It bothers me the things Anya is allowed to do – which is stupid. She is a smart, responsible little girl. It bothers me that she is allowed to run hither and yon throughout the orphanage. She is allowed to unlock doors at will, she is allowed to turn on and off, plug in and unplug TVs etc. Maybe this all b others me because I have not been the one to set those boundaries with her. I did tell her that she should never touch the plugs – it will hurt her hand (well, I think that is what I told her). I don’t know if she understood me. It also bothers me when she does something wrong, and I get stern and say ‘no, that is not OK’ – she laughs. But – through the giggles, she does stop whatever she was doing I didn’t think was OK.
I should be clear – Anya’s idea of not behaving is standing on the sofa with her shoes on…or jumping on a chair (ya I know, she is a real rebel!) – Basically, her ‘misbehaving’ is more my over-protective mother ways trying to save her from herself.
I know I am going to be overprotective. I know I am going to be one of those Moms who wants to do it all for her little girl. I know I can’t…but I want to. I was never able to rock her to sleep as a baby, put a band aid on her knee when she fell as a toddler, babied her when she had chicken pox, calmed her fears when she went to the eye doctor or got shots. Part of me thinks I am due to baby her a bit. And I know I shouldn’t…I don’t want to be one of those Moms who turns her child into a demanding brat. I want to be one of those Moms who shows her child the right things to do, who thinks of others, who is courteous, who is thoughtful, who loved God, who loves her friends…and of course who respects and loves her mama and papa.
1 comment:
Ah, so Anya is alot like Harry in more ways than I imagined. He too is allowed to have privileges that you wouldn't think possible - given what a structured life these kids lead. It always amazed me when the caregivers would hand him a key to the locked outdoor "Shed" in his groups play area so he could get to toys/bikes/etc.
And the laughing when told not to do something "dangerous", drove me nuts.
But you are right - since we missed out on all the "firsts" in these kids lives, we tend to try and reclaim them in whatever ways possible - much to the kids' dismay. Now here's the part I don't understand. Inside the building Harry REFUSED to hold my hand if walking up/down stairs or to the playground. "I'm a big boy" was always his response. Yet, if we were out for a walk - he insisted on holding my hand...go figure!
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