meet Luda

Before I get into this post, I feel like I need to share something with all of you. As you remember, months back I took this blog private. I did that for several reasons...primarily because I wanted to keep the very PRIVATE details of the last leg of this nightmares PRIVATE.

Russia has some pretty specific laws about photographs of orphans. I won't beat around the bush here....if the Judge got wind that I was using Anya's photo on the Internet, it would NOT be a good thing.

For that reason, I feel like I need to ask you to PLEASE PLEASE not share photos or information that I post here with anyone (ANYONE!). I personally know each and every one of you, that is why I feel comfortable in sharing a lot of very private information here, and posting photos of Anya. Thank you for understanding this delicate place we're in.

I've mentioned the Jackson family before. I have been following their journey in Irkutsk for quite some time. Tami (the Mom) and I traded emailed for a while, and then when I was in Irkutsk in January - I got to spend some time with their family. Since then, they've become very special to us...and we kind of think of them as our family who lives in Irkutsk.

The Jackson's have a wonderful woman, named Luda, who comes to their home to help out from time to time. Luda is from Shelechov, the same city where Anya lives. Luda was an orphan. She grew up in the same orphanage where Anya is. Luda has found Christ, and is sharing God's love with the orphans in that orphanage! In Russia....this is a REALLY BIG DEAL.

To put this into perspective: in January, I had a conversation with one of the caregivers (via a translator) about God. The caregiver didn't know what God was, and was calling God "the god". The translator didn't know what 'the god' was either, so couldn't translate for me.

This is why the fact that Luda has found the hope that only comes from Jesus Christ...in Irkutsk...is WOW! And, she chooses to share this Love with orphans! Yes, we love Luda!

...meet Luda. Here she is with Anya at a weekly Bible Study.



This photo Luda sent to us - I posted a Facebook message about it, commenting on Anya's "ball boy" shirt. She is not a boy! It makes me so sad to see her little chubby cheeks go away! This means she is growing up....far too fast for my liking!

This is the Bible Study group Anya is a part of. She is the youngest in the group, but is in this group because Luda teaches it. All of those faces deserve the Love of Jesus, and I thank HIM every day that Luda is showing them this kind of love!

time for some humor

You all know my husband is a creative genius. Sometimes that creative energy takes a scary, strange turn - below is the outcome of today's pent-up creative energy.

Yes, it's Mr and Mrs Fraken-Friend...or Kathy-stein and Marty-stein.

Things continue to move....

Last week, I told you the plan was for our case to be taken to the court above this Judge's head. I wasn't freaked out - worried or otherwise upset about this. Really...it didn't phase me. Which is kind of strange.

As we were talking back and forth with our guy in Irkutsk, we began to pray...and pray HARD. There were some decisions to make, some financial things to consider; so we just put it all in God's hands.

Our guy in Irkutsk got a call from the Judge requesting a meeting. odd. The Judge has been refusing appointments and meetings - and SHE is calling a meeting?

Long story short, the Judge told our guy that our case is very VERY close. The Judge encouraged us to make these minor technical changes to our documents.

We felt that this was a clear message - we need to press on with this Judge.

We're really feeling like this is the end of the road. We are nearing the end of this storm - waiting for God's miracle.

more junk

I am having a hard time reading through the entire legal statement we got yesterday.

Let me first qualify something:

• This is not the end of the road, but rather a more forceful direction. Because of that, it is good.

Having said that - I will share that I feel completely defeated. Everyone else who has adopted from Irkutsk has done so with a lawyer who is acting as an agency, or directly with an agency. We are doing neither. Because of that, when something is wrong with a document, it's all me - it's my fault.

Admittedly, I have a hard time seeing my own errors with paperwork when I know what it is supposed to look like and say. With the hundreds of documents we've submitted, I will also admit I have gotten lazy; just want to get it done.

So, we're moving forward. Well be wiring more money to Russia in the next few days to pay for this new lawyer. We're asking for your prayers - we don't have what is required, however I know God is all over this - so I am trying to not worry about it. It'll happen.

Stress

Got an email from our guy in Irktusk...it said that he got the legal statement from the Judge.

The statement is dated September 30th

He wasn't notified that the statement was done until October 9. Yes, he had been checking in on it.

He wasn't allowed to pick it up until October 12

I just got it today, October 14.

The Judge's deadline is October 21.

We have 7 days to appeal....which is what we're going to do.

Oh - and we also heard from our guy in Irkutsk, "I will need you to wire me some more money for the lawyer who is doing the appeal". But no mention of how much money. Since we have no money, I think I will wire about $50. Yes, I am kidding.

Heading to Supreme Court

Just got off the phone with Alex Irkutsk. He is our coordinator. He got a call from the court this afternoon. He was told that our file was not accepted, however he was not given a reason. And yes - according to Russian law, a reason MUST be given.

The court also said that a legal statement was written on September 30th, however Alex was not notified of this until today (Oct 9). This in and of itself is against Russian Law. He was also told that the statement would not be ready to be picked up until Monday.

So we're done. We're hiring a shark lawyer in Russia to appeal the Judge and take our case above her head. According to Alex, he feel s that this judge is asking for things that don't exist, and she doesn't understand...therefore isn't accepting our case. Which is not a reason to not grant a court date.

Alex also feels that the Judge is bias against us (gee, do ya think), so the appeal will include a request to have another judge hear our case.

Know we are not the only family in this current situation. There is one other family who is the same boat with us. It's good to not be alone!

Right now we need prayers. Prayers bigger than I can even verbalize.

update of sorts

I guess I should post something. I've been quiet for far too long.

As you know, we had a deadline to get some documents to the Judge a month ago. Well, the documents were apostilled wrong (apostille is basically, a certification from the Secretary of State)...so I had to redo them...in 4 hours on a Friday. That was fun!

Well, the new deadline for those documents was September 28th. The Judge has 5 days to respond to those changes. We should hear something this week...but in Russia time, that means next week.

Our hope is that the Judge will call for Anya's documents to be prepared. When this happens, it is a 2 month mark until a court date (basically). If the Judge finds that she want more crazy documents to be prepared, we will take our case to the Supreme Court.

After over 5 years, over 12 COMPLETE dossiers later, I am DONE with paperwork! There is nothing more that I can possible send to this Judge.

We've been calling Anya every 2 weeks to talk to her. My sweet friend (Larissa) who is Russian, has been helping us. Even tho it is hard to really hold a conversation with a 7 year old on the phone, it's good to hear her voice. We asked her what her favorite subject is in school...her answer...jumping. Yes, jumping!

She always asks (about the first thing she says) is 'when are you coming to take me home'. That is such a hard question to answer - for so many reasons. Mainly because I don't understand it...how in the world is a 7 year old going to understand it!?

Our missionary friends that live in Irkutsk have a nanny, Luda. Luda was raised in the same orphanage that Anya is in. Luda visited Anya the other day. So good to hear a real report of someone who visited her. Luda will be taking Anya to a Bible study once a week (if THAT isn't answered prayer, I don't know what is?!).

Well - that's all I know. I hope my next post is wonderfully fantastic news!

some the madness!

So, I have been tracking our package with the updated documents. We had about 10 days to come up with the Judge's latest requests...we did it. The documents got to where they needed to be...and then we got the call. The Secretary of State's office had messed up the apostille (certification) of all of the documents.

I'm not kidding.

I called the SOS's office to see what could be done, and it seems that they can't just give me new forms and seals, they need the original documents. Makes sense, I guess.

So I had the distinct pleasure of redoing EVERY SINGLE DOCUMENT today. The good news is that I am going to be in Indy on Monday anyway, so I can get them re apostilled.

The bad news is that this means we are forced to get an extension from the Judge. We've never had to do this before, and I don't know how this is going to make us look. I am a little concerned about it all.

Will keep you all posted!

Sweet Brit

It's happened 3 times to friends in the recent past. I swear, each time - it gets harder, not easier. When it has happened before, I didn't know what to do. I remember one time, I made homemade fudge. I don't know why - it seemed like the right things to do. Another time, I made chips and salsa...I always send flowers...but it is impossible to find the right kind of arrangement. Nothing seems to fit, be right, be exactly what I am looking for.


