Hello everyone!
I haven't posted in a long time - the main reason being that some of the information I shared here ended up on a chat-site. I just want to reiterate that the information we share here is not for public knowledge. This blog is NOT a public blog, and the information contained within should be considered confidential. We have not, and will not give anyone permission to share the information here on any other blog or chat board.
It is sad that I even have to post the above...the good news is that what was posted (without our permission) wasn't entirely accurate.
Since our trip in May - we've seen significant steps forward with our case - including several meetings with the Judge. I can't share the details of those meetings (for obvious reasons).
I have most of you on this list in a newsletter email list. I can and will share greater details through that. If you would like to receive those email updates, please send me a note and let me know to add your name to the list.
-Kathy and Marty
Thursday, November 23, 2006
Tuesday, October 03, 2006
Hello Everyone.
The past few days several things have happened I want to update you on. First, Peggy Sue Hilt (the women who killed her Russian adopted child) had her sentence reduced. Why - I have no idea. I am too mad about it to even think about it.
Second, I was told tonight by one of the families who adopted from Irkutsk, using the agency we were using, that the FBI is now involved in some investigation. All I know is that this has something to do with the coordinator the agency used in Russia. I don't know who is at the root of this, but I do know that this is part of our problem. Several weeks ago, we were told by our lawyer that there is an ongoing investigation in Irkutsk - if I knew the American family involved, to ask them to please stop this investigation...it is hurting those of us who are still waiting. Apparently the Judge made some comment that she will not hear any cases that have anything to do with an agency while this investigation is ongoing. We are now considered independent (not with an agency) - and I don't know where that puts us.
The past few days several things have happened I want to update you on. First, Peggy Sue Hilt (the women who killed her Russian adopted child) had her sentence reduced. Why - I have no idea. I am too mad about it to even think about it.
Second, I was told tonight by one of the families who adopted from Irkutsk, using the agency we were using, that the FBI is now involved in some investigation. All I know is that this has something to do with the coordinator the agency used in Russia. I don't know who is at the root of this, but I do know that this is part of our problem. Several weeks ago, we were told by our lawyer that there is an ongoing investigation in Irkutsk - if I knew the American family involved, to ask them to please stop this investigation...it is hurting those of us who are still waiting. Apparently the Judge made some comment that she will not hear any cases that have anything to do with an agency while this investigation is ongoing. We are now considered independent (not with an agency) - and I don't know where that puts us.
Monday, September 18, 2006
story in the Elkhart Truth
Long road homeWait of nearly two years to adopt Russian girl nearing an end for Bristol couple
Published: Monday, September 18, 2006 -- The Truth,
Last updated: 9/17/2006 9:57:56 PMBy Jennifer OchsteinTruth Correspondent
BRISTOL -- Their Anya could be home by Thanksgiving, ceasing Marty and Kathy Friend's two-year eternity.
They've imagined what it will be like.
And why not? When you've waited for nearly two years to bring home the child you hope will one day call you "Mom" and "Dad," you fantasize about finally being parents.
Marty and Kathy Friend have been trying to adopt 4-year-old Anya, now living in a children's home in Irkutsk, Siberia, in Russia, since the girl was 2.
This summer, monetary constraints and a host of other complications nearly derailed the adoption. But close friends threw together a fundraiser, yielding enough to finish the adoption process.
Envisioning
Mostly, Kathy said, when she imagines times together with Anya, she thinks about what the mornings will be like. Since she's not a morning person, Kathy envisions Anya crawling out of her own bed in her pink bedroom and toddling into her parents' room. Kathy sees Anya climbing up the steps leading to her parents' tall bed and snuggling in.
Marty sees "Daddy and Anya getting up at the crack of dawn, making fun of Mommy, who's trying to pry her eyes open."
Either way, the couple is praying they won't have to imagine much longer.
"I really feel like God chose her to be our child," said Kathy, who's unable to have children. While she wasn't devastated at the thought of not being able to give birth to a child, she's always wanted to be a mom. "God set us up to adopt," she said.
Once Anya gets home and the Friends' fantasy becomes reality, Kathy has one wish -- to be a good enough parent to break through whatever difficulties Anya has dealt with during her short life.
"I want to give her enough love to help her become whatever she wants to be," Kathy said.
Processing
Normally, the adoption process takes much less time -- about nine months -- but adoptions of Russian children to Americans have become more difficult in recent years, the Friends said.
A North Carolina woman recently was convicted of killing the child she adopted from Russia. In response, the Russian Ministry of Education enforced more stringent guidelines for foreign adoptions.
At about the same time, the Friends and hundreds of other American couples were in the midst of trying to adopt from Russia. All of them were stalled.
What made chances even more difficult for the Friends was they were using the same U.S.-based adoption agency as the North Carolina woman who killed her child.
The adoption agency, according to Kathy, had been recommended to them by friends who had adopted two Russian girls before the North Carolina incident. After the Russian Ministry of Education stiffened guidelines, the adoption agency the Friends were using was no longer accredited in Russia.
At that point, the couple had spent more than $24,000 during the adoption proceedings. They felt as if they were running out of time, money and options to bring Anya home.
"We decided to take matters into our own hands," Kathy said.
Navigating
In May, the Friends took their third trip to Irkutsk, taking the unusual step to go it alone, without an adoption agency. They didn't want the stigma, but did want to stay in touch with Anya's caregivers at the children's home so they would continue to feel comfortable with the couple, hoping to make the adoption process easier.
Speaking little Russian, the couple found an interpreter who has taken on the unlikely role of partner in helping them adopt Anya. Their interpreter not only helped them through their last trip in Russia to visit Anya and her caregivers, he also has helped them navigate the country's legal system to get the adoption paperwork into motion.
Despite difficulties, the Friends hope their most recent round of paperwork to a Russian judge, known to be tough and thorough when reviewing legalities surrounding adoption of Russian children in his jurisdiction, will be successful.
But for that paperwork to get through to the judge, the Friends had to pay for the services of an attorney, and at the time, they say, they were tapped out.
They had liquidated and sold nearly everything they didn't need when they first began the adoption process. The sense of urgency to get the last remaining $6,000 was palpable.
That's when Kathy's friends, Kathy Strukel and Pam Homan, stepped up.
Supporting
Within four days, Strukel and Homan set up a dinner, silent auction and raffle. Kelly Miller, Flytraps restaurant owner, donated food and drink for 200 attendees who came to Lucy's Rhythm Room in Elkhart. Thus far from the Aug. 30 event, $6,400 has been raised.
"I was blown away," Strukel said of guests' generosity.
She thinks people were so willing to give because the Friends "have hearts as big as all outdoors and they wanted to give back. And I think people know what wonderful parents they're going to be."
Strukel many have agonized over the situation along with the Friends.
"I think it will mean the world to them," to have Anya come live with them, Strukel said. "They've loved her for two years now -- ever since they first saw her."
Jennifer OchsteinSend a messageCheck out my Bio
Published: Monday, September 18, 2006 -- The Truth,
Last updated: 9/17/2006 9:57:56 PMBy Jennifer OchsteinTruth Correspondent
BRISTOL -- Their Anya could be home by Thanksgiving, ceasing Marty and Kathy Friend's two-year eternity.
They've imagined what it will be like.
And why not? When you've waited for nearly two years to bring home the child you hope will one day call you "Mom" and "Dad," you fantasize about finally being parents.
Marty and Kathy Friend have been trying to adopt 4-year-old Anya, now living in a children's home in Irkutsk, Siberia, in Russia, since the girl was 2.
This summer, monetary constraints and a host of other complications nearly derailed the adoption. But close friends threw together a fundraiser, yielding enough to finish the adoption process.
Envisioning
Mostly, Kathy said, when she imagines times together with Anya, she thinks about what the mornings will be like. Since she's not a morning person, Kathy envisions Anya crawling out of her own bed in her pink bedroom and toddling into her parents' room. Kathy sees Anya climbing up the steps leading to her parents' tall bed and snuggling in.
Marty sees "Daddy and Anya getting up at the crack of dawn, making fun of Mommy, who's trying to pry her eyes open."
Either way, the couple is praying they won't have to imagine much longer.
"I really feel like God chose her to be our child," said Kathy, who's unable to have children. While she wasn't devastated at the thought of not being able to give birth to a child, she's always wanted to be a mom. "God set us up to adopt," she said.
Once Anya gets home and the Friends' fantasy becomes reality, Kathy has one wish -- to be a good enough parent to break through whatever difficulties Anya has dealt with during her short life.
"I want to give her enough love to help her become whatever she wants to be," Kathy said.
Processing
Normally, the adoption process takes much less time -- about nine months -- but adoptions of Russian children to Americans have become more difficult in recent years, the Friends said.
A North Carolina woman recently was convicted of killing the child she adopted from Russia. In response, the Russian Ministry of Education enforced more stringent guidelines for foreign adoptions.
At about the same time, the Friends and hundreds of other American couples were in the midst of trying to adopt from Russia. All of them were stalled.
What made chances even more difficult for the Friends was they were using the same U.S.-based adoption agency as the North Carolina woman who killed her child.
The adoption agency, according to Kathy, had been recommended to them by friends who had adopted two Russian girls before the North Carolina incident. After the Russian Ministry of Education stiffened guidelines, the adoption agency the Friends were using was no longer accredited in Russia.
At that point, the couple had spent more than $24,000 during the adoption proceedings. They felt as if they were running out of time, money and options to bring Anya home.
"We decided to take matters into our own hands," Kathy said.
Navigating
In May, the Friends took their third trip to Irkutsk, taking the unusual step to go it alone, without an adoption agency. They didn't want the stigma, but did want to stay in touch with Anya's caregivers at the children's home so they would continue to feel comfortable with the couple, hoping to make the adoption process easier.
Speaking little Russian, the couple found an interpreter who has taken on the unlikely role of partner in helping them adopt Anya. Their interpreter not only helped them through their last trip in Russia to visit Anya and her caregivers, he also has helped them navigate the country's legal system to get the adoption paperwork into motion.
Despite difficulties, the Friends hope their most recent round of paperwork to a Russian judge, known to be tough and thorough when reviewing legalities surrounding adoption of Russian children in his jurisdiction, will be successful.
But for that paperwork to get through to the judge, the Friends had to pay for the services of an attorney, and at the time, they say, they were tapped out.
They had liquidated and sold nearly everything they didn't need when they first began the adoption process. The sense of urgency to get the last remaining $6,000 was palpable.
That's when Kathy's friends, Kathy Strukel and Pam Homan, stepped up.
Supporting
Within four days, Strukel and Homan set up a dinner, silent auction and raffle. Kelly Miller, Flytraps restaurant owner, donated food and drink for 200 attendees who came to Lucy's Rhythm Room in Elkhart. Thus far from the Aug. 30 event, $6,400 has been raised.
"I was blown away," Strukel said of guests' generosity.
She thinks people were so willing to give because the Friends "have hearts as big as all outdoors and they wanted to give back. And I think people know what wonderful parents they're going to be."
Strukel many have agonized over the situation along with the Friends.
"I think it will mean the world to them," to have Anya come live with them, Strukel said. "They've loved her for two years now -- ever since they first saw her."
Jennifer OchsteinSend a messageCheck out my Bio
Friday, September 01, 2006
in the next week...
The Judge in Russia will come back from vacation next week. The next few weeks will be tense for us as we wait to hear word on what is going on with our documents and the Judge. Please keep us, the Judge, our attorney, and Anya in your prayers.
Thank you!
And let us not lose heart and grow weary and faint in acting nobly and doing right, for in due time and at the appointed season we shall reap, if we do not loosen and relax our courage and faint.
-Galatians 6:9 -
Thank you!
And let us not lose heart and grow weary and faint in acting nobly and doing right, for in due time and at the appointed season we shall reap, if we do not loosen and relax our courage and faint.
-Galatians 6:9 -
Wednesday, August 30, 2006
Can't Believe it!
Our friends had a fundraiser tonight and we were in shock and awe at the generosity of SO many people! I just got a call from one of the organizers, and she told me that the unofficial total is almost TO THE PENNY what we need to send to Russia this round!
- Prayer works
- Don’t doubt prayer, because prayer works
- Sometimes humbling yourself to ask for help isn’t such a bad thing
- did I mention prayer works?
Sunday, August 27, 2006
friends helping Friends BRING ANYA HOME
friends helping Friends BRING ANYA HOME
Dear friends,
As you probably know, for the last two years, Kathy & Marty Friend have been on a rollercoaster adventure to adopt this precious little girl, Anya, from an orphanage in Irkutsk, Russian. The good news is that they are getting closer and closer to their dream of bringing little Anya home.
The bad news is that the Friends just learned that they need to send a fairly large amount of money to Russia the first week of September to keep the momentum going and not delay the proceedings any further.
To help our friends, the Friends, bring their little girl home, Kelly Miller has graciously offered the use of Lucy's Rhythm Room for a fundraiser this Wednesday night, August 30, from 5:30 - 9:00 p.m.
Kelly's vendors have donated wine and appetizers and we'll have all kinds of opportunities for you to make contributions to help our friends, Kathy & Marty Friend Bring Anya Home
Cash donations of any size will be gratefully accepted. In addition, we will have silent auctions, raffles and other ways for you to have fun while contributing to this very worthwhile cause.
We look forward to seeing you on the 30th!
Kathy Strukel Pam Homan & Kelly Miller
___________________________________
Please join us for an evening of wine, appetizers and fun as "friends helping Friends" help Kathy & Marty Friend realize their goal of bringing Anya home.
