie's blog. I invite you to settle in - and read her words...please leave a reply at the end. Let me know if you are going to take Angie up on her challenge...

Saying thank you to God in the midst of our circumstances is definitely different than saying thank you for them. And yet, scripture tells us to do both.

I have had a bad week. I have cried until my eyes were bloodshot and the sheets were soaked with grief. I pretty much told God that we would have to talk about it later. I stared at my Bible on my nightstand and then reached for the book next to it instead. I take a lot of opportunities on this blog to show you my adoration for the Lord. Every word I have written has come from my heart, and I love Him more than I could ever begin to describe.

Really. Truly.

But I didn't want to talk to Him this week.

As a sidebar, I am sure that the God of creation is getting a kick out of me actually writing out the fact that I was acting like a 5 year old.

In a sense, I feel like these words may cause some of you lose a little respect for me, because you may have an image of me, kneeling by candlelight with my Bible while my children sew doilies and laugh about the preposterous things that society is presenting on prime time television.

Actually, I do love candles, and Kate did tell a stranger that she can't watch Dancing With the Stars because "my mom said it is trashy and those ladies don't wear panties."

For the record, that is not exactly what I said.

But I do think they need to do a little more "ballroom" and a little less "half-naked gyrating." Until then, we are sticking to Shirley Temple.

So, I try. I really do.

I look for Him everywhere, in everything. I talk to Him like He's right next to me, and I feel more safe in the presence of God than I could describe in words.

But.

Thank Him for the death of my child?

That's hard.

Monday was particularly bad for me. It was raining here, and the world just felt all wrong. Todd suggested I go to the gym and get away for a little while, so I did. I had my music full-blast, which, as I soon discovered, does not prevent God from speaking. I was staring outside at the wet road, running away from Him, content to keep up the pace.

I started thinking about what Greg had written, and I imagined how beautiful it would be for me to have the kind of faith that thanks God for death. I admire those
who can do it. I want to be a woman like that, who is so fixed on eternity that this world never shakes her. I told myself that if I could just get the words out, He would transform my heart to believe that I meant them.

Lord, thank you for...

I couldn't finish the sentence. I started crying and running faster. I put on a song I love about what the crucified life looks like and I tried again.

Lord, thank you for...

Nope.

I closed my eyes and just listened to the words, and after a few minutes I felt myself start to long for Him the way I haven't in the last week.

***keepin' it real detail- at one point I was so lost in worship that I raised my hand up off the elliptical machine handle, lost my balance, and almost fell off...***

I had a good talk with God (starting with, "Hey, God, that was awesome how You didn't let me wipe out in front of a room full of people."). At one point, I told Him I didn't understand how in the world I could thank Him for the death of my daughter. I told Him (I'm just being honest here) that I didn't think I could ever say those words.

How sweet and reverent of me.

Maybe I should post a doily pattern instead.

But as my Bible study leader Ms. Nancy says, "He loves you right where you are, but He loves you too much to leave you there." The beautiful thing about our Lord is
that He doesn't mind our questioning, as long as we do it with hearts that are sincere in longing for truth. I want to be right with God. I want desperately to bring Him glory. But sometimes, I just have to shake my head and say, "I don't get it, Lord. I don't know that I have it in me this time..."

Later that night I took Ellie and Abby to run errands with me, and on the way home we stopped by this new Thai restaurant to get some take-out. While we were waiting, we found a little table in the corner and started talking about how the day had been. I told them I missed Audrey, and as soon as I said it, I remembered something that Ellie had said in prayer.

"Ellie, you know how sometimes I ask you to tell God something that you are thankful for?"

She nodded.

"And you know how sometimes you say that you are thankful that God took Audrey away?"

She nodded again.

"Why do you say that, honey?" My voice cracked. She looked at me like she didn't
understand why I was so confused.

"Because she's in heaven, momma. And she is so happy. So we say 'thank you. And we will see her again.'"

"So no matter what, Ellie, you can say thank you? Even if you don't like it?"

"Yeah."

"So would you say 'thank you' if someone stole your bike?" I studied her face.

"No."

"Well then, what would you say?"

"I would say 'would you please give my bike back?'"

I laughed out loud.

Because it made sense to me. I am just human, and you know what? It isn't going to be tied up in a neat bow. I can say all the fancy, pretty words that come to mind, and at the end of the day, sometimes I just want my bike back.

