after I took a breath

Well, it's been about a week since we got the new statement from the Judge. I've had time to think about it - to read it and re-read it, and honestly, it isn't as bad as I initially thought. There are only 9 things on the statement - and most of them are questions about our laws that are easy to answer.

We will do the best we can to get everything done and back to Russia...the deadline is the 17th - which means I have to mail everything by the 12th - I have a week.

Something just occurred to me. Our documents are due on the 22nd. That is the day after Anya's Birthday. Anya's 7th Birthday...which is also Father's Day.

Found out that our coordinator is going on vacation for 2 weeks - at the end of the Month. He said that he will have someone working for him while he is gone - someone checking with the court on a new statement. I need to talk to him AGAIN about that. For some reason, I still don't feel "ok" about it.

Wondering what the kick in the pants is? Our placing agency - the one with the accreditation to work in Russia...had their accreditation (license) suspended for 3 months today by the Russia government. Why? Who knows. The good news is that our homestudy agency (who was black listed) is now in good standing with the MOE in Russia...

It's always something.

common threads

Through the past 5 years, a lot has happened in my life...things other than the adoption. Although it seems like that is ALL I ever talk about, and that I am consumed by it - believe me when I say there were periods of time when I PURPOSELY didn't talk about the adoption. There was even a time when I deliberately focused on my career and building my business...and NOT the adoption.

Was that the right thing to do? I don't know. But I think my ability to over commit, to get involved, my inability to say 'no' has sustained my sanity. Simply put, many many times over the past few years, I simply didn't have time to think about what I was missing with Anya.

Another thing I have been able to do in the past few years, is make different friends. There are a lot of people who are in my life today, who weren't 5 years ago. There are friends who have come and gone...and that's OK.

I have also found commonalities with several women through a shared way of being 'out there'. Maybe being out there is because of a husband's job, because of some kind of local fame, maybe because of some online success...others have been 'out there' because of a job, a career, a position in the community...even have a friend who is an author.

When a person makes the decision to be "out there" they silently agree to have everything about them scrutinized by people who don't know them. I don't think that is fair. Women can be mean...and it makes me sad.

Funny thing is, I thought this was just a phenomenon with my little circle of friends. Then I was reading a blog tonight, and it said this:

I'm not going to dignify this with further details, but I will say that apparently there are also people who are wounded enough in this life that they feel the need to try and tarnish the name of someone who has a ministry. Why? Because they don't want someone else to get attention? Because they are jealous? Because they are lonely? I don't know why. But it makes me sad, because that could have been a place where something beautiful grew instead...an offering the Lord would readily receive, but no. The ego and emotions win out again. I just hate that.

I don't want to be here, where Godly women prey on each other instead of seeking to build them up. It breaks my heart to watch firsthand the way that can undo someone who needed to be reminded that the Lord is good, and He is with us. They need a cheerleader, a reason to hope, a glimpse of love. And the stranger heaps coals and sits idly by while that little string she pulled begins to unravel. It is one of satan's favorite ways of distracting us; convincing us that if we bring someone down, we will be higher. It's as anti-Gospel as it gets, and it seems rampant these days.

More commonalities. Because I this kind of 'theme' seems to be coming up again, and again, and again - I had to blog about it. I'm talking about it to beg you - think before you speak. Search your motives when it comes to other women. And if you are on the receiving end of some of this meanness and evil...CHOOSE TO TAKE THE HIGH ROAD. Choose to pray rather than react. Believe me, it is HARD, but at the end of the day - the one with the hard tongue needs more than a stern talking to - there is so much going on with her, she NEEDS prayer.

...ok, off my soapbox now

news :(

I don't even know how to post this. We got the legal statement today, and spoke with our coordinator - it seems like the new Judge is using our case as an education. She doesn't know anything about adoptions, therefore is asking a lot of questions about things that are a duh.

Her statement was 8 pages long.

Why is it my job to act as the University level education on adoptions for this Judge?

Most of the things are things we've provided in the past.

She still doesn't understand about the deed / land thing and our home ownership. I don't know how to get her to understand this. Apparently in other countries (as in every other country) there is a purchase agreement for a home - that turns into a certificate of ownership. We don't have that here...and she doesn't get it.

And the changes need to be back in Russia by June 16th.

Which means we have to get them done and in the mail before the 11th or 12th. That means I have 8 days to figure it all out (weekends don't count). It all hurts my stomach.

Oh ya, and our coordinator is going on a 2 week vacation starting on the 21st. The deadline for our changes to go back to the court is the 22nd...our coordinator will translate for us and have one of his representatives deliver our things back to the court. This makes me nervous. Who will be around to check on a statement in that 2 weeks? If a statement is released, but no one picks it up = basically, we lose time. We've lost a week in the process this go-around because of translation...this most recent statement was given on May 22.

And our coordinator suggested we send a personal letter to the Judge. A plea of sorts.

I am rambling. I have a headache. My stomach is starting to hurt. I want to stop whining about this. I am going to bed.

the non-news news

Well, I fully hoped that I would have some kind of grand update to post tonight. But I don't. Today has been a series of "are you kidding me" events.

We got a note from our coordinator, that simply said:

I just got another legal statement ( at least the documents are not rejected), I will put it all in writing for you. Then I think we can talk on the phone to discuss these issues

My first thought was why did he say "at least the documents are not rejected" - was that a concern? What the heck? But then I tried to focus on "discuss the issues", maybe that means there aren't many things to "do". This paperwork redo thing is UNBELIEVABLE!

So - from that email, I had a plan. I was going to call the orphanage and talk to the Director to see if she had heard anything from the Adoption Center. Generally, when the child's documents are called for, that call goes to the Adoption Center, and they work together with the director at the orphanage. Typically, this is the 2-month point to a court date. My plan was a good one...

I lined up our interpreter to make the call for us.

First attempt - the line was busy.

Second attempt - she got a message that said there were troubles on the line.

WHAT?!

Thank goodness for Facebook! As I am posting all my frustrations with calling Russia, I get a message from Tami - our friend who lives in Irkutsk. Found out the phones there have been out for 2 days, and that the land-lines typically go out when it rains. NICE!

Step 2 in my grand plan was to call our coordinator. So, we did. He wasn't ready for our call, and I think we surprised him. He asked that we call back in 12 hours - this will give him time to translate the statement from the Judge and email it to me.

...so the news is that there is still no news.

for now, I will pout

I am going to go with the opening comments of the blog of one of my pals...

I can't decide if I want to

• burst into tears
• go to bed
• laugh hysterically or
• scream

I know I am refocusing, and trying to concentrate on the good...but today it is hard.

I don't understand why it's been a week shy of 2 months since we have heard anything.

Today I just want to feel sorry for myself and pout. I promise I'll snap out of it...but for now, please let me pout.

refocusing

I have been refocusing lately. Not as a matter of some kind of grand self-improvement plan, but as a matter of survival.

I have found that I tend to dwell on things I can't control, rather than to bask in the glory of missed blessings and focus on the things I can control.

Why is it that we (as women) focus on the one person who might not like us, at the risk of missing the love and respect that we get from the dozens of people who love us? I have to think men do this too...to some degree.

I have a friend who is one I turn to when I need to be talked off the ledge. I believe God put her in my life for a very specific purpose, and that is to unemotionally tell me like it is. Her little pearls of wisdom bring me back to center...she has said things to me like, "Don’t criticize or condemn anyone – just forgive and move on" and "You can’t control any part of this except your own action and reaction". All good stuff, all things I needed to hear at the exact time she said them to me.

I can't control the fact that we haven't heard from the Judge in 6 weeks. But I can control the amount of time I dwell on the fact I've been sitting here for 6 weeks thinking and grousing about it. Fact is, all of this that I've internalized is making me sick.

So it's time to refocus.

Rather than to dwell on the fact it's been 6 weeks since we've heard anything...I am focusing on the fact we DID hear something! The Judge DID accept our documents, and they ARE active in the Irkutsk court system.

