I got a note from Russia today, and unfortunately, we missed getting our documents to the Judge before her August vacation. The Judge returns from vacation on Sep. the 4th. The attorney will meet with her right after the judge is back at her office.
-Kathy
Sunday, July 30, 2006
Friday, July 28, 2006
...update
Several of you have sent me notes looking for an update. As par for us, I've been working on document after document after document. I screwed up the POA (power of attorney), so had to redo that...and we needed to get a letter from the Judge here in our town. Although we were able to get that with no real problems, it was a test for my patience! Here is what I have learned:
1. When working with any legal system, here or in Russia, NOTHING happens fast
2. If you want something done right, you HAVE GOT to do it yourself!
3. There is a lot to be said for retail therapy!
I have been notably tired...tired of everything, the paperwork, the waiting. For the past 2 years, we've been pouring everything we have into this - all of our energy, time, mental focus, money, EVERYTHING...and we have nothing to show for it. As odd as that sounds - those of you who are adoptive moms and dads understand. The process is sucking the life out of me! I am grateful to have been able to take on a second job not only for the income, but also for the redirection it has allowed my brain. I am a sales rep for a designer who has a private label line of women's clothing. Ya, I know, right up my alley! This has been such a God-send into my life, I can't even tell you. It forces me to NOT sit on the computer, NOT stay home, get out, dress up and be my usual somewhat charming/funny self.
Anyway, than you all for your continued prayers – I know that the process wears on you all too. Blessings to you all!
-Kathy
1. When working with any legal system, here or in Russia, NOTHING happens fast
2. If you want something done right, you HAVE GOT to do it yourself!
3. There is a lot to be said for retail therapy!
I have been notably tired...tired of everything, the paperwork, the waiting. For the past 2 years, we've been pouring everything we have into this - all of our energy, time, mental focus, money, EVERYTHING...and we have nothing to show for it. As odd as that sounds - those of you who are adoptive moms and dads understand. The process is sucking the life out of me! I am grateful to have been able to take on a second job not only for the income, but also for the redirection it has allowed my brain. I am a sales rep for a designer who has a private label line of women's clothing. Ya, I know, right up my alley! This has been such a God-send into my life, I can't even tell you. It forces me to NOT sit on the computer, NOT stay home, get out, dress up and be my usual somewhat charming/funny self.
Anyway, than you all for your continued prayers – I know that the process wears on you all too. Blessings to you all!
-Kathy
...on adoption
Hello All,
I got an email today from one of my friends, Tammie, who is an adoptive-mom - her little one is from Irkutsk (one of the reasons we went down this path). She forwarded this to me – it is something that was posted on an adoptive-mom’s blog. I know those of you on this list who are adoptive-moms can relate! Some of this hit a little too close to home for me today, but I thought it was good enough to pass along to all of you.
-Kathy
…on adoption – the process
> I started to think about what I am missing in life.
> Well my family, my friends, my reliability, my money and most of all my sanity. Of course that isn't to say I actually had money or sanity to begin with. To my family and friends... well sorry about that. I will try to pull my Head out of my butt soon enough.
> With all the obvious answers surrounding what I am missing I also started to think about what types of things you miss out on when you choose to adopt instead of get pregnant. Not that I had a choice between the two. Needless to say there are quite a few things that women who become mothers through adoption miss out on.
> We miss out on the glow. That sickening beautiful glow that pregnant women seem to emanate. We miss out on the "oohs" and "ahhs." The "oh look how cute you are" comments. But of course I have mentioned this all before. We also miss out on the pampering.
> It seems to me that pregnant women often get pampered. They get the parking spaces close to the door at the supermarket. People offer their seats on the subway or bus. I have watched husbands rub swollen feet.
> For pre-adoptive moms we lack the physical signs of impending motherhood. Our bellies don't grow, or if they do it isn't something growing in them. It is caused by a serious case of stress eating. Our glows don't come naturally. They are induced by rage at hearing yet another girlfriend is pregnant. Or more likely by an alcoholic libation or two. Three buck chuck has become one of my best friends.
>
> So to help rectify the situation I thought I would offer a few suggestions on how you as a friend, sister, brother, spouse, parent or anyone else suffering with dealing with supporting a pre-adoptive mom.
>
> 1. We like attention. For the outsider the allure of adoption wears off after the first few months. The mom deals with it every day. Don't ask, "any news yet?" Rather ask, "have you given any thought on what you are going to name the baby/ child" or "have you started working on your child's room yet? What color are you going to paint it?" Ask questions about her or her child, not the process of getting the child. If you must ask about the adoption process ask specific questions like, "tell me what the next step in the process is." And be genuine about it. Don't ask just to be nice.