Maybe you do too.

We all want to feel like our hurts have been redeemed, don't we? If we could just see the big picture, and all of the things that God sees, maybe it would be easier to thank Him for the things we shake our fists at. The things that cannot be fully redeemed in this life.

For those of you who have read my blog for awhile, I won't have to explain this photo. A few weeks ago, I heard Abby yelling, "I figured it out, mommy!!!! Come see!!! Now it's going to be so great!!!" I started walking toward her room, and this is what I saw.

We want to fix it in this life, don't we?

And it hurts so much that we can't.

It will be redeemed, friends.

Maybe not here, and maybe not soon, but it will be redeemed.

So, in the meantime and in the midst of great disappointment, may we keep our eyes on He Who knows what we do not.

I am going to give you a Thanksgiving challenge, and I want you to know that I will be taking part in it as well. Sometime today, I want you to find a quiet moment in your day to sit in the presence of the Lord. Write down one thing that you are thankful for.

And here's the catch.

It has to be something you don't feel thankful for. It may be something you are carrying with you everyday, and haven't found a way to let go of. A divorce, a death, a loss, a deep wound, a regret you can't shake.

I want you to write the words. "I am thankful that..."

You might not feel like you mean them yet.

That's okay.

Tuck the paper away in a book, put it on your nightstand, throw it in the trash if you must, but write the words. There is astounding beauty in obedience-the act of trusting the Lord with the parts of life you want to cling to the most. I am praying that the Lord will take this seed, this offering, this piece of crumpled paper, this giving of thanks, and He will begin to grow a tree of beauty in our souls.

I am praying for you all. May we all remember this Thanksgiving as the one where we learned what it looks like to start thanking God for it all.

Happy Thanksgiving, Sundays.
Go make it a good one.
Angie

WHy doesn't anyone RSVP anymore?

Why Doesn’t Anyone RSVP Anymore?

Even USA Today touts, “It’s rude not to RSVP; Casual attitude is driving hosts crazy” (June 17, 2002).

I recently attended a party hosted by an old friend. She sent out over 60 invitations, and had about 20 people say they were going to attend (typical - count on 1/3 of your invitation list to show up). But what about the other 40+ people? Why didn’t she hear from them? The RSVP was clearly stated on the invitation.

To read the rest of the story, visit HERE

for today...

I wish I could figure out how to make a link here...anyone know?

I read this on another blog that I frequent called 'bring the rain' (link is in the side bar titled Audrey Caroline). If you haven't been there, and need to be encouraged (or not), check it out. DAILY I read something that Angie (yes, I feel like I am BFFs with the author) said that makes me say WOW!

Through my Bible Study group, I've been trying to find ways to get closer to God. Closeness will allow me to listen and hear His Will better...today, here is what I read on Angie's blog:

I stay close to God by spending time in His Word. It looks small on
paper, I know, but that’s the only way you can consistently walk with Him.
When I’m not reading my Bible faithfully, I feel like the distance creeps up.

“The Lord your God is with you, He is mighty to save.
He will take great delight in you, He will quiet you with his love, He will rejoice over you with singing.”
Zephaniah 3:17

Seems so simple - but it is just what I needed to hear (or read)!

Have you ever...

Have you ever had one of those times when you offer someone a discount, and they don't think it's enough of a discount; tell someone you are thankful to be paid for work done, and then feel like you have to fight to actually get the check; offer to pay for something to help a cause, and be told your donation wasn't significant enough; done something nice for someone annomously, and then heard they thought it was a stupid gesture; been in traffic - stuck in the wrong lane, and no-one will let you in; agreed to do a job no one else wanted to do, and then get grief for it; offered to help someone, and be told your help isn't the kind they need.

I am always grateful. Grateful for life, love, work, friends, family. I can't even imagine not being grateful...so those who aren't shock me, and 9 times out of 10 - they ruin my day.

It is so easy to get a bad attitude. I understand that people who are generally miserable can not be made happy by anything I do for them or to help them.

This all got me to thinking about Jesus. And what he must have felt like when he was trying to help people, and they wouldn't take his help. He tried to save people from themselves, only to be laughed at.

So I will continue to do the right thing...be grateful and gracious even to those who I want to smack. I will be careful about who I do business with, and who I hold as a close friend.

