more questions answered part 7

What other vocab do you wish you'd learned?
Every now and again, I think it might have been helpful to learn more of the Russian alphabet – but really, it is very much like the Greek alphabet (so, all those years in a sorority HAVE paid off!). But really, that wouldn’t be that helpful. Most signs etc. here have Roman and Cyrillic lettering now days.


WHAT DO YOU MISS THE MOST ABOUT HOME?
Now that we’re on our way home, I will tell you that what I’ve missed most has changed. It seems every day, every week I missed something different.

Aside from the obvious (I miss my house, my cats, my stuff, my friends, my family bla bla bla) The things I missed most:
1. Convenience and ease of things. Everything in Russia is hard. It is the way of life, and is ingrained into the very being of who Russia is and what makes up the Russian people. Or rather, my perception of things in Russia is hard. It is hard to do a load of laundry. Hard to get anything done (you can’t just go to an office and have something done in one day). In Russia, we had to shop for our food every day. Nothing in the stores (generally) is prepackaged for convenience like at home – everything (again, generally) is made from scratch. We had to walk everywhere, therefore our “community” was as far-reaching as we could walk. If we needed something, we had to figure out a way to ask for it, using the limited vocabulary we know – or, use sign language.

2. Church. I miss out church and the people there. I miss the freedom to worship as we do at home. I miss the teaching at our church; understanding what is being said in church.

3. My attitude. Me in Russia isn’t really ‘me’. I am cynical. I walk down the street with a hard edge about me. I try to not smile. Smiling in Russia can be seen as a sign of ignorance. I felt like I always had to have my guard up…always had to be looking for people that were trying to take advantage of us. Lack of sleep (good sleep), lack of meals and food that we are used to, and a complete change of the way we go about our day takes a took on me.

4. Manners. I miss manners as we know them at home. Russian culture is very different than ours, therefore the things we might see as rude is as it is in Russia.

more questions answered part 6

WHAT IS A TYPICAL DAY LIKE FOR YOU THERE?

Typically, we start waking up at about 7-7:30. Anya will get up, go and get a book, or flash cards, and we stay in bed until about 8-8:30 with her reading or going over flash cards. Recently the flash cards are math ones.

Get up, have breakfast: oatmeal, cereal, toast and eggs. Pretty normal stuff

We check email, deal with work issues while Anya colors or watches a cartoon (was Winnie Pooh, but we've moved on to Tom and Jerry)

Then it's chore time: do the morning dishes, throw in a load of laundry, sweep the floors (Anya's favorite shore), make the beds.

Then I get ready for the day, and get Anya dressed.

Finish chores and start lunch.

Lunch has been everything from hot dogs and mashed potatoes to soup. Sometimes peanut butter and jelly.

After lunch, we go walking. Usually for at least 2 hours. Depending on the weather and they day, it may be longer. Sometimes we go out for lunch, but not very often.

Late afternoon, we get back to the apartment. Anya will work on alphabet sometimes, other times we play a few games of Uno.

Then it's time to start dinner. We try to eat dinner at about 6:30 or 7. Generally we'll have something like beef or chicken stew, or hamburgers with fries. Depending on my mood and what is in the fridge, we've been known to have soup or hot dogs for dinner too.

After dinner, Anya will watch some cartoons while we clean up the dinner dishes. We were having her help us, but the kitchen is so small, that wasn't working AT ALL.

Then we deal with any remaining laundry that needs to be dealt with. Anya helps.

Then bath time - and bed time. We try to do bath at 8:00, and bed at 9:00. I know bedtime seems late, but if we put her to bed any earlier, she is up at 6:30. The days are long enough, we certainly don't want to get up any earlier to prolong them!

Then we do more internet junk, sometimes if we're feeling especially adventurous, we'll eat a cookie or two (haha!). Then we watch an episode of Eureka. It is a series on the SiFi channel, something we both like, so we purchased 3 seasons to watch while we are here. We only have one episode left - which means it is time to come home!

So, there ya go!

image from: http://behance.vo.llnwd.net

more questions answered part 6

Does she call you Mommy?

This was such a good question, I am pushing it ahead of the other questions in line.

The answer - yes. She started calling me Mommy or Mamaichika last year. She does call me Mama too. It does depend on the situation. Generally, I am still Mama - unless she is telling me she loves me, then it is Mommy. Tonight in the bath, she was trying to get me to agree that she could have popcorn, and I actually got a 'Mom'. Where that came from, I don't know! It was probably a 1/2 baked Mama.

more questions answered part 4

Since the answer to this question is long...I thought I'd only bore you with one Q&A this round.


START TO FINSH, CAN YOU OFFER A TIMELINE?
Hummmm – I’ll try, this is all from memory (deep breath)

July 2004 Homestudy, contracted with agency
July 2004 referral
September 2004 received travel dates
October 2004 Trip 1 to Russia to meet Anya

March 2005 visit Anya
July 2005 the world stopped when Nina Hilt was killed

May 2006 trip to visit Anya, and figure out another way to bring her home
June 2006 – December 2006 our documents were submitted to the Judge in Irkutsk 2 times, and we received 2 legal statements (if I remember, they were like 30-40 pages long). During this time, we also obtained updates on our homestudy.

August 2007 trip to visit Anya
August 2007 – December 2007 resubmitted documents to the court in Irkutsk. Judge refused to accept (or even look at) our documents…more updates on our homestudy.

