Today, I got to the orphanage an hour late. Andre, my driver, wasn’t able to pick me up until 9:30. When I finally got to the orphanage, Anya was in a class. The caregivers that were with her group weren’t the most helpful bunch (new ones, I don’t know them) – but we found her.
It seems every trip, there is one day that Anya is very clingy, very quiet, very close. This morning was that day. It took her an hour and 45 minutes to say a word. The whole time, she sat on my lap, curled up in a little ball – almost asleep.
Julia (interpreter) was trying to help me figure out what was wrong. She felt a little warm, so maybe she didn’t feel well. A few times, she opened her eyes, and looked at me with such a sad look in her eyes. Borderline tears.
I tried to put her down, let her lay on the sofa…she was like a rag doll, wouldn’t stand on her own, hold her arm up – nothing. She just wanted me to hold her. I really think she wasn’t feeling well.
I wonder what goes on in that pretty little head. What she must think about all of this, what does she wonder about. What does she understand, more importantly – what doesn’t she understand, and what has she filled in the gaps with.
It seems every trip, there is one day that Anya is very clingy, very quiet, very close. This morning was that day. It took her an hour and 45 minutes to say a word. The whole time, she sat on my lap, curled up in a little ball – almost asleep.
Julia (interpreter) was trying to help me figure out what was wrong. She felt a little warm, so maybe she didn’t feel well. A few times, she opened her eyes, and looked at me with such a sad look in her eyes. Borderline tears.
I tried to put her down, let her lay on the sofa…she was like a rag doll, wouldn’t stand on her own, hold her arm up – nothing. She just wanted me to hold her. I really think she wasn’t feeling well.
I wonder what goes on in that pretty little head. What she must think about all of this, what does she wonder about. What does she understand, more importantly – what doesn’t she understand, and what has she filled in the gaps with.
2 comments:
Poor little (well not SO little) thing. Don't you fee so helpless when they're obviously not themselves but you don't know why...I had a few days during my 7 weeks there last viist when Harry was the same. One day I KNOW he was sick... I see she has the polka dot pants on again - clearly her favorite! I hope the party goes well - even if it isn't what you envisioned, I'm sure to the kids at the orphanage, it will be HUGE!
Reading about your visits with Anya brought me to tears, Kathy. It brought back memories of when Austin was a little boy. (Hard to believe now!) My heart aches from one mother to another knowing the joys you are being denied due to a thoughtless, uncaring, selfish individual. (Sorry..probably shouldn't have said that but that's how I feel.) Not to say, all the joys Anya is being denied as well. Keeping you in my prayers, Joan
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