I sleep very well at night...I wonder if they do too.

the grass is greeener

I read on someones blog recently something that made me think...

We always think that the Grass is greener on the other side of the fence. Sometimes we don't realize that green grass requires a lot of rain.

thoughts to blog about

It's funny - every day I think of things to blog about - but then when I get home, I always forget what I was going to say.

Today is a good example - I drug my hubby to the mall - and I HATE the mall (which you wouldn't think, given that I am a professional shopper - seriously - that is my job...) - anyway - we're at the mall, and I think of all the reasons I hate the mall - and think I should share my wisdom with the masses via blog. Truth is, I have very little (or no) tolerance for stupidity or poor customer service. I know - many of you are laughing hysterically now - because in many situations the very definition of the mall is mass stupidity and poor customer service.

Then we go to eat. Went to one of my fav places - Uptown Kitchen. Love that place. Great service (since that is one of my hot buttons) - they seem to recognize me when I walk in (although I know they have no clue who I am, I like the feeling that they remember that I was there before). No stupid people there at all...love it. Good food, good tea...

Then to church - isn't it odd how when you are going through something, you relate everything to YOUR situation - and it's hard to just sit back and take in a message. Does that make us narcissistic?

Got home, and started loading music on my IPod. My plan was to organize songs that I am going to use for 2 HUGE fashion shows I'm producing this week. But - then I get side tracked...and 20 or 30 CDs later - here I sit, singing my heart out to Faith Hill. Have you heard the song "There Will Come A Day"? It's on the 'Breathe' album. That song gets me...and I think Angie H from church should sing it :) - anyway, I know that a lot of pre-adoptive-parents read this blog. I just want to encourage you with this - THERE WILL COME A DAY.

THERE WILL COME A DAY

It's not easy trying to understand
How the world can be so cold, stealing the souls of man
Cloudy skies rain down on all your dreams
You wrestle with the fear and doubt
Sometimes it's hard but you gotta believe

Chorus:
There's a better place, where our Father waits
And every tear He'll wipe away
The darkness will be gone,the weak shall be strong
Hold on to your faith

There will come a day, there will come a day
Wars are raging, lives are scattered
Innocence is lost, and hopes are shattered
The old are forgotten, the children are forsaken
In this world we're living in
Is there anything sacred?

There will come a day, there will come a day
The song will ring out, down those golden streets
The voices of earth with the angels will sing {HALLELUJAH!]
Every knee will bow, sin will have no trace
In the glory of His amazing grace
Every knee will bow, sin will have no trace
In the glory of His amazing grace
There will come a day, there will come a day
Oooh there will come a day
I know there's coming a day, coming a day

fall out and need for prayer

Since the most recent tragedy of another Russian child - rumors have surfaced of some regions in Russia stopping adoptions. Funny how these things start - apparently there are up to 9 regions in Russia who are going to stop adoptions until the outcome of this latest murder comes to light.

Amazing...

This news comes on the heels of news that the MOE (Ministry of Education - the government body that oversees orphanages and adoptions in Russia) is once again trying to outlaw independent adoption. Their definition of 'independent' is any foreigner adopting in Russia who isn't using a Russian certified agency. In a press release from the MOE, it states,

"For a more thorough screening of prospective parents and in-depth training of foreign nationals to receive a child in their family, the MinEdSci bill proposes to establish a mandatory psychological examination and passing a specific training program for the admission of a child in foster families."

Who knows what this would include.

I the past week, I've taken a serious look at myself, and my energy level to bring Anya home. My commitment has not changed; but if I am honest, my energy has diminished over the past few months. I have been praying for her, as I always do…but I wonder if my prayers are void of the energy needed.

So, what to do…

I am AGAIN asking for anyone reading this blog to ban with us in prayer. I am asking for you to pass the word on your blogs, chat rooms - anywhere you visit online with those who pray. We are asking specifically for united prayer and/or fasting every Friday. Prayers for the adoption situation in Russia, for all the orphans in that country, and for the families who have adopted and who are adopting children from Russia.

Are you in? Will you ban with us in this prayer?

Telling Everyone

This weekend in church, our pastor talked about ‘telling everyone’ you know. I started remembering back when I first became a Christian, and how I told everyone I knew – then about how when we were first starting down this adoption path – and how I told everyone I knew.