Rather than to focus on those who are sucking the life out of me, I am going to focus on those who give me life. I have some very good friends, some pals I've known forever...those girls love me; they KNOW me (I mean, they REALLY know me...they have secrets and stories...); I also have friends who challenge me to look up rather than around for answers - they know me, they 'get' me.

Rather than to focus on my nasty dirty house, I am going to be glad that I HAVE a house that is messy.

Rather than to focus on what money we don't have for the adoption, I am focusing on the money we DO have.

It's a choice...I might have to cry it out to get over it, but it's OK.

and then...

Marty had a dream last night that I was pregnant.


That's all I am going to say about that.

the funny thing about Russian culture

Maybe it's just my experience in Russia - but generally, nothing gets done unless you specifically ask for it. For example, in the United States, you would assume that if someone was traveling here to see someone - and you were facilitating that...you would assume that they would want to see that person as much as they could during their stay. This isn't the case in Russia.

Case-in-point
When we were in Russia a year ago, we got the Irkutsk and settled into the apartment. Typically, you do that - and then late morning you will get a call from your facilitator telling you what time a car will come to get you to take you to the orphanage to see your child. So, we waited, and waited, and waited. After lunch, we called our coordinator and asked about the driver and so on and was told, "oh, I did not know you wanted to visit today, no drivers or interpreters are available at such short notice"

[insert huge disappointment here]

So I have learned that when traveling to Russia, I am very careful to be sure to mention that I want to see Anya on the day of our arrival.

I learned yesterday that our documents seem to fall in the same category as the 'arrival day' assumptions. For 40 days, I've been sitting wondering what is going on with our documents. Every 4-5 days, I send a note to our coordinator asking if there is any news, and ALWAYS hear the same thing "nothing yet".

A few days ago, I sent a note to our coordinator that was a little more stern, with a tone of serious concern, and I said "what can be done to speed things up?". The reply I got said, "Would you like me to submit a letter to the court requesting an written statement as soon as possible"...um YA that would be nice! Especially given that we were due a statement 35 stinking days ago!

Unbelievable...and so typical Russia!

What for Mother's Day?

Why a necklace of course! I am having trouble updating the website with new locations and new fundraising totals, but will figure it out eventually...

I think (and I may be a little bias) that this necklace is the perfect Mother's Day gift! It is a story about a mother...it helps to build a family - and it's fashionable to boot!

Get yours today! http://bring-anya-home.com/necklace.html

1-month and counting

Well, our documents have been waiting for a statement from the Judge for one month...30 days...with NOTHING.

The last word I got from our coordinator (on Sunday) was:

well, the judge should have responded within a few days after the deadline. I spoke to the judge's assistant yesterday and she says that she had no information yet.

So, what do we do? The only choice is to wait - apparently there is no 'law' that says how long a Judge has to reply, unless it is written in the legal statement...or something like that.

UNBELIEVABLE!

I have to ask why? Why waiting AGAIN!? Why when things start moving, do they stall (for what seems like eternity) with us? Do we not have enough Faith? Enough Hope? Have we not prayed enough over this situation? If we don't get Anya out of there (or have a court date) by her 7th birthday, she will be transferred to another orphanage with older kids...without going into details, BAD things happen in those orphanages. She turns 7 the end of June.

Seriously, WHY?!?!?!

still no news

Still nothing.

Earlier this week, I sent a note asking the following:

Just out of curiosity, why is there another new Judge?

I thought the judge had 5 days to respond to our documents. We are past the 14 day mark. With the new judge, do we have to start over – or will the new judge recognize the statements provided by the original judge? I am concerned that our case has been in front of 3 Judges now – and that we have not yet received a new legal statement. From here, what can we expect?

Do you know if the Judge has called for Anya’s documents to be prepared yet? When that happens, I really want to know – from all others account of their experiences, it seems that the court date is generally 2 months from that point…that is good information for us to have from a planning stand point.

Here is the reply I got:

Kathy, hi,

well, we all thought that it would be a man but all of a sudden, a female judge was appointed

So...as you can see, even when you ask specific pointed questions, it is hard to get answers. Yes, we can call, however there is a 13-14 hour time difference between here and there - which makes planning a call a little tricky. If we don't hear anything by the end of the week - we're going to call.

Seriously, can't ONE STINKING THING be easy or as expected?

Seriously, can't ONE STINKING THING be easy or as expected?

Heck no!

2 weeks ago, as you know, we submitted the documents that were requested by Judge #1 (Stepanova). She initially reviewed our case and accepted it in March - this review was done with her replacement, Judge #2 - a man. All we know about this guy is that he is younger, a father, friendly and more pro-international adoption than other Judge's have been. We also learned that this new man judge takes his own sweet time in responding to things.

After we meet the judge's deadline - the Judge then has 14 days to respond. The 14 days was up yesterday...or maybe the end of the week if weekends don't count toward that 14 days (who knows!?). I know that our documents were delivered back to Judge #2 - the guy.

Since that time, there has been some talk about another Judge (Judge #3). So, I asked about the name of the Judge, and was told this Judge is Popova AA (no one knows what the "A" and "A" stand for), but in fact, this is a woman.

Why am I concerned?

Because this is the 3rd Judge our case has been in front of in 30-45 days. Each has a different opinion, take and set of unwritten rules and requirements...apparently we are being asked to meet the requirements and expectations of all 3 stinking judges.

I am not thrilled.

But, that is all my conjecture. I don't know WHO has our case. Judge #1, #2 the guy or this new #3. I've asked, but don't have answers yet.

So - I reiterate. Seriously, can't ONE STINKING THING be easy or as expected?

no news is...well, no news

I keep emailing our "guy" in Irkutsk to ask for an update. I think technically, the Judge has 14 days to respond to our updates...which would be this coming Monday or Tuesday.

Got a note today that said, "what we know so far is that the new judge is friendlier and less biased against international adoptions. I have not received yet the legal statement. For other cases, including the European cases the judge takes more time to issue a legal statement or decisions of acceptance. . "

So...nothing.

thanks

Blogs are funny things. I took this blog private about 6 weeks ago. I sent out invitations to those who asked for one...didn't assume anyone would want to read my ramblings about the adoption.

I quickly found out that a lot of people who I thought would be on the 'inside track' aren't -and that is OK! not complaining at all... Not everyone thinks the adoption is a good idea, and not everyone cares, and not everyone is on our side of this...AND THAT IS OK!

But, please, be honest...

The other day I was talking with one such friend, and she out and out lied to me. She said "I just went to your blog to get an update, so what's going on with things"...obviously she hadn't gone to the blog - she isn't a reader, fan or one that got an invitation. When I menionted that this summer looked to be THE TIME, she did everything in her power to not change the expression on her face, and she tried to act like she was well aware of that piece of info.

She didn't know.

And, that's OK!

Marty and I have been through a lot of things in our lives, some seriously crazy stuff. One thing that remains a common thread is that when stuff happens in your life that changes the trajectory of things...your real true friends bubble up to the top.

Thanks for being that group of real true friends...who have bubbled up to the top. Our pals from every phase of life, and some that I've never met...thank you for coming to me with money making ideas, and for sending me emails about how you're praying for us (even tho you have things in your OWN life that deserve your uninterrupted prayer!).

I love you all...am blessed and humbled.

That's all!

Guess it's time for an update

I guess I should post an update...it's been a while.

Long story short...we're waiting again. Waiting for the Judge's statement.

We got the Russian certification of our apostilles from the Russian Consulate. Impressive! I think this should be step #1 in the process...so pre adoptive parents can see what a "notary" looks like in Russia. Seeing this explains why ours looks unofficial and fake.

It is bound by a ribbon, and there are grommets that go through each page of the document that is being certified. There is also a stamp that is on both the certification statement and the actual document (so you can't 'fake' that).

I hate this waiting...but it is the story of our lives. I am a little concerned that with this recent wait, it will put off a court date until July - which means we would need to be in Irkutsk in August. August is a vacation month for most Russian people, and I know that the Judge always takes a vacation in August...with any vacation comes crazy shutdowns and waits...I am not so excited about footing the bill for any unnecessary weeks in Russia. But, it is what it is!