There are lots of ways to participateWe're asking everyone to make a cash donation in any amount they wish. Whatever you can contribute will bring the Friends one step closer to bringing Anya home In addition to a donation, you will have the opportunity to purchase raffle tickets for a variety of cool stuff, bid on some great silent auction items or buy tickets for a 50/50 drawing.
There will be something for everyone in our Silent Auction and raffle items including a Julie Manfredi painting, a Flytrap's gift certificate, lots of fun items like jewelry, purses, tickets and bottles of alcohol and wine.
In addition, we'll have other surprises and opportunities for you to have fun while helping the Friends bring Anya home
friends helping Friends...BRING ANYA HOME
Lucy's Rhythm Room
505 South Main
(Next to Flytraps)
Elkhart
Wednesday, August 30
5:30 P.M. - 9:00 P.M.
Come for a few minutes or the whole evening!
Please let us know if you can join us by emailing Kathy S. (see link below) or calling 574-575-0079
Can you donate something for a raffle or silent auction?
Please let us know!
Help us help the FriendsBring Anya Home
kathy@theperfectsolutions.com
If you aren't able to attend, but would like to help, please call Kathy S. at 574-575-0079 or email us and we'll make arrangements to get your contribution to Kathy & Marty.
Dear friends,
As you probably know, for the last two years, Kathy & Marty Friend have been on a rollercoaster adventure to adopt this precious little girl, Anya, from an orphanage in Irkutsk, Russian. The good news is that they are getting closer and closer to their dream of bringing little Anya home.
The bad news is that the Friends just learned that they need to send a fairly large amount of money to Russia the first week of September to keep the momentum going and not delay the proceedings any further.
To help our friends, the Friends, bring their little girl home, Kelly Miller has graciously offered the use of Lucy's Rhythm Room for a fundraiser this Wednesday night, August 30, from 5:30 - 9:00 p.m.
Kelly's vendors have donated wine and appetizers and we'll have all kinds of opportunities for you to make contributions to help our friends, Kathy & Marty Friend Bring Anya Home
Cash donations of any size will be gratefully accepted. In addition, we will have silent auctions, raffles and other ways for you to have fun while contributing to this very worthwhile cause.
We look forward to seeing you on the 30th!
Kathy Strukel Pam Homan & Kelly Miller
___________________________________
Please join us for an evening of wine, appetizers and fun as "friends helping Friends" help Kathy & Marty Friend realize their goal of bringing Anya home.
There are lots of ways to participateWe're asking everyone to make a cash donation in any amount they wish. Whatever you can contribute will bring the Friends one step closer to bringing Anya home In addition to a donation, you will have the opportunity to purchase raffle tickets for a variety of cool stuff, bid on some great silent auction items or buy tickets for a 50/50 drawing.
There will be something for everyone in our Silent Auction and raffle items including a Julie Manfredi painting, a Flytrap's gift certificate, lots of fun items like jewelry, purses, tickets and bottles of alcohol and wine.
In addition, we'll have other surprises and opportunities for you to have fun while helping the Friends bring Anya home
friends helping Friends...BRING ANYA HOME
Lucy's Rhythm Room
505 South Main
(Next to Flytraps)
Elkhart
Wednesday, August 30
5:30 P.M. - 9:00 P.M.
Come for a few minutes or the whole evening!
Please let us know if you can join us by emailing Kathy S. (see link below) or calling 574-575-0079
Can you donate something for a raffle or silent auction?
Please let us know!
Help us help the FriendsBring Anya Home
kathy@theperfectsolutions.com
If you aren't able to attend, but would like to help, please call Kathy S. at 574-575-0079 or email us and we'll make arrangements to get your contribution to Kathy & Marty.
Humbled and with much gratitude...
Last Friday, I was at one of my Trunk Shows for CAbi. As I was setting up, one of the guests (who is also a great pal) walks in...1/2 hour early! She proceeds to ask me "hey, what are you doing Wednesday night?" I really didn't think much of it, since she is always telling me about network opportunities and business gatherings. My friend, Kathy Strukel, goes on to tell me that she and 2 other friends (Pam and Kelly) have decided to have a fund raiser for us! Can you even believe it?
We are awestruck at their generosity.
We are awestruck at their generosity.
Friday, August 25, 2006
update...
Hello All,
So many of you have been so wonderful in praying for us through the past 2 years, and I am sure you’ve been wondering what is going on with the adoption. So, I thought I would send a quick update.
We received some pictures today from the director of the orphanage in Shelechov (Irkutsk, Russia). Anya is holding some photos that we sent to her a few weeks ago. OK, I don’t understand the boy clothing, that is why we send girl clothes to her! Ugh! For those of you who know me, you know this is a HUGE UGH!
In the past 2 days, we’ve gotten several email notes from the director (actually, from her daughter). I can’t tell you how much this has meant to us! To those of you who’ve written recommendation letters for us – THIS IS WHY (see photos below)!! If you haven’t written a recommendation letter for us, and you want to – there is still time! We’re going to Indy on Tuesday to have everything apostilled and mail to Russia.
Things have been stressful this week in trying to get all the recommendations redone, our medical information redone from our doctors, and the Indiana Law with regard to child placing agencies figured out. Thankfully, most of this has been relatively painless. We need to send a pretty big chunk of change over to Russia here soon, and that is a chunk we simply don’t have. So please pray that God will work it all out for us – He always does! We’re considering a fund raiser, but not sure 1-week is enough time to get something together!
We hope to hear something official the first part of September. Our lawyer will be presenting our documents to the Judge (we hope) sometime the first week of September. Please keep us and Anya in your thoughts and prayers – it’s going to be one heck-of-a next few weeks!
Love,
Kathy and Marty
So many of you have been so wonderful in praying for us through the past 2 years, and I am sure you’ve been wondering what is going on with the adoption. So, I thought I would send a quick update.
We received some pictures today from the director of the orphanage in Shelechov (Irkutsk, Russia). Anya is holding some photos that we sent to her a few weeks ago. OK, I don’t understand the boy clothing, that is why we send girl clothes to her! Ugh! For those of you who know me, you know this is a HUGE UGH!
In the past 2 days, we’ve gotten several email notes from the director (actually, from her daughter). I can’t tell you how much this has meant to us! To those of you who’ve written recommendation letters for us – THIS IS WHY (see photos below)!! If you haven’t written a recommendation letter for us, and you want to – there is still time! We’re going to Indy on Tuesday to have everything apostilled and mail to Russia.
Things have been stressful this week in trying to get all the recommendations redone, our medical information redone from our doctors, and the Indiana Law with regard to child placing agencies figured out. Thankfully, most of this has been relatively painless. We need to send a pretty big chunk of change over to Russia here soon, and that is a chunk we simply don’t have. So please pray that God will work it all out for us – He always does! We’re considering a fund raiser, but not sure 1-week is enough time to get something together!
We hope to hear something official the first part of September. Our lawyer will be presenting our documents to the Judge (we hope) sometime the first week of September. Please keep us and Anya in your thoughts and prayers – it’s going to be one heck-of-a next few weeks!
Love,
Kathy and Marty
Sunday, August 20, 2006
laws
Hello All,
We got several notes from Russia today. Nothing huge to report other than things are still moving along. My challenge is trying to figure out the Indiana law train on how our home study agency got a license, and what they had to do to get the license. We have the law stating that Agency X has the power to give a license, but nothing on what in required by law to get the license. Ugh! I will figure it out!
We got several notes from Russia today. Nothing huge to report other than things are still moving along. My challenge is trying to figure out the Indiana law train on how our home study agency got a license, and what they had to do to get the license. We have the law stating that Agency X has the power to give a license, but nothing on what in required by law to get the license. Ugh! I will figure it out!
Sunday, July 30, 2006
Update on paperwork
I got a note from Russia today, and unfortunately, we missed getting our documents to the Judge before her August vacation. The Judge returns from vacation on Sep. the 4th. The attorney will meet with her right after the judge is back at her office.
-Kathy
-Kathy
Friday, July 28, 2006
...update
Several of you have sent me notes looking for an update. As par for us, I've been working on document after document after document. I screwed up the POA (power of attorney), so had to redo that...and we needed to get a letter from the Judge here in our town. Although we were able to get that with no real problems, it was a test for my patience! Here is what I have learned:
1. When working with any legal system, here or in Russia, NOTHING happens fast
2. If you want something done right, you HAVE GOT to do it yourself!
3. There is a lot to be said for retail therapy!
I have been notably tired...tired of everything, the paperwork, the waiting. For the past 2 years, we've been pouring everything we have into this - all of our energy, time, mental focus, money, EVERYTHING...and we have nothing to show for it. As odd as that sounds - those of you who are adoptive moms and dads understand. The process is sucking the life out of me! I am grateful to have been able to take on a second job not only for the income, but also for the redirection it has allowed my brain. I am a sales rep for a designer who has a private label line of women's clothing. Ya, I know, right up my alley! This has been such a God-send into my life, I can't even tell you. It forces me to NOT sit on the computer, NOT stay home, get out, dress up and be my usual somewhat charming/funny self.
Anyway, than you all for your continued prayers – I know that the process wears on you all too. Blessings to you all!
-Kathy
1. When working with any legal system, here or in Russia, NOTHING happens fast
2. If you want something done right, you HAVE GOT to do it yourself!
3. There is a lot to be said for retail therapy!
I have been notably tired...tired of everything, the paperwork, the waiting. For the past 2 years, we've been pouring everything we have into this - all of our energy, time, mental focus, money, EVERYTHING...and we have nothing to show for it. As odd as that sounds - those of you who are adoptive moms and dads understand. The process is sucking the life out of me! I am grateful to have been able to take on a second job not only for the income, but also for the redirection it has allowed my brain. I am a sales rep for a designer who has a private label line of women's clothing. Ya, I know, right up my alley! This has been such a God-send into my life, I can't even tell you. It forces me to NOT sit on the computer, NOT stay home, get out, dress up and be my usual somewhat charming/funny self.
Anyway, than you all for your continued prayers – I know that the process wears on you all too. Blessings to you all!
-Kathy
...on adoption
Hello All,
I got an email today from one of my friends, Tammie, who is an adoptive-mom - her little one is from Irkutsk (one of the reasons we went down this path). She forwarded this to me – it is something that was posted on an adoptive-mom’s blog. I know those of you on this list who are adoptive-moms can relate! Some of this hit a little too close to home for me today, but I thought it was good enough to pass along to all of you.
-Kathy
…on adoption – the process
> I started to think about what I am missing in life.
> Well my family, my friends, my reliability, my money and most of all my sanity. Of course that isn't to say I actually had money or sanity to begin with. To my family and friends... well sorry about that. I will try to pull my Head out of my butt soon enough.
> With all the obvious answers surrounding what I am missing I also started to think about what types of things you miss out on when you choose to adopt instead of get pregnant. Not that I had a choice between the two. Needless to say there are quite a few things that women who become mothers through adoption miss out on.
> We miss out on the glow. That sickening beautiful glow that pregnant women seem to emanate. We miss out on the "oohs" and "ahhs." The "oh look how cute you are" comments. But of course I have mentioned this all before. We also miss out on the pampering.
> It seems to me that pregnant women often get pampered. They get the parking spaces close to the door at the supermarket. People offer their seats on the subway or bus. I have watched husbands rub swollen feet.
> For pre-adoptive moms we lack the physical signs of impending motherhood. Our bellies don't grow, or if they do it isn't something growing in them. It is caused by a serious case of stress eating. Our glows don't come naturally. They are induced by rage at hearing yet another girlfriend is pregnant. Or more likely by an alcoholic libation or two. Three buck chuck has become one of my best friends.
>
> So to help rectify the situation I thought I would offer a few suggestions on how you as a friend, sister, brother, spouse, parent or anyone else suffering with dealing with supporting a pre-adoptive mom.
>
> 1. We like attention. For the outsider the allure of adoption wears off after the first few months. The mom deals with it every day. Don't ask, "any news yet?" Rather ask, "have you given any thought on what you are going to name the baby/ child" or "have you started working on your child's room yet? What color are you going to paint it?" Ask questions about her or her child, not the process of getting the child. If you must ask about the adoption process ask specific questions like, "tell me what the next step in the process is." And be genuine about it. Don't ask just to be nice.
>
> 2. Compliment us. Adoption does things to your mind, body and spirit. Some are stress eaters, some are stress not-eaters (me). We suffer from premature "mommy brain" or our brain cells have slowly died off
> due to excessive paperwork. We can look pale and tired. Please don't point out our faults. Please don't tell us it looks like we've put on a little weight or that we look obviously pale. Come up with something nice to say. Tell her you like her shoes or handbag. Compliment her writing style (thanks!) Tell her that seeing her makes you feel better.
>
> 3. Pamper us. Most of the pre-adoptive moms I know suffer from Email Checking Disorder (ECD) or Compulsive Message Board Reading Syndrome(CMBRS.) These are isolating and debilitating illnesses.
> These women are in serious need of some time away from their computers. They can think-type faster than they can re-type a letter. They are in dire need of some human contact. The best way to aid this is by taking her out of the house. Offer to take the pre-adoptive mom out to lunch. Offer coffee or out for drinks. Somehow force her to pry herself away from the computer for just an hour. You may have to endure a lunch date full of adoption related conversation, but the live human contact will make her feel good.