Why did I stop telling everyone? My enthusiasm and passion for both of these things hasn’t diminished. Puzzling.

So, I’ve been thinking about that, why did I stop telling everyone? It was true that many times when I would share my Faith, people would listen, and ask a lot of questions. My favorite comment was, “wow, you are so normal for a Christian”…whatever THAT means .

Likewise, when I would talk about our adoption journey, I would share some of our struggle, and people are interested. People have even told me they are encouraged by our tenacity and Faith.

So – why have I stopped talking about it? In the past, you couldn’t know my name was Kathy without knowing that I go to GCC (our church), I am a Christian, my Faith is important to me…and that we are adopting a little girl from Russia.

I think I stopped because of a few things. First, I got busy – my mind got busy and cluttered with my to-do list, and my goals have been all about getting things out of my in-box. I also think I got to the point that I thought I was bugging people. I didn’t want to ‘bore’ people with those details of my personal life.

But – the facts remain. My Faith and the fact that we are adopting Anya define who I am as a person.


So – I am going to start talking about it again. I guess – this is a fair warning!

Need an Oprah Hook Up

I was surfing the net today, and went to www.Oprah.com. There is a section on the 'be on the show' part of the website that used to have a show topic called "do you need an Oprah hook up?". It's too bad that topic idea is gone...because I do!

I can't help but to believe that getting Anya home is going to be because of someone we know (who knows someone). I have had this feeling for a LONG time. If you do any research on Russian business culture, you will quickly learn that most business agreements happen on relationship. Well - we need to find that relationship connection to Judge Stepanova! and/or to the Supreme Court in Russia.

Maybe you know someone who is connected with someone powerful. Oprah knows everyone. I also know that Martha Stewart has Russian connections.

OK, so maybe I am thinking out of the box - but hey, it can't hurt!

in search of a stone

I was driving home last night from work listening to the radio and thinking. Seems the only time I have to sit and think is when I am driving.

I have been feeling that I am coming to the end of my resources. I am hitting walls that I KNOW I can overcome, but I can't find a solution to the problem. We're not seeing steps backward with the adoption - just feels like running a sprint - in place...over and over again, nonstop, for years on end.

Apparently there isn't enough to take our case to the Supreme Court. The Judge in Irkutsk hasn't 'denied' our case (i.e she hasn't said no) - and I guess until she says no, we can't take it to the Supreme Court. I guess there are more documents the Judge has asked of our lawyer - but of course, I have no idea what those documents are. SO FRUSTRATING! And - in the process of all the dilly-dallying, many of or documents have expired. What documents you ask? Good question - I have no idea (probably criminal checks, but a list of what we need to redo has not been provided).

There is also a rumor that the Judge won't accept the accreditation of this one agency who has federal accreditation in Russia (who works in Irkutsk). The documents they needed to file in the region were to be filed the first part of January. Well, we're looking at March 1 - and the documents are still not filed. Grrrrrr. We are traveling the first part of March, and will be in the neighborhood of the corporate office for this agency. My plan is to set an appointment with them. We'll see.

So, I'm driving home late last night. - and a song came on that I have heard a thousand times before (Voice of Truth by Casting Crowns). But for some reason, there were parts of the lyrics I had never heard before. This is what I heard loud and clear (and if you've heard this song, you know that picking out words is a little tricky):

The kind of strength it takes to stand before a giant
With just a sling and a stone
Surrounded by the sound of a thousand warriors
Shaking in their armor
Wishing they'd have had the strength to stand

But the giant's calling out my name
And he laughs at me
Reminding me of all the times
I've tried before and failed
The giant keeps on telling me
Time and time again. "Boy you'll never win!"
"You'll never win!"

But the stone was just the right size
To put the giant on the ground
And the waves they don't seem so high
From on top of them lookin' down
I will soar with the wings of eagles
When I stop and listen to the sound of Jesus
Singing over me

I will choose to listen and believe the voice of truth

Well, that's me. Standing before this giant with nothing. I got nothing - no rights, no tricks up my sleeve, no miracles. All I have is Faith. This one thing that makes most people think I am nuts. Makes the people in Russia wonder about me.

Somewhere there is a stone (or document or person or something) that is JUST THE RIGHT SIZE to defeat this giant.

If you happen to find a stone that is just the right size, let me know!