January 2008 we begin to consider taking our case to the Supreme Court. After much talk and prayer, we determined we didn’t have a strong enough case against the regional Judge ye t. We needed more in writing (most of her comments / refusals up to this point were verbal). Spoke with our social worker, she created an update for our homestudy in order to keep it active. Also applied for an extension to our I600a INS approval.
December 2008 another visit with Anya, and a firm game plan is established to submit our documents to the court

January 2009 round 1 of our completed documents are submitted to the court – a new Homestudy was completed (from scratch…yep, scratch is EXPENSIVE!)
February 2009 legal statement given, with changes / revisions requested – a new I600a approval is given from the INS
March 2009 updated documents sent and resubmitted to court
May 2009 another legal statement
June 2009 more updates sent to Russia
August 2009 another legal statement
September 2009 more updates
October 2009 another legal statement (this one MUCH more promising)
November 2009 more updates, and a meeting was called from the Judge. Judge said that she wants to give us a court date, there were a few minor technical things that needed to be dealt with in our documents…with that, she would give a court date
December 2009 – updated documents sent

January 15, 2010 a court date was given
February 7, 2010 we leave South Bend…
February 9, 2010 we arrive in Irkutsk
February 16, 2010 day 1 in court
February 17, 2010 day 2 in court – adoption is granted
February 19, 2010 the final decree is filed with the court in Irkutsk
March 2, 2010 we are able to take custody of Anya
March 9, 2010 Adoption certificate available – we go and get it
March 10, 2010 Apply for new birth certificate, and have Anya’s passport photo taken
March 11, 2010 Apply for passport

more questions answered part 3

What toys & activities have been real winners?
So far, she loves anything with a ball. Just a ball to play catch with, or a ball and hand racket kind of thing she loves.

Also really likes games – like Candy Land, Uno.

She is loving Winnie Pooh DVDs (the weird Russian version, and the normal red-shirt wearing Pooh version) – which is a great “quiet down” thing. We made the mistake (not sure if it is a mistake or not…) of letting her play with Marty’s IPod Touch. That is a favorite too. All the games she likes, and really enjoys listening to music. How she can find the songs on there she likes is beyond me! He has HUNDREDS of albums on his IPod, but she somehow finds Hillsong and an old REM song every time!

What do you wish you'd brought?
The things I wish I would have brought with me are more for my comfort than anything else. More body lotion, a tunic (I live in tunics and leggings / jeans at home), another skirt, a purse (just brought a big tote and a little LITTLE purse). I wish I would have brought more hair things for Anya. I thought I had more, but the night before we were leaving and I was doing last minute packing, I realized I didn’t have as many as I thought. Need more bows!

There are things I am very glad I brought with me…Aveda Night Nutrients – wouldn’t leave home with out it! Especially in this weather (skin saver!). Also glad I brought bath gel and lotion for Anya. She loves that part of the nightly routine.


What fun toys/activities have you obtained in Irkutsk?
We haven’t purchased anything here. The toys are SO expensive! I take that back…we’ve purchased some coloring books. Anya likes coloring too (and so do I!). We’ve been blessed and been able to borrow some things to pay with from the Jackson’s. I (mistakenly) thought that there would be some things in the apartment to play with – but there isn’t anything here.


What Russian vocab have you found very helpful and use all the time?
It is amazing what comes back to you when you are here. At home, I have trouble coming up with Russian things to say – but here, I can communicate OK with Anya and anyone in a store or café. The most important thing I say is “I don’t understand in Russian, do you speak English?”. With my limited understanding of Russian and sign language – we get around OK. The only challenge is at the grocery store – again, thank God for the Jackson’s!

When we first started this journey, we purchased a Russian Language CD for adoption. It has proven VERY helpful, and offers enough basics to get around – and words that you can use to build on.

more questions answered

I'd love to hear about her bedroom!
Lots of photos of her bedroom are out there. It’s all light pink and lime green. Stripes, polka dots and flowers. Her room has been done for about 5 years now!




How often did Anya get out of the orphanage, if ever?
When she was in the Detski Dom (Children’s Home), she rarely left. Generally only for specialized doctor appointments. The children went to camp for a week in the summer, and there was some kind of singing / poetry competition once a year that was held in the city. That was about it.

The orphanage she was most recently at was a little different. She went to a traditional school, so every day – she was in school with other kids in the city. On Wednesday nights, she went to Luda’s home for a Bible Study…all this in addition to doctor appointments and so on. Her time out of the orphanage wasn’t great, but she did know there was more to the world than the walls of the orphanage.


How long will you be able to take off work?
Well, we both are essentially self employed, so we can kinda do whatever we want to! Technically we both are still working while we are here. We both take an hour or so a day to keep in touch with clients, try to get appointments set etc. for when we get back. I have a pretty big project (giant fashion show) on April 22 – so I am working on that while I am here.

How do you/how soon do you - hope to integrate Anya into socializing with American kiddos? Gymnastics? Soccer? Sunday School?
We go to a big church, with lots (and I mean LOTS) of friends with kids her age. So as soon as we’re able to get up and around after we get home, we’ll be at church. Depending on when we get home, we may put her in school yet this semester. She is already signed up for a day camp the end of June (through our church).

Anya has already been playing with our friend’s kids here. We’ve been to their house 2 times over the past week to play.


What was Anya's reaction and what did she say when you told her that everything had gone thru and you were really and truly "Mama and Pappa", and she was finally going to leave the orphanage with the both of you forever?
We didn’t tell her. The director of the orphanage did. When we got to the orphanage to pick her up, she knew she was going with us, and was more than ready to go with us!

She is old enough, that I think she understood what was going on – one of the benefits of adopting an older child! Younger children can’t understand, and can be terribly scared of this big change. Anya has known us her whole life, so going with us (and trusting us) wasn’t an issue. We truly are blessed with her transition!