>
> 4. Make us feel special. Throw her an adoption shower. I hesitate to say baby shower since some people don't adopt babies. Make it a women's event. Not one of those crappy couple's shower where the men don't want to be there anyway. This activity is especially important for the woman becoming a mom for the first time, and especially one that has gone through the rigors of infertility testing and treatment. We want to be the center of attention. We want to feel special and want to know that you care. And who cares if someone else has already thrown a shower...what's more fun that 2 or 3 parties? We want you to ooh and ahh over our cute stuff. We want it to be all about us for a moment and not about the adoption.
>
> 5. Surprise us. Personally I like surprises. Part of my ECD is the fact that, to me, emails are little surprises. It makes me feel good to know that someone is actually thinking of me. This is to say that I especially appreciate personal emails. Just a note to say "Hi, I was thinking about you today." E-cards work too. Even better than emails are notes or cards in the mailbox. That is that thing out on the curb or attached to your house. A mysterious person puts little pieces of paper in there (usually bills, occasionally a very important federal document) and for some reason this makes me giddy like a school girl. I love holidays and especially my birthday (which is in 2 days.) Important events mean greeting cards. Treasures that people have picked out to show you they were thinking of you. And if you want to go above and beyond the call of duty have something shipped. Care packages, a box of flowers, or anything that comes in something larger than an envelope. These are true little gems of happiness.
>
> So the bottom line is for those of you on the sidelines: go out of your way to make these moms feel important. We have been through too much. This isn't to say that you should do this on a daily basis (although that will win you serious brownie points) but every so often. Think about us. We'd appreciate that.
> Written at 7:24 PM by Elle.
I got an email today from one of my friends, Tammie, who is an adoptive-mom - her little one is from Irkutsk (one of the reasons we went down this path). She forwarded this to me – it is something that was posted on an adoptive-mom’s blog. I know those of you on this list who are adoptive-moms can relate! Some of this hit a little too close to home for me today, but I thought it was good enough to pass along to all of you.
-Kathy
p.s. I love the part about $3 buck Chuck!
…on adoption – the process
> I started to think about what I am missing in life.
> Well my family, my friends, my reliability, my money and most of all my sanity. Of course that isn't to say I actually had money or sanity to begin with. To my family and friends... well sorry about that. I will try to pull my Head out of my butt soon enough.
> With all the obvious answers surrounding what I am missing I also started to think about what types of things you miss out on when you choose to adopt instead of get pregnant. Not that I had a choice between the two. Needless to say there are quite a few things that women who become mothers through adoption miss out on.
> We miss out on the glow. That sickening beautiful glow that pregnant women seem to emanate. We miss out on the "oohs" and "ahhs." The "oh look how cute you are" comments. But of course I have mentioned this all before. We also miss out on the pampering.
> It seems to me that pregnant women often get pampered. They get the parking spaces close to the door at the supermarket. People offer their seats on the subway or bus. I have watched husbands rub swollen feet.
> For pre-adoptive moms we lack the physical signs of impending motherhood. Our bellies don't grow, or if they do it isn't something growing in them. It is caused by a serious case of stress eating. Our glows don't come naturally. They are induced by rage at hearing yet another girlfriend is pregnant. Or more likely by an alcoholic libation or two. Three buck chuck has become one of my best friends.
>
> So to help rectify the situation I thought I would offer a few suggestions on how you as a friend, sister, brother, spouse, parent or anyone else suffering with dealing with supporting a pre-adoptive mom.
>
> 1. We like attention. For the outsider the allure of adoption wears off after the first few months. The mom deals with it every day. Don't ask, "any news yet?" Rather ask, "have you given any thought on what you are going to name the baby/ child" or "have you started working on your child's room yet? What color are you going to paint it?" Ask questions about her or her child, not the process of getting the child. If you must ask about the adoption process ask specific questions like, "tell me what the next step in the process is." And be genuine about it. Don't ask just to be nice.
>
> 2. Compliment us. Adoption does things to your mind, body and spirit. Some are stress eaters, some are stress not-eaters (me). We suffer from premature "mommy brain" or our brain cells have slowly died off
> due to excessive paperwork. We can look pale and tired. Please don't point out our faults. Please don't tell us it looks like we've put on a little weight or that we look obviously pale. Come up with something nice to say. Tell her you like her shoes or handbag. Compliment her writing style (thanks!) Tell her that seeing her makes you feel better.
>
> 3. Pamper us. Most of the pre-adoptive moms I know suffer from Email Checking Disorder (ECD) or Compulsive Message Board Reading Syndrome(CMBRS.) These are isolating and debilitating illnesses.
> These women are in serious need of some time away from their computers. They can think-type faster than they can re-type a letter. They are in dire need of some human contact. The best way to aid this is by taking her out of the house. Offer to take the pre-adoptive mom out to lunch. Offer coffee or out for drinks. Somehow force her to pry herself away from the computer for just an hour. You may have to endure a lunch date full of adoption related conversation, but the live human contact will make her feel good.
>
> 4. Make us feel special. Throw her an adoption shower. I hesitate to say baby shower since some people don't adopt babies. Make it a women's event. Not one of those crappy couple's shower where the men don't want to be there anyway. This activity is especially important for the woman becoming a mom for the first time, and especially one that has gone through the rigors of infertility testing and treatment. We want to be the center of attention. We want to feel special and want to know that you care. And who cares if someone else has already thrown a shower...what's more fun that 2 or 3 parties? We want you to ooh and ahh over our cute stuff. We want it to be all about us for a moment and not about the adoption.
>
> 5. Surprise us. Personally I like surprises. Part of my ECD is the fact that, to me, emails are little surprises. It makes me feel good to know that someone is actually thinking of me. This is to say that I especially appreciate personal emails. Just a note to say "Hi, I was thinking about you today." E-cards work too. Even better than emails are notes or cards in the mailbox. That is that thing out on the curb or attached to your house. A mysterious person puts little pieces of paper in there (usually bills, occasionally a very important federal document) and for some reason this makes me giddy like a school girl. I love holidays and especially my birthday (which is in 2 days.) Important events mean greeting cards. Treasures that people have picked out to show you they were thinking of you. And if you want to go above and beyond the call of duty have something shipped. Care packages, a box of flowers, or anything that comes in something larger than an envelope. These are true little gems of happiness.
>
> So the bottom line is for those of you on the sidelines: go out of your way to make these moms feel important. We have been through too much. This isn't to say that you should do this on a daily basis (although that will win you serious brownie points) but every so often. Think about us. We'd appreciate that.
> Written at 7:24 PM by Elle.
Friday, July 07, 2006
The Today Show
Matt Lauer is going to meet with Putin on Wednesday July 12. He is asking for questions from the general public. Here is the link to submit a question http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/13731253/
What a great opportunity to flood the media with demands for answers about the hold up with adoptions!
-Kathy
What a great opportunity to flood the media with demands for answers about the hold up with adoptions!
-Kathy
Saturday, July 01, 2006
UPDATE
Just got word that our documents made it to Irkutsk. We sent them Fed Ex on the 19th of June. We were told that they would arrive by the 22nd. Well, after checking the tracking on the 21st, we learned that they were held up in Great Britton because of a storm - and the new expected delivery date would be the 30th. I wasn't at all pleased about this since we paid $250 for delivery by the 22nd!
I kept checking the tracking information - and saw the package leave GB, go the St Peters burgh - get held in customs, go to Moscow and then...arrive in Irkutsk on the 28th (2 days early...or 5 days late, depending on how you look at it).
It will take about 2 weeks for everything to be translated and get all of our documents to the lawyer. We were told that we will have a final price on the translation in about a week - I am more than a little nervous to see that figure!
Will post when we have more information!
Have a happy and safe 4th!
I kept checking the tracking information - and saw the package leave GB, go the St Peters burgh - get held in customs, go to Moscow and then...arrive in Irkutsk on the 28th (2 days early...or 5 days late, depending on how you look at it).
It will take about 2 weeks for everything to be translated and get all of our documents to the lawyer. We were told that we will have a final price on the translation in about a week - I am more than a little nervous to see that figure!
Will post when we have more information!
Have a happy and safe 4th!
Thursday, June 22, 2006
Dateline NBC
Read this on the FRUA site, thought you all would think it is interesting...
We are excited to finally share with you our story of the adoption of our 3 sets of twins from Russia, which will be airing on Dateline NBC on Sunday, June 25th at 7:00 p.m. (Eastern Standard Time) for the full hour. The Dateline website at http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/3032600/ will soon have video clips of all of our children that were just filmed days ago describing their life in the last two years, and their thoughts on their life before in Russia. You will see the story scheduled for this coming Sunday in upcoming stories on their site It is our prayer as a family that the large platform our children will hold on Dateline NBC will be a window to their healing for many others to witness and perhaps be moved to make a difference in other children’s lives. It is also our prayer that countries, like Russia, who have made it so difficult for adopting parents to give children without hope better lives, will be moved by our children’s miraculous progress and understand how many other children can be helped. Please let as many people know about this story as possible. We would like to ask you to please rate this story after it airs on the Dateline web page. You simply click on the line from 1-5 (hopefully near the 5). We’re hoping that your input will cause Dateline and other media sources to continue to air positive adoption stories that benefit children and change lives for the better. Also, feel free to email or write Dateline to further add positive input. Help us show NBC and other networks that we applaud positive stories that really change lives. Lisa Salem Mom to 3 Sets of twin miracles
Thursday, June 15, 2006
News Piece
I learned today that I was quoted in a news piece that seems to be making it's way around. Well, funny thing about this is that I didn't talk to a reporter, and have never heard of this reporter. The quote isn't bad, and might have been what I would have said if I were contacted...it says that I said this 'in an email message'...not true!
I contacted a reported from the News Observer to ask when the sentencing hearing was going to be. She then forwarded my email to this reporter guy to say that he might want to contact me for a quote. It appears he took my name, made up a quote and never thought I would find out. Nice ethics...
Here are some links to the news pieces...
http://www.newsobserver.com/member_center/help/contact/
http://www.russiablog.org/2006/05/child_murderer_punished_americ.html
I contacted a reported from the News Observer to ask when the sentencing hearing was going to be. She then forwarded my email to this reporter guy to say that he might want to contact me for a quote. It appears he took my name, made up a quote and never thought I would find out. Nice ethics...
Here are some links to the news pieces...
http://www.newsobserver.com/member_center/help/contact/
http://www.russiablog.org/2006/05/child_murderer_punished_americ.html
Saturday, June 10, 2006
Hilt Case - judge's response
We heard the other day that the Judge in Irktusk was on local TV there commenting on the outcome of the Hilt trial. Here is what we heard:
"She made a comment on Hilt's case, her comment was rather neutral. She did not eleborate"
We think that since she isn't saying anything negative that is a good thing. Russian people don't typically come right out with an opinion that is positive - but they are very quick to say that something is bad or shed a negative opinion on something. So, to us, a neutral comment is a positive one.
"She made a comment on Hilt's case, her comment was rather neutral. She did not eleborate"
We think that since she isn't saying anything negative that is a good thing. Russian people don't typically come right out with an opinion that is positive - but they are very quick to say that something is bad or shed a negative opinion on something. So, to us, a neutral comment is a positive one.
UPDATE ON THE PROCESS
The documents that we had left in Irkutsk are being translated – YAY! We have most of everything else ready to go this week. There are 2 documents (both we need to get from lawyers, go figure) that we will have by the 20th. One is some silly letter from our local court, that has to be certified by a Judge (thank goodness our friend Kathy is in Rotary with a Judge!) – and the other is a copy of a law license from a lawyer.
Things are moving!!!
Things are moving!!!
Here are some very cool stories about divine intervention and adoption... I love stories like this- for us, those who believe in God and divine intervention, it is what keeps our Faith that God is in the middle of our process. It is also things like this that make our family and friends who aren’t so in-tune with divine intervention, think we are crazy!
On our trip to Russia about a month ago – we were to be met at the airport upon our arrival. The person who was meeting us was not someone we had ever met before. Of course when we got into the tiny airport, got our luggage – several taxi drivers were all over us wanting to give us a ride. We “Ya nee pa-nee-mai-ooo”ed our way out of that for over an hour. An hour and ½ into our wait, there was still no sign of anyone coming to pick us up. We would have taken one of the taxis, but we didn’t know where we were going. We realize that we have contact information for one of the coordinators in Russia who is helping us with the adoption – we get the number and look for a phone. Well, there are no pay phones at this airport. So we stand and wait some more… One particularly nice taxi driver seemed to be following us around. He spoke a little English, which was of some comfort when we were looking for the invisible pay phone. He brought over to us some people who worked at the airport to help us. They did not speak English either. After a brief conversation, they walked away. No help at all.
Over 2 hours, and several panic attacks later - this nice taxi driver offered to allow us to use his cell phone. We were able to get a hold of someone to come and pick us up! I hung up the phone, handed it back to the taxi driver and turned to tell my husband that I was able to get a hold of someone. As I turned back around to thank the taxi driver – he was gone. My DH (dear husband) went outside to look for him, to offer some money for allowing us to make a call on his phone, and he was gone and his car was gone. How a human could disappear THAT fast is beyond me.
Our coordinator did arrive – about 45minutes later. He had called back the number we called him from (the taxi driver’s cell) and the number was not in service. This is just one story in a long line of things that have happened to us on this adoption journey. It is amazing to us how God is taking a life-event like adoption, and continually testing our Faith and growing our Faith at the same time.