I Surrender All

To know me is to know a few truths. I love shoes. I love clothes. I love Oprah. Although I don't have a subscription to O Magazine, each month, I read parts of the online version. My favorite thing is reading Oprah's words.

In the Feb edition - she talks about real love. How you are loved through hard times. Pretty good stuff.

So, after reading this - you will understand the title to this post. And - to all you PAPs out there (pre adoptive parents) - SURRENDER ALL. "You don't have to carry the load [of adoption] all by yourself. You can surrender all."

http://www.oprah.com/omagazine/200802/omag_200802_landing.jhtml
...from Oprah

I've gotten a new taste of what love is the past few months while trying to right the wrongs at my school in South Africa. A dormitory matron was accused of sexual and physical abuse at the Oprah Winfrey Leadership Academy for Girls. Recognizing how emotionally draining this time has been for me, people reached out with their encouragement. People I knew well and many I had never met built a bridge of support allowing me to laser-focus on doing what was necessary, moment by moment, to help each girl.

Yes, I was devastated—devastated times 150 trusting hearts. I couldn't stop thinking about the girls, every single one of them—remembering when I first interviewed them to come to the school, and their high hopes and happy smiles the day they were accepted. So many of them had already had such difficult lives: poverty, death, violence, grief. I wanted their lives at the school to be not just better but easier and free from all harm.

So that dream was temporarily thwarted.

But I can say today (as I write this, I'm on a plane to Africa once again) that the sweeping changes instituted since the report of abuse have put us on the path to a more stable and secure future than we had before. The crisis has forced the school's staff, administrators, teachers, students—and everyone associated with their well-being—to create a more open and collaborative environment. So the new birthing I spoke of in last month's column has begun.

Throughout this process, I've been sustained by my abiding faith in a power greater than my own. I've recognized in every dark moment that this too shall pass. That's the mantra that's kept me going from the moment I received the first phone call of suspected abuse.

After many days of constant conversations and working through a multitude of concerns, I was worn out, but my spirit's never faltered. I've remained encouraged by the grace and love of friends who've e-mailed, written, or called. So many people asked, "Is there anything I can do to help?"—not knowing that they already had, just by asking. Gayle was as exhausted as I but still attended every meeting with police, and parents. Maria Shriver left daily messages reminding me to hold firm to my intentions in building the school.

Every note or message felt like an embrace, like the greatest valentine anyone could receive. None came with frills or fancy bows—just its own heart-spoken truth. This last line in a handwritten letter from Sidney Poitier spoke volumes: "The universe and all your friends have your back."

To know that people care about how you're doing when the doings aren't so good—that's what love is. I feel blessed to know this for sure.

One day while I was doing the show, my friend BeBe Winans appeared in the audience. "BeBe, why are you here?" I asked during a commercial break. "No one told me you were coming!"

"I just came to see you, see how you were doing," he said. That's strange, I thought, but continued with the show. Afterward he followed me to my office and said, "There's something I came to tell you." And as I sat behind my desk, he started singing what he knows is my favorite spiritual: "I surrender all. I surrender all. All to thee, my blessed Savior, I surrender all."

I sat silently, closed my eyes, and opened myself to accepting his magnificent and humble offering, this gift of love and song. When he finished, I felt a release of all pressure to do anything. I was content to just be. And for the first time in weeks, I experienced pure peace.

When I opened my eyes and wiped away the tears, BeBe was beaming. He started laughing his huh, huh, huuuagh laugh, and gave me a big hug. "Girl," he said, "I just came to remind you, you don't have to carry this load all by yourself. You can surrender all."

And in that moment I did.

Listen to I Surrender All Here http://www.oprah.com/omagazine/200802/audioplayer/mission_player_180x200.html

one of those days

Ever have one of those days?

Well, today was that day for me. Thought it was going to be a great day - had an appointment this morning - went well...then it all fell apart.

In a nutshell, I had to fire someone (who should be on meds), got in a very minor car accident, found out that one of the pre-adoptive parents I have been waiting with is in Moscow waiting to come home with her bundle of joy (not from Irkutsk...and I am VERY happy for her - just stings a little for some reason, and I am embarrassed to even admit that!), am so sore from the gym yesterday that I can't move (I was trying to be someone I obviously am not), realized I have a butt load of laundry to do - and can't foresee a time to get it done, and think I have a big zit coming on my forehead. Great. Perfect ending to a crappy day.

