Happy Holidays!

Just wanted to wish everyone a belated Merry Christmas - and a Happy and Healthy New Year!

This is our tree...and yes, that is Jazz (our cat) who has to get in on the photo!

I will never be the same again

I will never be the same.

There are a few times in my life where I can mark in a calendar and say – the day before this event, I was different. Since this event, I am changed. Those life changes are what make me…ME. The good, bad and ugly :)

I think if we all think back over our lives, there are marked times when our perspective changes forever. When we are children, maybe it was when we found out that Santa Clause is really a man in costume, or when we finally ‘hit the ball out of the park’. Death of family members, divorce, seeing our parents for who they are as people, meeting our spouse – those are times when our lives change.

When I met my husband – my life changed.

When I learned the true meaning of Christmas – and saw Jesus’ life as a history lesson rather than a fable – my attitude changed.

When we decided to adopt – my perspective changed.

When I met Anya – who I am changed...my heart was different. The moment that little blonde haired, green eyes little girl walked into the room...I was different.

Changing my idea of who I am wasn’t hard when I became Marty’s wife. I guess on some level, I always felt like I was his wife…it just took a while to make it “official” (haha).

The definition of who I am changed when I decided to give my life to Christ. I didn’t change my personality, my friends, or what I liked to do…but it changed my thought process like nothing else I can imagine. It changed my motives for doing things. In some ways – it changed me for the better…but in other ways, I didn’t change at all. I was still me – just a better me. Some people would challenge that I changed a lot during this time...I maintain that I haven't changed...just different.

Then, when I met Anya – suddenly, in an instant – I became someone’s Mama. That is so much different than any other definition I had ever given to myself. I feel a level of responsibility in being a wife, in being a friend, daughter, sister, etc., - but the responsibility of being a Mom is huge.

Part of that responsibility is to protect her. To fight for her. To not give up on her. Since that day in 2004, a day hasn’t gone by that I haven’t thought about her, wondered what she is doing – or tried to come up with a new creative way to get her home. Everything I do is motivated by her. In my work; I am motivated to be the best I can be...because I am Anya's Mommy. I don't want to jeopardize our resources; because I am Anya's Mommy.

Now - when I look in the mirror - I don't see Fran's daughter, Dan's sister, Marty's wife, a fashion/style expert...I see Anya's Mommy.

It's different now. And, it will never be the same.

I will never be the same – and I Thank God for that...for Anya!

update...

Hello Everyone,

We talked to our contacts in Russia tonight. Apparently, the process as I understood it isn't exactly the way it goes.

Before our case officially goes to the Supreme Court - there is a meeting between our lawyer and the judge where our lawyer makes it knows that our intention is to take our case to the Supreme Court. Essentially, giving her one last chance.

The latest deal is that the judge won't accept our documents because we're not with an accredited agency. Which is OK by Russian Law. There are adoptions happening all over Russia by people who are "independent".

There is one agency who is waiting accreditation in Russia - the ONLY agency that works in Irkutsk. We've had some contact with the 'higher-ups' at this organization, and feel that when the accreditation comes through, that we will be able to help them - and they can help us. ...so to speak.

This agency has been 'next on the list' for a LONG time. We found out that there is one document they are having trouble getting in order to have the accreditation finalized. And, who knows when that will happen.

So - we're not waiting.

The plan is to call Irkutsk again in a few weeks to see how the meeting with the Judge went.

More updates in the courts in Irkutsk include a new Chief Judge, a new Deputy Judge...but Stepanova is still there :(

The rumors persist that she (Stepanova) will leave. Her commission is up, so she can leave any time. The newest rumor is that she will not come back after the winter holiday break (the month of January). Who knows...as with everything in Irkutsk, I will believe it when I see it!

So - here we are! Waiting again!

On a positive note, Anya is doing fine. Our friend in Irkutsk checked on her recently, and she is doing well.

Peggy Hilt talks to Newsweek.

To bring you up to speed...in my world, Peggy Sue Hilt is THE REASON we are not able to bring Anya home. She is the whack job who killed her child that was adopted from Irkutsk. When she was being sentenced, I called the Judge's office who was sentencing her, spoke to the media - did everything I could think of to make sure everyone knew that her actions didn't just effect the life of that poor little girl.

Well, in this piece from Newsweek, it seems to paint Peggy in a 'poor peggy' light. UGH! That just makes me so mad I can't see straight! In my world, NO CHILD DESERVES TO BE KILLED - ESPECIALLY AT THE HAND OF THEIR PARENTS! The load of crap that Peggy says here that she didn't know there were resources available to her - NOT! She was a member of several of the chat boards I am a member of - so she knows how to use the Internet. There are so many resources out there, it's stupid.

Bottom line, Newsweek shouldn't give 5-minutes of fame to a mental whack job who killed her child. Period. It does nothing to help anyone.


