Praying - Part 6

Yes, we continue to pray for our friend who are in the middle of the hardest court case in the HISTORY of court cases!

After (I think) 6 weeks, my friend has decided to come home. The court has indicated they will get a final hearing in December - so at that time, My friend, her husband and their son will again travel back to Irkutsk.

I can't imagine being there for 6 weeks. I would go crazy! I love visiting Anya, but honestly, after about 10 days - 2 weeks, I am SO READY to come home. Maybe it is a culture shock thing, or a homesick thing - I'm not sure. It is totally exhausting to be in a place where everything you say needs to be translated - where your every move with your child is watched, and you can't interact or discipline your child as you would at home...you're not eating like you should - or the things your body is used to.

So - pray for my friend. That she has a safe flight home, and that all of the pieces of the puzzle come together for her families return in December.

stories of adoption - a must read!

Hello All,

I would like to share a link to a blog I frequent. The writer is a mom to an adopted child - and is writing stories of adoption...those who were adopted, those who are adopting, those who have adopted.

I found the stories that have been posted thus far to be uplifitng and very interesting. I encourage you to visit the site - and pass along the link to those in your individual adoption communities. http://straightfromtheheart.typepad.com/

To all the PAPs out there

Or anyone who has been a PAP!

I am working on another adoption story for Blissfully Domestic. One thought - I am so glad that magazine is so much more than just recipes, cleaning tips and money saving ideas!

Anyway - the story I am working on is advice. Advice for anyone in the initial stages of adoption, or considering adoption. I am sure there are things we all wish someone would have told us BEFORE we took that first step. What is your advice?

For me, I wish someone would have pushed us to start 2 months earlier. If we would have, Anya would be home.

Thought of the day

Isn't it funny (and kind of great) how God will bring a song, or an email - or something to you - that says exactly what you need to hear at the perfect time?

What NOT to say to a pre-adoptive parent

FOREWARD - a year or so ago, I wrote a post about the things people say to us as PAPs. I took that blog entry, edited it - and submitted it to Blissfully Domestic (a great online magazine). It was published this week.

It is funny the things people say to you when you are part of an adopted-family. Things people would never say to someone who was pregnant - or who had birthed a child.





The good-intentioned comments can be naive, and quite honestly cold-hearted. In the 4 years we’ve been on an adoption journey, we’ve had some crazy things said to us. Most aren’t mean-spirited, many made me take a step back and say “huh“, and others truly left me speechless.




When we started out to adopt a child from Russia, we never imagined we would be sitting here, 4+ years later, waiting for a court date. To answer the questions I know will come:


1. Yes - we know the child. We met her when she was 2 - now she is 6.
2. Yes - we plan on seeing this through to the end.
3. No - we will not stop the battle to bring her home.
4. Yes - we have met her, we travel to Russia every year to see her; and communicate with her via email, letters and phone calls.




I want to share some things people have said to us - not to laugh as much as to educate. The adoption process is a very personal, very emotional pregnancy. For me, I’ve been “pregnant” (or as they say in the adoption community - ‘paperwork pregnant’) for over 4 years.



To read the rest of the story, go HERE.

Plea to help our friends in Irkutsk

Hello friends,

I have a plea. As many of you know, we’ve been on a fight (with several other families) to bring our DD home from Irkutsk for over 4 years. One of the other families who is fighting with us has been able to get a court date in Russia…this is HUGE because the Judge in that region has not granted an American a court date since 2005.

This family went to court a few weeks ago, and after 8hours, they were told the hearing was postponed. They went back to court this week, and after many more hours and many not-so-common in-court occurances – the case was again postponed. I don’t want to go into great detail here, but know the reason the case was postponed is crazy! And has nothing to do with the child, or this family.

So, this family will need to go back to court for a 3rd time. Of course they have incurred incredible expense in this process…and more than anyone ever anticipated on this trip. They had to change return flights home – to the tune of over $2,000!

The stress this family is under is enormous. The outcome of their case will pave the way for so many other American families who are waiting to bring children home from this region.

The husband will return home to work, but will be required to go back for the 3rd court hearing (that will happen in 4-6 weeks). The wife is staying in the region (too expensive to fly home, and then back again).

We are confident that this family will be successful, and they will be able to bring their DS home…but not until they have suffered and endured more than any of us could imagine.

I want to help them, and this is why I am posting this note.

I am begging any of you who have frequent flyer miles or AmEx (or other) points to spare – please help this family. The thousands and thousands of dollars they have spent – and are going to spend – on airline tickets is overwhelming. If we can help them ease this burden in the slightest – I know it will mean EVERYTHING to this family.

Please email me if you are able to help…

Thank you in advance for your big hearts…

BAH

Irritated with email!

OK, I have to vent. My email has been acting up. For the past month (or so), I have been getting no less than 400-500 spams a day (yes, that is HUNDRED!).

Well, the spam stopped...and so did my emails! I have had numerous people call me to ask why I never responded to their email messages...well, I NEVER got them!

UGH!

Since the majority of my business is done online, this really worries me - I wonder what I've missed? If a new client would email me, there is no way I would know about it - and now they think that I blew them off. NOT good for business!

Apparently I can 'white list' my client emails - but they have to be done one-by-one (and I have over 750).

OK, I feel better now...just needed to vent.

Praying - Part 5

Unbelievable.




The Judge in Irkutsk postponed...AGAIN!





Here is what I know...


The Judge asked for the bio mother to show up - this isn't uncommon. The bio mother didn't show up - saying she had an emergency with another child.



The Judge also called for the Russian families who rejected Harry to show up. She called for 8, 2 showed up. Apparently one of the men was NOT HAPPY he was called. The 2 families were grilled about why they didn't choose this child (but, they did choose another child...I don't know if this is even legal! Russian adoptions are 'closed' and pretty hush hush...)



So, the Judge decided that she was going to postpone, because of the 6 families that didn't show up, and the bio mother.

The Judge is forcing the mother to make a statement as to her feelings on an American family adopting the child.



All of this could take 4-6 weeks.



As for our friends...they are spent. That is the only word I can come up with. They were to return to Moscow today for the last portion of this journey. Of course, they will need to change travel plans.



Being in Irkutsk is expensive. Traveling there is expensive. They are trying to make decisions on staying, going home, sending the Mr. home to work - and then come back...too many decisions to make on a weary and tired brain.