I am conflicted about June. From a business perspective, June is a month when I am fairly busy at the first of the month. My dilemma is...do I book things like I normally do? I was holding off booking anything the end of May, but I threw out that idea this week, and booked some events for late May. At this point, there is no way we're going to get a court date that would require us to leave in 6 weeks...and we need money, so I need to work. Ahhh yes, the double edge sword all PAPs face! Put your life of hold, or continue with life as (sorta) usual.

Supposed to be hearing something - anything

Hi friends,

Just wanted to share that we should be hearing something in the next 24 hours. From what I understand, our documents went to the Judge today - and our coordinator was going to ask for a court date.

Of course, I'm not new, so I know that 24 hours in Russian time means 72ish...so I'm not holding my breath.

As with everything, we're praying our way through this.

Easter in Russia

I was thinking the other day, I've been in RUssia for Mother's Day, Easter, New Years, Labor Day and Halloween. THe exact years I was there are a little sketchy, but I think:

2004 - Halloween (I don't think we were there for Halloween day, seems like we got home jsut before Halloween..but we were there for Halloween, that's my story and I'm stickin to it)

2005 - Easter

2006 - Mother's Day

2007 - Labor Day

2008 - New Years

One of my best times of the year in Russia is the Spring time. THe winters there are so cold and long (ha! Kind of like here in the mid-west!), once springtime comes, it is a welcome sight!

Just like here, Easter serves as the kick off to Spring. Some of the Easter traditins in Russia are pretty neat.

I was reading my friend's blog tonight, and she posted this great article on the RUssian Easter traditions:

Easter (Pascha) in Russia

by Don Fairbairn

Of course, Christians all over the globe join together on Easter Sunday to celebrate the resurrection of Christ, and one could probably go to an Easter service anywhere and recognize (to some degree) what was taking place. But there are also many differences in the way Easter is celebrated in different parts of the world. In particular, there are differences in the way Western Christians (Protestants and Roman Catholics) celebrate Easter and the way Eastern Orthodox Christians (members of the churches which descended from the Greek-speaking wing of the early Church) celebrate it. Perhaps it will be interesting to us in the West to learn about some of the customs related to the celebration of Easter in the East (and especially in Russia).


The most obvious difference is that Easter is normally celebrated on a different Sunday in the East and the West. Ever since the Council of Nicaea (A.D. 325), Christians have celebrated the resurrection of Christ on the first Sunday after the first full moon after the vernal equinox (March 21). For most of Christian history, the church used the old Julian calendar (invented in the time of Julius Caesar in the first century B.C.) to determine when the vernal equinox would be. But in the sixteenth century it became clear that the Julian calendar was lagging behind astronomical time, and a new calendar (the Gregorian) was proposed. The Western Church accepted this new calendar, but the Eastern Church rejected it. At present, the Julian calendar is 13 days behind the Gregorian calendar, and is gradually losing more and more time. That means that whereas we calculate the date of Easter from March 21 by our Gregorian calendar, the Eastern Church calculates it from March 21 by their older calendar, which equals April 3 by our calendar.

The Eastern Church also insists that Easter must follow the Jewish celebration of Passover in any given year, and that celebration is based on yet a third calendar. Depending on when the full moon occurs and when Passover takes place, Eastern Easter can fall on the same Sunday as Western Easter, or it can follow it by one week, four weeks, or five weeks. Normally Eastern Easter is one week later, and this year is no exception.

A second big difference has to do with the hour of the day when Easter is celebrated. Of course, we are familiar with Easter sunrise services. But in the East (especially in Russia), Easter services last all through Saturday night. The congregation gathers in the church or cathedral on Saturday evening and takes part in an Easter vigil commemorating the buried Christ. Orthodox church buildings have an inner sanctuary blocked off from the sight of the worshipers, and at this point the door to that sanctuary is closed, signifying that the way to God is closed. But at the stroke of midnight, the priest throws the doors open and emerges, shouting, "Christ is risen! Christ is risen! Christ is risen!" After hours of silent anticipation, the congregation comes to life and shouts back, "He is risen indeed!" This custom powerfully demonstrates the way Christ’s resurrection has opened up for us the way to God.


One of my favorite Russian Easter customs has to do with dyeing Easter eggs. In Russia, children always dye the eggs red, never using other colors. The red dye, of course, symbolizes the blood of Christ. Furthermore, people crack the eggs open using nails, in order to remind themselves again of the death of Christ. As the eggs are cracked and the whites are exposed, people remember that the blood of Christ cleanses us from sin. Although our sins were as scarlet, we have been made as white as snow.

A mainstay of our Easter celebrations is the family Easter dinner following our worship services. In Russia, the corresponding dinner is actually a picnic, in which the entire congregation celebrates together. People bring food to the church on Saturday evening and ask the priests to bless it. Then after the long Easter vigil through the night and the celebration of the Lord’s Supper on Easter morning, people eat together on the lawn outside the church building. They believe that such an important celebration cannot be merely a private or family affair, and the worshipers are reminded by this communal picnic that all members of the body of Christ belong to one another.


Perhaps these tidbits about the celebration of Easter in Russia will not simply be interesting to us in America. Instead, they may also give us some ideas which we can incorporate into our own Easter celebrations, ideas which may help to re-focus our attention on the great truth which we all celebrate this Sunday: Christ is risen!

Fundraising necklace gets national play on website

Most of you know that I occasionally write for a national online magazine called "Blissfully Domestic". The editor of the fashion section did a story this week on the BRING ANYA HOME necklace.

Here is the story:

A Stylish Necklace to Help Out a Stylish Friend
By Jenny Rapson on April 6, 2009

One of the very vital team members here at Blissful Style and Blissfully Domestic is contributor and fashion expert Kathy Friend. Kathy has written some of my all-time favorite Blissful Style articles like this one on how clothes should fit. Girlfriend is a professional wardbrobe consultant and she knows what she's talking about!

Something you may not know about Kathy is that for five long years, she and her husband Marty have been trying to adopt Anya, a lovely little girl who lives in an orphanage in Irkutsk, Russia. (Please read their whole story here!) Now, after five years of tears, five trips to Russia and tens of thousands of dollars, Marty and Kathy, who have never given up on the little girl they love, see an end in sight - there is a very real possibilty that Anya could officially be their daughter by her 7th birthday in June 2009.

Read the rest of the story HERE

dreams

I know I've posted stuff on this blog before about the crazy dreams I've had over the past 5 years. Anyone who has been in the heat of an adoption can probably relate. I don't know if it is the constant prayer that brings on these dreams, or raging mommy hormones...who knows.

Well, the past 2 weeks, I've have 2 very vivid dreams. Here is a recap:

This last one I just had this past week. In this dream, we were able to raise so much money through the fundraising effort that we put it into a trust, and then any family that came after us was able to have their housing (apartment) totally paid for through this trust. Ask Debbie and Judy what kind of savings that is! Since most of you have no idea, it's about $170 a day...do the math. If you have to stay in Russia for 8 weeks, times $170 a day - that is about $9,500!

The last time I was in Russia, I was there for a week; I paid roughly $3,500 for just transportation to and from the orphanage and the apartment I stayed in! If we can help offset some of this outrageous cost, it would be a HUGE load off the minds of those of us who are in the heat of it!

I am hoping that my dream is prophetic! Just call me Kathy with the Amazing Technicolor Dream Coat – err, maybe Amazing Technicolor Dream shoes :)

Anyway - that was dream 1.

The other dream I had I KNOW was a God dream. Haven’t had many of these in my life, but if you have ever had one- you know it is…these dreams are different. Let's get to getting people to buy these Bring Anya Home necklaces!!!

Dream 2

So, I had this dream the night before all our documents were going to be mailed to Russia (about 2 weeks ago). I was sitting at my desk (as I always am), going through documents, trying to guess and second guess and think and rethink every detail. IN this dream, this voice (God) whispers to me “it is done, it is done, it is done”.

I respond to this voice, and say, “I know, but I just want to check one more thing, and make sure it’s done right”

The voice comes back and says…a bit louder “It Is Done, It Is Done, It Is Done”

The voice enunciated exceptionally well…I don’t know why, but that was significant in the dream.