I know that makes me sound like I am complaining - and I am not. Just a trying day that I am glad is over.

So - instead of TGIF, for me it will be TGISaturday!

Happy Holidays!

Just wanted to wish everyone a belated Merry Christmas - and a Happy and Healthy New Year!

This is our tree...and yes, that is Jazz (our cat) who has to get in on the photo!

I will never be the same again

I will never be the same.

There are a few times in my life where I can mark in a calendar and say – the day before this event, I was different. Since this event, I am changed. Those life changes are what make me…ME. The good, bad and ugly :)

I think if we all think back over our lives, there are marked times when our perspective changes forever. When we are children, maybe it was when we found out that Santa Clause is really a man in costume, or when we finally ‘hit the ball out of the park’. Death of family members, divorce, seeing our parents for who they are as people, meeting our spouse – those are times when our lives change.

When I met my husband – my life changed.

When I learned the true meaning of Christmas – and saw Jesus’ life as a history lesson rather than a fable – my attitude changed.

When we decided to adopt – my perspective changed.

When I met Anya – who I am changed...my heart was different. The moment that little blonde haired, green eyes little girl walked into the room...I was different.

Changing my idea of who I am wasn’t hard when I became Marty’s wife. I guess on some level, I always felt like I was his wife…it just took a while to make it “official” (haha).

The definition of who I am changed when I decided to give my life to Christ. I didn’t change my personality, my friends, or what I liked to do…but it changed my thought process like nothing else I can imagine. It changed my motives for doing things. In some ways – it changed me for the better…but in other ways, I didn’t change at all. I was still me – just a better me. Some people would challenge that I changed a lot during this time...I maintain that I haven't changed...just different.

Then, when I met Anya – suddenly, in an instant – I became someone’s Mama. That is so much different than any other definition I had ever given to myself. I feel a level of responsibility in being a wife, in being a friend, daughter, sister, etc., - but the responsibility of being a Mom is huge.

Part of that responsibility is to protect her. To fight for her. To not give up on her. Since that day in 2004, a day hasn’t gone by that I haven’t thought about her, wondered what she is doing – or tried to come up with a new creative way to get her home. Everything I do is motivated by her. In my work; I am motivated to be the best I can be...because I am Anya's Mommy. I don't want to jeopardize our resources; because I am Anya's Mommy.

Now - when I look in the mirror - I don't see Fran's daughter, Dan's sister, Marty's wife, a fashion/style expert...I see Anya's Mommy.

It's different now. And, it will never be the same.

I will never be the same – and I Thank God for that...for Anya!

Blog Tagging

I have a friend, Brenda, with a great Blog. She "tags" people all the time on her blog to post facts, play games, post jokes etc...she always seems to tag me! Or maybe she knows more than one Kathy - and I am just being narcissistic?

Anyway, the latest tag is 8 random facts. Since there are so many people who read this who don't really know me - I thought this might be a fun one.

1. I've had 5 last names in my life...but have only been married one other time.

2. The shoe/clothes thing isn't new, I have seriously ALWAYS been this way.

3. My grandpa probably had the biggest impact on my life.

4. I am scared of ducks (long story...goes back to a bad date in college)

5. I like to be silly - and am uncomfortable being too serious

6. I started dating my wonderful husband before I was 30 (ya, I was a kid!)- and didn't know how old he was until we had dated for over a month.

7. My biggest pet peeve is not being understood

8. Anya's name is a family name...my middle name is Ann (i.e. Russian Anna - Anya) - Anna is also Marty's grandmother's name...Anya's middle name is Helene...or Helen. Helen is the name of my grandmother, and of the director (or the Children's Home where she is) who is protecting her.


The deal with tagging is that I post this on my blog...and then tag people to post this on their blogs. Well - I know all of you out there well enough to know that you won't...so, I will tag whoever reads this, and is brave enough to post a comment to this thread!

Press On

I talked to a friend tonight who is going through some stuff. As I was talking with her on the phone, I was trying so hard to come up with the right words to comfort her. Nothing was coming to my mind. I wanted to tell her that God would never give her more than she could handle...that she knows the Truth...that the worst is behind her...that I loved her, and would do whatever I could to help her through this.

And no words came to me.

