some the madness!

So, I have been tracking our package with the updated documents. We had about 10 days to come up with the Judge's latest requests...we did it. The documents got to where they needed to be...and then we got the call. The Secretary of State's office had messed up the apostille (certification) of all of the documents.

I'm not kidding.

I called the SOS's office to see what could be done, and it seems that they can't just give me new forms and seals, they need the original documents. Makes sense, I guess.

So I had the distinct pleasure of redoing EVERY SINGLE DOCUMENT today. The good news is that I am going to be in Indy on Monday anyway, so I can get them re apostilled.

The bad news is that this means we are forced to get an extension from the Judge. We've never had to do this before, and I don't know how this is going to make us look. I am a little concerned about it all.

Will keep you all posted!

Sweet Brit

It's happened 3 times to friends in the recent past. I swear, each time - it gets harder, not easier. When it has happened before, I didn't know what to do. I remember one time, I made homemade fudge. I don't know why - it seemed like the right things to do. Another time, I made chips and salsa...I always send flowers...but it is impossible to find the right kind of arrangement. Nothing seems to fit, be right, be exactly what I am looking for.


One time I wasn't here - I was in Russia. That was hard - I wanted to DO something, wanted to be there...whatever that means. I remember feeling horribly guilty that I was in Russia.


It happened again...



I am without words, without witty repartee, can't come up with a grand idea to make things better. I wish I had some kind of Godly wisdom that I could spout that would be so profound, so life-giving it would somehow cover the pain.



I wish I had answers, could point a finger, blame someone...



I wish it was a dream, that I'll wake up and look at the clock and think to myself, "wow, that was a horrible dream!"

All I have is prayer, and my heart. I wonder if trying to lovingly pray someone through a wicked time is enough. I wish I could let my heart run a ticker tape - then those who are mourning could see what I am really feeling, what I wish I could say to their faces...I hate it that all I can do is offer a hug and 'that look'. That stupid look...the one that says "I am so sorry, I have no idea what to say to you".


I don't know why children are taken. I can't sit here and spout some kind nonsense like "it's part of God's plan" (although, we all know it is). Sometimes your head knows things that your heart doesn't 'get'. This is one of those things, I just don't get.


Why is a child given to parents. Why is that child stricken with a horrid disease. Why does this child impact so many people in such a profound way...why was her time on this earth so short?

I think times like this, we remember with heavy hearts, and we try to be strong for those left behind. That is what I've tried to do...tried to not cry, try to be a pillar of silent strength...then hang up the phone and sob.

I wish I knew her better. I'll never forget the love she had for her Dad; the bond they had was a beautiful obvious thing. I won't soon forget the strong will that I saw in her eyes.

Cancer is a horrible thing. It destroys. It took Brit at the age of 17...it was too soon.

I pray that Brit's Dad and her family can draw strength from our Savior. Brit is now in His all powerful, all Loving, healing care. I am sure that our Father in Heaven holds sweet Brit in the palm of his hand, while she listens to her loud scream-y music, and paints her fingernails another new shade of black.

I think I will paint my toenails black - I bet she'd get a kick out of that.

now that I've calmed down...

Last Monday, we got another legal statement from the Judge in Russia...yes, ANOTHER statement. I 've lost track of how many this is, maybe 6 or 7? It is still beyond me what in the world there could be to say about our documents...that hasn't already been said.

But apparently there is plenty to say - 10 pages worth!

When I heard there was 10 pages, I didn't take it well. I actually ignored it, and pretended like it wasn't happening for a few days.

Now that I've calmed down, have had a chance to think about what is really being asked - it is manageable. Most of the 10 pages are things that need to happen with our coordinator in Russia. There are 15 things we need to take care of...and of course, we have about 5 days to take care of it.

Some of these things are crazy. In our homestudy etc., there is a description of our home. The description states our house has X number of rooms. So the Judge wants a photo of every single room. Pictures of the bathrooms, my messy office. FINE! I'll do it!

The Judge says that she can't read the documents because of the way some of the things were apostilled...apparently the staple covered a word or two. FINE! I will redo that for the billionth time.