Of course, at this point, there is nothing to appeal - since no decision has been made.

I am furious to tears. I can not believe this...




I will be sending out an adoption newsletter to my 'big list' of contacts...begging for prayer in this situation. There is so much to pray about today, with the election coming up, the state of the economy, and other heartache in the world...I want to appeal to you - please pray for this family and this situation! I am praying that they are able to make a decision on what to do next, and that the decision is made with a total peace in their hearts. I am also continuing to pray for this Judge and everyone associated with this legal process. The stronghold that is strangling this process needs to be released!

Court in Irkutsk

Our friends are (probably) in court RIGHT NOW. PLEASE pray for them!

Forgot Camera...AGAIN!

Last weekend, we went to Wisconsin to visit our friends, Kim and Bart - and to meet Debbie and Brian. Who are Debbie and Brian you ask? They are one of the couples we've been on this adoption trek with.

Over the years, I've made a lot of 'virtual' friends. I've never been able to meet any of them, until now! It is SO NICE to meet someone you feel like you know so well! No one can really know what we're going through...no one other than the handful of families who are in our shoes.

Marty and Brian spent the afternoon looking at antique cars...a family collection! Marty was VERY impressed!

Debbie and I spent the afternoon going through her closet, trying on clothes - good old fashion 'girl stuff'.

So - thanks to Debbie and Brian for your hospitality! We had such a good time meeting you - and hope that was the first of many get-togethers!

...and on the way home, I realized that I forgot to take any pictures! UGH!

my friends...

I have amazing friends. It hit me today, as I was coming home from a LONG day. I was exhausted, had a headache, and was NOT looking forward to dealing with 'tax crap' (yes, that is the official term).

I started thinking about my friends that I had seen earlier in the day. Honestly, (if I do say so myself), I keep some pretty amazing company!

Now - remember, these are MY FRIENDS, not random people I've never met...these are tried and true friends - those I exchange Christmas cards with, and when I see them on the street, I give them a hug...real pals.

Here is a rundown of the amazing friends I saw today:

• I have a friend who endures crazy criticism for ridiculous things - just because of her husband's job...and if you met her, she has the MOST AMAZING attitude, and such a heart for God...I want to grow up and be like her (is that possible? I'm older?)

• I have another friend who I met recently - she has such a kind and sweet heart - she is totally honest about who she is, and really really wants to change those things about herself that hold her back - that is what I call REAL COURAGE!

• There is this one friend, who I know I can turn to for ANYTHING. She has seen me close to my worst, and I KNOW - she ALWAYS has my back...and that is a big deal to me. She is what I call a real friend.

• Then there is this pal who is just super cool. She is crazy creative; she is able to see things through a creative filter - I wish I could do that. She is one of those people who has a great attitude - and I don't think I have EVER heard her complain...I need to hang around with her more. She is a great mom - the kind of Mom I hope to be one day.

• This lady always says the right thing to push me...and there aren't many people that can say the things to me she can...but I know she does it with a ton of love, and I know she really wants to see me succeed. Being with her makes me a better person...and always makes me smile.

• This sweet friend has known me for a long time - she knew me in college (and I've made her swear not to tell any of the stories!!) - she is driven, successful at everything she tries, super creative, an amazing Mom, and a good friend. She is one of those people who I can call and complain - and at the end of my rant, she would ask if I feel better.

• Then there is my friend who I say is my twin from a different mother in a different generation. I love this gal - and I think she might be one of the smartest women I've met - I have so much respect for her because of what she has been able to accomplish in her young life. She is a loving Mom, fashionista extraordinaire, and has the biggest caring heart.

• Then there is the friend who I haven't seen in a long time. She is such a strong woman, so smart, I love her heart - I am so glad I got to see her today! She is one of those people who is beautiful inside and out. She is crazy talented - I don't even think she realizes how much talent she has!

• Finally, there is the friend who I became pals with via work-ish stuff. She is always there to let me borrow something, tell me what shoes to wear with what outfit, to challenge me and to share my pain. We laugh that we're good for each other because we get irritated at the same things. She is a great Mom to grown kids, really knows how to enjoy life, be a good friend, and laugh! Sometimes I have to pinch myself when I realize that she is in my life!

...and those are JUST the friends I saw TODAY! I saw so many friends today - this is just a snapshot - I need to count my blessings...I remember a time when I didn't think I had many friends. I prayed for God to bring some REAL friends into my life...now, I feel like I have abundant blessings via my pals!

things could be worse

I was reading my friend's blog tonight - the one who is in Russia right now waiting for a court date (again) in Irkutsk.

She posted this photo of a toilet in a HOSPITAL. Now, at a hospital, wouldn't you think that the conditions would be clean, sterile, free of germs and gunk?

Um, not so much in Irkutsk.

All I have to say is ewwwwww.

Praying - part 4

Just got word from our friends who are continuing to try to get a court date in Irkutsk. The good news is that they've been given another date - this Friday. Please pray for them...for the Judge, for the prosecutor, for every person in that courtroom.

I am so tired of all the game playing over there, I can't imagine how it would be to be living through it!

My hope and prayer that the strength and determination of this couple is seen by the Judge and the prosecutor. That they find NO REASON to continue this case, and that they QUICKLY grant the adoption.

a note about the presidential debate

Now that I have your attention, don't freak out. I'm not going to be spouting any of my political views, or offer any commentary on the election - there are PLENTY of blogs out there for that -

But this is kind of political / election-ish - I took a few days off from reading my blogs this week. Every time I do that, something exciting and fun happens to one of my 'virtual' friends - and I TOTALLY feel like I missed out. Silly I know...kind of like when you were in second grade, and you play sick to get out of going to school - and then find out there was an assembly that day, and it was super cool - and you missed out.

Anyway, one of my fav blogs had a fun post. Angie's husband (Todd) is a singer in a little band called Selah. If you've never heard of Selah, I am in SHOCK. Anyway, Todd was asked to be in the 'on the floor' audience at the presidential debate the other night. Super cool! He was in the front row, and all ready to ask his question. Tom Brokaw never got around to asking Todd to share his query, however at the end of the debate, Obama came up to him and asked what he did for a living. Well, apparently - Todd explained that he was a singer / songwriter with a band called Selah - Obama had never heard of Selah, and said that he would look them up online!