Anyway, I replied to the voice again, and said, “Yes, I know, but I just need to check things one last time”

The voice came back again, this time in a LOUD, earth moving booming voice saying, “IT IS DONE!!”

…then I woke up.

Have you ever had dreams like this?

Fund Raising Website is up and running!

Took some time today to build a website to keep track of our fund raising efforts. You will also be able to order the 'Bring Anya Home" necklace on this site too!

http://www.bring-anya-home.com

Check it out!!

let the fund raisers begin!

This weekend officially kicks off our fundraising efforts to Bring Anya Home.

My friend and jewelry designer (Ali Oesch - you should always wear her stuff!) has made this one-of-a-kind necklace for us to sell. Isn't it beautiful?! To understand this necklace, you need to know me fairly well. From reading this blog - you may have a pretty good idea who I am and what I am all about. Things I've said about this journey always include the words strength and truth.

The 3 stones represent me, Marty and Anya.


The Pearl is important, not only because I wear pearls every day of my life (in one form or another), but because it is the stone of Truth.

The little silver bead represents the strength of platinum, and our strong resolve, and strong faith to bring Anya home.

And of course, the clear teardrop in the center, representing the many tears we've shed over making Anya wait to come home...the big tear also represents tears of Joy for the end of this story.

All of this I came up with, so if you have a better story to put with the beads, I'd love to hear it!

Ali will make as many as 100 of these for us to sell. Can you believe that?! We will retail them for $38 - and make them available anywhere that will offer to sell them for us!

I know you are dying for one, aren't you? Well, I will have the very first of this limited edition 'Bring Anya Home' necklace with me this weekend at Camellia The Makeup Store in Heritage Square in Granger. There will be some other great things there this weekend too that we'll be selling to raise funds.

Welcome Home Ninmann Family!

Today, the Ninmann family arrived safely in Chicago....and their flight was 1/2 hour early!


Another one of our 'Irkutsk' friends (Jane) also met at the airport. It is so fun to met the people in person you've been communicating with for such a long time.


So - we get to terminal 5 - the international terminal at O'Hare. The kiosk says that Debbie and Brian's flight should be coming into gate A...there are only 2 gates, and they are about 100 feet apart, so we move to gate A. We find Debbie's Mom and Dad, Brian's Mom and mom's friend, and of course, the other Ninmann boy -JJ. We must have looked crazy - staring everyone down that was exiting the corridor from exit A. Brian is tall - so Debbie's mom and I are looking at every single tall person trying to decide if that was Brian. About 20-25 minutes into our search, I turn around - and there is Debbie! WHAT????


Apparently they had to go through the red line in immigration (too hard to explain...) which means they came out the exit A. Ugh! So much for the perfect photographic moment as the Ninmann family comes out of the dark corridor to the whoops and hollars of family and friends!


It was such an emotional relief to see Debbie, Brian and Nathan. Knowing what they have been through, and trying to imagine what it will be like when we're walking through that dark corridor with Anya - seriously, it's too much to think about sometimes.


I can't wait to talk to Debbie to get the low down on the whole experience. Debbie - I promise I won't bug you! I'll let you get a good night's sleep and unpack :)

Here are some photos of our day.

Chicago area Irkutsk Moms

Jane - Debbie - Me

(yes Mom, I am slouching down so I don't look like a wookie)

The Ninmann Family

Brian, Debbie, JJ and Nathan Genya

Nathan Genya was very excited about his welcome

home balloons and the pinwheel from Jane!

Fundraising

We have several fundraising efforts in process right now.

My good friend, Ali Oesch, who is the most talented jewelry designer I know - is making a 'Bring Anya Home' necklace - can you believe that? I cried, seriously...when she told me. It is going to be STUNNING and come with a story card. We hope to have these available next weekend...

Camellia The Makeup Store is having a Spring Trend Event next weekend, and they've graciously asked me to participate with them. As a fundraising effort, we will be selling 'Bring Anya Home' pashmina/wraps, and I will have some of Ali's jewelry there too. STOP IN!

Marisha from 4Her (boutique) gave us a great idea on a fund raiser. Marty is working on the major part of it - so stay tuned for more details!

small update

We got everything done that was requested of the Judge - it goes in the mail on Monday...and I was able to send the package DHL which is 3 days guaranteed!

My Mom spent Friday in Indianapolis running from the Secretary of State's office to the State Health Department to the Department of Child Services...I don't know what I would have done without my Mom this week! I was so busy with work, trying to get to Indianapolis to get this done would have pushed me over the edge for sure - so, THANKS MOM!

We're heading to Chicago tomorrow to meet the Ninmann's plane from Russia. I am so excited to see Debbie and Brian, and meet Nathan! Stay tuned for photos and video!

Please Pray

I have talked a lot on this blog about our friends, the Ninmanns. They have FINALLY left Irkutsk (after 8 weeks), and are in Moscow for the last leg of the journey.

Nathan and Debbie when they were sill in Irkutsk

Apparently there is some issue with their son's passport (the one they had to wait 3 weeks to get)...I guess his middle name isn't on the passport - so they are getting all kinds of grief from the Embassy. Now the problems are with OUR OWN government!

I don't know all the details, but I do know that they need our prayers! Please pray that whatever the issue is, that is is simply and quickly fixed. I can't imagine the frustration this is causing our dear friends! I am mad, confused, frustrated and in prayer for them!

I'll keep you all updated as to the progress with this - but please please, remember this in your prayers.

The New Russian passport system

There has been much discussion and thought on the new biometric passport process in Russia. Basically what this means for those of us in the adoption world is that what did take about a week now takes up to 4 weeks (generally, looks like 3).

I did some research, and found the following - attn: all Irkutsk PAPs! Read up!

http://www.russianadoptionhelp.com/content/blog/2009/03/russian-biometric-passports.html

http://babelfish.yahoo.com/translate_url?doit=done&tt=url&intl=1&fr=bf-home&trurl=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.fms.gov.ru%2Fdocuments%2Fpassport%2Findex.php&lp=ru_en&btnTrUrl=Translate

should clarify

Thank you for your kind notes and offers to help...actually, there really is no one who can help. Anything that was ever done in any other part of Russia will be no good to us - and it appears that even following the document list that our friends, the Ninmann's, went to court with last month (in the same city) isn't a good plan.

One thing about Russia that you can count on - is to NEVER count on anything. I should know by now to now that I shouldn't get my hopes up on anything - ESPECIALLY when it comes to anything that has to do with documents and the Judge.

For some reason this reminds me of when I was getting my MBA. I had this horrible finance class, and a horrible professor who didn't speak English. I would ask a question like:

"Can you please help me through problem #2"

He would say, "Yes, thank you"

I would get a funny look on my face and say, "OK, well - it appears that we should be using the XYZ theory - but I can't find the starting point to get to the answer."

He would say, "Yes, thank you."

I would get a more irritated look on my face and say, "allrighty then, um, the answer I am getting is ABC, but I see in the key it should be XYZ, can you please walk through this with me - I am not understanding how to get to XYZ"

He would say, "Yes, thank you."

SO - assuming he understood what I was saying, I would sit there....silence....nothing....so I would follow up with "what page would I find the answer to this problem?"

He would say, "Yes, thank you."

I remember being so frustrated in that class, many times I would be up all night long in tears because there was no one who could help me. The one person whose job it was to help me - didn't understand a word I was saying.

This whole thing is kind of like that. The Judge doesn't understand that we don't have a Federal adoption law, she doesn't understand that Katherine A Friend is the same person as Kathy Friend, Katherine Ann Friend etc. I wish that I could get to the point of pity - that is what happened with the Finance prof - I felt sorry for him. I figured out other means to my answers in his class, and ended up with a B+ (still not sure how I pulled that one off).

TIMELINE
I should mention my timeline.

The documents need to be re-presented to the Judge by April 13. So - they need to be back to Irk by April 6 to be translated. Because it can take between 1-2 weeks to be delivered, we need to ship everything from here by March 23 (this will allow 2 weeks, worst case scenario). So, before things can be shipped, they need to be apostilled by the Secretary of State. Generally that will take one day to ship, and one day to process, and one day to ship out...it can be done all in one day, but that would require a 3 hour (one way) drive to Indianapolis...so - that would mean we need to ship things to the state by March 19th.