FROM AN ADOPTIVE MOM – ALLISON (taken from the FRUA chat board)
Hey everyone- I think some of you have heard the story by now about how difficult it was to get our VISAs & passports so we could get to Russia for trip one on the adoption of our little girl. For anyone that hasn't heard it, our trip was cancelled twice all in the same weekend due to Russian Consulate errors & FedEx errors right down to the wire. Our trip was scheduled for Sunday April 23 (7am) to fly out to Moscow, via Georgia. When the trip was finally back on, we went to bed Saturday night with FedEx telling us the VISA & passport package would be on our doorstep at 1am Sunday morning. A special package delivery with a "special" tracking number. Package never came. Flight was delayed. Then the flight came in & our package wasn't on it. We were up at 3am, so we could leave our house at 4am to leave for SeaTac, but with no package. I was calling FedEx trying to figure out what to do. They said nothing could be done because our package wasn't on the plane, even though it was "on" the plane when it left Chicago. No one would be looking for our package until 1-1:30pm Sunday afternoon in the SeaTac office when they reopened for the next FedEx flight. With much pleading in my nicest tone & explaining the situation over & over to FedEx dispatch, FedEx said a lady named Lydia in Seattle FedEx volunteered to go look for our package if we wanted to head for the airport. So we did. Lydia called us at 4:45am to say she was looking. At 5am she called to say she found it. She told us she was wearing a white shirt, blue jeans, & she's 5' tall. Where would she like us to meet? We told her & she met us at 5:25am at the Delta check-in. She brought us a yellow package with our necessary documents. I thought it odd it wasn't a FedEx package. She said they must have packaged it differently so it would stand out & they wouldn't lose it (something like that). We were chuckling over this because our package was of course, lost. She would forever be our angel for rolling out of bed & doing this on her own time! Well, now that things have settled down, I wanted to call FedEx & have her work & efforts noticed. I've spent portions of the last two days hunting her down. I told corporate FedEx that because of Lydia, we were able to get in & out of Russia, sign our adoption paperwork and have it all in within one day of Russia suspending international adoption. Because of Lydia, our adoption is possible. FedEx has no record of her!!!! SeaTac airport has no record of her!!! There is no FedEx employee named Lydia. Everyone is astonished at hearing this story. Multiple employees I've called at corporate FedEx said they of course want to hear such wonderful stories about their employees and they are so grateful I'm calling. They want to hear all about this type of thing, especially for an adoption. But they've had me on hold several times and called me back multiple times by multiple people telling me they have no record of such an employee. They are dumbfounded as to how such person could have gotten into FedEx to get us our package. I asked a FedEx lady today on the phone "do you believe in angels?" She said she got goosebumps all over. So now the management for Sunday April 23 FedEx at SeaTac airport is on this, as well as SeaTac airport management & security. They want to know how this could have happened. I'm wondering if the next thing they tell me is that my yellow package "didn't exist". I'm quite organized & still have my tracking number. They'll probably tell me my tracking number doesn't exist. I was told on April 23 four times that her name is Lydia. FedEx dispatch said her name is Lydia, then I talked to her twice.... each time she said her name is Lydia, and when she came with the documents she told Francis her name is Lydia. There's no mistake there. The only other employee with a name close to that is a "Lillian" and she wasn't there that day. Believe in angels? -Alison (Here's an update) I've still been looking for Lydia today. I talked to FedEx twice. They called me back the second time to tell me that a "Lori" logged into the FedEx system April 23 and said Francis was the recipient of our package. "Lori" signed in as an employee of United Air. Now, at United Air we're trying to figure out who Lori is. Is Lori "Lydia"? Is Lori someone who just recorded the info? Still unanswered questions. United Air asked around today and their 2 Lori's don't fit the description of our story. We still can't seem to find the actual person who gave us our package!!!!! United Air is looking and will call me back. I told them I just want to thank whoever gave me the package. I want to send them a picture of us & our little girl. FedEx has has no record of a Lydia still and neither does SeaTac airport. FedEx does however want to know how Lori logged into their system & (how someone) got our package out of FedEx cargo. -Alison (Another update) And my first call from FedEx today was to inform me that my tracking number is NOT a tracking number. I'm not surprised. They said the number I claim to be a tracking number is a "workorder/joborder". The wonders never cease. An adopting acquaintance of mine sent me the bible verse today: Exodus 23:20 "See, I am sending an angel ahead of you to guard you along the way and to bring you to the place I have prepared." Wow. What a blessing!!! For certain, FedEx, SeaTac airport, my family, and now many many friends, family members, and acquaintances, want to know who or what are Lori and Lydia? FedEx thinks this is just FABULOUS!! They do find it disconcerning though that someone got in their cargo area to get my package. They want to know how that happened. Angels. Have a great night. -Alison
On our trip to Russia about a month ago – we were to be met at the airport upon our arrival. The person who was meeting us was not someone we had ever met before. Of course when we got into the tiny airport, got our luggage – several taxi drivers were all over us wanting to give us a ride. We “Ya nee pa-nee-mai-ooo”ed our way out of that for over an hour. An hour and ½ into our wait, there was still no sign of anyone coming to pick us up. We would have taken one of the taxis, but we didn’t know where we were going. We realize that we have contact information for one of the coordinators in Russia who is helping us with the adoption – we get the number and look for a phone. Well, there are no pay phones at this airport. So we stand and wait some more… One particularly nice taxi driver seemed to be following us around. He spoke a little English, which was of some comfort when we were looking for the invisible pay phone. He brought over to us some people who worked at the airport to help us. They did not speak English either. After a brief conversation, they walked away. No help at all.
Over 2 hours, and several panic attacks later - this nice taxi driver offered to allow us to use his cell phone. We were able to get a hold of someone to come and pick us up! I hung up the phone, handed it back to the taxi driver and turned to tell my husband that I was able to get a hold of someone. As I turned back around to thank the taxi driver – he was gone. My DH (dear husband) went outside to look for him, to offer some money for allowing us to make a call on his phone, and he was gone and his car was gone. How a human could disappear THAT fast is beyond me.
Our coordinator did arrive – about 45minutes later. He had called back the number we called him from (the taxi driver’s cell) and the number was not in service. This is just one story in a long line of things that have happened to us on this adoption journey. It is amazing to us how God is taking a life-event like adoption, and continually testing our Faith and growing our Faith at the same time.
FROM AN ADOPTIVE MOM – ALLISON (taken from the FRUA chat board)
Hey everyone- I think some of you have heard the story by now about how difficult it was to get our VISAs & passports so we could get to Russia for trip one on the adoption of our little girl. For anyone that hasn't heard it, our trip was cancelled twice all in the same weekend due to Russian Consulate errors & FedEx errors right down to the wire. Our trip was scheduled for Sunday April 23 (7am) to fly out to Moscow, via Georgia. When the trip was finally back on, we went to bed Saturday night with FedEx telling us the VISA & passport package would be on our doorstep at 1am Sunday morning. A special package delivery with a "special" tracking number. Package never came. Flight was delayed. Then the flight came in & our package wasn't on it. We were up at 3am, so we could leave our house at 4am to leave for SeaTac, but with no package. I was calling FedEx trying to figure out what to do. They said nothing could be done because our package wasn't on the plane, even though it was "on" the plane when it left Chicago. No one would be looking for our package until 1-1:30pm Sunday afternoon in the SeaTac office when they reopened for the next FedEx flight. With much pleading in my nicest tone & explaining the situation over & over to FedEx dispatch, FedEx said a lady named Lydia in Seattle FedEx volunteered to go look for our package if we wanted to head for the airport. So we did. Lydia called us at 4:45am to say she was looking. At 5am she called to say she found it. She told us she was wearing a white shirt, blue jeans, & she's 5' tall. Where would she like us to meet? We told her & she met us at 5:25am at the Delta check-in. She brought us a yellow package with our necessary documents. I thought it odd it wasn't a FedEx package. She said they must have packaged it differently so it would stand out & they wouldn't lose it (something like that). We were chuckling over this because our package was of course, lost. She would forever be our angel for rolling out of bed & doing this on her own time! Well, now that things have settled down, I wanted to call FedEx & have her work & efforts noticed. I've spent portions of the last two days hunting her down. I told corporate FedEx that because of Lydia, we were able to get in & out of Russia, sign our adoption paperwork and have it all in within one day of Russia suspending international adoption. Because of Lydia, our adoption is possible. FedEx has no record of her!!!! SeaTac airport has no record of her!!! There is no FedEx employee named Lydia. Everyone is astonished at hearing this story. Multiple employees I've called at corporate FedEx said they of course want to hear such wonderful stories about their employees and they are so grateful I'm calling. They want to hear all about this type of thing, especially for an adoption. But they've had me on hold several times and called me back multiple times by multiple people telling me they have no record of such an employee. They are dumbfounded as to how such person could have gotten into FedEx to get us our package. I asked a FedEx lady today on the phone "do you believe in angels?" She said she got goosebumps all over. So now the management for Sunday April 23 FedEx at SeaTac airport is on this, as well as SeaTac airport management & security. They want to know how this could have happened. I'm wondering if the next thing they tell me is that my yellow package "didn't exist". I'm quite organized & still have my tracking number. They'll probably tell me my tracking number doesn't exist. I was told on April 23 four times that her name is Lydia. FedEx dispatch said her name is Lydia, then I talked to her twice.... each time she said her name is Lydia, and when she came with the documents she told Francis her name is Lydia. There's no mistake there. The only other employee with a name close to that is a "Lillian" and she wasn't there that day. Believe in angels? -Alison (Here's an update) I've still been looking for Lydia today. I talked to FedEx twice. They called me back the second time to tell me that a "Lori" logged into the FedEx system April 23 and said Francis was the recipient of our package. "Lori" signed in as an employee of United Air. Now, at United Air we're trying to figure out who Lori is. Is Lori "Lydia"? Is Lori someone who just recorded the info? Still unanswered questions. United Air asked around today and their 2 Lori's don't fit the description of our story. We still can't seem to find the actual person who gave us our package!!!!! United Air is looking and will call me back. I told them I just want to thank whoever gave me the package. I want to send them a picture of us & our little girl. FedEx has has no record of a Lydia still and neither does SeaTac airport. FedEx does however want to know how Lori logged into their system & (how someone) got our package out of FedEx cargo. -Alison (Another update) And my first call from FedEx today was to inform me that my tracking number is NOT a tracking number. I'm not surprised. They said the number I claim to be a tracking number is a "workorder/joborder". The wonders never cease. An adopting acquaintance of mine sent me the bible verse today: Exodus 23:20 "See, I am sending an angel ahead of you to guard you along the way and to bring you to the place I have prepared." Wow. What a blessing!!! For certain, FedEx, SeaTac airport, my family, and now many many friends, family members, and acquaintances, want to know who or what are Lori and Lydia? FedEx thinks this is just FABULOUS!! They do find it disconcerning though that someone got in their cargo area to get my package. They want to know how that happened. Angels. Have a great night. -Alison
Saturday, June 03, 2006
LIFE LESSONS…
On the way home, Marty got a little frustrated with one of the inspectors at the airport. Your luggage has to go through at least 5 different screenings before you get a boarding pass. We were on one of the last screenings, and the woman was trying to tell us something in Russian we didn’t understand. We said (in Russia) we don’t understand do you speak English? Well, of course her reply was ‘Niet!” and continued on with badgering us to do whatever it was she was wanted us to do. This went on for several minutes, and then the woman grabbed Marty’s arm and drug him to the end of the conveyor belt at the end of the luggage screening machine to get him to take off the luggage that had passed through the x-ray. This was odd because there was more luggage to be put on the conveyor belt…anyway, Marty was very frustrated with this woman and his mouth got the best of him. I think he said something like ‘I don’t know what you are saying you stupid, fat, Russian wench”…or something like that.
I grabbed him and told him to PLEASE watch what he says, that there were reports of Americans being detained for no reason in Passport Control as they tried to leave Russia.
We finally got to the counter, got our boarding passes, and were pretty happy to be going home. We proceeded to passport control, and were stopped by 2 women who looked like they worked for the INS/TSA/Homeland Security equivalent in Russia. They wanted our passports. They asked for a voucher – we had no voucher. The next thing we knew, we were being escorted to some office at the far end of this hall. Another women was again asking us for a voucher – something we didn’t have and had never heard of. I asked to see what it looked like – and it looked like a college diploma with the heading ‘Voucher’ on it. The guard woman took my passport and was pointing to some words on the passport asking whom that was. The document in my passport was in Cyrillic (Russian) so I didn’t know what it said. I tried to tell her that I couldn’t read Russian, and she huffed and puffed…went back to her office and typed something in her computer. She came back and asked who we got our invitation from (in Russia, when you get a Visa, you also need an invitation from Russia to enter the country). I replied ‘Red Star’ – this is a travel agency in Washington that I think also has an office in Russia. The guard questioned me about Red Star (none of the questions I could answer) – she huffed and puffed again, went back to her office and reappeared asking why we were visiting Russia. Well, Marty piped up ‘We’re adopting a little girl in Irkutsk”. I almost threw my hand over his mouth! That is THE LAST thing you should sat to these people! We were traveling on a tourist visa, not an adoption visa. So, this woman said, “What business do you have in Irkutsk”…well, I’ve been reading online enough to know how to answer these questions. These are the typical questions that American’s were being asked…I told her we were there visiting the girl we hoped to adopt, we conducted no business while in Russia, we got our visa and invitation from Red Star in the United States, and we do not have the voucher she had been asking for. Apparently this is the answer she was looking for – she went back to her office, did something on her computer – handed us our passports and said good-bye. The end.