Seriously - who hasn't heard of Selah?

Train of Hope...or MISERY!

I got a note today from our friend who is in Irkutsk...the family who is there battling with the court.

Apparently, there is a 'Train of Hope' that will be coming to the region from the 9-11th. The "Train of Hope" - organized by the Russian government - will be in the Irkutsk Region from 9 through 11 October seeking children to adopt. There are 45 families that are coming. The Train has never been to the Irkutsk region before.

Do I think this is coincidence? Now that an American family is there fighting the court? Now that another American family has submitted documents and are waiting for a court date? Now that at least 3 other families are 90% done with the document prep?

From what I understand, the group will only visit the adoption center, and look through the database for children they want to meet in person.

I am praying that God keep all of our children safe during this time. I don't even know what else to pray about...I am at a loss.

WHy doesn't anyone RSVP anymore?

Why Doesn’t Anyone RSVP Anymore?

Even USA Today touts, “It’s rude not to RSVP; Casual attitude is driving hosts crazy” (June 17, 2002).

I recently attended a party hosted by an old friend. She sent out over 60 invitations, and had about 20 people say they were going to attend (typical - count on 1/3 of your invitation list to show up). But what about the other 40+ people? Why didn’t she hear from them? The RSVP was clearly stated on the invitation.

To read the rest of the story, visit HERE

one good thing...

Got a note from our legal liaison in Irkutsk today. The good news is that our documents (as we had prepared them) are excellent. The comment was "Your documents were quite well prepared" - funny how one little sentence made me feel better today.

Praying - part 3

Just got an update from our friends in Irkutsk. UNBELIEVABLE... after 8 hours of ruthless badgering by both a judge AND prosecutor, the court decided they STILL are not satisfied with the paperwork, and continued the case pending receipt of the new documents. No, I am NOT kidding. Why in the world this Judge would grant a court hearing, if she was unsatisfied with the paperwork in beyond me. Furthermore, all of her paperwork issues were taken to the Russian Supreme Court, and the SC agreed she was given sufficient evidence to proceed to court.

UGH! I am mad, frustrated, hurt - I can only begin to imagine what our friends are going through.

The up side is that she didn't says no. Please continue to pray with us for this situation. A miracle has to happen! I do not understand what God's plan is, and this has been such a long, hard, expensive, painful battle...something has to give!

So I guess...the story is to be continued.

Praying - part 2

I feel like I've been in this day-long conversation with God. I've prayed for everything from the outcome of our friends court hearing, to the Judge's mood, the weather in Irkutsk, traffic, other people who might be in court when our friends hearing begins.

I'm asking everyone I can think of to join with us in prayer. Right now, it is 9:15am in Irkutsk, Russia. The day is just beginning. THE day we've been waiting for!

Please ask anyone and everyone you know to pray with us tonight.

Praying - part 1

Just heard from our friends in Irkutsk. They are so nervous about court. I guess the hearing is later afternoon, rather than early morning (as I assumed). This means I am won't be staying up tonight to hear what happened...I hope we'll be able to know something by the time we get up tomorrow morning.

Sometimes that 13 hour time difference KILLS ME!

Right now, I am praying for a restful night sleep for our friends. I pray that their nerves are calm, that they not think about anything other than being themselves, and showing the Judge what wonderful loving parents they are.

I am also praying for the Judge. That she be thinking about this case as she drifts off to sleep. I pray that God take control of her dreams, and that she wakes with a renewed outlook. That her day tomorrow be marked by difference, and a broken heart for American families, and the children that have been waiting for them.

It's time for prayer

As I write this, it is 10:30 a.m. in Irkutsk - Saturday morning. My friends are there, frantically preparing for their court hearing on Monday. I can only imagine what they are going through, what kind of roll-playing Q&A they've got on the agenda, the knots in their stomach.

But this post isn't going to be about my friends. Although my heart, thoughts and prayers are with them in a way bigger than my words can convey...this post is about the Judge.

Judge Stepanova. She is the one who will be hearing their case. She is of Mongolian / Russian decent (or so I've been told). I hear she is a single mother (not sure if that is true). I doubt she knows Jesus, and doubt that anyone has ever shared with her the love of Jesus Christ.

It's sad. So many lives hang in HER balance. HER rule and decision is one that is governed by what? I don't know. THAT is what scares me the most.

I am feeling an overwhelming need to pray for Judge Stepanova's heart and mind. My prayer is that as she goes into court on Monday, that she is awestruck at this family. At the light that comes from this couple, the child they have from Irkutsk, and the one they want to bring home. I pray that she grant this adoption in such an expedient manner, that no one in the room will be able to understand what happened.

I am on my knees in the hopes that she see in this American family a grace, a love, a determination, and a heart that she has not ever seen in a family in her court. That what she sees in this family will BREAK HER HEART for other American families waiting to be granted a hearing in her court room.

My hope is that at the end of this process, she will meet all of us - all of the American families who have been determined to bring our kids home. She will see in us one common thing, and that thing she will see - she won't be able to understand, but it will make her curious. That "thing" is Jesus. The 'thing' is, that we love HIM enough to love and pray for her. As hard as that is, and as much as I've fought that over the years...THAT is what THIS TIME is for.

please join with me...

What does your heart break for?

Something struck me tonight at church. Dr. Bob made a comment about your heart breaking, he said, "When has your heart broken for the hurting?". I thought that was a powerful statement!

He was making a point about passion. Having passion for something - praying passionately for something.

My heart breaks for Anya, for the orphans in Russia, for the children who are stuck in the political tug of war - between a life in an orphanage, and a life with a family who will love them.

My heart breaks when I think about:

• the children who don't understand unconditional love
• they've never prayed, and don't understand what it means to be prayed for
• who don't cry when they are hurt, because they know it will do no good
• orphans who have never known what is it like to have something of their very own
• these children who have lived in orphanages their whole lives - they've never heard silence, they've never been alone, they don't know with it is like to make choices
• they think that all homes are made up of caregivers and many children
• these kids have never seen food cooked - in a kitchen
• Anya and the other children in her group wash their own clothes - she is 6! Every night, she washed out her socks, underwear and clothing. She's done this for years!
• Anya wondering why Mama and Papa aren't coming for her. What does she think when she is told she will go home with us one day?
• What about the other children who are starved for attention? The ones with a physical disability - that will never be adopted...who are becoming merely a shell of a person.