Today is March 13th...this is a weekend, not much can be done on a weekend. The 18th is completely booked with appointments....so that means I have Monday and Tuesday.

Assuming things can get shipped faster than 2 weeks (allow 1 week), then I have this full week.

I am very concerned about the police letters...I assume they want new state police criminal checks. This usually takes 7-10 days. You can't just show up and get it done...they mail it to you.

Joan - we'll need to get those stupid fingerprint cards done AGAIN - can that be done on the weekend?


DEBBIE AND JUDY - what did you do about the deed to your house? The Judge didn't accept the Quit Claim Deed to our house - did you show a deed?

NEED HELP!

Hi Friends, we just got the legal statement from the Judge - UNBELIEVABLE! I don't know how to answer most of this, and to be honest, I am so mad and upset right now, I am sitting here crying and shaking.

Basically, I have less than a week to get this done...after everything is done, it needs to go to Indy to be apostilled (add about 3 days), then ship to Irkutsk (which can take anywhere from 1-week to 2-weeks), and at least 5-6 days for translation (that is a generous time for translation)...right there is 3 weeks - UGH!

Since the blog is private now - I can post the entire statement. I am doing this so that you all can help me. I can't think clearly on this...some of you are Real Estate experts (LORI!!) and might be able to help. Note my comments in blue.

Legal statement

petition for adoption

- you need to add information that Anna was offered to Russian citizens for adoption but she was not chosen. (no big deal)
- You need to add your employment, positions and income (salary) for each of you.


apostiles for the state of Indiana:

the judge wrote that the apostiles of state of Indiana looked like it was a copy (no real stamp, no real signature).
Then she writes that the sentence that starting with May 1, 2003 all apostiles from the Indiana Secretary of State will have an electronically printed seal does not substitute a real apostile.
The judge suggested that we provide a copy of the Hague Convention that says that electronic apostiles can also be used by counties. ( articles 13, 14, 16, 18, 23 and 24) – conclusions and recommendations adopted by the special commission – the practical operation of the Hague apostile, evidence and service convention (28 October to 4 November 2003). Also I guess in 2003 the state of Indiana adopted an act regulating the use of electronically printed seal on the states’ apostiles. I think we will need a copy of the act.

Please note that copies of the act or Hague convention should be certified by a notary only.

Apostiles of California

The judge writes that the size of California apostiles (all NL documents) is not correct. We will give her a copy of the Hague Convention (article 13). Also for the Ninmans we applied to the Russian Consulate ( or Embassy) and they put a sticker on California apostile which said that the apostile was correct and it was issued in accordance with the Hague Convention. (already asked our California agency to help with this)

Marty’s passport photo was not of good quality for the judge. Make a new copy, so that Marty’s face was very clear. (this was the clearest copy imaginable, actually Jeanna at church made the copy, it was clearer than mine!)

Marty’s and Katherine’s employment letters (MasterMediaProductions) should be signed by the head (president or director )of the company. The position of Barry Hall – partner – has not satisfied the judge. So get new letters and get it signed by a president. (thing is, Marty is the president...so he can sign his own employment letter. In the past, since we are self employed, we had to get a letter from the corporate CPA attesting to the fact we are self employed....hummm...Barry was the corporate CPA)

the letter from the real estate agency – Rockwell which speaks about sq.m and price does not say who the discussed house belongs to. Add your full names to that document.

a letter from Elkhart County Assessor, sighed by Doug Thornton – this letter does not state timing of the house’s purchase, the basic reason of owning (will, inheritance, purchase and etc) and how it is divided between you both (equally, if not – give details).

the judge does not accept the quit claim deed ( she probably does not understand this, frankly speaking I do not understand it either) – she asks for a legal document that shows your full ownership of the house. She says that this document ( quit claim deed) does not say what you own exactly, it does not say that it is a living house, it does not say how it is divided between you both (equally?), it does not say what your ownership right is based on. It does not say when Marty obtained this right for the 1st time. (not sure what to do about this - help!)

For example, the French and Isreali families provide a 30 page Purchase Agreement which states all facts and details of the deal, including price, descriptions of the parties, all conditions, descriptions of the house and etc. (no can do, Marty built this house, he didn't purchase it from anyone)

If it is not the case we may need some sort of clear explanation from Elkhart City Recorder concerning quit claim deeds. Please take into account that in Continental Law (most of Europe) all these documents are very precise and detailed. This is what the court is expecting. May be the Elkhart City Recorder can again confirm what you own, how you obtained that right, your parts in this house, your property should be called a living house.

new police letters with your full names

we need a new letter from the Elkhart Superior Court, composed in the same way it was done previously, in August 6, 2007 (signed by David Bonfiglio) (it was detailed and it addressed all aspects that the judge was asking). The new letter that you have just provided is not really good.
medical reports… the judge wrote that the medical reports do not have the official (heraldic) stamp of the hospital. There’s indeed one official stamp of the South Bend Clinic at the last page of each report, it was imprinted in the paper, I did not see it myself but later I did find it. (of course, there is no such thing as an official hospital stamp in the United States, and the medical lic board isn't going to call something an official stamp that isn't required by all clinics.)

Coordinator comments: make new medical reports, even with the same dates. Use just one apostile for each report as it is rather difficult to use the medical report with several apostiles attached. The organization of each report is brilliant, as you have enough space for each specialist and all stamps are clear to read. Now, leave more space again for the official stamp, as you will need to ask for this stamp to be put for each specialist (in the head doctor space). I think may be you can use one page for one specialist, so you will have 8 pages, 8 official stamps.

Then, I suggest ask the Indiana health board to write a separate letter saying that that particular stamp is an official (heraldic) stamp for that Hospital.

11. Children’s Bureau (no idea on this...need to send off to INdy)


The judge writes that the explanation letter concerning Children’s Bureau ( of January 20, 2009) is not signed by the head of Indiana Department of Child Services.

What I suggest is – try to get the similar letter with more focus on the function to do home studies for adoptive families. I guess it would be impossible to get it signed by the head of the department. In this case we will need a letter showing the delegation of authority (from the head of the department) to sign the documents to the people who signed that explanation letter.

The judge also asked for a copy of the law that would state that the Indiana Department of Child Services is entitled to issue licenses to child placing (adoption) agencies and that Indiana Department of Child Services may write some sort of explanation letters explaining the competence of the adoption agencies and type of work they can do. The license itself is very short and it does not really state what functions Children’s Bureau has, and the judge wants to make sure that Indiana Department of Child Services does not exceed its authority by explaining what Children’s Bureau can do. Try to get only relevant pages of the law, we won’t able to do translations on time if has many pages.

Concerning Nightlight Christian Adoptions …

The judge would like to see a confirmation that California based agency ( NL) may approve a family living in another State (state of Indiana, in your case).

or California based child placing agency may approve a home study done by an agency located in another state. In your case the judge would like to make sure that all commitments signed by NL in regard to you and Children’s Bureau were correct and legal.


we need a new commitment to provide post placement reports from you – the one you sent is good but you need to add a sentence to it – that you will give a possibility to Children’s Bureau to monitor the living conditions and upbringing of Anna (her full name).


we a need a new Embassy letter (with your full and correct names).


the judge requested to see Indiana Adoption Law. (we did prepare this, but apparently it was not presented to the Judge...no one else has had to do this, they only had to submit the relevant parts of the law)

I did not give the judge the copies of the law which were attached to the attorney’s explanation as I thought there were confusing with all details in it. So the judge asked for a “full” Indiana Adoption Law. I do not think we will have an ability to translate tens of pages of the law, so may be you can again provide these copies. The copies need to be certified by a notary. Also we may need copies of the law where the specific requirements for adoptive parents are outlined. For example, you need to be an Indiana resident, aged 18 or older, married for at least 1 year and etc… to be approved as prospective adoptive parent.