One time I wasn't here - I was in Russia. That was hard - I wanted to DO something, wanted to be there...whatever that means. I remember feeling horribly guilty that I was in Russia.


It happened again...



I am without words, without witty repartee, can't come up with a grand idea to make things better. I wish I had some kind of Godly wisdom that I could spout that would be so profound, so life-giving it would somehow cover the pain.



I wish I had answers, could point a finger, blame someone...



I wish it was a dream, that I'll wake up and look at the clock and think to myself, "wow, that was a horrible dream!"

All I have is prayer, and my heart. I wonder if trying to lovingly pray someone through a wicked time is enough. I wish I could let my heart run a ticker tape - then those who are mourning could see what I am really feeling, what I wish I could say to their faces...I hate it that all I can do is offer a hug and 'that look'. That stupid look...the one that says "I am so sorry, I have no idea what to say to you".


I don't know why children are taken. I can't sit here and spout some kind nonsense like "it's part of God's plan" (although, we all know it is). Sometimes your head knows things that your heart doesn't 'get'. This is one of those things, I just don't get.


Why is a child given to parents. Why is that child stricken with a horrid disease. Why does this child impact so many people in such a profound way...why was her time on this earth so short?

I think times like this, we remember with heavy hearts, and we try to be strong for those left behind. That is what I've tried to do...tried to not cry, try to be a pillar of silent strength...then hang up the phone and sob.

I wish I knew her better. I'll never forget the love she had for her Dad; the bond they had was a beautiful obvious thing. I won't soon forget the strong will that I saw in her eyes.

Cancer is a horrible thing. It destroys. It took Brit at the age of 17...it was too soon.

I pray that Brit's Dad and her family can draw strength from our Savior. Brit is now in His all powerful, all Loving, healing care. I am sure that our Father in Heaven holds sweet Brit in the palm of his hand, while she listens to her loud scream-y music, and paints her fingernails another new shade of black.

I think I will paint my toenails black - I bet she'd get a kick out of that.

now that I've calmed down...

Last Monday, we got another legal statement from the Judge in Russia...yes, ANOTHER statement. I 've lost track of how many this is, maybe 6 or 7? It is still beyond me what in the world there could be to say about our documents...that hasn't already been said.

But apparently there is plenty to say - 10 pages worth!

When I heard there was 10 pages, I didn't take it well. I actually ignored it, and pretended like it wasn't happening for a few days.

Now that I've calmed down, have had a chance to think about what is really being asked - it is manageable. Most of the 10 pages are things that need to happen with our coordinator in Russia. There are 15 things we need to take care of...and of course, we have about 5 days to take care of it.

Some of these things are crazy. In our homestudy etc., there is a description of our home. The description states our house has X number of rooms. So the Judge wants a photo of every single room. Pictures of the bathrooms, my messy office. FINE! I'll do it!

The Judge says that she can't read the documents because of the way some of the things were apostilled...apparently the staple covered a word or two. FINE! I will redo that for the billionth time.

The Judge also made a comment that some of the notaries signed the documents saying "signed and sworn before me"...the Judge's comment was 'who is me'. Are you kidding? FINE! I will redo those too.

Our marriage licence from Florida is a certified copy. As I am sure you all know, certified copies have someones signature. The Judge want some kind of verification of the person's authority to certify this license. Now mind you, none of the other things that are certified copies seem to be requiring this, just the one thing that is from Florida. FINE! I will figure it out.

There are some issues with our homestudy agency, and wording in what they have provided. FINE! I will kiss up to the agency who is so sick and tired of dealing with us and this mess. I will drive to Indianapolis, incur another $300 to have documents changed, I will try to obtain certified copies of the agencies license going back to 2005. FINE!

Basically, from here, this is what will happen:

1. We give all of the requirements to the Judge before Sep. 21 deadline.
2. If the judge rejects papers saying we did not meet her requirements, then we appeal immediately

Ya - I guess I am still irritated about this document thing...but I'll do it.

meet Spencer Gregory

Meet baby Spencer Gregory. He is the son of one of my long time BFFs. This is the closest I will ever be to being a newborns mommy. Let me say that holding this precious miracle, and knowing what it took to bring him into this world...took my breath away.

If the hospital room hadn't been filled with people I didn't know, I am sure I would have been a blubbering mess.

Little Spencer is about a week old today. Crazy how time flies. Next he will be saying Mommy and Daddy, then he will be standing, then walking...the next thing I know my friend will be calling me to tell me that Spencer is getting married.

He is a solid reminder. Tangible proof of God's unending Love. His Love is a "no matter what" kind of deal...and I think that is pretty cool. Not until you hold a baby do you understand that kind of love...I didn't get that until Anya walked into the room for the first time - that is when I looked into her precious eyes and thought to myself "no matter what".

I guess I will let my friend be a Mommy to sweet Spencer...stealing him under the cover of darkness is probably wrong :( - let me leave you with a photo of Spencer with his real Mommy:

the outcome of Perspective and an update

I thought I would update you on a few of the things mentioned in the Perspective post. So many of you have been praying...I want you to know that your prayers are working!

• My friend who found herself as the caregiver for her father. Well - a miracle has happened. Nursing homes that generally have a wait list of 10-12 months suddenly had an immediate opening. Her father had to qualify in several areas in order for her to be able to afford care like this - and he qualified in every category. PRAYERS ANSWERED!
• My friend with the teenage daughter with cancer. Yesterday, I was very worried about her. Her blood counts were not good...not good at all. I prayed over this all last night and today. For some reason, I was praying for her number to be 675 (which is funny, because I don't even understand anything about blood counts etc.). Well, today, her counts increased SEVERAL hundred, and were 675! Now, if they can get her fever down, and keep it down for 48 hours, she can go home! PRAYERS ANSWERED!
• My friend with the bum knee is back to her normal self...running and kind of jumping :) PRAYERS ANSWERED!
• My fashioney-friend who was having health issues has found the root of her problems. PRAYERS ANSWERED!

There are so many other prayers that have been answered recently. A friend who is adopting in Russia has a court date on September 10th. I am SO happy for her, and can't wait for the end of her journey.

We got some news about the adoption this week. Things are moving - not fast, but they are moving. The Judge has done enough wrong that is documented now that we have a strong case to be able to appeal and complain to the Russian Supreme Court. I don't know if we will have to do that - but am glad we have whatever we need to be able to do that.

We got a note today telling us that indeed, Anya has been moved to the new orphanage...the new place is in Shelechov (the same town). It was strongly suggested that we come for a visit to meet the new director.

The thing with Russian adoption is that there are basically 2 people who determine your fate. The director of the orphanage, and the prosecutor. Funny, huh? The director can make your life miserable, shop your child out to Russian families who are looking to foster a child (i.e. get government money)...or, the director can love you, and see that you and your child are a perfect family. Luckily - the later has been our experience. I don't know this new director, and it is freaking me out. If God knows that I need to go...then I am confident that He will make a way for me to go.

So that's all I know for now. I am trying to not be consumed by what is happening in Russia that I can not control or influence.

on perspective

The other day, I posted a note on perspective. So many people are dealing with really big things, stuff (that if I allow myself) to think about...I am all red nosed, and boo-ey.

After posting that, I can't tell you HOW MANY of you emailed me privately to tell me that you are praying for all of these issues. Many of you sent me notes with help, advice - someoe to talk to who has "been there".

Sometimes I think all of my friends know each other...but that is so far from the truth (so forgive me if we're ever all out somewhere, and I don't introduce you).

You all have such big hearts, such capacity to love, to pray - to feel the pain in others. I have been blessed beyond words to have you all in my life...to call you friends.

Thank you. Thank you for your kind words, and for praying for one another. If for no other reason - this blog works...because you are all now praying for each other...praying for nameless, faceless friends.

Big HUGE Hugs to all of you!

more news

After the last note that our documents were accepted by the court, I wanted to know what the next step is. This is a question that I seem to ask all the time, and rarely get an answer to. This morning - here is what I got:

Kathy, hi,
I called the judge's assistant yesterday asking for a response to the documents I sent last week. The assistant said that I should get a response this week. This is excellent news. We seem to be making progress.