My heart also breaks for the families we are waiting with. Over the years, we've all become pretty close. When something happens to one of us - it feels like it is happening to all of us. In the past few weeks, we've experienced the loss of a child to a Russian family, the possibility of cancer, surgeries, financial loss, job loss, battle of hardening hearts, overwhelming anxiety, questioning our decisions.

We are all Christian women.

Do I think this is a spiritual battle? YES! Do I think that it is going to get worse? ABSOLUTELY!

The last 5% of anything is the hardest. For years I've been saying that I am OK with that...but is this the lat 5%? I still don't know - but I do know as for me and my friends - we're being attacked. I feel like each one of us - some in subtle ways, others are fighting bigger things - are all being attacked.

Is it a coincidence that this is happening at the same time that our friends are in Irkutsk preparing for court?

...I don't believe in coincidence

Now is the time to pray. Now is the time to allow our hearts to break for our precious children. Now is the time to stand up and not allow the enemy to get control! Our children are too important!

More Happenings in Irkutsk

Just heard from another one of my friends who is trying to adopt from Irkutsk. Her documents are being presented to the Judge on the 24th (which means, in the middle of the night the 23-24th to us).

Join with me on prayers for this family as well!!

The Judge in Irkutsk is being BOMBARDED with Americans this week!

Friends heading to Irkutsk (thoughts)

So, my friends leave for Russia soon. I am so nervous for them! I am afraid the judge will play paperwork games with them. I am concerned that there is something the judge will ask for that is impossible for them to get. I am excited for them to bring home the little one they've been waiting so long for.

I was coming home from work today -had almost a 2 hour drive...and got to thinking about my friends, and this trip. I can't imagine the tidal wave of emotion. Everything from excitement to terror. Butterflies in their stomach in anticipation of seeing their little one, and then in the same instant, a feeling is sickness as they think about facing this judge. ...well, that is how I am feeling for them.

If you are willing to join with me in prayer for this family, please email me, or respond to this post.

Cancer

Recently, I seem to be touched by cancer. I don't know why. A few weeks ago, I SWORE I had a conversation with someone who told me one of my friends had breast cancer. I called a mutual friend who told me (among other things) that I was crazy. I must have dreamed that one.

Yesterday - I went to the Secret Sisters Luncheon. It is a gathering of about 1,600 women in support of cancer survivors. My friend's mom was one of the models in the style show, so I wanted to show my support. At the beginning of the event, they showed a video - 8 of the 10 ladies that were featured in this video were people I know, customers, or those I went to high school with.

I thought I was one of those rare people who didn't know anyone who had battled cancer. Well, I know TOO many.

Tonight I ran into my friend who I thought had cancer. She came up to me and we had a good chuckle about it all...then in all seriousness she told me she has been having some trouble, and is having a mammogram next week.

I don't know what to say about that, except something has to be done. I don't know what - but I do know that I will continue to volunteer my time with our local organizations that support those who have cancer, and those who are raising funds for research.

What will you do? Has cancer touched your life? Your family?

unbelievable

This is unbelievable. I was reading a post tonight - and saw this:

19/09/2008 Moscow News №37 2008

Moscow works to combat child abandonment

It's a difficult fact for foreigners to get their head around; but eighty percent of orphans in Russia have at least one parent.

While child abandonment is a rare occurrence in the U.S. and Western Europe, the
issue of social orphanhood is a pressing problem in Russia. Last year alone, 23,000 children were placed in orphanages by parents who, for various reasons, could not cope with them at home.

I could read the rest of the article.

Phone Call to beat all phone calls!

We just got off the phone with Anya! Seriously, we got to talk to her! I don't think she's ever talked on the phone before - every question we would ask her, she would just say 'da'. When she first got on the phone, the first thing she said was 'when are you coming for me? I miss you!' [enter sound of heart breaking here].

She said that she was in art class when we called. We asked her about camp, and she said there was a river and a pool, and that she is a good swimmer.

She got the box we sent to her for her birthday, but we're still unsure about the letters and emails.

We were able to talk to the social worker - we love her! She is a lovely woman. She told us that Anya is getting very tall. That she asks about us all the time, and wonders when we are coming to get her. How do you explain to a 6 year old that the Judge is an evil person, and is preventing us from doing that?

We explained to the social worker (briefly) that an American family has a court date. She was very excited about that. We could hear the excitement in her voice...which is a little unusual - when you talk to a Russian person, very rarely do you hear any fluctuation in tone. Her exact words were "Oh, that is very good news".

So now, we need to make a TON of money so we can go to Russia. I wish it wasn't SO expensive to visit Anya...or I'd be there every month!

PLUG
If anyone wants to call your child in Russia, I suggest using Svetlana - she typically is used for men that are calling women in Russia...but she was very nice, and very helpful. She is in California. Her fee was ONLY $1 a minute! That is for the translation, 3-way call and the long distance! VERY reasonable!

Please keep in your prayers

Hi All - I just got a note that my dear friend, Vicki, needs some prayer. Her Dad was delivering some goods in the Eastern U.S., and had an accident unloading the truck. I don't have any details - just know that Vicki's Dad needs prayers.

Thanks...

Exciting Adoption News

I Twittered about it yesterday, so I guess I should post an update.

I know this post is going to prompt a boat-load of questions…know that I do not have any answers.

[background] You all know that I’ve become close with several other American families who are also waiting to adopt a precious little one from Irkutsk, Russia. We’ve all been waiting about the same amount of time (around the 4 year mark). We’ve all been an incredible source of strength for each other; not to mention an amazing resource for one another!





Well, one of these amazing families has been able to obtain a court date in Irkutsk. Yes, you read that right – one of my friends, who is an American, has a court date from the Judge in Irkutsk. The court date is to bring her little one home.

This is huge.

Before I get bombarded with questions, let me try to avoid them here…

No, I am not going to tell you when the court date is. Just know that it is coming soon. When it does happen, and when my friend gives me permission – I will post an urgent prayer request to all of you. We have prayed our way through this process thus far…we need to pray these dear people through this court hearing!!

No, I don’t know about any other cases – or if the Judge will give any other dates out.