Also the judge asked for a US Federal Adoption Law. I am not sure that there’s one. May be we can give INS regulations? (there is no such thing, I did ask our California agency about this, if I need something else from the INS, I am going to lose my mind!)

Please note that if your names are mentioned in any new documents - they need to be full, as in the passports. (they say Katherine Friend or Katherine A Friend, not Katherine Ann Friend - are you freaking kidding me??? As if she doesn't know that is ME!)

funny things

Now this this blog is private, you might find that I'll speak a little "free-er" than I normally do. ...and I just heard some of you say to yourselves "what possibly could she say that she hasn't already said"?

Who knows.

I just want to share a funny thing that people keep saying to me. I am sharing this especially for Debbie and Judy (because I know they've gotten this too).

Random Person: "Wow, there is some big reason this adoption has taken so long"

Me: "I know..."

Random Person: "Maybe you are supposed to start an adoption agency or help adoptive parents or something"

Me: (trying not to laugh uncontrollably) "Help my friends in Irkutsk, yes, but as a business - or something I deal with every day? Um, NO!"

No offense to all you PAPs or APs out there, but you have to admit, we can be a real emotional unreasonable bunch. The only thing worse that I can think of would be working with Brides...yikes! But PAPs are worse - there are more hormones involved.

I prefer to think that the big reason in all this is to save us or Anya from something - and whatever that thing is (or was), we might never know. Maybe someday I'll roll this story into one of the talks I do...which if funny - can't you just see my one-sheet:

Kathy Friend, wardrobe coach - fashion expert
Kathy can provide your group or organization with informational and
inspirational talks on:

• Finding your Style
• Dress To Your Business Card
• Finding your Passion (for teens)
• Fashion in Russia
• How to plan for a 7-8 week trip to Irkutsk
• Keeping Busy while on the Adoption Road

Anywho - I hope to be able to update you all with news in the next day or so!

right thing at the right time

I was reading my friend's (Debbie) blog tonight, and she posted the following. It so clearly speaks to the situation several of us are in right now - I wanted to share it with you:

God Limits All Evil

It’s not so very hard to believe in a kind and loving God when your health is good, when you have enough money, and when people are being nice to you. I can’t blame you if your faith is shaken when it looks as though your life is going from bad to worse.

When the angels fly over a children’s hospital, they can hear a steady stream of anguished cries from fearful parents geysering up to heaven.Have you ever felt as though you were going under with troubles? Do you ever feel as though nothing is working right for you? King David knew that feeling. Pursued, outnumbered, exhausted, he wrote, “Help, LORD, for the godly are no more; the faithful have vanished. …

Everyone lies to his neighbor” (Psalm 12:1,2).But your life is not out of God’s control. He sees everything going on in your life, cares about you, and acts at just the right time to set limits to what you must endure.

That same psalm says, “‘Because of the oppression of the weak and the groaning of the needy, I will now arise,’ says the LORD. ‘I will protect them’” (verse 5). God always gets the last word, and his last word is, "I love you. Help is on the way."

Update

I have just a minute but want to post a quick update.

Documents were presented to the Judge today. The meeting was over 2 hours long. Both the new judge and the old judge were there. Old J. had a log to say about our documents...not we wait for 2-3 days until we get the legal statement. This is a legal document that will tell us what she is requesting in terms of additional information / documentation. The hope is that at that time, she will also call for Anya's documents to be prepared (that is a good sign, and that is a HUGE milestone when that happens)...so - keep praying!

More details later - need to run to church!

I171-H HAS BEEN APPROVED!

I can't believe it. at 4:35 today, I got a note from the Chicago field office of the USCIS that simply said "Your I-171h was approved and forward to Russia."

I think they approved us just to shut me up. I don't really care - whatever the reason, it is DONE DONE!

Although the timing isn't what we needed, our hope is that our friends in Moscow at the Embassy are able to fax something to our coordinator in Irkutsk for the appointment today. I am sure a faxed copy of a current letter, with confirmation of the letter being sent is better than a copy of an old approval from 2007.

Thank you all SO MUCH for your prayers. I'm not sure what time our dossier is being presented to the Judge, but I am sure our friends (the Ninmann's) who are still in Irkutsk will hear news before we well...and I am more than confident that Debbie will email me when she knows ANYTHING.

Today is also the day the Ninmann's should be hearing if their son's Passport is in - this means they might be able to book flights home today! YAY!!!!

With that, the blog goes private tonight. Stay tuned for the last chapter of the story!

blog goes private in t-minus...

Sometime in the next few days, this blog will be private. If you want to keep seeing what's up in this crazy adoption story, you need to let me know! If you've already sent me an email, or posted a comment to let me know - you will be getting and email invitation.

With our dossier being presented to the Judge in Irkutsk on March 11, the time has come for us to make the blog private.

When the story is over, we'll open up the blog once again for everyone to read...we hope that will be late Spring / early Summer.

Prayers and such

Our friends, the Ninmann family - who have had a successful court hearing but are still in Irkutsk. They have custody of their adopted son, Nathan, but are on week-7 in Russia. They are waiting for Nathan's passport for them to travel. We don't know how long this process takes (the process was recently revamped, and no one seems to know how long it takes, 2weeks? 3weeks? Please pray that God intervene in this process, and that Nathan's passport appear SOON!


Our friends, the Holmes family - they have also had a successful court hearing, and just arrived home last week. We're praying that the transition for their adoption son, Harry, continue to be good, that Skip (the brother) also adjust well, and that Judy and Mike (mom and dad) are able to get some much needed rest.

...and for us, prayers and fund raising
It is uncomfortable talking about money -especially with friends and some on this blog we don't even know. The facts are that money is a very real part of adoption. I know there has been some 'jabber' out there about my transparency on the money thing. That's me...I'm pretty transparent. Could we afford to do this if the economy didn't tank? Yes. Did we have a back up plan in place 'just in case'? Yes. Has the amt. we've spent to-date exceeded what we ever thought we'd spend? Yes. Is what we'll need when we head back to live in Russia for 7+ weeks more than we thought? Yes. Does any of this matter? No. What matters is Anya. She is what ALL of this is about.




We're praying for the financial aspects of our situation. The facts are bleak, the economy is poor, and the need is great, and quite honestly - overwhelming. Having said that - let me assure you that I KNOW GOD IS IN CONTROL, I know we have not come this far to have it all fall apart just because the incompetency of the USCIS or because the economy is crappy and we're broke.


Our dear friend (and fellow Irkutsk family), Lisa Young, has offered to help. She is going to act as our 'point person' on a fund raising effort that will continue throughout March and April. If you would like to help, want to pray specific needs for us, if you have a great fund raising idea or know of a fast grant, please email Lisa at LNYoung1 at a o l dot com.



FIRST FUNDRAISER
The first fund raiser will be Friday, March 27 and Saturday, March 28th at Camellia The Makeup Store in Heritage Square in Granger. I'll be there as part of a 'spring trend event' - all of the proceeds from the sale of my services that weekend will go to the adoption fund.


I'll also have Spring scarves for sale (pashmina type) and maybe some jewelry from Ali Oesch - all of which will go to the adoption fund.

Proof they don't know which way is up

Well, I have spent the morning on the phone and sending emails to everyone in their brother who might be able to help.

The Embassy made a call to Chicago to "set them straight" this morning - this is great news!

Talked to Donnelly's (our Congressman) office - they are going to make an inquiry for us this a.m. This will be the second inquiry from a Congressman (the other came from Congressman Souder's office).

Then I got an email from the CIS (Citizen and Immigration Services) in Chicago that said "Your file will not be review with no the home study and as of this morning your home study has no arrive to this office." I am resisting commenting on the brutal hack job of the English language in this note...so I will just say ARE YOU KIDDING ME?

We've sent 3 complete original homestudies...before I go completely crazy, get in a car and drive to Chicago, I am waiting to hear from our homestudy agency with some details on when they sent the most current version on the HS. I've sent one to them 3 times (and have a signature as proof that it was delivered)...

Here is the kicker...here is what I got from the SAME PERSON 3 days ago, I'm NOT kidding:

The home study was received the last week of February was reviewed.