I am realistic, and fully understand "Russian Time", so I am not holding my breath to hear anything before next week.

I am trying to not be too optimistic, trying to not read too much into anything...just praying, praying my heart out!

Perspective

Things happen. Sometimes things come into our lives and shake us to our very core. There is a song that says "we're just a phone call away from our knees"...how true.



The past few weeks, I've been slapped in the face with some reality. Yes - things are bad, frustrating with the adoption. Yes, my heart hurts every day to be with my little girl...but things could be worse.

• One of my friends passed a milestone. 7 years without her son. He died at age 5 from brain cancer. His funeral was one of the most beautiful and hardest things I've ever experienced. Perhaps harder, because we all (many friends and family) really REALLY believed that this child was going to be a miracle.


• Another friend has found herself as the caregiver for her father. He has dementia. He had been in prison for the past 8 years, therefore - was estranged from his family. Then one day, out of the blue - she gets a call from a hospital "are you XXX" "yes" "will you accept guardianship for you father". Her life changed in the span on one sentence.


• One of my oldest and dearest friends and I recently reconnected (gotta love Facebook!). His is a single Dad, raising a teenage girl. That in and of itself is a big thing...but there is more. His daughter is a medical miracle, she has stumped doctors all over the globe. No one can tell her the story of HER. There are no answers. To top it off - she is fighting her second round of cancer...which will likely take her out of the entire first semester of her Junior year of high school. To look in this child's eyes, is to see hope. I see a determined will...one that doesn't give up easily, and one that knows how to work her Dad :)! I love to see the relationship between a Dad and his little girl...I also see the heartbreak in the Dad's eyes for his precious gift from God. I want to squeeze this child, and tell her that her life matters. That God's plans for her are huge. I want to take her to get a manicure and a pedicure. But today, she is facing more chemo and the possibility of a transfusion. I've been on my knees for this family.


• I have so many friends who find themselves in a quiet home...for the first time in many years, all of their kids are in school. On the surface, this seems like every Mommy's dream come true - but the reality is that silence is deafening. I continue to see photos, blog posts and Facebook updates from Moms who are lost - who are needing to redefine themselves, who need to step out of one chapter of life into another...a new chapter with a little more time in the day. Redefining ourselves as women, and mothers can be hard.


• I have a friend whose daughter leaves for college this week. Her husband was diagnosed with cancer this summer, and it is possible that her other adult daughter has Augsburg's Disease. I am exhausted just thinking about the magnitude of the emotional toll just ONE of these things can take on a family. She needs a break.


• Yet another friend has Rheumatoid Arthritis. She also has 3 very active little girls. This week, her knee has decided to stop working...which means she can't walk - literally. Had nothing to do with the arthritis, but is just another painful thing to deal with. Imagine the frustration, the feeling of helplessness...I would be in a really bad mood, and someone would need to be feeding me cakes and candy!


• A client's father has fallen gravely ill in the past few weeks. This has caused the family to make major decisions, quickly. Watching your parents health go down hill is painful. I remember seeing my Grandpa (who was like my Dad) go from the strongest man I knew into a frail old man...it seemed to happen overnight. Changing roles in your family, with your parents is inevitable. It's not easy.


• One of my fashioney-friends is struggling for answers about her health. Stabbing debilitating pains - doctors saying that it is all in her head...and we know it's not, in fact it is in her abdomen! She has been ill for weeks, and no one knows what is going on. To know this industry (fashion), August is a very busy month...added stress is not helping her medical condition. I so with I lived closer to her. I so wish I could give her a break. I wish I knew a doctor that would find out what is wrong and fix it!

• A friend from high school has stage 4 cancer. I had no idea. Went to dinner with her and several other high school friends the other night, and I didn't even recognize her. I feel horrible for not talking to her, not catching up, not knowing. I thought it was strange that no one at the table was introducing her to me...they knew I knew her, but I didn't. She has 2 daughters (I think), I can't even begin to imagine what she is going through - the preparations her heart must be making...I need to pray that she will win this battle.

• This friend is one of those people I have great memories with. We've done so many things together from the time we were 10 years old...I can't even begin to tell you all the trouble we dodged together. We recently found out that she was pregnant. That in and of itself was a miracle. Then she learned she was having twins. I had tried to think about what that would be like for me...excitement turned to panic? Yesterday, she went to the doctor, and was going to find out the sex of the twins. Instead, she learned that one of the babies was gone. She is praising God for the health and gift of the other baby...but can you imagine? I just want to hug her and tell her that her precious other twin is in heaven. I want to tell her that it is OK to grieve. But, I am not her, I can't relate - I can't take any of her pain away. I can't answer any of the questions I am sure she has. I wish I could.

• I ran into someone I've known for several years. I was going on and on about my Mom's recent hand surgery...come to find out her mother has passed away. She had been her mother's caregiver for 8 years, her mother was nearly 90. She lived a full life. Death can be more about the ones left behind, can't it? My friend is in a state of grief - feeling like an orphan. I should have been more compassionate - I wish I would have known about her mother's passing.

• There is a young girl in India, she is 15. She tried to commit suicide because of a lifetime of beatings, abuse and intolerable conditions. She is brilliant. If she was in the United States, her existence would be so different. She would probably be preparing to attend Harvard or Yale. She is not in school in India. Her job is to watch goats. She needs to know that God has a plan for her life - and that plan is huge.

So yes, things could be worse. But my heart is heavy with the issues of my friends. I want to make it better, I want to do something to brighten their day - to allow them to forget the junk for just one minute. I want them to know that God is in control! He has a plan, and BELIEVE ME HIS plan is the perfect plan.

When you get frustrated with your life, with the state of things in your world. Remember these very real stories. Things could be worse.

without words

I posted this in Facebook - but am still reeling from what happened.

This morning I woke up, checked my email and noticed that I had a friend request from Facebook...from Jody Hall. Well, I know 2 "Jody Hall"s, so I went to Facebook thinking it was the one I know that lives locally. No...it was the one who owns the adoption agency who (lack of better word here) screwed us.

Yes, I still have a LOT of anger toward her. She has taken thousands and THOUSANDS of dollars from us. She did NO work for us (well, she mailed some documents to Russia). In 2006 when we went to Irkutsk to search out another means to bring Anya home, we needed some help and some paperwork taken care of in Moscow. She said that she would help - and didn't. I pressed her for how to get the paperwork taken care of, and her comment was "good luck with that". I called her after we got home from that trip, left a message that I had an idea about how to get Anya home, but would need her help...she NEVER called me back. NEVER!

I also asked her about being the middle man for us and some other families - I asked if she could contact another agency that was able to work in Russia to help us build a relationship with a new agency, and not start from square 1. She said "oh, I can't do that". WHAT?!

I know I need to calm down. I am so peeved right now, I can't see straight.

Maybe she has had a stroke of conscious - maybe she has seen the error of her ways, and wants to apologize and offer some kind of restitution. But, I doubt it.

big step forward

Well, not sure what to make of this.

Last week, we got a note from our coordinator in Irkutsk that said we need to take things to the next level. Basically, this means filing a complaint against the judge, and taking our case to the Supreme Court. At one time, the thought of having to do this would almost cripple me with fear...now, it seemed to empower me.

The problem was in the Judge accepting documents. She wasn't doing it...for us, or anyone else. In the past, all of our documents were being mailed (I posted about this a while ago). Now, the Judge was saying she wasn't going to accept things that are mailed -that we had to make an appointment specifically to deliver documents -thing is, she was taking any appointments. This is all clearly against Russian law - this gave us a firm solid grievance against her.

My plan was to call our Russian coordinator tonight, and talk through the game plan. Then I got an email that simply said:
I just wanted to tell you that I had made one more attempt to submit your documents to the court. The file is in the court now.