The Judge also made a comment that some of the notaries signed the documents saying "signed and sworn before me"...the Judge's comment was 'who is me'. Are you kidding? FINE! I will redo those too.

Our marriage licence from Florida is a certified copy. As I am sure you all know, certified copies have someones signature. The Judge want some kind of verification of the person's authority to certify this license. Now mind you, none of the other things that are certified copies seem to be requiring this, just the one thing that is from Florida. FINE! I will figure it out.

There are some issues with our homestudy agency, and wording in what they have provided. FINE! I will kiss up to the agency who is so sick and tired of dealing with us and this mess. I will drive to Indianapolis, incur another $300 to have documents changed, I will try to obtain certified copies of the agencies license going back to 2005. FINE!

Basically, from here, this is what will happen:

1. We give all of the requirements to the Judge before Sep. 21 deadline.
2. If the judge rejects papers saying we did not meet her requirements, then we appeal immediately

Ya - I guess I am still irritated about this document thing...but I'll do it.

meet Spencer Gregory

Meet baby Spencer Gregory. He is the son of one of my long time BFFs. This is the closest I will ever be to being a newborns mommy. Let me say that holding this precious miracle, and knowing what it took to bring him into this world...took my breath away.

If the hospital room hadn't been filled with people I didn't know, I am sure I would have been a blubbering mess.

Little Spencer is about a week old today. Crazy how time flies. Next he will be saying Mommy and Daddy, then he will be standing, then walking...the next thing I know my friend will be calling me to tell me that Spencer is getting married.

He is a solid reminder. Tangible proof of God's unending Love. His Love is a "no matter what" kind of deal...and I think that is pretty cool. Not until you hold a baby do you understand that kind of love...I didn't get that until Anya walked into the room for the first time - that is when I looked into her precious eyes and thought to myself "no matter what".

I guess I will let my friend be a Mommy to sweet Spencer...stealing him under the cover of darkness is probably wrong :( - let me leave you with a photo of Spencer with his real Mommy:

the outcome of Perspective and an update

I thought I would update you on a few of the things mentioned in the Perspective post. So many of you have been praying...I want you to know that your prayers are working!

• My friend who found herself as the caregiver for her father. Well - a miracle has happened. Nursing homes that generally have a wait list of 10-12 months suddenly had an immediate opening. Her father had to qualify in several areas in order for her to be able to afford care like this - and he qualified in every category. PRAYERS ANSWERED!
• My friend with the teenage daughter with cancer. Yesterday, I was very worried about her. Her blood counts were not good...not good at all. I prayed over this all last night and today. For some reason, I was praying for her number to be 675 (which is funny, because I don't even understand anything about blood counts etc.). Well, today, her counts increased SEVERAL hundred, and were 675! Now, if they can get her fever down, and keep it down for 48 hours, she can go home! PRAYERS ANSWERED!
• My friend with the bum knee is back to her normal self...running and kind of jumping :) PRAYERS ANSWERED!
• My fashioney-friend who was having health issues has found the root of her problems. PRAYERS ANSWERED!

There are so many other prayers that have been answered recently. A friend who is adopting in Russia has a court date on September 10th. I am SO happy for her, and can't wait for the end of her journey.

We got some news about the adoption this week. Things are moving - not fast, but they are moving. The Judge has done enough wrong that is documented now that we have a strong case to be able to appeal and complain to the Russian Supreme Court. I don't know if we will have to do that - but am glad we have whatever we need to be able to do that.

We got a note today telling us that indeed, Anya has been moved to the new orphanage...the new place is in Shelechov (the same town). It was strongly suggested that we come for a visit to meet the new director.

The thing with Russian adoption is that there are basically 2 people who determine your fate. The director of the orphanage, and the prosecutor. Funny, huh? The director can make your life miserable, shop your child out to Russian families who are looking to foster a child (i.e. get government money)...or, the director can love you, and see that you and your child are a perfect family. Luckily - the later has been our experience. I don't know this new director, and it is freaking me out. If God knows that I need to go...then I am confident that He will make a way for me to go.

So that's all I know for now. I am trying to not be consumed by what is happening in Russia that I can not control or influence.