Are these Labor Pains?

We're still working with the United States Citizen and Immigration Services office in Chicago to get our I600A approved. I am seeing an amazing side of our government in action.

No phone number.

No one to talk to.

No fax number.

Only an email that is checked one time a day.

Today the USCIS came up with something else that needed to be included in our homestudy. The shocking thing, is that we submitted (almost identical) documents this time, as we did in 2005 for approval...and never had a problem in the past.

We're working with 2 Congressman's offices, the Embassy in Moscow, Catholic Charities, and both of our agencies to get this done.

We could use your prayers on this - it is a bureaucratic frustration to the n-th degree!

We need for the USCIS to approve our petition first thing in the morning on Friday (tomorrow) to allow enough time to get word to the Embassy in Moscow - so they can produce the letter we need to get to Irkutsk - the letter needs to be in Irkutsk before Wednesday (which is Tuesday, our time).

NO PRESSURE! ...but such is my life in the past few months. This is my every day - and people wonder why I am a little touchy, a little on edge, seem a little stressed. Mystery solved!

Cool or complete geek?

Today I talked to 3 different adoption agencies, 2 Congressman offices, emailed USCIS 3 times, faxed a note to the CIS, and communicated with the Embassy in Moscow. Does that make me the coolest kid on the block, or the geekiest?

I found out that yes, the competent employees at the Chicago USCIS are requiring us to complete the checklist for the Hague countries. Basically, when you adopt internationally, you need approval to do so from the USCIS. there are 2 forms - the one you use depends on which country you are adopting from. One is for Hague countries, and the other is for non-Hague countries.

Seems simple, right?

Well, Russia is not a Hague country. But the USCIS is making us adhere to the Hague country requirements. According to the agency the most-in-the know: "Most CIS offices are totally uninformed about the difference between Hague and non-Hague countries, and are wanting all h/s to be in the Hague format."

Nice.

What does this mean? Our social worker had to pull a rabbit out of a hat and redo our home study today. She worked with another person at another agency who is an expert in Hague country requirements...between the 2 of them, they figured it out and faxed it off to USCIS.

In the mean time, I am going to make some kind of formal complaint via our Congressman about this. We as tax payers, pay these people's salaries - we pay for them to know what they are doing! I shouldn't have to fight a battle to prove that Russia isn't a Hague country for cryin' out loud!

Our Congressman's office has been great. Our contact there called me today and said "Kathy, I've been thinking about this all last night and all day today, something about it doesn't sit right in my spirit. We need to stay involved until the end".

And yes, I still do have hair...however I have picked off all of my nice fingernails.

it's always something, isn't it?

I am not kidding, I just get done worrying about one thing, then something else pops up!

Now, it's the INS approval from the USCIS...

We've been approved for the past 4+ years. The approval expired, so we had to completely redo the whole thing. We resubmitted everything that is required - and they ask for more. We supplied that - I asked to day what the status was, and here is what I got:

"The home study received the last week of February was reviewed. A Request for Evidence has been issued due to missing elements on the home study. Please patiently await the Request for Evidence Form in the mail."

So I replied back with:
"Thank you for the reply. We are in a serious time crunch as our documents will do to the Judge in Russia on March 11th (which is the 10th our time). Is it possible for you to please tell me what is missing or what you need clarification on? We don't have the luxury to wait on the mail. Without this approval, the Embassy will not be able to issue a mandatory letter for our file. Without that letter, we will not be able to obtain a court date. What can be done?"

I got this:
"call your agency"

So, I did - and they have not received anything from the USCIS.

Nice.

So I call our Congressman's office. Nice lady tells me that 'something doesn't sound right', and she suggests I call this "adoption expert" in Ft. Wayne at Catholic Charities. So I did. Had to leave a message, and haven't heard back.

Are you KIDDING ME?!

I talked to our social worker - she is floored, and has no idea what in the world they might want. She thinks maybe they think it is necessary for us to apply for an I800 (which you need in some countries, but not in Russia), or maybe they think we need another form (that you need if you are in Illinois, but Indiana residents do not need this).

And of course, there is no phone number where you can call these job-lovers at the Chicago USCIS. The only way to contact them is via email - and they only respond to email one time a day.

Need second bottle of Maalox! Please send other antacids!

oh ya...

I don't know how this day got away from me without me posting an update on the box.

Well, it was delivered...on the 25th at 11:30am! Got a note from our coordinator, and he has the box in his possession - YAY!

This is just another story of how the power of prayer can overcome obstacles!

was just thinking

I have been thinking about my friends (the Holmes) who have had to spend 7 weeks in Irkutsk...and my other friends who are on the 6th week (the Ninmanns)...and wondering what it would take to do that (aside from the financial part).

What do I do every month that I couldn't do...things like my facial regimen between the various lotions and potions - it'd be one thing every night. I know this sounds really high maintenance, but I keep thinking there is some magic lotion or potion out there...so I try several in small doses.

Of course getting my nails done would be out of the question. I know there are nail salons over there now, but I doubt they do the basic pink and white fill that I like. I took off my fakes this week, trying to save money - and this is a good way to strengthen my nails for life in Irkutsk. I've had fake nails on for YEARS (literally, about 15 years), so we'll see how long this lasts. I had a few unexpected cash projects this week - and that cash is burning a hole in my pink wallet...and is screaming to me "get your nails put back on!". It's funny, I can't do anything without fingernails - hard to type, can't pick anything up, forget buttoning!

What about hair!? I get my hair cut / colored about every 5 weeks. I know, you are all in SHOCK, I am not a natural blond. I know I act like it (I tell ya, the bleach had just sunk into my head after all these years). What am I going to look like after 7 weeks? YIKES! 5 weeks is my limit. I wonder if I can take the ingredients with me and do it myself? That is one I am going to have to think about...

My electric toothbrush. Have you ever used one? If you do, then you will understand...going 7 weeks without that deep cleaning of my teeth? Blech.

7 weeks with out my Bible study girls, 7 weeks without church, 7 weeks without my Blackberry, 7 weeks without the variety of options in my closet (I know now that sounds...just remember I work in the fashion industry and am blessed with a lot of clothes and shoes - a perk of the job!), 7 weeks without going on a client appointment, 7 weeks without showing clothes. ODD!

And my house...we have serious dust issues in this house - especially that time of the year. You have to at least wipe everything off once a week.

What about the yard? We live on 3 acres of land. It is going to need mowing...my brother used to like to come over here when we were gone to play farmer brown on the tractor - but he moved. Hummmm....

The fur babies...our kitties. Jazz and Lola are used to us being here all the time. When we're gone for a week, that is one thing - but I think it is mean to leave them alone for that long. Someone will come in and feed them every day - but that isn't' the same as us being here. Cats are very social animals, and get depressed easily. Ugh - this makes me sad. Need to find someone to stay at the house.

Bills - who is going to go through the mountains of mail and pay bills? I have to pay junk about every other week. I don't really pay attention to what is due when, I just pay what comes in the mail. I guess I should start paying attention, huh?

Any tips? Anything I am not thinking about?

At FedEx Facility in.....

I am trying to clear my head so I can sleep tonight, so I go to FedEx.com (for the zillion-th time today) and this is what I see:


Feb 26, 2009 4:29 AM At local FedEx facility MOSCOW RU

YAY! No news on the customs end of things, the update mentioned something about International Shipment Release, but I don't think that's customs (seems like I remember it saying specifically 'CUSTOMS').

Now I can take one deep breath - and hope that the annoying twitch in my eye will stop now!

Thanks for all your prayers on this!

so much for the box getting to Moscow yesterday...

You know what they say about the best laid plans? Well, that is where my box of documents is...

Just checked FedEx, and the box (for whatever reason) is in Poyl, GB. Is GB even on the way to Moscow?

Keep praying for the box!

the saga of the box

So, I am patiently (and I use that term loosly) watching the progress (slow, but eventual) of the box containing the remainder of our documents.

It's kind of like watching paint dry. Or grass grow.