Maybe the Judge was notified if she didn't accept the documents, that we were taking things above her head - of course, she doesn't want to look foolish or incompetent to her superiors...maybe this is why she accepted our stuff. Whatever the reason - I don't care. We're not in this to make friends and keep the peace, we're in this to get Anya home.

We will call sometime this week to get more details. But for now - this is great news, and a BIG step forward. I believe that our prayers are bring heard, and God's hand continues to move in this situation.

I'll keep you updated with any more info!

oh ya...and

Did I mention that the school we wanted to send Anya to is closing!? STUPID ECONOMY! I am sure it will re-open once the economy comes back and all that economic stimulus money that Obama promised to Elkhart County comes in (wink).

I was introduced to another like-school in South Bend (but do I want to drove 40 minutes one way to school every day?).

smiles with unexpected blessings

I was working today, for those of you who don't know what I do for a living go HERE.

So, I was working. When I head out for the day, I am always looking at a 1/2 hour (or more) drive. One of the many joys of living in the boonies. As I drive I always listen to WFRN or PULSE FM (Christian stations). Many times as I am singing at the top of my lungs, I find myself deep in thought and prayer...and generally it is over Anya.

Such was the story today.

I don't know if I want to admit it, but I was praying for a sign. Something to let me know that HE is hearing me. I know how crazy that sounds, and how unfaithful that is...but that is where I was. To be honest, I prayed something like this "OK God, this is out of control. I need a little somethin' somethin" (just keeping it real here)

I went to my client's home, chose her wardrobe for the next 7 days (remember me saying if you don't know what I do...go HERE?). I got a call from my local Russian friend who also works in the fashion world. Kind of funny that she called me, I haven't seen or talked to her in MONTHS - I've been thinking about her a lot the past few weeks. Every time I hear her voice (or a thick Russian accent) I can't help but to get a little misty eyed.

Then I made some some courtesy calls with local boutiques and shops. Soon after I walked in one of my regular haunts, a woman came in that I recognized but couldn't place. I realized that she is the one who had the Silpada fundraiser for the adoption a few months back. She said that she saw me come into the store, and wanted to give me something. She handed me a check for $100 toward the adoption. I am not kidding.

I have been consigning things for a few months now. I have taken things from my closet and the closets of my clients. All of the money raised from the clothes will go toward the adoption. I was talking to the owner of the consignment store I do business with, and all the sudden she hands me a check for $375!

Do you ever feel like God sends you a Hallmark card just to tell you He is thinking about you, and to reassure you He is in control? Well, that is how I feel today.

the next step

I wasn't sure what to make of the next step in this adoption process. One minute we're told that the Judge told us to resubmit in July - and the next minute we're told that we have an option: submit in July, or wait until September. (ya, waiting WASN'T an option!)

One thing that I've learned (either through experience or maturity) is to not get upset over the things I can't control. So when our coordinator said he was going to resubmit our documents this month, and when I pressed for a specific date and didn't get one...I let it go. I've also learned that when I press for answers, sometimes I don't get the REAL answer :)

As typical - once a week, I sent the obligatory status update request email to our coordinator. Generally I don't get any reply - which is in keeping with all things Russian (if there is no news, there is no reply). This week, I got a reply. It said simply that a reply from the court can take up to 4 weeks., then a few hours later, we got another reply that we are currently waiting for a reply and expect to get a statement from the Judge any day.

Call me cautiously optimistic - but 'any day' has a different definition in Russia than it does here. So I would think we should know more by the end of the month.

puffy eyes and broken hearts

I have been going through all of the pictures we've taken of Anya over the years, and was feeling nostalgic. Because I am quite possibly one of the most creative people you will ever meet, I took some time to pull together some of these shots into a video montage.

Well, sorta....NOT!

Truth is, I was reading my friend, Kate's, blog tonight. She has a great video compilation of photos from her first meeting with her little girl. Tore my heart apart. Not sure if the ripping of my heart was from the song or knowing how hard it is to say goodbye after meeting your baby for the first time.

Feeling all weepy, I thought I would make myself sink into an even deeper pit - so I started looking through photos of Anya. Seeing how much she has grown through the years is truly amazing...it hurts my heart, it makes me gasp for air and blind from the tears.

So, I got myself together - ate some potato chips and decided to hunt down the song Kate used in her video. It was a good one. I found it...and so started round 2 of the water works.

Then as to be a TOTAL thief of ideas, I went to the website Kate used to create her video and found myself uploading, editing, creating. Here I am, almost 3 hours later all puffy eyed.

I'll be honest, sometimes I get tired of fighting, I find myself refocusing away from Anya. I've put off doing paperwork because I didn't have the strength. I dread sending ANOTHER email to ask for an update on things. I struggle composing a note to send to Anya, not sure what to say.

Tonight, this is what I needed. I needed to just sit at my computer and cry. So thanks, Kate for letting me (without my even asking) to steal your idea, hook - line - and sinker.

Make photo slide shows at www.OneTrueMedia.com

back on my knees

I think there is a plan. I don't know - but I think it's a plan.

We were given the option to resubmit our documents this month, or hold everything until September. Holding everything until September seemed crazy to us (I can't even say it - or type it - without making a crazy face)...so, our documents are being resubmitted to the court in Russia in the next few days.

The way things work - documents aren't delivered in person. For some reason, that never seems to work - so documents are mailed. Apparently when they are mailed, there is a signature - and that signature is proof of acceptance. Sounded like our stuff would be mailed soon...but 'soon' in Russia means a few weeks.

I'm back on my knees again over this. In some ways, it doesn't seem like anything has changed since February. In other ways, it seems like a ton of progress has been made in the past 5 months.

So for now...we pray.

milestones and dates on the calendar

For 4 years, 11 months, 2 weeks and 4 days I have marked dates in my planner that meant something. Many times, these marked dates weren't in ink, or marker or even pencil. Most of the time the dates where in my head...but important nonetheless.

The dates aren't the ones you might imagine. Mother's Day doesn't phase me. Holidays like Easter, Christmas, Anya's Birthday don't really bother me either. I've never purchased a gift for Anya for Christmas, and left it unwrapped under the tree (which would have been stupid, considering she would have been 2 when we started this practice, and now is 7...what in the world would I have done with all those gifts?).

The dates that bother me are my birthday, the Children's Christmas presentation at church, the baptism celebration at church and Scoop.

And now I know you are asking "what in the heck is Scoop". Scoop is the start of each new fashion season. In a nutshell, I travel to some destination with 2,000 other fashion people for what we call Fashion Week. We learn about new trends, see runway fashion shows, have random training seminars, go to big dinners. bla bla bla. Well, what happens at Scoop (aside from the self imposed stress of what to wear), is that you go into a meeting with a bunch of people you don't know. You start talking to the people around you and always ask "where are you from" "How long have you been working in this line of work" and of course "do you have kids". That always launches into my canned adoption speech.

Many of these ladies I've met I see twice a year, and have been seeing them for YEARS. Now when I see them, they want to know if I brought Anya with me.

I remember 5 years ago going to the baptism celebration. Marty and I sat at the edge of the lake, watching the dedication of babies. We saw kids who had made a decision to give their lives to Christ be baptised. Knowing what it will take to teach Anya about the Love of Christ, and considering that one day - she may be walking into the water is pretty overwhelming.

The Christmas children's program church always bother me because as the children sing on stage, I can almost find myself searching for Anya among all the little faces. I know she isn't there...but for some strange reason I still look.

And my birthday...wow, sounds kind of selfish doesn't it?

I think the birthday thing bothers me for a few reasons. Some of my favorite memories as a child was planning my Mom's birthday. It was a big deal to me. I always wanted to get the perfect gift (which was usually some ugly nightgown or horrible handbag). Wrapping it was always a big deal too...it had to be perfect. On my Mom's 50th, I organized a surprise party for her, to this day she claims that she is finding little confetti pieces in the shape of "50's"...and let's just say that was more than a few years ago (haha!). I think we all want to recreate things for our kids that are the good memories of our childhood.

I think that annual planning exercise taught me how important it is to make a big deal for other people...to do something for someone else, just because.