>
> 2. Compliment us. Adoption does things to your mind, body and spirit. Some are stress eaters, some are stress not-eaters (me). We suffer from premature "mommy brain" or our brain cells have slowly died off
> due to excessive paperwork. We can look pale and tired. Please don't point out our faults. Please don't tell us it looks like we've put on a little weight or that we look obviously pale. Come up with something nice to say. Tell her you like her shoes or handbag. Compliment her writing style (thanks!) Tell her that seeing her makes you feel better.
>
> 3. Pamper us. Most of the pre-adoptive moms I know suffer from Email Checking Disorder (ECD) or Compulsive Message Board Reading Syndrome(CMBRS.) These are isolating and debilitating illnesses.
> These women are in serious need of some time away from their computers. They can think-type faster than they can re-type a letter. They are in dire need of some human contact. The best way to aid this is by taking her out of the house. Offer to take the pre-adoptive mom out to lunch. Offer coffee or out for drinks. Somehow force her to pry herself away from the computer for just an hour. You may have to endure a lunch date full of adoption related conversation, but the live human contact will make her feel good.
>
> 4. Make us feel special. Throw her an adoption shower. I hesitate to say baby shower since some people don't adopt babies. Make it a women's event. Not one of those crappy couple's shower where the men don't want to be there anyway. This activity is especially important for the woman becoming a mom for the first time, and especially one that has gone through the rigors of infertility testing and treatment. We want to be the center of attention. We want to feel special and want to know that you care. And who cares if someone else has already thrown a shower...what's more fun that 2 or 3 parties? We want you to ooh and ahh over our cute stuff. We want it to be all about us for a moment and not about the adoption.
>
> 5. Surprise us. Personally I like surprises. Part of my ECD is the fact that, to me, emails are little surprises. It makes me feel good to know that someone is actually thinking of me. This is to say that I especially appreciate personal emails. Just a note to say "Hi, I was thinking about you today." E-cards work too. Even better than emails are notes or cards in the mailbox. That is that thing out on the curb or attached to your house. A mysterious person puts little pieces of paper in there (usually bills, occasionally a very important federal document) and for some reason this makes me giddy like a school girl. I love holidays and especially my birthday (which is in 2 days.) Important events mean greeting cards. Treasures that people have picked out to show you they were thinking of you. And if you want to go above and beyond the call of duty have something shipped. Care packages, a box of flowers, or anything that comes in something larger than an envelope. These are true little gems of happiness.
>
> So the bottom line is for those of you on the sidelines: go out of your way to make these moms feel important. We have been through too much. This isn't to say that you should do this on a daily basis (although that will win you serious brownie points) but every so often. Think about us. We'd appreciate that.
> Written at 7:24 PM by Elle.
I got an email today from one of my friends, Tammie, who is an adoptive-mom - her little one is from Irkutsk (one of the reasons we went down this path). She forwarded this to me – it is something that was posted on an adoptive-mom’s blog. I know those of you on this list who are adoptive-moms can relate! Some of this hit a little too close to home for me today, but I thought it was good enough to pass along to all of you.
-Kathy
p.s. I love the part about $3 buck Chuck!
…on adoption – the process
> I started to think about what I am missing in life.
> Well my family, my friends, my reliability, my money and most of all my sanity. Of course that isn't to say I actually had money or sanity to begin with. To my family and friends... well sorry about that. I will try to pull my Head out of my butt soon enough.
> With all the obvious answers surrounding what I am missing I also started to think about what types of things you miss out on when you choose to adopt instead of get pregnant. Not that I had a choice between the two. Needless to say there are quite a few things that women who become mothers through adoption miss out on.
> We miss out on the glow. That sickening beautiful glow that pregnant women seem to emanate. We miss out on the "oohs" and "ahhs." The "oh look how cute you are" comments. But of course I have mentioned this all before. We also miss out on the pampering.
> It seems to me that pregnant women often get pampered. They get the parking spaces close to the door at the supermarket. People offer their seats on the subway or bus. I have watched husbands rub swollen feet.
> For pre-adoptive moms we lack the physical signs of impending motherhood. Our bellies don't grow, or if they do it isn't something growing in them. It is caused by a serious case of stress eating. Our glows don't come naturally. They are induced by rage at hearing yet another girlfriend is pregnant. Or more likely by an alcoholic libation or two. Three buck chuck has become one of my best friends.
>
> So to help rectify the situation I thought I would offer a few suggestions on how you as a friend, sister, brother, spouse, parent or anyone else suffering with dealing with supporting a pre-adoptive mom.