Tonight when I got home, I wrote her a note. The song 'Press On' was ringing in my head so loud - I felt like I needed to turn down the stereo! So, I sent her the lyrics to this song. The words are something I've clung to so many times.

Press On (3:56)
(Dan Burgess)

When the valley is deep
When the mountain is steep
When the body is weary
When we stumble and fall

When the choices are hard
When we're battered and scarred
When we've spent our resources
When we've given our all

Chorus:
In Jesus' name, we press on
In Jesus' name, we press on
Dear Lord, with the prize
Clear before our eyes
We find the strength to press on

In Jesus' name, we press on
In Jesus' name, we press on
Dear Lord, with the prize
Clear before our eyes
We find the strength to press on
To press on

©1983 Belwin-Mills Publishing, Inc. (ASCAP) All rights admin. by Warner Bros. Publications, Inc. (ASCAP) All Rights Reserved. Used By Permission.

10 things that make you smile

My friend Brenda "tagged" me on her blog tonight. She posted 10 things that makes her smile, and asked 3 people to post what makes them smile.

What a perfect thing to have me think about today! I've had a particularly crappy (is that politically correct?) day. Ever had one of those days when everyone you have to deal with gets on your last nerve? Ugh!

OK, focus on good things…

1. Knowing there is a God, the He loves me no matter what! (even when I have days like today)

2. My husband…he’s a good one! God has truly blessed me with a good man!

3. Our little Anya…only God could have perfected a union like the one we have with that little one! It still amazes me how much she looks like us and acts like us…and I didn’t birth her – and she is still living in the orphanage! Her laugh, her smile, the way she mimicks everything I do. Pretty much everything about her makes me smile.

4. Good friends – who will listen to you gripe and feel your pain, and love you anyway (and then probably pray for you!). Ya know, those pals who you can call or email from Russia when you're in a panic, and they will answer the phone or email? ...unless then went to bed early? (ha ha, had to get that one in there Kath!)

5. I love the worship band at church, I love the worship music my hubby has made…but ya know, Bon Jovi REALLY makes me smile :) (or maybe it's just John BonJovi?)

6. Great shoes – ok, seriously – I love shoes. I think it is a sickness. Better than therapy, healthier than mood-altering drugs or food. ...so I guess my awesome job should make me smile too - so I can buy great shoes! (seriously, I do love my job!)

7. Fall – I love this time of the year – when the air is cool, and the sun is warm (but not as warm as it was today…93 the end of September is nutty!)

8. Relaxing in the pool with my hubby – the only time we’re not working it seems…our cheap little above ground pool is the best investment we’ve ever made!

9. Laughing and being silly…I don’t take myself too seriously, so I love being around other people who don’t either. LIfe is too short to be constantly wondering what other people's motives are, and wondering if they think you're an idiot.

10. The amazing things that God is doing – things I don’t even know about and can’t see…I guess the ‘end of the story’. That makes me smile with tears in my eyes.

Now, I would like to hear from you!! What makes you smile?

We heard from our friend in Moscow!

I think all of Russia has been on vacation the past few weeks. We've been trying to get in touch with our friend in Moscow and in Irkutsk - and haven't been able to get in touch with anyone.

FINALLY today, we heard from our friend in Moscow - and he is going to be able to help us with some things we need done there on our trip. I hope this is a good sign - and we hear from everyone else soon!

document are in Irkutsk!

I think it is a miracle! Our documents have arrived in Irkutsk! This is the shortest time in transit for anything we've ever sent over there...and we always send things the same way.

8/11/2007 9:55 am Arrived at DHL facility. Irkutsk, Russian Federation, The

It looks like the Adoption Center will receive our documents on Monday. The last time we sent our documents, they got hung up in customs in Belgium. I know - makes no sense! This time - everything happened perfectly!

Thanks for praying!

stop the insanity!

I just don't understand why every time we plan a trip to Russia - random stuff starts to happen. I'm not kidding - this will be our 4th trip to Siberia, and I hve NEVER had so much random crap happen (that's right, I said crap!).

In the past week alone, our dishwasher broke, the over broke, a CD got stuck in the change in my car (which means a trip to the garage), Marty's Mom had surgery, my laptop battery died, Marty's big studio computer's hard drive pooped out - not to mention the typical stresses that come with a trip to Russia (finances, business issues, paperwork stuff).

I need a day off!