That feeling of giving joy to someone else led to me hosting my own birthday parties. Every year marks another year that I am a woman without children. At my age, most women have a family, they have children...very few don't. So rather than to pity another year gone by, I've had my friends over to my house for a midsummer cookout. The cookout was a clever way to have a birthday celebration without anyone feeling like they had to bring a gift.

This year - tomorrow actually - I turn 40. One of my blog friends (Kate) and I have had conversations about how it is important to us to have our girls before we turn 40. We don't know why, but it is important. This birthday, I won't have my baby girl. I don't know where she is (camp I assume) and it sucks.

I'm not posting this as some kind of plea for you all to leave poor Kathy comments - please don't do that.

I know many of you are my every day friends, and are sick of hearing me talk about turning 40. Well - now you know why I've been consumed by that number. I don't care much about being older (I have a great relationship with a very good dermatologist...if it bothers me enough, I can fix it), I care what being older represents.

Twiddling thumbs

Seems like I would have something adoption related to post today - but I don't.


Been working on our yard. It's funny - the things you wish for when you are growing up. Then as you pray for them, God graciously grants you the prayers of your heart...then as an adult you wonder WHY did you pray for those things?


Case in point - big house. I grew up in a big house, therefore I mistakenly thought everyone should have a big house. I had this idea in my head that I wanted a house that looked like 'X' and was decorated like 'Y'. Well, God is good! Now I have too many square feet of floor to keep clean, and a serious dust problem. Not complaining...just stating the facts.


I also prayed for flowerbeds. I have always loved planting things. In my former life, I was married to someone who didn't like flowers, so he didn't let me plant many. Current perfect husband lets me do whatever I want, and we live on 3 acres. 5-6 years ago I started panting things, harvesting hosta, swapping ground cover for day lilies with friends. Well, now I have an overgrown mess! Can't figure out what I should dig up (and I can't bring myself to pitch anything that is living - will need to find a new home for anything I remove), what should be cut back - kinda looks like a jungle around here. Every day I go outside and think to myself that I am going to have some kind of vision as to what needs to be done - and frankly, every day all I see is a bunch of stuff I don't know what to do with.


I believe to the core of my being that my life is a perfect example of being careful for what you pray for. Not in a bad way...just in a realistic way.




In the heat of everything I prayed so desperately for, I couldn't see how it all would end. In the heat, it seemed - well, hot. I just wanted it all to stop, to be over and done with. Heat tends to make you uncomfortable, stretch you, make you see things in a way you wouldn't normally.


But - in the heat is where God is working. I know that. I believe that. I've experienced that. I have stories how it works out on the other side.


Marty and I could have been married 10 years ago. That wasn't God's plan. Through a lot of pain, junk, stuff and garbage - we came out of it...wonderfully happily married. I wish we didn't have to go through the junk - but I am glad we did. It has made us a strong, unbreakable couple. It made us US. So, we've been married for 5 1/2 years.


We could have adopted a child 5 years ago. But that wasn't God's plan. Knowing that God's plan is always perfect...I'm willing to wait. I will wait, and pray, and be thankful for this time, because God is using this heated time to do something only He could do. And I think that is pretty cool.

been processing

It's been an odd couple of days. Have been waiting to hear from our coordinator in Russia for what seemed like weeks. Truth be told, it was only about a week. Come to find out he was buried in translating our documents so that he could present them to the court before the 6-22 deadline. I think this is the first time EVER that anything has been done before a deadline!

So - our documents were presented on Friday. These were the updates that the Judge in Russia requested at the beginning of the month. On Saturday I get an email from our coordinator that said:

I got the documents in advance, thank you - all was good at this point. I was able to submit the papers to the court on Friday. Later in the day I spoke to the judge's assistant and she said that the judge would not accept any papers in June. She was returning almost all files, as the court is overwhelmed with lots of submitted cases.

The court has appointed two more judges to hear the adoptions, so my plan is to resubmit your file with existing documents to the court in July. I hope that the new judge will take it without major requests.

I felt like I had been punched in the gut. This doesn't say that our documents are being returned...but it didn't say that they weren't.

I have to remember there is some big reason this is happening. I am sure there is something God is protecting us from or something that is part of His plan we can't see

But I can't help but to wonder why.

Anya's 7th birthday was Sunday. When I got home from Russia in January - the outside date that we would be with Anya again was her birthday. Well, that date came and went - and in some ways, I don't feel that we're any farther ahead (for all the submissions and resubmissions).

what's going on?

Guess I should post something.

Got the paperwork done, and it is on the way back to Russia. Last time I checked DHL, our stuff was in Germany. Funny thing about this round of changes - I wasn't 100% clear on what the Judge wanted, so what I sent can be called "my best guess".

I am concerned, ok - well, worried...maybe not so much worried as mad - that our coordinator will be on vacation for 2 weeks...starting before our documents are due back to the court. Apparently they will be delivered by one of his assistants. I just wonder how on top of things the assistant will be - will he check on the status of things, or sit back and wait to get a call with an update.

I think the coordinator guy is vacationing here in the U.S. Maybe I should find him here and meet with him.

Will keep you all updated.

Oh ya - talked to Anya last Sunday night on the phone. Will post details on that later. Been so consumed with everything else, haven't had a chance to really sit and think about that call.

Fund Raiser update

ADOPTION FUNDRASIERS...update

Thanks to all of you who came out and supported our Fashion Show Fundraiser last week.
It was a huge success, and we far exceeded our goals and expectations. If you missed it - then you missed lots of clothes, lots of great food, Marty in women's clothing, me crying...and over 60 of you that supported us, it was quite a night!

Several have asked when the next fundraiser will be...and it is THIS WEEK!

Join me on:
Thursday, June 11th
7pm - 9pm

Serendipity Consignment Boutique
7106 Grape Road
Granger, IN 46530

This will be a Silpada fund raiser, with some silent auction items thrown in for fun.

Clean out your closet, and bring some things to be consigned as a donation!

This is also a great opportunity to check out my favorite consignment shop!

Can't make the event, but want to buy a piece of Silpada jewelry for the fundraiser? Contact Michelle at 574-271-1200.

Stop by, if for no other reason than to check out this new consignment shop. It is amazing! If you like designer clothing, handbags (like Coach, Kate Spade, LV etc...) you will LOVE this shop! They also have amazing consigned home decor things...what a great way to give your house a face lift!

after I took a breath

Well, it's been about a week since we got the new statement from the Judge. I've had time to think about it - to read it and re-read it, and honestly, it isn't as bad as I initially thought. There are only 9 things on the statement - and most of them are questions about our laws that are easy to answer.

We will do the best we can to get everything done and back to Russia...the deadline is the 17th - which means I have to mail everything by the 12th - I have a week.

Something just occurred to me. Our documents are due on the 22nd. That is the day after Anya's Birthday. Anya's 7th Birthday...which is also Father's Day.

Found out that our coordinator is going on vacation for 2 weeks - at the end of the Month. He said that he will have someone working for him while he is gone - someone checking with the court on a new statement. I need to talk to him AGAIN about that. For some reason, I still don't feel "ok" about it.

Wondering what the kick in the pants is? Our placing agency - the one with the accreditation to work in Russia...had their accreditation (license) suspended for 3 months today by the Russia government. Why? Who knows. The good news is that our homestudy agency (who was black listed) is now in good standing with the MOE in Russia...

It's always something.

common threads

Through the past 5 years, a lot has happened in my life...things other than the adoption. Although it seems like that is ALL I ever talk about, and that I am consumed by it - believe me when I say there were periods of time when I PURPOSELY didn't talk about the adoption. There was even a time when I deliberately focused on my career and building my business...and NOT the adoption.

Was that the right thing to do? I don't know. But I think my ability to over commit, to get involved, my inability to say 'no' has sustained my sanity. Simply put, many many times over the past few years, I simply didn't have time to think about what I was missing with Anya.

Another thing I have been able to do in the past few years, is make different friends. There are a lot of people who are in my life today, who weren't 5 years ago. There are friends who have come and gone...and that's OK.