No, our documents are not updated – they all expired Aug 31. No, I don’t know when I will have them done. Yes, I am going to update them. Yes, our team in Russia continues to work on our case.

Yes, I am a little in shock.

Stay tuned for more exciting updates!

PHOTOS: from west.ioimprov.com and wildcatblitz.com

Blissfully Domestic

I think the Blissfully Domestic website is finally up and running! Check out some great articles HERE

The Drama of being a mother to 7

*** update 12:45pm - we have found foster homes for the kitties. I don't
know anything about it yet - if they are going to be split up - nothing. More
details to follow. ***

***update way too late Sunday night - I think the foster mom for the kittens
is going to be OK. She took all 5, and MS too. I didn't tell her
about MS, so that might not have been the best idea - really didn't think about
it until after the fact - so Michelle, if you see this {sorry}. I
am sad. Can't stop thinking about Hemmie.

When you are going through the adoption process, the way your brain thinks changes. Anyone who has been through it knows what I am talking about. In everything that happens, you look for meaning - you wonder if that is some kind of ‘test’ from God. Every chance encounter you are sure was ordained by God. Every trial you know was of His plan to make you stronger.

Which might all be true.

We now have 7 cats in our house. Jazz – who is the resident fuzzy ball of fun. The 5 kittens (who I now call Morris, Hemmie, Raskey, Storm and Snow), and some relative of the5, Morris Senior. The kittens are at the cat hotel (AKA our downstairs bathroom), Morris Sr. has taken up residence in the garage; and of course Jazz still has full reign of the house.

So I wonder – what is this all about?

Could it be that this is some kind of test? To see how many different ways I can be pulled until I break? The feeding, everyone is clamoring and crying for my attention. I just get done feeding and watering everyone – and then *crash* something has happened with the 5, so I go back in to see what is going on – 2 escape causing Jazz to go ballistic. I get everyone corralled back in the “hotel”, calm down Jazz – and I hear wailing coming from the garage…and so it starts all over again.

And I feel bad for Jazz. She doesn’t know what is going on – all she knows is that some strange smells and some other animals are invading her space. If you know anything about cats, then you know they are very territorial. Jazz is used to being the center of attention – or I should say, getting all of my attention. She is acting a little neglected and, well, mad. Right now, she is sitting on my desk staring at me with a look of “what have you done” in her eyes.

Then there are the babies. They need attention. They’ve gained a little weight in the short time they’ve been here. 3 of them are very starved for attention (they are boys). The 2 girls (the grey ones, Snow and Storm) are happy to just play with each other.

Oh geez, then Morris Sr. I feel so bad – I haven’t had time to really go out there and spend time with him/her (not sure if it is a he or she). M.S can’t come inside, because she has ear mites. I should do something about that. She is also very thin, and dehydrated. I just gave M.S. more water, and am monitoring the litter box…because that is what you do when you are the mother to cats. But M.S. is older, and is more self sufficient than the kittens.

Have I mentioned Oz? Yes, there is yet ANOTHER outside cat, Oz that has appeared in the past few days too. Oz looks like an Ocelot cat – beautiful! Yes, we fed him (which is why he keeps appearing, I know…) – but he is so skinny too.

UGH!!!

I’ve lived here long enough to know – we ‘ve NEVER had this many cats appear. Generally, we have random wild cats show up – but never this many nice cats that obviously have been around people.

So, if this isn’t a test – what is it? A glimpse into how things are going to be when Anya gets home? Being pulled in a million directions, feeling like you’re not getting anything done – and all you want to do is take a shower?

Maybe is it a test of my heart? How much can I take before I break? I have a heart for animals – but I have a soft spot for cats. I've walked away from dogs and puppies before - heartbroken, but I've done it. How am I supposed to let go of these little fur balls when we find foster families for them? What if the new families aren’t nice? What if they don’t know they all need attention? What if they don’t care that the kittens won’t use the litter box if it is messy? What if they never get adopted? Then what?

But I know I can’t keep them. Maybe this is what it is like to work in an orphanage? Loving each orphan, knowing they all have very specific needs, wanting to meet every one of those needs. Needing some help – just one more set of hands to help. Feeling your hear break with each cry.

Whatever it is, I don’t like it. It’s painful. It hurts. I don’t like feeling that I can’t do the best job because I am being spread too thin. I don’t like wondering if I am making a difference, making things better.

So, like all tired moms I know…I think I am going to put all the babies down for a nap so I can have a good cry and a shower.

oh ya, I forgot to clean up the breakfast dishes. I should do that first...

Kittens?

We found 5 little kittens tonight as we were walking down our driveway. They followed us back to the house - and now I don't know what to do. My Mom (who volunteers at Pet Refuge) is on her way over to help. For the time being, they're living in our downstairs bathroom...and Jazz (our cat) is NOT happy!

Anyone want a kitty? They are all very sweet - there is a runt that I am already attached to. Not sure how I am going to be able to give all these little furry guys up...

Article Published

I recently was asked to be a contributing writer for Blissfully Domestic. It is a great online magazine, with a readership of about 250,000! Yikes! Guess I am going to have to start paying closer attention to my grammar!



This week is a relaunch of the mag - new look, stronger push etc. I have 2 articles that will be featured this week. The first one was published today - it is about back to school shopping. Check it out HERE - the other piece is supposed to be published tomorrow, and it is about bra fit (I think). It will appear HERE

I have several friends who are also a part of this great magazine. It is so awesome to have such creative talent - within MY circle of friends! Check out Michelle's story HERE - this is a story about children and manners (super funny) - she will be a contributor to the Family section, and on the Faith section. And, another one of my pals, Amy is the editor of the Family section.

Make Blissfully Domestic one of your daily 'must reads' - also, become a member (which is no big deal) so you can comment on the great stories that appear in this online magazine!

[side note] - years ago I worked for a University as a regional marketing person. Well, one of the campuses I was responsible for didn't like me. They decided I couldn't write, and complained to my boss about my writing skills. So, my boss (to shut them up) made me take the English section of a college entrance exam (keep in mind that I have a BS and an MBA). So, I took the test, and passed with flying colors - I actually tested out of every English class you could test out of. Duh! I was also told to 'not be so Kathy' when I visited that location. WHAT??? Well - fast forward to today. I am doing JUST FINE being 'Kathy', and amazing thing - I am being ASKED to write - and I wrote A LOT - as in a 'job'! Success is the best revenge!