What is the moral of the story? Keep in control of your mouth when going through security immigration, and always let your wife do the talking!!!
I grabbed him and told him to PLEASE watch what he says, that there were reports of Americans being detained for no reason in Passport Control as they tried to leave Russia.
We finally got to the counter, got our boarding passes, and were pretty happy to be going home. We proceeded to passport control, and were stopped by 2 women who looked like they worked for the INS/TSA/Homeland Security equivalent in Russia. They wanted our passports. They asked for a voucher – we had no voucher. The next thing we knew, we were being escorted to some office at the far end of this hall. Another women was again asking us for a voucher – something we didn’t have and had never heard of. I asked to see what it looked like – and it looked like a college diploma with the heading ‘Voucher’ on it. The guard woman took my passport and was pointing to some words on the passport asking whom that was. The document in my passport was in Cyrillic (Russian) so I didn’t know what it said. I tried to tell her that I couldn’t read Russian, and she huffed and puffed…went back to her office and typed something in her computer. She came back and asked who we got our invitation from (in Russia, when you get a Visa, you also need an invitation from Russia to enter the country). I replied ‘Red Star’ – this is a travel agency in Washington that I think also has an office in Russia. The guard questioned me about Red Star (none of the questions I could answer) – she huffed and puffed again, went back to her office and reappeared asking why we were visiting Russia. Well, Marty piped up ‘We’re adopting a little girl in Irkutsk”. I almost threw my hand over his mouth! That is THE LAST thing you should sat to these people! We were traveling on a tourist visa, not an adoption visa. So, this woman said, “What business do you have in Irkutsk”…well, I’ve been reading online enough to know how to answer these questions. These are the typical questions that American’s were being asked…I told her we were there visiting the girl we hoped to adopt, we conducted no business while in Russia, we got our visa and invitation from Red Star in the United States, and we do not have the voucher she had been asking for. Apparently this is the answer she was looking for – she went back to her office, did something on her computer – handed us our passports and said good-bye. The end.
What is the moral of the story? Keep in control of your mouth when going through security immigration, and always let your wife do the talking!!!
OUR LAST DAY…
Just thought I would update things since we’ve been home. Our last day with Anya was the best and the worst. We think she was all worked up from a doctor’s appointment, not seeing us over the weekend, not getting a nap that day and being in a new room with toys she’s never played with before. It was all too much. When we were getting ready to leave, she got very upset and didn’t want to go back to her group…this is pretty unusual. She kept saying that there was somewhere she was going to do, and she thought it was with us. She told our interpreter that she wanted to go with us in a car…well, Julia told her that we didn’t have a car to which Anya replied “go get one”!
Anya was just insistent that there was somewhere she was going, but she didn’t know where. It was heartbreaking to hear her get so upset, saying she wanted to come with us, and watch the frustration in her eyes from not being able to communicate or understand what was going on.
We told her that we would come back again to play with her, but not until she went to bed and woke up many many times. She seemed to understand that.
Anya was just insistent that there was somewhere she was going, but she didn’t know where. It was heartbreaking to hear her get so upset, saying she wanted to come with us, and watch the frustration in her eyes from not being able to communicate or understand what was going on.
We told her that we would come back again to play with her, but not until she went to bed and woke up many many times. She seemed to understand that.
Thursday, May 25, 2006
Outcome of the Hilt case
For those of you who are interested, the Hilt case sentencing was announced a few hours ago. Below is a link to the news story I could find.
The last woman to kill her Russian adopted child only got 12 years, so this is a much stiffer sentence in comparison. It was reported on the website for the local Manassas tv station that Peggy was sentenced to 35 years and the Judge made it mandatory that she will serve 25 of that time. So obviously everyone’s letters did make an impact - YEAH! The max sentence was 40 years.
It will be interesting to see what the Russian media makes of this.
http://en.rian.ru/russia/20060525/48616041.html
The last woman to kill her Russian adopted child only got 12 years, so this is a much stiffer sentence in comparison. It was reported on the website for the local Manassas tv station that Peggy was sentenced to 35 years and the Judge made it mandatory that she will serve 25 of that time. So obviously everyone’s letters did make an impact - YEAH! The max sentence was 40 years.
It will be interesting to see what the Russian media makes of this.
http://en.rian.ru/russia/20060525/48616041.html
Monday, May 22, 2006
Monday
It's noon on Monday, and we just stopped home for lunch between visits with Anya today. She was going to the eye doctor after lunch, so we should have the results from that test this afternoon.
This morning, Anya was REALLY rialed up. I think this was because of a few things; first, she was waiting for us to come visit and play all weekend...and we never showed up. So today when we got there, she was VERY excited. Then, I think that she is feeling more and more comfortable with us - which means she is testing her boundaries. That is a good thing. She knows if she does something bad, we'll still come back to see her. But now she is testing us to see what we will do when she doesn't behave. We had a lot of "that is not OK" and "do not do that" times this morning. Of course, Anya thinkg it is funny when we talk Russian in phrases like that, so she just laughed. I held her at one point and was trying to get her to calm down, doing the good 'ol 'shhhh' thing. So, little Anya was shhhhhh - ing me right back. Oh well...
All of the over excitment, throwing a toy, jumping on Mama and Papa, dumping out purses and then saying 'no, I am not going to clean that up' was being observed by a psychologist. Oh goodie. I didn't really know that at the time, and even if I did, I don't know what we would have done differently. After it was all said and done, the phychologist said that she thinks we play well together, and that she liked the way we didn't let her get away with things. WHEW! I guess a lot of pre adoptive parents do let thier kids get away with bad behavior.
This afternoon will be our last visit - and will be an emotional time for all of us. We're trying to figure out how we are going to tell Anya we aren't coming tomorrow. Keep us in your prayers, this will be a hard afternoon.
-K & M
This morning, Anya was REALLY rialed up. I think this was because of a few things; first, she was waiting for us to come visit and play all weekend...and we never showed up. So today when we got there, she was VERY excited. Then, I think that she is feeling more and more comfortable with us - which means she is testing her boundaries. That is a good thing. She knows if she does something bad, we'll still come back to see her. But now she is testing us to see what we will do when she doesn't behave. We had a lot of "that is not OK" and "do not do that" times this morning. Of course, Anya thinkg it is funny when we talk Russian in phrases like that, so she just laughed. I held her at one point and was trying to get her to calm down, doing the good 'ol 'shhhh' thing. So, little Anya was shhhhhh - ing me right back. Oh well...
All of the over excitment, throwing a toy, jumping on Mama and Papa, dumping out purses and then saying 'no, I am not going to clean that up' was being observed by a psychologist. Oh goodie. I didn't really know that at the time, and even if I did, I don't know what we would have done differently. After it was all said and done, the phychologist said that she thinks we play well together, and that she liked the way we didn't let her get away with things. WHEW! I guess a lot of pre adoptive parents do let thier kids get away with bad behavior.
This afternoon will be our last visit - and will be an emotional time for all of us. We're trying to figure out how we are going to tell Anya we aren't coming tomorrow. Keep us in your prayers, this will be a hard afternoon.
-K & M
Sunday, May 21, 2006
a typical day in Russia
We were out all day - walking from one shopping area, to downtown, to a cafe, then a market and home again. We were gone walking about 5-6 hours.
Our day ended later in the day, about 7pm - when we started seeing the things we only hear about in Russia...children begging in the streets, a drunk passed out in front of a concert hall, old men with very young girls, a homeless man picking through a garbage can - I guess looking for someting to eat...and the icing on the cake, an elderly couple - that had been (obviously) drinking all day, weaving when they walked, hooting and hollering...then, ducking behind a building. We observed this interaction from our apartment window - so we were not in any danger... I was very curious what they were doing, so I got comfortable and continued to watch...the older lady leaned up against the building, hiked up her babushka dress, and yes, started to pee! Right there, in front of everyone...no shame, no reservation...just peeing. Then, the old man apparently decided that was a good idea....then next thing we know - he's is taking a leak too! No one but us even paid them a second look. When they were done, the both took swigs from a bottle, hugged each other - and they went on their merry way.
The morale to the story? Siberia is a nice place to visit, but I wouldn't want to live here!
Our day ended later in the day, about 7pm - when we started seeing the things we only hear about in Russia...children begging in the streets, a drunk passed out in front of a concert hall, old men with very young girls, a homeless man picking through a garbage can - I guess looking for someting to eat...and the icing on the cake, an elderly couple - that had been (obviously) drinking all day, weaving when they walked, hooting and hollering...then, ducking behind a building. We observed this interaction from our apartment window - so we were not in any danger... I was very curious what they were doing, so I got comfortable and continued to watch...the older lady leaned up against the building, hiked up her babushka dress, and yes, started to pee! Right there, in front of everyone...no shame, no reservation...just peeing. Then, the old man apparently decided that was a good idea....then next thing we know - he's is taking a leak too! No one but us even paid them a second look. When they were done, the both took swigs from a bottle, hugged each other - and they went on their merry way.
The morale to the story? Siberia is a nice place to visit, but I wouldn't want to live here!
Saturday, May 20, 2006
Lena
We had dinner tonight with our former facilitator, Lena N. Wow! Things are really bad for her! About monthly, is seems that she is being hit with another complaint by the prosecutor's office or another 'something'. One of the charges actually is coming from the families of children who have been adopted. They are suing her because she released personal information about them in court...which is required by the Judge in order to adopt a child away from a person who abandoned them to a family who willk care for them. It is just nuts - they're on a witch hunt, and are hunting for anything...but nothing they have has any teeth (which is good).
She is doing well, and her spirit is higher than I imagined. She is getting by; she is a very resourceful 'do what you gotta do' kind of person...I think she will be fine. Her mom (who lives in Salt Lake) will be here next week for a month long visit. This will be good, since she can help financially etc.
She asked about all of the American families, and how everyone is doing.
As for Lena B (older Lena) she has cancer, and is not doing well. She won't talk about it, and if you talk to her or see her, she will say everything is fine, she is feeling well.
It was interesting to talk to her, and hear strait 'from the horses mouth' waht is going on with her, and her view on the situation here.
She is doing well, and her spirit is higher than I imagined. She is getting by; she is a very resourceful 'do what you gotta do' kind of person...I think she will be fine. Her mom (who lives in Salt Lake) will be here next week for a month long visit. This will be good, since she can help financially etc.
She asked about all of the American families, and how everyone is doing.
As for Lena B (older Lena) she has cancer, and is not doing well. She won't talk about it, and if you talk to her or see her, she will say everything is fine, she is feeling well.
It was interesting to talk to her, and hear strait 'from the horses mouth' waht is going on with her, and her view on the situation here.
Friday, May 19, 2006
Lawyer
We met with the lawyer today, and we both feel good about the meeting. She is a beautiful younger woman, very nice person with a personality (something I guess I didn’t think we would encounter when meeting a Lawyer in Russia!).
Here are the steps:
Our documents will be translated – we will submit what we have now to the translation agency, and then we will send the remainder that is being redone next week. They will have all of our documents within 7-10 days
The translation process will take about a week, at $10 a page…I am SCARED to do the math!
Then everything is passed over to the lawyer for her review. After she looks at everything, she will have a better feel/understanding for what direction to take. This lawyer has a lot of good experience, and connections/relationships with people above the regional Judge
The lawyer will contact us with a plan
The lawyer will present our documents to the Judge
The Judge will surely have something that needs to be changed
We will have about 2 weeks to make the changes, and resubmit everything
This whole process detailed above is about a 3-4 week deal…we expect a court date in about 5-7 weeks
Depending on how things go with the Hilt thing, it is possible that whatever decision this Judge makes will need to be appealed…of course, depending on what direction the lawyer decides to take with our case.
So we are praying for:
Stellar paperwork – no errors or corrections will be needed by the Judge, everything will be clear and to her requirements
That the translation goes faster than 1-week, and we are not charged for every apostille (since they are all the same, and every document has one)
That the review of our paperwork does not take a week, and that the direction to take our case that will bring about a positive outcome will be abundantly clear to the lawyer.
While we have been here, my Mom and our pal Kathy Strukel have been hard at work doing what they can to get everything ready so when we get home next week, all we will need to do is put everything in an envelope and send it to the translation place. The creative thinking that has gone on at home while we’re here is pretty amazing! I think Kathy S should go into the Dossier Prep business!
Here are the steps:
Our documents will be translated – we will submit what we have now to the translation agency, and then we will send the remainder that is being redone next week. They will have all of our documents within 7-10 days
The translation process will take about a week, at $10 a page…I am SCARED to do the math!
Then everything is passed over to the lawyer for her review. After she looks at everything, she will have a better feel/understanding for what direction to take. This lawyer has a lot of good experience, and connections/relationships with people above the regional Judge
The lawyer will contact us with a plan
The lawyer will present our documents to the Judge
The Judge will surely have something that needs to be changed
We will have about 2 weeks to make the changes, and resubmit everything
This whole process detailed above is about a 3-4 week deal…we expect a court date in about 5-7 weeks
Depending on how things go with the Hilt thing, it is possible that whatever decision this Judge makes will need to be appealed…of course, depending on what direction the lawyer decides to take with our case.