I have also found commonalities with several women through a shared way of being 'out there'. Maybe being out there is because of a husband's job, because of some kind of local fame, maybe because of some online success...others have been 'out there' because of a job, a career, a position in the community...even have a friend who is an author.

When a person makes the decision to be "out there" they silently agree to have everything about them scrutinized by people who don't know them. I don't think that is fair. Women can be mean...and it makes me sad.

Funny thing is, I thought this was just a phenomenon with my little circle of friends. Then I was reading a blog tonight, and it said this:

I'm not going to dignify this with further details, but I will say that apparently there are also people who are wounded enough in this life that they feel the need to try and tarnish the name of someone who has a ministry. Why? Because they don't want someone else to get attention? Because they are jealous? Because they are lonely? I don't know why. But it makes me sad, because that could have been a place where something beautiful grew instead...an offering the Lord would readily receive, but no. The ego and emotions win out again. I just hate that.

I don't want to be here, where Godly women prey on each other instead of seeking to build them up. It breaks my heart to watch firsthand the way that can undo someone who needed to be reminded that the Lord is good, and He is with us. They need a cheerleader, a reason to hope, a glimpse of love. And the stranger heaps coals and sits idly by while that little string she pulled begins to unravel. It is one of satan's favorite ways of distracting us; convincing us that if we bring someone down, we will be higher. It's as anti-Gospel as it gets, and it seems rampant these days.

More commonalities. Because I this kind of 'theme' seems to be coming up again, and again, and again - I had to blog about it. I'm talking about it to beg you - think before you speak. Search your motives when it comes to other women. And if you are on the receiving end of some of this meanness and evil...CHOOSE TO TAKE THE HIGH ROAD. Choose to pray rather than react. Believe me, it is HARD, but at the end of the day - the one with the hard tongue needs more than a stern talking to - there is so much going on with her, she NEEDS prayer.

...ok, off my soapbox now

news :(

I don't even know how to post this. We got the legal statement today, and spoke with our coordinator - it seems like the new Judge is using our case as an education. She doesn't know anything about adoptions, therefore is asking a lot of questions about things that are a duh.

Her statement was 8 pages long.

Why is it my job to act as the University level education on adoptions for this Judge?

Most of the things are things we've provided in the past.

She still doesn't understand about the deed / land thing and our home ownership. I don't know how to get her to understand this. Apparently in other countries (as in every other country) there is a purchase agreement for a home - that turns into a certificate of ownership. We don't have that here...and she doesn't get it.

And the changes need to be back in Russia by June 16th.

Which means we have to get them done and in the mail before the 11th or 12th. That means I have 8 days to figure it all out (weekends don't count). It all hurts my stomach.

Oh ya, and our coordinator is going on a 2 week vacation starting on the 21st. The deadline for our changes to go back to the court is the 22nd...our coordinator will translate for us and have one of his representatives deliver our things back to the court. This makes me nervous. Who will be around to check on a statement in that 2 weeks? If a statement is released, but no one picks it up = basically, we lose time. We've lost a week in the process this go-around because of translation...this most recent statement was given on May 22.

And our coordinator suggested we send a personal letter to the Judge. A plea of sorts.

I am rambling. I have a headache. My stomach is starting to hurt. I want to stop whining about this. I am going to bed.

the non-news news

Well, I fully hoped that I would have some kind of grand update to post tonight. But I don't. Today has been a series of "are you kidding me" events.

We got a note from our coordinator, that simply said:

I just got another legal statement ( at least the documents are not rejected), I will put it all in writing for you. Then I think we can talk on the phone to discuss these issues

My first thought was why did he say "at least the documents are not rejected" - was that a concern? What the heck? But then I tried to focus on "discuss the issues", maybe that means there aren't many things to "do". This paperwork redo thing is UNBELIEVABLE!

So - from that email, I had a plan. I was going to call the orphanage and talk to the Director to see if she had heard anything from the Adoption Center. Generally, when the child's documents are called for, that call goes to the Adoption Center, and they work together with the director at the orphanage. Typically, this is the 2-month point to a court date. My plan was a good one...

I lined up our interpreter to make the call for us.

First attempt - the line was busy.

Second attempt - she got a message that said there were troubles on the line.

WHAT?!

Thank goodness for Facebook! As I am posting all my frustrations with calling Russia, I get a message from Tami - our friend who lives in Irkutsk. Found out the phones there have been out for 2 days, and that the land-lines typically go out when it rains. NICE!

Step 2 in my grand plan was to call our coordinator. So, we did. He wasn't ready for our call, and I think we surprised him. He asked that we call back in 12 hours - this will give him time to translate the statement from the Judge and email it to me.

...so the news is that there is still no news.

for now, I will pout

I am going to go with the opening comments of the blog of one of my pals...

I can't decide if I want to

• burst into tears
• go to bed
• laugh hysterically or
• scream

I know I am refocusing, and trying to concentrate on the good...but today it is hard.

I don't understand why it's been a week shy of 2 months since we have heard anything.

Today I just want to feel sorry for myself and pout. I promise I'll snap out of it...but for now, please let me pout.

refocusing

I have been refocusing lately. Not as a matter of some kind of grand self-improvement plan, but as a matter of survival.

I have found that I tend to dwell on things I can't control, rather than to bask in the glory of missed blessings and focus on the things I can control.

Why is it that we (as women) focus on the one person who might not like us, at the risk of missing the love and respect that we get from the dozens of people who love us? I have to think men do this too...to some degree.

I have a friend who is one I turn to when I need to be talked off the ledge. I believe God put her in my life for a very specific purpose, and that is to unemotionally tell me like it is. Her little pearls of wisdom bring me back to center...she has said things to me like, "Don’t criticize or condemn anyone – just forgive and move on" and "You can’t control any part of this except your own action and reaction". All good stuff, all things I needed to hear at the exact time she said them to me.

I can't control the fact that we haven't heard from the Judge in 6 weeks. But I can control the amount of time I dwell on the fact I've been sitting here for 6 weeks thinking and grousing about it. Fact is, all of this that I've internalized is making me sick.

So it's time to refocus.

Rather than to dwell on the fact it's been 6 weeks since we've heard anything...I am focusing on the fact we DID hear something! The Judge DID accept our documents, and they ARE active in the Irkutsk court system.

Rather than to focus on those who are sucking the life out of me, I am going to focus on those who give me life. I have some very good friends, some pals I've known forever...those girls love me; they KNOW me (I mean, they REALLY know me...they have secrets and stories...); I also have friends who challenge me to look up rather than around for answers - they know me, they 'get' me.

Rather than to focus on my nasty dirty house, I am going to be glad that I HAVE a house that is messy.

Rather than to focus on what money we don't have for the adoption, I am focusing on the money we DO have.

It's a choice...I might have to cry it out to get over it, but it's OK.

and then...

Marty had a dream last night that I was pregnant.


That's all I am going to say about that.

the funny thing about Russian culture

Maybe it's just my experience in Russia - but generally, nothing gets done unless you specifically ask for it. For example, in the United States, you would assume that if someone was traveling here to see someone - and you were facilitating that...you would assume that they would want to see that person as much as they could during their stay. This isn't the case in Russia.

Case-in-point
When we were in Russia a year ago, we got the Irkutsk and settled into the apartment. Typically, you do that - and then late morning you will get a call from your facilitator telling you what time a car will come to get you to take you to the orphanage to see your child. So, we waited, and waited, and waited. After lunch, we called our coordinator and asked about the driver and so on and was told, "oh, I did not know you wanted to visit today, no drivers or interpreters are available at such short notice"

[insert huge disappointment here]

So I have learned that when traveling to Russia, I am very careful to be sure to mention that I want to see Anya on the day of our arrival.

I learned yesterday that our documents seem to fall in the same category as the 'arrival day' assumptions. For 40 days, I've been sitting wondering what is going on with our documents. Every 4-5 days, I send a note to our coordinator asking if there is any news, and ALWAYS hear the same thing "nothing yet".

A few days ago, I sent a note to our coordinator that was a little more stern, with a tone of serious concern, and I said "what can be done to speed things up?". The reply I got said, "Would you like me to submit a letter to the court requesting an written statement as soon as possible"...um YA that would be nice! Especially given that we were due a statement 35 stinking days ago!