Prayer request-a-plenty

I don't know what it is today - but seems like every note I get, everyone I've run into has another prayer request. I am so honored that they're bringing these things to me, but makes me wonder what is going on.

So please - to all the prayer warriors out there - and to those who pray - please remember the following in your prayers:

• My friend (Jen) - her roommate's nephew was hit by a car tonight (little boy is about 10 I think)...keep him in your prayers
• Another family on this adoption journey with us is fighting some unsettling news (we think) - a lot of questions - no answers. Please pray for Peace for my friend, and His will
• Prayers for all the kids who are waiting to come home from Irkutsk. We are feeling the power struggle of good vs. evil - in some ways more than ever before
• My mother-in-law is having some kind of heart surgery tomorrow morning.
• One of my dearest friends son started school today -not sure if we should pray harder for the little guy, or my friend!
• The family of one of Marty's co-workers - Gary...Gary was killed last week

Thank you...

and then the floodgates opened

I was surfing around online tonight - pretty much avoiding anything that even sounded or looked like work (so for me, no online shopping, reading about trends, no magazines...)

I went to a friend's website I haven't been to in a LONG time. This is what I saw:

The title is "Anya's Blessing".

This is a beautiful painting that Cricket Berry did for an adoption fundraiser (auction) that my dear friends had for us years (and I do mean years) ago. I can't remember who won this - but I remember wanting to bid on it (and wondering if that would be not-cool...to bid on something at a silent auction that is being held to benefit you).

In my small group last week, we were talking about embarrassing moments. Anyone who knows me knows that my life is full of silliness that could be interpreted as embarrassment. But seeing this picture reminded me of that night. About how humbled I felt, how loved I felt, and...yes, embarrassed. Embarrassed that we needed a "fund raiser". And I know - this was a way my friends could support us in the adoptions. I know they wanted to do 'something'...I know that.

Those feelings are still with me now - so many years later. I'm embarrassed that we don't have Anya home yet - that SO MANY people have poured time, gifts, frequent flyer miles, money, prayers into this.

And that is all I have to say about that.

What do you REALLY believe?

I read this on another blog tonight. For some reason, it really hit me. I mean, I *think* I really believe, I *think* I really know what I believe. I *think* that this adoption journey is a test of what I believe, and how deep my faith is. I also *think* I've had to learn that my beliefs and my faith is more than what I lean on - more than my own understanding of the "why's" and "how's" of things. Sometimes I *think* I *think* too much, and just need to stop thinking, and start praying...

Do you truly believe that what you believe is really true? A question to
think about from 'The Truth Project'. I think I do. In good times I think I do.
In hard times, it is much more difficult. I loved the visual of the little boy
jumping off the diving board into the arms of his mother. An example of
childlike faith. Am I willing to jump into the arms of my Father?

We took a day off

I know, I was shocked too...but we did. We decided to take today and not work (well, until 8pm). We went to Weco Beach in Bridgman, MI. Ironically - this was the location of our very first 'real' date...now, I know what you're thinking, who goes to the beach on their first date? All I have to say about that, is it all worked out :)

I wanted to share these funny photos. Marty wanted to take a photo with the background in this pic. I disagreed because the sun was in my face - notice my eyes.

This shot was my idea...notice the bad background (or lack of background), and my eyes (haha!)

India by way of Russia

So, my hubby has decided to go to India. He will be going with a team from our CHURCH - there are several groups going. I really don't understand it other than to say there is a water group, a justice group and the group Marty will be with - the documentary group. He and some of his buddies will be filming the goings-on our the mission teams our church supports in India.

He is in the process of raising funds now - I think he leaves right after Christmas.

If you know anything about me and Marty - you know that we are rarely apart. We travel together - we work together (from home). We're one of those odd couples that really enjoy being together, and choose to be together rather than to be apart. The only time we're apart is when I have to run to Chicago on a buying trip, or if he wants to go to the movies...I am not good in a theater.

Another thing I should mention, is that I have no desire to go to India. I have a lot of friends who are 100% sold out in support of what God is doing in India - and I support them, and think what they are doing is great. Honestly, it isn't a place that makes my heart beat fast...and I think that is OK. God has wired me to be passionate about other things (women's causes here at home, orphans, bla bla bla). Also, I am a picky eater - well, not really. I just don't eat meat. I went on a mission trip (to Chicago) many moons ago, and about starved to death (seriously, barely ate anything for 3 days). I've heard stories of missionaries in India feasting on a goat that the village slaughtered as a thank you to the team. Um, ya - NO thanks! Not sure how that would translate...

So, I'm not going to India.

Since Marty will be gone, and it is about time for us to think about going to Russia again, I thought I would go visit Anya. I don't see how we can afford his trip to India, and both of us going to Russia...all in the same year. Ahhh yes, I wish we were made of money! I'm still not sure how we're going to swing one trip to India, and one trip to Russia...but I am getting creative.

So - anyone want to go to Russia? Tickets are running about $1500+, plus your Visa, food, transportation in Moscow, hotel in Moscow, transportation in Irkutsk, apartment in Irkutsk, and translator. Common - you PAPs out there (and you know who you are!!) - let's head to Irkutsk! I would like to be there for Russian Christmas...wouldn't that be too much fun!? (Deb, Winda, Addy - anyone???)

So - consider this a shameless plea - if your heart beats fast for mission work in India, feel free to contact my hubby with your financial support, or words and prayers of encouragement.

If your heart beats fast for Anya or orphans...and you've got some Delta frequent flyer miles (or Am Ex points, or Marriott points) you want to rid yourself of - I would be more than happy to take those off your hands.

..so that is a little slice of life, here in the Friend household. Never a dull moment.

confession

I have to confess. I haven't even started updaing the paperwork. Every time I think I am going to start, I work on business stuff.

This has been going on for weeks now.

I think it is because when I work on business things, join another online community, submit another article to some magazine...I get a response. I get feedback. I see the fruit of my labor. My work is rewarded.

Conversely - when I revise, redo paperwork for the zillionith time - I get nothing. I (generally) don't even get a notice that it was delivered, accepted. I have no idea (generally) when it is going to be give to the Judge...and this is all very typical - very Russian. They are not so good at master-communication skills (at least by our standards).