When Adoption Goes Wrong

Most Americans who adopt children from other countries find joy. But others aren't prepared for the risks—and may find themselves overwhelmed.
By Pat Wingert
NEWSWEEK
Updated: 3:16 PM ET Dec 8, 2007

Peggy Hilt wanted to be a good mother. But day after day, she got out of bed feeling like a failure. No matter what she tried, she couldn't connect with Nina, the 2-year old girl she'd adopted from Russia as an infant. The preschooler pulled away whenever Hilt tried to hug or kiss her. Nina was physically aggressive with her 4-year-old sister, who had been adopted from Ukraine, and had violent tantrums. Whenever Hilt wasn't watching, she destroyed the family's furniture and possessions. "Every day with Nina had become a struggle," she recalls now.

As the girl grew older, things got worse. Hilt fell into a deep depression. She started drinking heavily, something she'd never done before. Ashamed, she hid her problem from everyone, including her husband.

On the morning of July 1, 2005, Hilt was packing for a family vacation, all the while downing one beer after another and growing increasingly aggravated and impatient with Nina's antics. "Everything she did just got to me," Hilt said. When Hilt caught her reaching into her diaper and smearing feces on the walls and furniture, "a year and a half of frustration came to a head," Hilt says. "I snapped. I felt this uncontrollable rage."

Then Hilt did something unthinkable. She grabbed Nina around the neck, shook her and then dropped her to the floor, where she kicked her repeatedly before dragging her up to her room, punching her as they went. "I had never hit a child before," she says. "I felt horrible and promised myself that this would never happen again." But it was too late for that. Nina woke up with a fever, and then started vomiting. The next day she stopped breathing. By the time the ambulance got the child to the hospital, she was dead.

Hilt is now serving a 19-year sentence for second-degree murder in a Virginia maximum-security prison. She and her husband divorced, and he is raising their other daughter. She realizes the horror of her crime and says she isn't looking for sympathy. "There is no punishment severe enough for what I did," she told NEWSWEEK in an interview at the prison.

Hilt's story is awful—and rare—but sadly it is not unique. Adopting a child from another country is usually a positive, enriching experience for both the child and the parent. Over the last 20 years, foreign adoption has become more popular, and Americans now adopt about 20,000 children from Guatemala, China, Russia and other nations each year. (In the last few years, as restrictions and red tape have increased in some countries, the number of overseas adoptions has begun to drop.) Longitudinal studies show that most of these kids do quite well, but in a small but significant number of cases, things go very badly. Since the early 1990s, the deaths of 14 Russian children killed by their adoptive parents have been documented. (That disclosure was partly responsible for Russia's decision in 2006 to suspend its intercountry adoption program while it underwent review.)

Cases like those are extreme, but clinicians who specialize in treating foreign orphans say they are seeing more parents who are overwhelmed by their adopted children's unexpected emotional and behavioral problems. And though reputable agencies try to warn parents of the risks, not all succeed. "In the past, agencies were a bit naive," says Chuck Johnson of the National Council For Adoption, which is responding to the problem with a massive education initiative. "Now we're urging them to give parents a more realistic message." Some parents struggle to find effective treatment for their kids. Others seek to give them up. Reports that a growing number of foreign adoptees were being turned over to the U.S. foster-care system recently prompted the Department of Health and Human Services to order its first national count: 81 children adopted overseas were relinquished to officials in 14 states in 2006.

Why do some adoptions go so wrong? Clearly, it's not the kids' fault. Their behavior is usually the result of trauma, mistreatment, malnutrition or institutionalization in their home countries—problems more common in places like Eastern Europe. But "the country of origin doesn't matter so much as the child's experience," says Dr. Dana Johnson, director of the University of Minnesota's International Adoption Clinic. Some are found to suffer from fetal alcohol syndrome, mental illness or reactive attachment disorder, an inability to bond with a parent. Prospective families undergo an arduous screening process, including home visits, and specify how much disability they can handle. But even families who specifically request a "healthy" child sometimes go home with a troubled one. In some cases, the mismatch is inadvertent. But in others, orphanages or adoption agencies overseas—eager to find homes for difficult children in their care—mislead prospective parents or fail to disclose the full extent of a child's problems or personal history.

Emotional and even physical problems can be difficult to detect at the time of adoption, especially in infants, and often aren't diagnosed until months or years later. Hilt says that's what happened to her. She and her husband decided to adopt after being told she'd probably never conceive. After passing their agency's screening, they brought home their first daughter from Ukraine in 2001, and that went so well they decided to adopt two Russian sisters. But when they flew to Siberia to meet them in May 2003, they were told the sisters were no longer available. Instead, they were told, they could adopt Tatiana, a lively 18-month-old, and Nina, a quiet, withdrawn 9-month-old. They visited Tatiana every day for a week, but officials never let them see Nina again. "They said she had a bad cold," Hilt said. Nonetheless, they signed adoption papers for both girls. But when they returned to finalize the adoption in January 2004, they were told that only Nina was still available. The Hilts hesitated. They suspected a bait-and-switch, especially when officials insisted they sign papers testifying they'd spent many more hours with the baby than they had. "The whole process didn't feel right," Hilt said. "But we figured we could love any child. You convince yourself that everything will turn out OK."