Unbelievable...and so typical Russia!

What for Mother's Day?

Why a necklace of course! I am having trouble updating the website with new locations and new fundraising totals, but will figure it out eventually...

I think (and I may be a little bias) that this necklace is the perfect Mother's Day gift! It is a story about a mother...it helps to build a family - and it's fashionable to boot!

Get yours today! http://bring-anya-home.com/necklace.html

1-month and counting

Well, our documents have been waiting for a statement from the Judge for one month...30 days...with NOTHING.

The last word I got from our coordinator (on Sunday) was:

well, the judge should have responded within a few days after the deadline. I spoke to the judge's assistant yesterday and she says that she had no information yet.

So, what do we do? The only choice is to wait - apparently there is no 'law' that says how long a Judge has to reply, unless it is written in the legal statement...or something like that.

UNBELIEVABLE!

I have to ask why? Why waiting AGAIN!? Why when things start moving, do they stall (for what seems like eternity) with us? Do we not have enough Faith? Enough Hope? Have we not prayed enough over this situation? If we don't get Anya out of there (or have a court date) by her 7th birthday, she will be transferred to another orphanage with older kids...without going into details, BAD things happen in those orphanages. She turns 7 the end of June.

Seriously, WHY?!?!?!

still no news

Still nothing.

Earlier this week, I sent a note asking the following:

Just out of curiosity, why is there another new Judge?

I thought the judge had 5 days to respond to our documents. We are past the 14 day mark. With the new judge, do we have to start over – or will the new judge recognize the statements provided by the original judge? I am concerned that our case has been in front of 3 Judges now – and that we have not yet received a new legal statement. From here, what can we expect?

Do you know if the Judge has called for Anya’s documents to be prepared yet? When that happens, I really want to know – from all others account of their experiences, it seems that the court date is generally 2 months from that point…that is good information for us to have from a planning stand point.

Here is the reply I got:

Kathy, hi,

well, we all thought that it would be a man but all of a sudden, a female judge was appointed

So...as you can see, even when you ask specific pointed questions, it is hard to get answers. Yes, we can call, however there is a 13-14 hour time difference between here and there - which makes planning a call a little tricky. If we don't hear anything by the end of the week - we're going to call.

Seriously, can't ONE STINKING THING be easy or as expected?

Seriously, can't ONE STINKING THING be easy or as expected?

Heck no!

2 weeks ago, as you know, we submitted the documents that were requested by Judge #1 (Stepanova). She initially reviewed our case and accepted it in March - this review was done with her replacement, Judge #2 - a man. All we know about this guy is that he is younger, a father, friendly and more pro-international adoption than other Judge's have been. We also learned that this new man judge takes his own sweet time in responding to things.

After we meet the judge's deadline - the Judge then has 14 days to respond. The 14 days was up yesterday...or maybe the end of the week if weekends don't count toward that 14 days (who knows!?). I know that our documents were delivered back to Judge #2 - the guy.

Since that time, there has been some talk about another Judge (Judge #3). So, I asked about the name of the Judge, and was told this Judge is Popova AA (no one knows what the "A" and "A" stand for), but in fact, this is a woman.

Why am I concerned?

Because this is the 3rd Judge our case has been in front of in 30-45 days. Each has a different opinion, take and set of unwritten rules and requirements...apparently we are being asked to meet the requirements and expectations of all 3 stinking judges.

I am not thrilled.

But, that is all my conjecture. I don't know WHO has our case. Judge #1, #2 the guy or this new #3. I've asked, but don't have answers yet.

So - I reiterate. Seriously, can't ONE STINKING THING be easy or as expected?

no news is...well, no news

I keep emailing our "guy" in Irkutsk to ask for an update. I think technically, the Judge has 14 days to respond to our updates...which would be this coming Monday or Tuesday.

Got a note today that said, "what we know so far is that the new judge is friendlier and less biased against international adoptions. I have not received yet the legal statement. For other cases, including the European cases the judge takes more time to issue a legal statement or decisions of acceptance. . "

So...nothing.

thanks

Blogs are funny things. I took this blog private about 6 weeks ago. I sent out invitations to those who asked for one...didn't assume anyone would want to read my ramblings about the adoption.

I quickly found out that a lot of people who I thought would be on the 'inside track' aren't -and that is OK! not complaining at all... Not everyone thinks the adoption is a good idea, and not everyone cares, and not everyone is on our side of this...AND THAT IS OK!

But, please, be honest...

The other day I was talking with one such friend, and she out and out lied to me. She said "I just went to your blog to get an update, so what's going on with things"...obviously she hadn't gone to the blog - she isn't a reader, fan or one that got an invitation. When I menionted that this summer looked to be THE TIME, she did everything in her power to not change the expression on her face, and she tried to act like she was well aware of that piece of info.

She didn't know.

And, that's OK!

Marty and I have been through a lot of things in our lives, some seriously crazy stuff. One thing that remains a common thread is that when stuff happens in your life that changes the trajectory of things...your real true friends bubble up to the top.

Thanks for being that group of real true friends...who have bubbled up to the top. Our pals from every phase of life, and some that I've never met...thank you for coming to me with money making ideas, and for sending me emails about how you're praying for us (even tho you have things in your OWN life that deserve your uninterrupted prayer!).

I love you all...am blessed and humbled.

That's all!

Guess it's time for an update

I guess I should post an update...it's been a while.

Long story short...we're waiting again. Waiting for the Judge's statement.

We got the Russian certification of our apostilles from the Russian Consulate. Impressive! I think this should be step #1 in the process...so pre adoptive parents can see what a "notary" looks like in Russia. Seeing this explains why ours looks unofficial and fake.

It is bound by a ribbon, and there are grommets that go through each page of the document that is being certified. There is also a stamp that is on both the certification statement and the actual document (so you can't 'fake' that).

I hate this waiting...but it is the story of our lives. I am a little concerned that with this recent wait, it will put off a court date until July - which means we would need to be in Irkutsk in August. August is a vacation month for most Russian people, and I know that the Judge always takes a vacation in August...with any vacation comes crazy shutdowns and waits...I am not so excited about footing the bill for any unnecessary weeks in Russia. But, it is what it is!


I am conflicted about June. From a business perspective, June is a month when I am fairly busy at the first of the month. My dilemma is...do I book things like I normally do? I was holding off booking anything the end of May, but I threw out that idea this week, and booked some events for late May. At this point, there is no way we're going to get a court date that would require us to leave in 6 weeks...and we need money, so I need to work. Ahhh yes, the double edge sword all PAPs face! Put your life of hold, or continue with life as (sorta) usual.

Supposed to be hearing something - anything

Hi friends,

Just wanted to share that we should be hearing something in the next 24 hours. From what I understand, our documents went to the Judge today - and our coordinator was going to ask for a court date.

Of course, I'm not new, so I know that 24 hours in Russian time means 72ish...so I'm not holding my breath.

As with everything, we're praying our way through this.

Easter in Russia

I was thinking the other day, I've been in RUssia for Mother's Day, Easter, New Years, Labor Day and Halloween. THe exact years I was there are a little sketchy, but I think:

2004 - Halloween (I don't think we were there for Halloween day, seems like we got home jsut before Halloween..but we were there for Halloween, that's my story and I'm stickin to it)

2005 - Easter

2006 - Mother's Day

2007 - Labor Day

2008 - New Years

One of my best times of the year in Russia is the Spring time. THe winters there are so cold and long (ha! Kind of like here in the mid-west!), once springtime comes, it is a welcome sight!

Just like here, Easter serves as the kick off to Spring. Some of the Easter traditins in Russia are pretty neat.

I was reading my friend's blog tonight, and she posted this great article on the RUssian Easter traditions:

Easter (Pascha) in Russia

by Don Fairbairn

Of course, Christians all over the globe join together on Easter Sunday to celebrate the resurrection of Christ, and one could probably go to an Easter service anywhere and recognize (to some degree) what was taking place. But there are also many differences in the way Easter is celebrated in different parts of the world. In particular, there are differences in the way Western Christians (Protestants and Roman Catholics) celebrate Easter and the way Eastern Orthodox Christians (members of the churches which descended from the Greek-speaking wing of the early Church) celebrate it. Perhaps it will be interesting to us in the West to learn about some of the customs related to the celebration of Easter in the East (and especially in Russia).