So this is my confession - I seem to be spending time on things that I feel some sense of accomplishment from...and today, that isn't dossier paperwork.

First Blog Award

My blog-adoption-friend (Addy) gave me my first Blog award! I was about ready to give myself an award (kind of competitive that way) - so thanks! Part of accepting this most prestigious award, is that I get to nominate others...after (of course) my acceptance speech...so here it goes:

I'd like to thank the ridiculous Russian officials who have been keeping my Anya captive, forcing me to take a leap into the blog world. I would also like to thank my bloggy pals for reading my nonsense, and for the entertainment value their blogs provide me.

With that, I would like to nominate the following blogs that I read just about every day:

1. Brenda
2. Michelle
3. Jenni (AKA JLa)
4. Kristen
5. Angie
6. Kate
7. Christen

So, to the winners - here is what you have to do:

Congratulate yourself!
Add the logo of the award to your blog
Add a link to the person who awarded it to you - that would be me!
Nominate up to 7 other blogs
Add links to those blogs on your blog
Leave a message for your nominees on their blogs.
Happy Bloggin' everyone!

weather in Irkutsk

I always check the weather in Irkutsk - odd, I know. Just to let you in on a little snippet of my day -tomorrow, it is supposed to rain - high in the 50's, low in the 30's. Weekend weather will be partly cloudy with high in the 60's, low's in the high 30's - ahh yes, late summer in Siberia!

All the money in the world

I wish I had enough money to:

• not worry about bills, debt, payments
• give freely - enough to those that it would make an immediate difference
• that I could go to Russia any time I wanted
• not think about the total of my groceries in the check out line
• to fill my house with fresh flowers all year around
• to be able to walk into the shelters, agencies, groups, church that we give to and ask what the deficit is...and be able to meet it
• be able to buy a house or a car for someone who really needed it
• employ those who need a job
• buy my husband an IPhone (so I could stop hearing about how he's not cool because he doesn't have one, and how all his friends have one, and how it's not fair)
• provide to the orphans in Irkutsk - make sure they are cared for, fed, clothed
• help friends in need, anonymously
• fund cancer research
• fund heart disease research
• get meeting with people of power and influence, and give them my opinion
• get in front of Putin and explain to him what his 'judge' is doing to my Anya
• allow my husband (who is the best husband in the world...by the way) to do whatever he wants - not work for a paycheck - give him the freedom to just create
• to say no sometimes

What about you? If you had all the money in the world, what would you do?

Living Room to a Wedding Chapel

Do you all remember (back in the day) those commercials for futons? The actor would exclaim "sofa to a bed...SOFA TO A BED?!" (OK, Mel is probably the only one who is cracking up right now...)

Anyway - we made our front room a wedding chapel this weekend (front room to a wedding chapel...FRONT ROOM to a WEDDING CHAPEL?!) - there aren't too many people in the world I would move all the furniture out of those rooms for...but, my friend Kim is one of those people. I blogged about her shower HERE. My friend Kim is now happily married to her Prince Charming - Bart.


It was such a beautiful day, and the wedding was perfect (and I didn't even obsess about the streaky/spotty windows, or the weeds that I forgot to pull on the side of the house). I know this blog is not about my friend's wedding - but I also know that there are a lot of you out there who know and love Kim and Sara...so, indulge me and ooooo and ahhhhh at these pics.

my church...and me MIA

For the past few weeks, we haven't been able to go to church as regularly as we normally do...and that bums me out. Travel schedules, and gas prices seem to be keeping us on this side of Michiana.

My church is making a switch for the mid-week service. Typically - the Thursday night service is one that I would not miss...no matter what. Over the summer, an announcement was made that the Thursday services is moving to Wednesday nights - and taking on a new format. Cool! Love new and different. I never got all of the details, because (of course) we missed that week.

When I heard the news, I also heard that it was going to start in August. So, I've been loading my schedule on Thursday nights.

Huge mistake...

This past Thursday was the last 'thurs. mid-week' service. I've heard rumblings that it was amazing - of course, I didn't know it was the last Thursday night - and we didn't go (I was working).

Did you go this past week? What did I miss? What is the new Wednesday all about? When does it start?

...I need details!

Have you ever...

Have you ever wanted to tell someone if they don't like what they read on your blog - then just don't read it!

If they find the information you share on your blog is opposite to what they believe - then don't read it!

Why is it that people are so quick to jab and stab rather than to understand?

If you don't like hamburgers - then don't work at McDonald's.

If you don't like the reporting on CBS, then turn the channel to NBC.

...sometimes people wear me out.

so grateful

Seriously, I don't know what I did to be blessed with so many great friends. I can be pretty scarcastic - I never have time to get together for coffee and chat, I am horrible at calling people...yet, God has blessed my life with some pretty incredible pals.

...and family! No matter what crazy thing I get myself into - my family is always right by my side. Literally - if I volunteer for something, that means you get me, my hubby, my mom - and maybe my brother. I've never heard them complain - and are always happy to help me. I tease them that they are the "hired help", but I've never paid them. They let me get in my pre-event "mood" (which sometimes isn't pretty), and they love me anyway.

I just want to say for the record - thanks to all of you who stopped by to see me at the mall this weekend. It's always nice to look up and see a friendly face or 2! Thanks for supporting me and my business - and for being my biggest fans. LOVE YOU GUYS!

anyone know?

Does anyone know how to block a user from seeing your blog? Just curious...

adoption update - not sure what to think

I realize that many of you come here to see what is going on with the adoption. And, I realize that I don't post a ton of updates on what is going on ...basically because there is nothing going on - really.

I've posted before about another family who is trying to adopt a little boy from the same region we are. They have taken their case to the Russian Supreme Court...they are blazing trails for all of us in Irkutsk. Well, their case FINALLY (a story for another time) got back to the Irkutsk court, and Judge S. FINALLY reviewed the Supreme Court's decision. We all were thinking Judge S. would grant a court date, and that our friends would be traveling in October (ish) to go to court.

Of course, that doesn't seem to be what is happening.