So we are praying for:
Stellar paperwork – no errors or corrections will be needed by the Judge, everything will be clear and to her requirements
That the translation goes faster than 1-week, and we are not charged for every apostille (since they are all the same, and every document has one)
That the review of our paperwork does not take a week, and that the direction to take our case that will bring about a positive outcome will be abundantly clear to the lawyer.
While we have been here, my Mom and our pal Kathy Strukel have been hard at work doing what they can to get everything ready so when we get home next week, all we will need to do is put everything in an envelope and send it to the translation place. The creative thinking that has gone on at home while we’re here is pretty amazing! I think Kathy S should go into the Dossier Prep business!
CHANGE IN PRAYERS!!!
Such interesting information
We were able to piece 2 pieces of the puzzle together today with regard to the “why” in the court system here.
First, this new judge does not work independently. She is being monitored by the Supreme Court, and all of her decisions come through that court. When we thought we were just praying for this one person, we were wrong. We need to refocus our prayers for the Supreme Court that oversees this region.
The other thing that is interesting, confirms a gut feeling many of us in the ‘waiting game’ have had suspicion about for a long time. The paperwork games the Judge has been playing are in fact a stall tactic…they are stalling to see what will happen with the Hilt case. That case, for some reason, has caused adoption slow downs in more countries other than Russia. Apparently, everyone is stalling, and waiting to see what will happen at the sentencing hearing, and I think that is on the 25th. We need to pray (or send letters to the Judge in Virginia or wherever) that this woman gets sentenced to the full extent of the law! She is crazy, and killed her child with her own hands. She should rot in prison.
From what I understand, if the sentencing is harsh, and to the full extent as our law will allow…then that serves as a sort of green light to start the process again here. If (for some reason that I can’t even think of) Hilt is not held accountable, and only given a light sentence – that is a sure sign that things in this region (and possibly all over Russia) will close down for good.
We were able to piece 2 pieces of the puzzle together today with regard to the “why” in the court system here.
First, this new judge does not work independently. She is being monitored by the Supreme Court, and all of her decisions come through that court. When we thought we were just praying for this one person, we were wrong. We need to refocus our prayers for the Supreme Court that oversees this region.
The other thing that is interesting, confirms a gut feeling many of us in the ‘waiting game’ have had suspicion about for a long time. The paperwork games the Judge has been playing are in fact a stall tactic…they are stalling to see what will happen with the Hilt case. That case, for some reason, has caused adoption slow downs in more countries other than Russia. Apparently, everyone is stalling, and waiting to see what will happen at the sentencing hearing, and I think that is on the 25th. We need to pray (or send letters to the Judge in Virginia or wherever) that this woman gets sentenced to the full extent of the law! She is crazy, and killed her child with her own hands. She should rot in prison.
From what I understand, if the sentencing is harsh, and to the full extent as our law will allow…then that serves as a sort of green light to start the process again here. If (for some reason that I can’t even think of) Hilt is not held accountable, and only given a light sentence – that is a sure sign that things in this region (and possibly all over Russia) will close down for good.
Detski Dom
Here are some photos of the orphanage where Anya is...
We are standing at Anya's bed. In the above photo, pictured are L-R the director (Elena), Anya, me, Julia (our intreperter - she is a student at the local University, studying North American Culture...I think she will be glad to get a break from us for the weekend!)
The playground.
The front enterance. I saw other photos and heard that there was some kind of scupture on this building, it was of children on a river (the name of the home is something like small river)...but I don't see where that is.
We are standing at Anya's bed. In the above photo, pictured are L-R the director (Elena), Anya, me, Julia (our intreperter - she is a student at the local University, studying North American Culture...I think she will be glad to get a break from us for the weekend!)
The playground.
The front enterance. I saw other photos and heard that there was some kind of scupture on this building, it was of children on a river (the name of the home is something like small river)...but I don't see where that is.
Anya with her crooked glasses on. They don't fit, so she keeps pushing them up - using her dirty fingers on the lenses...so even if I thought she was able to see better with these things, she wouldn't be able to because the glasses are SO dirty!
Giggle britches. I think we got her a little too wound up this afternoon...she wasn't listening...and when we would point at her and say 'that is not ok'...she would point right back at us and say 'that is not ok'. Julia (our language go between) told her that if she didn't behave, we wouldn't come back and play with her. Anya said 'yes you will, Mama and Papa love me, they will come again'. Well, true, but - we are not allowed to visit on the weekend...so she is going to have a harsh reality tomorrow when we don't show up. We were a little late this afternoon, and she ran up nto us saying "I've been waiting for you, I had to play with these children until you got here...now let's go" So, we know she is waiting for us to visit every morning and afternoon.
Marty is feeling better today, not sure if the problem was the altitiude here (kind of like being in Colorado), or what...but all is well. Thanks for your prayers!
Anya's newest thing is everything is 'nee nada' or 'don't do that'...said as she is laughing so hard she can hardly talk. And everything seems to be 'I can do it myself' and then 2 seconds later "Mama/papa help please" It is so funny because the way you say please is pha-zha-lu-stah...and Anya says pha-la-do-da - kind of like "camptown racers sing this song, doo daa doo daa"
Anya's newest thing is everything is 'nee nada' or 'don't do that'...said as she is laughing so hard she can hardly talk. And everything seems to be 'I can do it myself' and then 2 seconds later "Mama/papa help please" It is so funny because the way you say please is pha-zha-lu-stah...and Anya says pha-la-do-da - kind of like "camptown racers sing this song, doo daa doo daa"
playing outside
These photos were taken today (friday) morning. We played outside most of our visit today. Although it was warm, they still insist that the children wear winter coats.
This is a pook-a-boo photo...although here they say 'coo coo' so, if you say Mama coo-coo it doesn't mean Mama is crazy!
This is a pook-a-boo photo...although here they say 'coo coo' so, if you say Mama coo-coo it doesn't mean Mama is crazy!
Thursday, May 18, 2006
Wednesday, May 17, 2006
Another meeting with the director
We were interested and confused about this eyeglasses thing. We asked our interpreter ask her mother (who used to be the doctor at Shelekov) to help us with this. In looking at the prescription, it was from May 2005. The director and medical assistant we spoke to today were also a little unclear about the glasses this, as Anya does not display any characteristics of a child who cannot see…and the prescription she has is for a child who can not see. Basically this glasses thing is a mystery to everyone. There is nothing in Anya’s medical record about it – there is one note about a vision exam, however the notes are very unclear. Anya’s bio mother did wear glasses, and there is information in Anya’s medical record that says her bio mother did not have any medical problems.
We asked for a second opinion on the eyeglasses issue. IN talking to the director and so on, they agree that we need another exam for her. So, another doctor will come to examine Anya either tomorrow or Friday to see about this eye thing. I guess this doctor is a specialist…we’ll see how that goes.
When she was transferred to Shelekov in March, she was given a full battery of medical tests again. She was tested for everything you can think of from AIDS to lung and kidney issues. All of her test came back saying she is a very healthy girl.
The director told us the Anya is one of the best-behaved children at the home.
The only thing that the director said negative was that she did not like the way Anya did not talk to us when we first start our visits. Of course that is all I heard, and Marty didn’t even notice she said it (glass half full or half empty?). She followed that comment with she thinks we play together well and that there have been so many changes in the past few months with her she is still adapting. Now that Anya is getting older, she isn’t so into hugs and being held like she was on our Trip #1. The director told us that this is very typical of children at this age. She just doesn’t know how to take it as she has never had someone hug her – she doesn’t understand what that’s all about.
The director was asking our interpreter a lot of questions about is that she couldn’t answer. She is just that, an interpreter not our adoption representative. They (the people at the orphanage) are preparing the paperwork for a court hearing and are asking a lot of questions about us for that. I think there is some confusion about all that. We have been asked to meet with the head of the guardianship department in Shelekov tomorrow. Apparently she is a very nice person, and just wants to meet us. This is pretty unusual. Also, we’ve been asked to spend some time with the director, and tell her about us – about what we do for a living, why we are choosing adoption, why Anya, what our plans are after we get her home and so on. At first I thought this was very strange, however, we called our friend in town who works with adoptions and he said that she is doing this because in court she will be asked to tell everything she knows about us. The more she knows, the better. It might look odd if the records show that we’ve spent so much time with Anya and the director know nothing about us.
We asked for a second opinion on the eyeglasses issue. IN talking to the director and so on, they agree that we need another exam for her. So, another doctor will come to examine Anya either tomorrow or Friday to see about this eye thing. I guess this doctor is a specialist…we’ll see how that goes.
When she was transferred to Shelekov in March, she was given a full battery of medical tests again. She was tested for everything you can think of from AIDS to lung and kidney issues. All of her test came back saying she is a very healthy girl.
The director told us the Anya is one of the best-behaved children at the home.
The only thing that the director said negative was that she did not like the way Anya did not talk to us when we first start our visits. Of course that is all I heard, and Marty didn’t even notice she said it (glass half full or half empty?). She followed that comment with she thinks we play together well and that there have been so many changes in the past few months with her she is still adapting. Now that Anya is getting older, she isn’t so into hugs and being held like she was on our Trip #1. The director told us that this is very typical of children at this age. She just doesn’t know how to take it as she has never had someone hug her – she doesn’t understand what that’s all about.
The director was asking our interpreter a lot of questions about is that she couldn’t answer. She is just that, an interpreter not our adoption representative. They (the people at the orphanage) are preparing the paperwork for a court hearing and are asking a lot of questions about us for that. I think there is some confusion about all that. We have been asked to meet with the head of the guardianship department in Shelekov tomorrow. Apparently she is a very nice person, and just wants to meet us. This is pretty unusual. Also, we’ve been asked to spend some time with the director, and tell her about us – about what we do for a living, why we are choosing adoption, why Anya, what our plans are after we get her home and so on. At first I thought this was very strange, however, we called our friend in town who works with adoptions and he said that she is doing this because in court she will be asked to tell everything she knows about us. The more she knows, the better. It might look odd if the records show that we’ve spent so much time with Anya and the director know nothing about us.
Marty...and on being overwhelmed
Poor Marty is kind of going through it a little bit. Please keep him in your prayers. We don’t know what the problem is, but he hasn’t felt well since we got to Russia – and is just not himself. Kind of a vertigo thing maybe, when we get off the elevator at our apartment, he feels like the elevator is still moving; and he has been so tired, he can’t keep his eyes open.
And, he really needs to be himself and wide-awake for sake of the court hearing. Since we are being watched so closely, and everyone takes notes on how we play with Anya, if Marty isn’t feeling well and is kind of standing back…that doesn’t look good. It is so hard to think of that. This morning I was tired, and we were playing outside. My instinct was to let Anya and Marty play, they were having fun…and I was going to sit on a log and watch. But then I thought twice about that.
We both really need to work harder on our Russian. Just saying yes and no and nodding out heads isn’t going to cut it. For us to know more conversational Russian means that we care more. It says a lot to the Russian people that we took the time and the effort to learn Russian. I fell that I can speak it OK – however, I speak using cheat sheets and a book. So, it’s hard for me to speak on the fly. And, twice as hard to know what people are saying to us.
This trip is very different than our first trip here. There seems to be so much pressure on everything…although I am sure most of it is self-imposed. Last time we would only visit the Baby home one time a day, and we would spend hours walking downtown, going to lunch and to the grocery store. That is not the way things are on this trip. We have only been into town one time. When we are not at the baby home, there are more documents I need to review, organize or complete. It is overwhelming. It is hard to enjoy the time we have with Anya when there seems to be so much between now and when we get to enjoy her in our house. And, all the junk between here and there is on my plate – wondering how I am going to get to the store so we have something to eat, deal with al mountains of paperwork, sleep, and learn more Russian in the next few days…just feeling a little overwhelmed, I probably need a nap and some fruit roll-ups.
Please keep us in your prayers over these issues.
thoughts from Marty (Wednesday)
Hello all,
Greetings from the other side of the world. It's very difficult being upside down like this. All the blood rushes to your head. Of course, since my normal thinking processes are inverted, I am just a normal person when I'm upside down on this side of the globe. It all makes perfect sense to me.
After meeting with the director of the orphanage, we have been allowed to visit with Anya twice a day. It seems that her and the Russian psychologist lady like us very much. The Ruskies (pronounced ROO-skee's) come off cold as steel when you first meet them, but seem to warm up to you after a while.
When we arrived here the weather was in the 60's in the daytime. It actually got into the 70's one day. Then a HUGE dust storm blew through the city and brought freezing Siberian air down from the North. Yesterday we walked downtown for an hour or so. The wind blew like it does in Chicago in the winter. It went right through us. We returned to our apartment to find
that the hot water didn't work. The hot faucet had no pressure, but the cold faucet had plenty. It seems that the City supplies TWO water lines. One is hot and the other is cold. So, if the hot water line is ruptured, the entire city has no hot water! The genius who engineered that system was probably sent to the prison camps in the north to think about that for a while.
This morning we discovered that the boiler in the building isn't working either (if there is one). It could be linked to the city's hot water line. If so, the entire city now has no hot water OR heat (as all heat in Russia is radiant). And to think, these guys actually have access to nuclear reactors and weaponry. In my mind, that's kind of like a six year old with his own personal hand grenade. Ok, I'm done ranting now.
Making the two trips back and forth to the orphanage and the time we spend with Anya pretty much consumes our entire day. Contrary to our last trip, we actually found a restaurant that serves some very palatable food.
We want to thank all of you for your thoughts and prayers!