>
> 1. We like attention. For the outsider the allure of adoption wears off after the first few months. The mom deals with it every day. Don't ask, "any news yet?" Rather ask, "have you given any thought on what you are going to name the baby/ child" or "have you started working on your child's room yet? What color are you going to paint it?" Ask questions about her or her child, not the process of getting the child. If you must ask about the adoption process ask specific questions like, "tell me what the next step in the process is." And be genuine about it. Don't ask just to be nice.
>
> 2. Compliment us. Adoption does things to your mind, body and spirit. Some are stress eaters, some are stress not-eaters (me). We suffer from premature "mommy brain" or our brain cells have slowly died off
> due to excessive paperwork. We can look pale and tired. Please don't point out our faults. Please don't tell us it looks like we've put on a little weight or that we look obviously pale. Come up with something nice to say. Tell her you like her shoes or handbag. Compliment her writing style (thanks!) Tell her that seeing her makes you feel better.
>
> 3. Pamper us. Most of the pre-adoptive moms I know suffer from Email Checking Disorder (ECD) or Compulsive Message Board Reading Syndrome(CMBRS.) These are isolating and debilitating illnesses.
> These women are in serious need of some time away from their computers. They can think-type faster than they can re-type a letter. They are in dire need of some human contact. The best way to aid this is by taking her out of the house. Offer to take the pre-adoptive mom out to lunch. Offer coffee or out for drinks. Somehow force her to pry herself away from the computer for just an hour. You may have to endure a lunch date full of adoption related conversation, but the live human contact will make her feel good.
>
> 4. Make us feel special. Throw her an adoption shower. I hesitate to say baby shower since some people don't adopt babies. Make it a women's event. Not one of those crappy couple's shower where the men don't want to be there anyway. This activity is especially important for the woman becoming a mom for the first time, and especially one that has gone through the rigors of infertility testing and treatment. We want to be the center of attention. We want to feel special and want to know that you care. And who cares if someone else has already thrown a shower...what's more fun that 2 or 3 parties? We want you to ooh and ahh over our cute stuff. We want it to be all about us for a moment and not about the adoption.
>
> 5. Surprise us. Personally I like surprises. Part of my ECD is the fact that, to me, emails are little surprises. It makes me feel good to know that someone is actually thinking of me. This is to say that I especially appreciate personal emails. Just a note to say "Hi, I was thinking about you today." E-cards work too. Even better than emails are notes or cards in the mailbox. That is that thing out on the curb or attached to your house. A mysterious person puts little pieces of paper in there (usually bills, occasionally a very important federal document) and for some reason this makes me giddy like a school girl. I love holidays and especially my birthday (which is in 2 days.) Important events mean greeting cards. Treasures that people have picked out to show you they were thinking of you. And if you want to go above and beyond the call of duty have something shipped. Care packages, a box of flowers, or anything that comes in something larger than an envelope. These are true little gems of happiness.
>
> So the bottom line is for those of you on the sidelines: go out of your way to make these moms feel important. We have been through too much. This isn't to say that you should do this on a daily basis (although that will win you serious brownie points) but every so often. Think about us. We'd appreciate that.
> Written at 7:24 PM by Elle.
Friday, July 07, 2006
The Today Show
Matt Lauer is going to meet with Putin on Wednesday July 12. He is asking for questions from the general public. Here is the link to submit a question http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/13731253/
What a great opportunity to flood the media with demands for answers about the hold up with adoptions!
-Kathy
What a great opportunity to flood the media with demands for answers about the hold up with adoptions!
-Kathy
Saturday, July 01, 2006
UPDATE
Just got word that our documents made it to Irkutsk. We sent them Fed Ex on the 19th of June. We were told that they would arrive by the 22nd. Well, after checking the tracking on the 21st, we learned that they were held up in Great Britton because of a storm - and the new expected delivery date would be the 30th. I wasn't at all pleased about this since we paid $250 for delivery by the 22nd!
I kept checking the tracking information - and saw the package leave GB, go the St Peters burgh - get held in customs, go to Moscow and then...arrive in Irkutsk on the 28th (2 days early...or 5 days late, depending on how you look at it).
It will take about 2 weeks for everything to be translated and get all of our documents to the lawyer. We were told that we will have a final price on the translation in about a week - I am more than a little nervous to see that figure!
Will post when we have more information!
Have a happy and safe 4th!
I kept checking the tracking information - and saw the package leave GB, go the St Peters burgh - get held in customs, go to Moscow and then...arrive in Irkutsk on the 28th (2 days early...or 5 days late, depending on how you look at it).
It will take about 2 weeks for everything to be translated and get all of our documents to the lawyer. We were told that we will have a final price on the translation in about a week - I am more than a little nervous to see that figure!
Will post when we have more information!
Have a happy and safe 4th!
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