Judge S. offered a list of 10 things our friends must get before she will grant them a court date. Most of the things on this list are easy - things like an updated criminal background check (I can understand that - logical)...but there are other things on this list that seem to be impossible - specifically, a document signed by a doctor that doesn't exist in our country. So - essentially, the Judge is saying 'you must travel to Russia JUST to have a 20-minute visit in a medical clinic with this doctor'.

In the past, Judges in this region would grant court dates pending an in-country medical exam. So, families would get to Russia a day or so early in order to spend a day in a Russian medical clinic, and have all of these exams done.

This is where I need your help. I know that we have so many creative minds reading this blog. Lots of people that know lots of people. We need you to help! We need you to put those networking skills to task!

We need (as so many of the other Irkutsk waiting families) a doctor who is a Dermatologist-Venereologist. What is a venereologist you ask? Who knows...It can't be JUST a dermatologist. I Googled Venereologist, and it seems that it is a "the study of the diseases that are communicated by sexual intercourse" - I'm not kidding. Now, if you know of an American doctor who specializes in both things - PLEASE let me know! Or, if you have some kind of connection to one of these doctors in Russia - that would be even better!

Finally - on a more personal note. The time has come for us to redo ALL of our documents again. You all know that I have dreaded this. I know that the last 5% is the hardest part of anything. Well, for us, it seems that the 5% is more like 20% or more! If I can be so bold as to again ask for your prayers...pray that we can get these documents done without many issues, that I get them done in a timely fashion, and that I am able to get them to Russia by September 1-ish. Also say a prayer for the people with the Secretary of State's office here in Indiana. They are very nice, but I know every time they know we're coming - or when we ask for something, they cringe. Thankfully - they are the kind that know it isn't us asking for unreasonable things. I just want to pray for their tolerance of all these things, and patience with all of our documents.

We truly appreciate and love you all!

Pics of the dynamic duo

I love my friend Tracey - we don't get to spend enough time together. But when we are together - WATCH OUT! You just never know what is going to happen! She is one of those 'true blue' kind of pals...so glad she is on my side!

Here are some more photos of our Hove-A-Round escapade.


Oh no - I think we're heading for the pool area.


Nope - it looks like we're early for happy hour (haha!) ...I think we were a little too early, as in - we were the only ones there!



I have NO idea what the big secret is...


Quite a pair!

Hove-A-Round and a bum foot or 2

When we were in Florida a few weeks ago (photos are coming...I promise!) - I was in one of those great orthopedic boot things. I blogged about being pushed through the airport in a wheelchair (humiliating!). TO read that post, go HERE

Well, in FL, I met up with my friend Tracey (from Washington state). She was fighting immobility too. We were quite a pair. She rented a Hove-A-Round...i.e. a power wheelchair. One night, I was pooped from dragging around my bum foot all day, so I hitched a ride on Tracey's HAR.

It was captured on film...there is nothing more to say.

You never realize...

Since we've been traveling and on the go so much for the past few weeks (and lost my luggage), I have realized how much certain things at home make me happy.

• My electric toothbrush - I really miss that when I'm not at home...a manual one just doesn't do the job the electric one does.
• My bedding - I know I spent way too much on our sheets - but they are seriously the softest most comfortable sheets in the world!
• Beverages - at any time, I can go to the fridge and get something to drink!
• My cat, OK, I know that sounds odd. But Jazz sits in my office (or wherever I am)...she is always right by my side. When I am not here, I miss her.
• A good workspace. At hotels, I can never get comfortable using my laptop.

What comforts of home do you miss when you are out of town?

Friends vs. skunk

If you've been following this blog for a long time, you might remember a post last year called "SKUNK WARS".

This year, the skunk gets revenge.

We were taking a walk down our driveway (which is 1/4 mile-ish long)...with a treeline on one side...when I looked up and saw a skunk...right there in our driveway, staring at us. Yes, I freaked out!

So - what do you do when you come (almost) face to face with one of these scary stinky critters? Back away slowly!! And continue your walk WAY FAR away from where the skunk went!

adoption paperwork

It's been a while since I posted anything about the adoption - so I guess I should say a little something about it.

I am having trouble getting the new medical form done. We known someone who is good friends with the medical director at one of the big clinics around here. We need him to get this done. I haven't been able to get any contact info out of my friend. I tried to just call the office -and he isn't taking any new patients...so they wouldn't make an appointment for me to see him.

Generally, I hit a closed door, or a 'no' and I see that as an exciting challenge. Now - a 'no' just makes me tired...and I put that document that needs to be done on my 'to do' pile. This has been going on for weeks now...and it's still not done. And, it is on my 'to do' list for next week.

Why is this ONE document SO HARD to get done? I've completed (literally) thousands of documents for this adoption...the same document done 6 times (different each time) in triplicate...and it didn't tire me. I just don't know why I can't muster the energy to get this done this time.

IMEDIATE PRAYERS NEEDED for our missionary friend

Hello All,

We have a prayer request. Our friend, Wes (some of you know him) has a daughter named Martha. She is the mom to 5 children. Her husband died several years ago. Martha is a missionary in Israel. Her (and her husband's) life's work is to help ill children get much needed life-saving medical help in Israel.

Martha and her family have lived in Israel for a long time (I don't know exactly how long...but a long time).

A few weeks ago - Martha was visiting family on the West coast - and heading back to Israel. Upon landing in Israel - she (and her 5 children...all young kids) were detained for 10 hours, and deported back to New York. The only reason given was that thier Visas were not in order...after 10 HOURS!!!!!!

Her home and life are in Israel. Martha and her kids are at a hotel in New York trying to figure out what to do.

A family friend met Martha and the kids in New York to help them get settled. As he was helping them, his van was broken into. Everything he owned was in the van (computers, clothing, passport). He was packed and heading to Indiana...so now, he has nothing.

Please pray for Martha and her kids...and the family friend (John). From what I understand, Martha is working on getting to Indiana...that is where Wes is.

Updates, donations and words of encouragement can be found through Full Life Crusade. http://www.flc7.com/home.html

update on Jessie

A quick update on Jessica. Jessica goes in for her Stem Cell Rescue on the 19th of August and needs your prayers. Jessie is doing well. If you would like to follow her progress, go to the following website. At the top of the site - you can see photos, leave her a message (which she would LOVE)...you can tell her you know her through her Dad and Kim.

http://www.caringbridge.org/wi/jessie/guestbook.html

more pics from Kim's shower