~Marty
Greetings from the other side of the world. It's very difficult being upside down like this. All the blood rushes to your head. Of course, since my normal thinking processes are inverted, I am just a normal person when I'm upside down on this side of the globe. It all makes perfect sense to me.
After meeting with the director of the orphanage, we have been allowed to visit with Anya twice a day. It seems that her and the Russian psychologist lady like us very much. The Ruskies (pronounced ROO-skee's) come off cold as steel when you first meet them, but seem to warm up to you after a while.
When we arrived here the weather was in the 60's in the daytime. It actually got into the 70's one day. Then a HUGE dust storm blew through the city and brought freezing Siberian air down from the North. Yesterday we walked downtown for an hour or so. The wind blew like it does in Chicago in the winter. It went right through us. We returned to our apartment to find
that the hot water didn't work. The hot faucet had no pressure, but the cold faucet had plenty. It seems that the City supplies TWO water lines. One is hot and the other is cold. So, if the hot water line is ruptured, the entire city has no hot water! The genius who engineered that system was probably sent to the prison camps in the north to think about that for a while.
This morning we discovered that the boiler in the building isn't working either (if there is one). It could be linked to the city's hot water line. If so, the entire city now has no hot water OR heat (as all heat in Russia is radiant). And to think, these guys actually have access to nuclear reactors and weaponry. In my mind, that's kind of like a six year old with his own personal hand grenade. Ok, I'm done ranting now.
Making the two trips back and forth to the orphanage and the time we spend with Anya pretty much consumes our entire day. Contrary to our last trip, we actually found a restaurant that serves some very palatable food.
We want to thank all of you for your thoughts and prayers!
~Marty
poverty in Russia
This is the view we have outside our Kitchen window. Typically there are a few homeless people who live in the trash. Be grateful for everything you have!
Tuesday, May 16, 2006
Our visit with Anya and the new director- Tuesday
We had a meeting today with the director at Anya’s orphanage. She is very very nice - her name is Elana. She said that she used to work at BH2 where Anya was before moving to Shelekov. She was there for 2 years when Anya was there (so, from the time Anya was 8 months old until she was 2 years and 8 months). She new of us, and had heard many things about us…which struck me as odd since there are so many families that come through those doors, and we had not met her in the past. Anyway – she said that Anya was still adjusting to being at Shelekov, but she is little, and she will be fine. She said that Anya is a very good little girl (as if?!?!). She said that she has read our complete file from the Adoption Center (meaning she has read through our dossier etc.), and from knowing about us, our home and our family, we are the perfect place for Anya.
Elana also told us that Anya talks about us all the time…which I think is amazing since I’ve not been here for a year, and Marty hadn’t seen her for a year and ½! When Anya first moved to Shelekov, she was meeting with the orphanage psychologist (also, a VERY nice woman named Shetlana), and Anya insisted on showing her the photo book of us. Anya went through every page with Shetlana, explaining in every photo that was Mama, Papa and Anya. She also informed Svetlana “Mama and Papa love me very much!” Very true, and how wonderful that she knows that, even if she doesn’t understand it, the fact that she knows we love her, and that means something special is so powerful!
When we arrive at our visits with Anya, she is always sad-faced. This goes back to October 2004 to our first visit with her. I was told today that this is an act because when she leaves her group, she exclaims “I must go and plan with Mama and Papa now – bye bye!”…kind of a 3 year old’s way of saying ‘see ya later bums, my mama and papa are here!”
When Anya returned to her group (the sheep group) on Saturday, she told the other children tale after tale of our visit with her.
We were allowed to visit with her 2x today…and Elana said that she gave us permission to visit from 10am until lunchtime, and then from 4pm until 6 (dinner). She said that each time we visit, it is documented in Anya’s permanent record – with notes of how we are playing with her and how our communication is with her. All the times we’ve sent clothes, notes, photos etc. to her has been documented – and will look very good to the Judge.
At our afternoon visit, we were allowed to play outside. It was FREEZING cold here today. But, it was fun to be outside. Anya had a lot of fun going down the slide, and kept saying, “one more time Papa, please”, and then when she would get to the ladder, she would say “I can do it by myself!” Well, that lasted until she realized she couldn’t get her foot up to the first rung of the ladder…which would bring on “Papa, help please!” This went on for probably 10-15 times!
Elana came outside to tell us that it was dinnertime, and Anya had to go to her group. Anya asked frequently to go with her group when we are together, but never pushes it – I think she hears the other kids in the hall, and thinks she is missing out on something. Anyway – when Elana said that, Anya stopped dead in her tracks and said “no, I want to stay and play with Mama and Papa!”. She then told Elana, “I love playing with Mama and Papa.” We went on talking, and then Anya blurted out “I love Papa the best” – so yes, it’s true, I am still just the lady with the cookies and shoes!
When we were leaving, Anya hugged and kissed both of us bye bye, and asked us to come back tomorrow. As she was walking back inside, we said, “I love you Anya!” She yelled back “I love you too Mama and Papa!”
Elana also told us that Anya talks about us all the time…which I think is amazing since I’ve not been here for a year, and Marty hadn’t seen her for a year and ½! When Anya first moved to Shelekov, she was meeting with the orphanage psychologist (also, a VERY nice woman named Shetlana), and Anya insisted on showing her the photo book of us. Anya went through every page with Shetlana, explaining in every photo that was Mama, Papa and Anya. She also informed Svetlana “Mama and Papa love me very much!” Very true, and how wonderful that she knows that, even if she doesn’t understand it, the fact that she knows we love her, and that means something special is so powerful!
When we arrive at our visits with Anya, she is always sad-faced. This goes back to October 2004 to our first visit with her. I was told today that this is an act because when she leaves her group, she exclaims “I must go and plan with Mama and Papa now – bye bye!”…kind of a 3 year old’s way of saying ‘see ya later bums, my mama and papa are here!”
When Anya returned to her group (the sheep group) on Saturday, she told the other children tale after tale of our visit with her.
We were allowed to visit with her 2x today…and Elana said that she gave us permission to visit from 10am until lunchtime, and then from 4pm until 6 (dinner). She said that each time we visit, it is documented in Anya’s permanent record – with notes of how we are playing with her and how our communication is with her. All the times we’ve sent clothes, notes, photos etc. to her has been documented – and will look very good to the Judge.
At our afternoon visit, we were allowed to play outside. It was FREEZING cold here today. But, it was fun to be outside. Anya had a lot of fun going down the slide, and kept saying, “one more time Papa, please”, and then when she would get to the ladder, she would say “I can do it by myself!” Well, that lasted until she realized she couldn’t get her foot up to the first rung of the ladder…which would bring on “Papa, help please!” This went on for probably 10-15 times!
Elana came outside to tell us that it was dinnertime, and Anya had to go to her group. Anya asked frequently to go with her group when we are together, but never pushes it – I think she hears the other kids in the hall, and thinks she is missing out on something. Anyway – when Elana said that, Anya stopped dead in her tracks and said “no, I want to stay and play with Mama and Papa!”. She then told Elana, “I love playing with Mama and Papa.” We went on talking, and then Anya blurted out “I love Papa the best” – so yes, it’s true, I am still just the lady with the cookies and shoes!
When we were leaving, Anya hugged and kissed both of us bye bye, and asked us to come back tomorrow. As she was walking back inside, we said, “I love you Anya!” She yelled back “I love you too Mama and Papa!”
Eyeglasses
While we were playing outside, Elana came out and gave me some children’s eyeglasses. She said that they were just delivered and were Anya’s. They are like coke bottles! I think either they don’t know how to test for vision problems, or they have seriously over corrected her eyes. Elana gave the glasses to me to keep for Anya, so I have the prescription that I am going to have translated. I don’t know if this kind of thing is universal or not. When we play with her, she doesn’t have any trouble reading or seeing the cards on the ‘match’ game we played. Her favorite things to do are to color, read a book or watch TV…when she put the glasses on, you could tell that she was a little wobbly-kneed.
If she does need that strong of a prescription, that is OK – her Mama is blind too!
Photos
We are able to take photos of Anya – I don’t know what all the hub bub was about the other day – but we are able to do that…yay!
My day in Russia…
For those of you who really know me, you will appreciate our day today.
We wake up to find that all the hot water is gone. Nothing, not even water pressure when you turn the faucets to hot. Well, one might ask, “how do you shower” – I’ll tell you. You need to heat up water in a teapot and in a regular pot on the stove. Then you pour it into a bucket, being careful not to splash your self with the scalding hot water. You ten transfer the bucket into the bathtub, and cool it with the freezing arctic water. Don’t forget your Plastic Moose cup to rinse with! Just like the Pioneers used to do!
In researching what the deal was with the water, we found out that all the hot water in the city is gone…no one has hot water. Apparently there is only 1 main line into Everyone’s home for hot water. Isn’t that nutty?!
So then we go to lunch. For those of you who were on this journey with us the first time, you know we got a big kick out of the “American” menus in restaurants. The translation wasn’t always so accurate, so what you actually got wasn’t usually what you thought you ordered.
So – we go to this new restaurant for lunch – it was called ‘Figgaro’ – basically a pasta and pizza joint. It is near the new European hotel, and boasts that they get a lot of international visitors…which is good because that means they have American menus. So I order what I thought was a small pizza with mushrooms, tomato and olive. Guess what I got? A small pizza with mushrooms, tomato, ham, bacon, sausage and peppers. You all know that I don’t eat meat, and if I do I will get very very sick – and am very freaky about meat touching the food I do eat. So – I am in a foreign country, can’t really send back what I ordered, need to eat something…what is a girl to do? She scrapes off all the topping (and I do mean ALL the topping) and just eats the crust!
2 days ago, it was nearly 80 degrees outside here – today, it snowed (kind of like at home! If you don’t like the weather, wait 15 minutes and it will change). I battled with what to pack for clothing, not knowing what the weather was going to be like. I errored on the side of the weather channel’s report that the low this week was going to be 50. So, what is a girl to do to stay warm? She wears her CAbi spa yoga pants with full length Spanx underneath for insulation (Spanx are a new now and wow term for girdle)…Toasty!
And the final great part of my day…when we got back to the orphanage this afternoon, I really needed to find the ‘ladies room’. Typically, I avoid public restrooms – especially in foreign countries. But – this was an emergency. Get this – there is no toilet seat…and they wipe with cut up pieces of scrap paper…like the kind we would cut up into squares for notes – left over paper from a printing job. The paper all had some kind of printing on it – like old reports they needed to shred, instead of shredding it became TP! Let me just tell you, that regular paper isn’t very absorbent!
We wake up to find that all the hot water is gone. Nothing, not even water pressure when you turn the faucets to hot. Well, one might ask, “how do you shower” – I’ll tell you. You need to heat up water in a teapot and in a regular pot on the stove. Then you pour it into a bucket, being careful not to splash your self with the scalding hot water. You ten transfer the bucket into the bathtub, and cool it with the freezing arctic water. Don’t forget your Plastic Moose cup to rinse with! Just like the Pioneers used to do!
In researching what the deal was with the water, we found out that all the hot water in the city is gone…no one has hot water. Apparently there is only 1 main line into Everyone’s home for hot water. Isn’t that nutty?!
So then we go to lunch. For those of you who were on this journey with us the first time, you know we got a big kick out of the “American” menus in restaurants. The translation wasn’t always so accurate, so what you actually got wasn’t usually what you thought you ordered.
So – we go to this new restaurant for lunch – it was called ‘Figgaro’ – basically a pasta and pizza joint. It is near the new European hotel, and boasts that they get a lot of international visitors…which is good because that means they have American menus. So I order what I thought was a small pizza with mushrooms, tomato and olive. Guess what I got? A small pizza with mushrooms, tomato, ham, bacon, sausage and peppers. You all know that I don’t eat meat, and if I do I will get very very sick – and am very freaky about meat touching the food I do eat. So – I am in a foreign country, can’t really send back what I ordered, need to eat something…what is a girl to do? She scrapes off all the topping (and I do mean ALL the topping) and just eats the crust!
2 days ago, it was nearly 80 degrees outside here – today, it snowed (kind of like at home! If you don’t like the weather, wait 15 minutes and it will change). I battled with what to pack for clothing, not knowing what the weather was going to be like. I errored on the side of the weather channel’s report that the low this week was going to be 50. So, what is a girl to do to stay warm? She wears her CAbi spa yoga pants with full length Spanx underneath for insulation (Spanx are a new now and wow term for girdle)…Toasty!
And the final great part of my day…when we got back to the orphanage this afternoon, I really needed to find the ‘ladies room’. Typically, I avoid public restrooms – especially in foreign countries. But – this was an emergency. Get this – there is no toilet seat…and they wipe with cut up pieces of scrap paper…like the kind we would cut up into squares for notes – left over paper from a printing job. The paper all had some kind of printing on it – like old reports they needed to shred, instead of shredding it became TP! Let me just tell you, that regular paper isn’t very absorbent!
Sunday, May 14, 2006
Monday in Irkutsk
Hello Everyone,
What a whirlwind of information we have going on here in Russia! We were not able to visit Anya yesterday (Sunday) so we met with our new facilitator to go over our documents. Thankfully, I created a set of documents for our copy -- I'm not sure where our original dossier is...but, what matters is that we're moving forward.