The most obvious difference is that Easter is normally celebrated on a different Sunday in the East and the West. Ever since the Council of Nicaea (A.D. 325), Christians have celebrated the resurrection of Christ on the first Sunday after the first full moon after the vernal equinox (March 21). For most of Christian history, the church used the old Julian calendar (invented in the time of Julius Caesar in the first century B.C.) to determine when the vernal equinox would be. But in the sixteenth century it became clear that the Julian calendar was lagging behind astronomical time, and a new calendar (the Gregorian) was proposed. The Western Church accepted this new calendar, but the Eastern Church rejected it. At present, the Julian calendar is 13 days behind the Gregorian calendar, and is gradually losing more and more time. That means that whereas we calculate the date of Easter from March 21 by our Gregorian calendar, the Eastern Church calculates it from March 21 by their older calendar, which equals April 3 by our calendar.

The Eastern Church also insists that Easter must follow the Jewish celebration of Passover in any given year, and that celebration is based on yet a third calendar. Depending on when the full moon occurs and when Passover takes place, Eastern Easter can fall on the same Sunday as Western Easter, or it can follow it by one week, four weeks, or five weeks. Normally Eastern Easter is one week later, and this year is no exception.

A second big difference has to do with the hour of the day when Easter is celebrated. Of course, we are familiar with Easter sunrise services. But in the East (especially in Russia), Easter services last all through Saturday night. The congregation gathers in the church or cathedral on Saturday evening and takes part in an Easter vigil commemorating the buried Christ. Orthodox church buildings have an inner sanctuary blocked off from the sight of the worshipers, and at this point the door to that sanctuary is closed, signifying that the way to God is closed. But at the stroke of midnight, the priest throws the doors open and emerges, shouting, "Christ is risen! Christ is risen! Christ is risen!" After hours of silent anticipation, the congregation comes to life and shouts back, "He is risen indeed!" This custom powerfully demonstrates the way Christ’s resurrection has opened up for us the way to God.


One of my favorite Russian Easter customs has to do with dyeing Easter eggs. In Russia, children always dye the eggs red, never using other colors. The red dye, of course, symbolizes the blood of Christ. Furthermore, people crack the eggs open using nails, in order to remind themselves again of the death of Christ. As the eggs are cracked and the whites are exposed, people remember that the blood of Christ cleanses us from sin. Although our sins were as scarlet, we have been made as white as snow.

A mainstay of our Easter celebrations is the family Easter dinner following our worship services. In Russia, the corresponding dinner is actually a picnic, in which the entire congregation celebrates together. People bring food to the church on Saturday evening and ask the priests to bless it. Then after the long Easter vigil through the night and the celebration of the Lord’s Supper on Easter morning, people eat together on the lawn outside the church building. They believe that such an important celebration cannot be merely a private or family affair, and the worshipers are reminded by this communal picnic that all members of the body of Christ belong to one another.


Perhaps these tidbits about the celebration of Easter in Russia will not simply be interesting to us in America. Instead, they may also give us some ideas which we can incorporate into our own Easter celebrations, ideas which may help to re-focus our attention on the great truth which we all celebrate this Sunday: Christ is risen!

Fundraising necklace gets national play on website

Most of you know that I occasionally write for a national online magazine called "Blissfully Domestic". The editor of the fashion section did a story this week on the BRING ANYA HOME necklace.

Here is the story:

A Stylish Necklace to Help Out a Stylish Friend
By Jenny Rapson on April 6, 2009

One of the very vital team members here at Blissful Style and Blissfully Domestic is contributor and fashion expert Kathy Friend. Kathy has written some of my all-time favorite Blissful Style articles like this one on how clothes should fit. Girlfriend is a professional wardbrobe consultant and she knows what she's talking about!

Something you may not know about Kathy is that for five long years, she and her husband Marty have been trying to adopt Anya, a lovely little girl who lives in an orphanage in Irkutsk, Russia. (Please read their whole story here!) Now, after five years of tears, five trips to Russia and tens of thousands of dollars, Marty and Kathy, who have never given up on the little girl they love, see an end in sight - there is a very real possibilty that Anya could officially be their daughter by her 7th birthday in June 2009.

Read the rest of the story HERE

dreams

I know I've posted stuff on this blog before about the crazy dreams I've had over the past 5 years. Anyone who has been in the heat of an adoption can probably relate. I don't know if it is the constant prayer that brings on these dreams, or raging mommy hormones...who knows.

Well, the past 2 weeks, I've have 2 very vivid dreams. Here is a recap:

This last one I just had this past week. In this dream, we were able to raise so much money through the fundraising effort that we put it into a trust, and then any family that came after us was able to have their housing (apartment) totally paid for through this trust. Ask Debbie and Judy what kind of savings that is! Since most of you have no idea, it's about $170 a day...do the math. If you have to stay in Russia for 8 weeks, times $170 a day - that is about $9,500!

The last time I was in Russia, I was there for a week; I paid roughly $3,500 for just transportation to and from the orphanage and the apartment I stayed in! If we can help offset some of this outrageous cost, it would be a HUGE load off the minds of those of us who are in the heat of it!

I am hoping that my dream is prophetic! Just call me Kathy with the Amazing Technicolor Dream Coat – err, maybe Amazing Technicolor Dream shoes :)

Anyway - that was dream 1.

The other dream I had I KNOW was a God dream. Haven’t had many of these in my life, but if you have ever had one- you know it is…these dreams are different. Let's get to getting people to buy these Bring Anya Home necklaces!!!

Dream 2

So, I had this dream the night before all our documents were going to be mailed to Russia (about 2 weeks ago). I was sitting at my desk (as I always am), going through documents, trying to guess and second guess and think and rethink every detail. IN this dream, this voice (God) whispers to me “it is done, it is done, it is done”.

I respond to this voice, and say, “I know, but I just want to check one more thing, and make sure it’s done right”

The voice comes back and says…a bit louder “It Is Done, It Is Done, It Is Done”

The voice enunciated exceptionally well…I don’t know why, but that was significant in the dream.

Anyway, I replied to the voice again, and said, “Yes, I know, but I just need to check things one last time”

The voice came back again, this time in a LOUD, earth moving booming voice saying, “IT IS DONE!!”

…then I woke up.

Have you ever had dreams like this?

Fund Raising Website is up and running!

Took some time today to build a website to keep track of our fund raising efforts. You will also be able to order the 'Bring Anya Home" necklace on this site too!

http://www.bring-anya-home.com

Check it out!!

let the fund raisers begin!

This weekend officially kicks off our fundraising efforts to Bring Anya Home.

My friend and jewelry designer (Ali Oesch - you should always wear her stuff!) has made this one-of-a-kind necklace for us to sell. Isn't it beautiful?! To understand this necklace, you need to know me fairly well. From reading this blog - you may have a pretty good idea who I am and what I am all about. Things I've said about this journey always include the words strength and truth.

The 3 stones represent me, Marty and Anya.


The Pearl is important, not only because I wear pearls every day of my life (in one form or another), but because it is the stone of Truth.

The little silver bead represents the strength of platinum, and our strong resolve, and strong faith to bring Anya home.

And of course, the clear teardrop in the center, representing the many tears we've shed over making Anya wait to come home...the big tear also represents tears of Joy for the end of this story.

All of this I came up with, so if you have a better story to put with the beads, I'd love to hear it!

Ali will make as many as 100 of these for us to sell. Can you believe that?! We will retail them for $38 - and make them available anywhere that will offer to sell them for us!

I know you are dying for one, aren't you? Well, I will have the very first of this limited edition 'Bring Anya Home' necklace with me this weekend at Camellia The Makeup Store in Heritage Square in Granger. There will be some other great things there this weekend too that we'll be selling to raise funds.