the thing about Father's Day

I didn't grow up with a Dad.  Oh sure, there were people in my life that stepped into that role, but they were not MY Dad.  My step-father (the dentist) was a part of my world for most of my upbringing. I was always keenly aware that I was NOT his daughter. Which was fine with me. My grandfather was the closest thing I had to a 'Dad'.  He taught me valuable life lessons, protected me from myself and I was confident in his unconditional love for me.  I was definitely Grampa's girl.  

As I became an adult I found it a little awkward to know what to do when Father's Day rolled around.  And thanks to Facebook, all of the "dad and me" pics and tributes remind me I don't have any photos or a nice story to tell. But its OK.  I don't believe our upbringing or circumstances create the adult we become.  I do not think it is OK to use our past as an excuse to act in a cruel or pathetic way, to whine or complain about our current lives or treat others badly. It is what it is!

...and it's ALL OK.

Like with everything in life, our experiences and circumstance bring us to where we are today. And for our family, it is a good place. We will always be working through things, and dealing with 'junk from the past', but it's OK. We learn from the junk and move on.

A few  years ago, moving on meant moving forward as a single Mom, which was not my plan. Finding the right guy to lead my family, to be a good Dad to my little one, and a perfect partner for me was a tall order. I've made mistakes, and I wasn't going to make one again.  I have been told that I am "a lot". And that is OK. It's OK because my long list of what that guy looks like, acts like, what kind of family he comes from and how he treats people ended up  being a description of a person rather than a list.


Happy Father's Day to the guy who is "my list".  The one who loves my little one as his own, who celebrates all the unique things that make her who she is. For fiercely protecting her, for giving her a safe place to be and providing for her in a way I never could. And for loving us both in a way we never thought possible.