I think if I ever have to do something like this again where time is so critical, I am going to send the box to Moscow - to a person, then have that person turn around and send it to Irkutsk. Then I will be able to track it better...OK, ya, I am totally micromanaging this thing - aren't I? (so what's new?)

The box was to arrive today in Moscow. Well, right now - FedEx tracking says it left Indy...that's it, it left Indy.

On other exciting adoption things - want to be really depressed? Start keeping track of all your adoption expenses. I have been, but in different files. Tonight, I decided to combine all of those files and it gave me a (sorta close) grand total...YIKES! No wonder we're broke!

I think I am going to pull my hair out

There is more drama going on in the world of Russian adoptions.

I’ve spent a lot of time over the past day researching, reading and trying to discern between what is fact, what is fiction and what is talk. To be in the Russian adoption game for very long, you will acquire this skill...every year about this time, several 'rumors' surface. We will hear that the MOE has called for a moratorium on adoptions. We will hear there is a new judge in the region. We will hear that the MOE is proposing that independent adoptions be outlawed in Russia.

The latest can best be described as a correspondence (or maybe a white paper). It was a letter from the MOE (ministry of education and science - they run adoptions in Russia) to the regions. This letter contains a 7 page list of US agencies who have been black listed for not filing post placement reports.

In adoption, at least in Russia, you are required to file post placement reports. Some parents do not do this. Some agencies don't. This is the problem.

From everything I can come up with, it looks like this is a way for the MOE to try to control independent adoptions. There is a movement about every year to ‘outlaw’ independent adoptions, I can even remember scuttle butt about this back in 2004. An independent adoption is one that is going about the process without an accredited agency. Back in the day - independent adoptions were the norm.

Today, the way it is done (generally) is that there is a home study agency and a placement agency. The placement agency holds the accreditation in Russia, and they accept the responsibility for the post placement reports.

This list is a home study agency list – and it looks like every agency I can think of is on it – even our Home study agency in Indianapolis and Bethany. The MOE has suggested not to accept dossiers that include any documents / homestudies from agencies on this list. The good news is that the agency we're working with who hold accreditation in Russia is not on this list...which leaves us not knowing what this means.

We still don’t know how this is going to be interpreted in Irkutsk. From my experience, I would say that whatever the most horrible outcome could be – plan on that. Which means, redoing homestudies etc.

I have made contact with our home study agency and asked:
1. What are they doing about this, what is the plan to rectify the situation
2. If we have to redo the homestudy and all documents on their letterhead, what plan of action do they have in place to make this a smooth and fast transition – I also asked them to get on this ASAP.

Bold – yes…but at this point, with our documents going to the Judge in weeks (maybe even days), I want to lay some foundation work NOW so if / when the time comes – we already have the foundation laid.


Given this information, we need prayer. We don't now what this means, and is just another 'thing' we need to deal with...another 'thing' to cause frustration...and all now, when we are SO CLOSE.

Yea, I am mad, frustrated and about ready to pull my hair out!!

...off to drink a bottle of Mylanta

THE LIST
You can get to the list from some links that Karen Rhouse has posted. Here are some sources:
http://www.usynovite.ru/f/documents/federal/regulations/170209/prilogenie.doc
http://www.usynovite.ru/documents/federal/regulations/170209/
http://pear-now.blogspot.com/2009/02/home-study-agencies-with-missing-post.html

taking blog private

I thought I had better post an update so my friend Lisa B doesn't get upset :)

I FINALLY got everything I needed - I think the people at the South Bend Clinic think I am nuts, and I am sure I've made quite an impression on them (but I don't care)....the documents are done! I'll ship 'em off tomorrow.

The Holmes family have opened their blog - feel free to check out what is happening with them as they CONTINUE to wait to come home. I can't remember what week this is for them, but it is something like week 17? NUTS! http://waiting4harry.blogspot.com/

In a few weeks, we will be taking this blog private. This means that only invited guests will be able to see our posts. We'll do this until we go to court, and then open it back up again. So, if you would like to be on that invited list, and continue to read this blog, make sure you post a note here so I have your email address. You will get an email invitation in a few weeks.

Hot Button Issues

I think it’s time to share a little somethin’ that’s going on …on my blog…for the world to see.

Every since I got back from Russia, I feel like I have been attacked. Attacked in my job, with our finances, in some of my friendships. Attack after attack…and I am tired of it.

I have hot buttons like everyone else. Personally, as I have gotten older, I have learned what those hot buttons are and have done everything I can to avoid them going off.

On one hand, things are going so well with the adoption. Prayers are being answered, mountains moved – families are being made…hope is being given to children. It’s all big. It’s all good, and it’s all of Him. I am feeling the presence of God in my life and in my family in a way I haven’t - maybe ever. Marty’s trip to India and my trip to Russia restored energy to seek Him…something we both really needed and wanted.

On the other hand, I have spent countless hours and pounds of emotional energy on (what feels like) Kindergarten crap. I have worked hard (professionally) to do what I do for a living. I know some people don’t like it…I also know that some don’t like me. Honestly – if they met me, I really think they WOULD like me…they don’t even know me.

I have had to prove to creditors that I have paid bills. I had to remind the city of South Bend that I paid a parking ticket by hunting down a cancelled check from 7 months ago. I have had communications to our former accountant taken COMPLETELY out of context, words put in my mouth (that I didn’t say or write), and I’ve had to prove myself over and over and over again.

The things that are my hot buttons keep going off. These altercations (or what feels like an altercation) are the kinds of things (in my world) that would take me down, make me want to just go to my room and cry it out. These things keep coming at me like torpedo fire. I don't even have time to recoup, or cry it out before I'm dodging another one.

I am not an emotional person, but I have cried more in the past few weeks than I have in recent memory.

The thing about all this junk that makes me SO MAD is that I have spent all this time proving myself, proving I am doing what I am supposed to be doing…when I SHOULD HAVE been spending time working on finalizing adoption paperwork!

So, yes – I feel like I am being beat up and attacked. I don’t tell you this for sympathy, for you to tell me how things are going to get better, I don't want advice on which scripture to run to (did that)…I only post this for anyone else who is in the midst of an adoption. This kind of thing will happen to you too…especially if you believe in Christ, and put all your hope, trust and faith in Him. Just when you think "ahhh, this is all coming together, FINALLY" - you will take a deep breath, you will feel the tension in your shoulders start to relax...the BAM.

All I can do (all any of us can do) is pray our way through it. So I will pray for my current frustration and tears. I will pray for those who are fighting me…and I will keep on keepin’ on!

Ya know that song "I will praise you in this storm"...that's me, now.

more updates and such

I've been working on our documents, trying to be creative to meet the requirements set forth by Judge Stepanova. Today, it all came together. The last 2 pieces of the puzzle I needed were completed! YAY! I had a meeting tomorrow night get cancelled, which means that I will be spending that time working on organizing everything to send to the Secretary of State's office to be apostilled, then everything gets shipped off to Irkutsk! Looks like everything will be there on Friday!

We also heard today that the rumors that were going around when I was in Irkutsk in January have come to pass. Judge Stepanova will be replaced the end of March.

This new Judge will be hearing adoption cases - Stepanova will have nothing to do with adoption cases. This new guy is young, and has 2 kids.

I don't know what to think about this. Everyone else seems to be leaping for joy...I am cautious. I remember when Stepanova replaced the Judge before her (yes, I've been in this game THAT long!) - we were all so happy. We were just sure that was an answer to prayer - well, that isn't what happened...things got worse, a -thousand-fold worse (if that is even a legit term!).

The Holmes family...it's official!

I know I have said it a million times, but international adoption is a funny thing. At least in Russia it is!

You go to court, the court grants the adoption...but it isn't official for 10 days. The 10 days is more of a title than a period of time for waiting - that 10 days might really be like 14 days.

Well, a few days ago, that 10 days finally ended for our friends, the H family. Now that everything is official official, I can tell you that this is the Holmes Family!

Judy has opened her blog for the world to read, and I encourage you to take a minute, and read about her journey (that she is STILL on!) in Irkutsk. Please leave comments for her...she is there alone with the 2 boys, and the comments are what gives her a lifeline to a normal world. THe blog can be found HERE.