We need to redo several things, but nothing that is unmanageable. In going through everything (roughly 100+ documents), there were only 20 items that needed attention...and most of those were things like the license that we have from our doctors, CPA etc. The format that is required is now different (it is back to the way it was in the Fall - then it changed around Christmas again - now we're back to the original way - ugh!).
We are not allowed to take photographs of Anya. This is a new requirement/rule. We are going to meet with the director tomorrow and talk to her about this. We are required to have photographs of us with Anya for our court hearing, so not sure how that is supposed to happen if we are not allowed to take pictures. Luckily we have a photo album with tons of pics from previous visits - but the requirement is photos of each visit. Ahhh yes, the good 'ol Russian way!
We're also going to hire a teacher to help Anya with English - I think we will be meeting her tomorrow.
There are a lot of things going on behind the scenes here - most of which we were asked to keep confidential. At this point, we really don't want to jeopardize our chances of getting a court date - so we're going to keep things between us for now...as silly as it all seems. I hope you all understand this and respect that fact we just can't talk about it all right now...and we don't even know why.
We have been in prayers of surrender the past day. What we are doing here is a bold move, and our only chance and hope of being able to adopt Anya. The path that brought us here and led us to our new facilitator and legal team is no coincidence. The expertise the team has is specific to our situation - which is pretty amazing and NOT common at all. The group we're working with are all going out on a limb for us, for some reason...the only way to explain it is God. because we've come this far, and are knee deep in the last thing we can 'do'...we are already thanking God for His divine intervention and plan, and completely surrendering this whole process and experience to Him.
That's all I know or can talk about right now.
More later!
-Kathy
What a whirlwind of information we have going on here in Russia! We were not able to visit Anya yesterday (Sunday) so we met with our new facilitator to go over our documents. Thankfully, I created a set of documents for our copy -- I'm not sure where our original dossier is...but, what matters is that we're moving forward.
We need to redo several things, but nothing that is unmanageable. In going through everything (roughly 100+ documents), there were only 20 items that needed attention...and most of those were things like the license that we have from our doctors, CPA etc. The format that is required is now different (it is back to the way it was in the Fall - then it changed around Christmas again - now we're back to the original way - ugh!).
We are not allowed to take photographs of Anya. This is a new requirement/rule. We are going to meet with the director tomorrow and talk to her about this. We are required to have photographs of us with Anya for our court hearing, so not sure how that is supposed to happen if we are not allowed to take pictures. Luckily we have a photo album with tons of pics from previous visits - but the requirement is photos of each visit. Ahhh yes, the good 'ol Russian way!
We're also going to hire a teacher to help Anya with English - I think we will be meeting her tomorrow.
There are a lot of things going on behind the scenes here - most of which we were asked to keep confidential. At this point, we really don't want to jeopardize our chances of getting a court date - so we're going to keep things between us for now...as silly as it all seems. I hope you all understand this and respect that fact we just can't talk about it all right now...and we don't even know why.
We have been in prayers of surrender the past day. What we are doing here is a bold move, and our only chance and hope of being able to adopt Anya. The path that brought us here and led us to our new facilitator and legal team is no coincidence. The expertise the team has is specific to our situation - which is pretty amazing and NOT common at all. The group we're working with are all going out on a limb for us, for some reason...the only way to explain it is God. because we've come this far, and are knee deep in the last thing we can 'do'...we are already thanking God for His divine intervention and plan, and completely surrendering this whole process and experience to Him.
That's all I know or can talk about right now.
More later!
-Kathy
Saturday, May 13, 2006
In Irkutsk
Hello All -
We're here, just got home from Shelekov. It is nice, but very different from BH2 where Anya was before. Anya is so big now!
Anya remembered us right away, came right up to me and sat on my lap to tell me about some bad boy in her group...then She started crying because we were speaking English...so we switched to Russian and she was OK.
We're both very tired, and need to sleep. It's Saturday 7pm here, and we haven't slept outside of an airplane since Wednesday night.
More later...
Kathy and Marty
Thursday, May 11, 2006
on our way
Well, we're off. Currently we're at the tail end of our 6 hour layover in New York...we were here about 4 hours before we realized that the airport gate area is a WiFi hot zone (in other words, we can get online). Our flight to Moscow leaves in about an hour and 1/2...and we're both very glad. Since we only were able to sleep about 3 hours last night - it'll be nice to nap.
The only catastrophe so far has been with my hairspray. Yes, it happened...somehow the squirter was squirting all over the inside of my carry on, and now my laptop smells like Aveda Firmata hairspray.
I'll post a note as soon as we're able to get settled in at the apartment in Irkutsk (probably not until Sunday).
Wednesday, May 10, 2006
Update
Hello All - Several friends have asked for an update...so here it goes. There is not much to say! Everything seems to be working out exactly the way it should. We spent Monday in Indianapolis getting last minute things apostilled at the State House.
Of course I have a really neat tension headache that goes from my eyebrow to my shoulder....but this is OK. My to-do lists are shrinking - and the only things we have yet to do tomorrow is get some cash, deal with Power of Atty., and pack. But I am sure that I will think of more things I need to do before we leave Thursday morning.
Thanks to everyone who has been and is praying for us. This is a huge leap of Faith...but, I've said it before and I'll say it again - God is bigger than all of us, and His perfect plan will play out regardless of what anyone does.
It's hard to believe that on Saturday we'll get to see our little Anya again?!
Of course I have a really neat tension headache that goes from my eyebrow to my shoulder....but this is OK. My to-do lists are shrinking - and the only things we have yet to do tomorrow is get some cash, deal with Power of Atty., and pack. But I am sure that I will think of more things I need to do before we leave Thursday morning.
Thanks to everyone who has been and is praying for us. This is a huge leap of Faith...but, I've said it before and I'll say it again - God is bigger than all of us, and His perfect plan will play out regardless of what anyone does.
It's hard to believe that on Saturday we'll get to see our little Anya again?!
Thursday, May 04, 2006
Wailing Wall
I was going through old email tonight, and came across this note from a good friend, Wes Smith. A few months ago, he placed a prayer for us in the Wailing Wall* in Jerusalem. Here is what he said:
Dear Marty and Kathy, Wow! The Lord is really working for you with the old time miracles. Of course, this is the kind of God he is, this God of the Bible. He always blows our minds with his power. Each time I have placed a slip of paper (prayer request) into a crack of the Kotel (Wailing Wall, Western Wall) miracles happen. So God is looking after Anya, as he promises so many times to plead the cause of widows and orphans.
Keep praying for a miracle!
*for more info on Wailing Wall visit http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wailing_Wall
Dear Marty and Kathy, Wow! The Lord is really working for you with the old time miracles. Of course, this is the kind of God he is, this God of the Bible. He always blows our minds with his power. Each time I have placed a slip of paper (prayer request) into a crack of the Kotel (Wailing Wall, Western Wall) miracles happen. So God is looking after Anya, as he promises so many times to plead the cause of widows and orphans.
Keep praying for a miracle!
*for more info on Wailing Wall visit http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wailing_Wall
Wednesday, May 03, 2006
Ever had one of those days when, at the end of the day, you finally take a deep breath - and realize that you have been running all day and haven't really breathed? Welcome to my Wednesday!
We decided today that we need to go to Indianapolis on Monday to get some documents apostilled. It will probably be good to be forced into the car for the drive down there...to sit still. Part of me thinks I can afford to do this like I can afford a hole in the head!
We decided today that we need to go to Indianapolis on Monday to get some documents apostilled. It will probably be good to be forced into the car for the drive down there...to sit still. Part of me thinks I can afford to do this like I can afford a hole in the head!
postings
Hello everyone. I've gotten a lot of email from you saying you check this blog frequently. Feel free to post back! You can respond to any post we've made here.
Calling all prayer warriors
Most of you know that we are leaving for Irkutsk, Russia next week to explore different avenues for bringing Anya home. We will be gone for at least two weeks.
What is going on reminds me of Sanballat* trying to discourage Nehemiah from building the wall. We are not dissuaded by this. Our concern is for Anya and Anya only. The main reason we are going is to make contact with another Russian adoption coordinator and to make contact with a Russian attorney. It remains to be seen whether we will actually bring her home this trip. However, we know that God is in complete control! Contrary to reports about the devil, the Lord Jesus is alive and well in Irkutsk! The last time I read my Bible, the devil runs from him!
We're still leaving on the 11th of next week. Your prayers are deeply appreciated!
* And when Sanballat the Horonite, and Tobijah the servant, the Ammonite, heard [of it], it grieved them exceedingly that there had come a man to seek the welfare of the children of Israel.
[Nehemiah 2;10]
Best Regards,Marty W. Friend
Thursday, April 27, 2006
Anniversary
It just occurred to me in church tonight, that the day we leave for Russia will be the 7th Anniversary of the first date I had with Marty!
Symbolism...or coincidence?
Symbolism...or coincidence?
Wednesday, April 26, 2006
Dirty Green Monster
Yes, this is the dirty Green Monster post...
I am worrying about finances. I don't know what is going to be expected of us (in terms of money) if we move to an accredited agency. I hope we don't lose everything we've paid thus far and have to start over. God has been so good! He has provided in ways we would have NEVER imagined. I just don't want to incur any MORE debt. If anyone has any ideas for fundraiser, let me know!
I am worrying about finances. I don't know what is going to be expected of us (in terms of money) if we move to an accredited agency. I hope we don't lose everything we've paid thus far and have to start over. God has been so good! He has provided in ways we would have NEVER imagined. I just don't want to incur any MORE debt. If anyone has any ideas for fundraiser, let me know!
Wednesday, April 19, 2006
gearing up to go to Russia...
Hi Friends,
Just wanted to give you an update on how things are going in Irkutsk. We spent a lot of time praying last week, trying to see what our next step was supposed to be with the adoption. We were faithful and really listened to what He was saying...and we are very glad we did!
We've booked a flight to go to Irkutsk from May 11 - 24th. We were able to get flights using our frequent flyer miles all the way into Irkutsk (an AMAZING thing in and of itself!). When I first called Delta, the cost was going to be $2000 a ticket- and that was only to Moscow - to get to Irkutsk was going to be another $300-$400! Well, because of the generosity of time of my best friend's step mother (who is a travel agent) we were able to get tickets round trip for only $80! Yes, that is a total of $160! YAHOOEY!
We also found out that we are not going to be owing any taxes, in fact we will be getting a sizeable refund this year! This will help us a big way on our trip. I also had a killer month with CAbi (yes, I took on a second job as a clothing sales rep), so those commissions will be coming at exactly the right time. This is all such a blessing since we had a client file bankruptcy on us at the beginning of this year - that put a financial strain on us that we were not anticipating.
On Thursday night, I got information that the Judge has accepted the documents (thereby granting a court date) to American families. This is a GIANT step forward for us. I also was able to get confirmation that Anya has moved to the new orphanage (actually, it is called a Children's Home or Detsky Dohm) in Shelekov. [UPDATE: the documents were submitted and have since been rejected. So no court date was granted. Also on the one famil who was to get a court date ... the Judge found a statement in that families state adoption law that said 'family must be in custody of child to adopt them' - so thier case was thrown out...the Judge said that the adoption would not be legal in the US]
God is good!
In my experience with adoption, now in the 19th month, I have learned nothing happens to move you forward, without something happening to set you back. So, we are having trouble getting our documents moved to an accredited agency. [UPDATE: there will probably not be any accredited agencies in Irkutsk after this month, so, we've decided to take another route...that being without an agency i.e. with a lawyer in Russia, we'll see how this goes]
Thanks (again) for your prayers for us!
-Kathy & Marty
Just wanted to give you an update on how things are going in Irkutsk. We spent a lot of time praying last week, trying to see what our next step was supposed to be with the adoption. We were faithful and really listened to what He was saying...and we are very glad we did!
We've booked a flight to go to Irkutsk from May 11 - 24th. We were able to get flights using our frequent flyer miles all the way into Irkutsk (an AMAZING thing in and of itself!). When I first called Delta, the cost was going to be $2000 a ticket- and that was only to Moscow - to get to Irkutsk was going to be another $300-$400! Well, because of the generosity of time of my best friend's step mother (who is a travel agent) we were able to get tickets round trip for only $80! Yes, that is a total of $160! YAHOOEY!
We also found out that we are not going to be owing any taxes, in fact we will be getting a sizeable refund this year! This will help us a big way on our trip. I also had a killer month with CAbi (yes, I took on a second job as a clothing sales rep), so those commissions will be coming at exactly the right time. This is all such a blessing since we had a client file bankruptcy on us at the beginning of this year - that put a financial strain on us that we were not anticipating.
On Thursday night, I got information that the Judge has accepted the documents (thereby granting a court date) to American families. This is a GIANT step forward for us. I also was able to get confirmation that Anya has moved to the new orphanage (actually, it is called a Children's Home or Detsky Dohm) in Shelekov. [UPDATE: the documents were submitted and have since been rejected. So no court date was granted. Also on the one famil who was to get a court date ... the Judge found a statement in that families state adoption law that said 'family must be in custody of child to adopt them' - so thier case was thrown out...the Judge said that the adoption would not be legal in the US]
God is good!
In my experience with adoption, now in the 19th month, I have learned nothing happens to move you forward, without something happening to set you back. So, we are having trouble getting our documents moved to an accredited agency. [UPDATE: there will probably not be any accredited agencies in Irkutsk after this month, so, we've decided to take another route...that being without an agency i.e. with a lawyer in Russia, we'll see how this goes]
Thanks (again) for your prayers for us!
-Kathy & Marty
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