But from the start, Nina "literally pushed me away," Hilt said. Over time, Hilt found herself resenting the little girl. "We'd been such a happy family, and then Nina came and everything changed," Hilt says. "I began to realize that we had made such a big mistake." (Tatyana Kharchendo, the doctor in charge of the Little Sun Child Home #1 in Irkutsk, where the Hilts adopted Nina, did not directly answer Hilt's charges, but insisted the child "was absolutely healthy and beautiful.")

No one is exonerating Hilt or others like her. But Joyce Sterkel, who runs the Ranch for Kids, a Montana boarding school for disturbed international adoptees, says she's come to see the parents as well as the kids as victims in these tragic cases. "It's a horrible thing, but I understand how some people end up killing these kids," she says. "They have no empathy, no affection, no love. My heart goes out to these parents because they don't know what to do."

When Sterkel, a nurse, first started working with international adoptees in the early '90s, she didn't see many deeply troubled children. But 10 years ago she adopted two Russian boys whose American parents had given up on them. One of them, a 14-year-old boy, had just been released from a juvenile-detention center after trying to poison his mother. Over time, Sterkel was approached so often about adopting other children that she decided to open her camp. Today it houses 25 to 30 kids from all over the country, and has a waiting list. The overwhelming majority are from Russia, Romania and Bulgaria, but she also has had children from South Korea and Colombia. Some were bullied or raped while institutionalized or were the children of prostitutes, drug addicts or alcoholics. "I have gotten calls from parents who say the child they adopted has killed the family dog, threatened to kill them, and no one will help them," she says.

Emotional, behavioral and physical problems are not unique to adopted children. Biological children can have the same range of issues. But adoptive parents often assume they know what they're getting into because they get the chance to meet their child in advance. That was the case when Kimble and Shellie Elmore of Los Angeles met a 10-year-old Russian child named Tania in 2005. The director of the orphanage proudly described her as an "angel."

But as soon as they took custody of their new daughter, her behavior changed dramatically. "She was completely out of control," Kimble says. Tania would scream for hours at a time, then fall into deep sullen silence. After signing Tania over to the Elmores, the Russian court handed them her file. They were stunned to find that she had a history of violence and had been transferred from one orphanage to another. They called their adoption agency back home, but were mistakenly told that there was nothing that could be done, that Tania was now their legal daughter. (The American Embassy could have helped, if they'd known.) Seeing no alternative, they boarded a plane and brought Tania back to California. By the end of the first week, she was admitted to a hospital psychiatric unit. She came home a few days later, but things grew worse. She tried to stab her father with a spike and attacked a police officer who came to the house in response to a 911 call.

Doctors diagnosed Tania with bipolar disorder, posttraumatic stress disorder and attachment disorder, and suggested she be sent to Sterkel's camp. In the past year the Elmores have exhausted their savings and retirement funds trying to pay for private residential treatment. "We know she's just a child and we want what's best for her," says Kimble. "But we don't know how to help her. Adoption is supposed to be a touchy-feely thing surrounded with the glow of new parenthood. But no one says, 'What if the worst happens?' "

Psychologist Karyn Purvis of Texas Christian University, who has done extensive research on troubled adopted children, says many of these kids simply don't respond to stern lectures and timeouts. Lab workups of her patients often reveal extremely high levels of cortisol, the stress hormone. "The children, for the most part, were in safe homes living with safe people," Purvis says, "but those cortisol levels told us that their children did not feel safe with them, even if they'd been living safely with them for years." Children like them are almost constantly in a hypervigilant state, she says. They don't let their guard down long enough to forge affectionate relationships.

Over the past several years Purvis has developed new methods to restore a sense of security and trust to traumatized kids. If a child becomes violent, for instance, Purvis often responds with a "basket hold." She cradles the kids firmly but gently in her lap, facing outward, with their arms crossed in front of their chests. She rocks and quietly soothes until they calm down, then asks them to look her in the eye and tell her what they want. Purvis's assistants have taken to calling her the "Child Whisperer."

Sometimes techniques like these result in dramatic turnarounds. The family of a 5-year-old adopted from Russia thought they had no choice but to seek psychiatric hospitalization after she threw her baby sister down the stairs. But after the parents adopted Purvis's methods, the little girl finally started talking about the serious abuse she'd experienced. The child's behavior changed markedly. But her mother "changed even more," Purvis says, "because now she has hope."

Purvis is quick to say that her techniques don't work with every child, and older kids can take much longer than younger ones. "They have to unlearn what they've learned," she said. The next step, she says, is for prospective adoptive parents to get more training before and after they adopt. "Very few agencies are training parents to deal with brain damage, sensory deprivation, aggression," Purvis says. "A lot of these parents are smitten with the hope that they'll make a difference in a child's life, but they need very practical tools. I consider myself very pro-adoption. But I'm also very pro informed adoption. "

Peggy Hilt wishes she'd heard this message years ago. "If I knew then what I know now," she says, "I would have gotten help for Nina and for me." The best she can hope for now, she says, is that her story will prompt others to seek that help before it's too late.
URL: http://www.newsweek.com/id/74385
© Newsweek Mag

Blog Tagging

I have a friend, Brenda, with a great Blog. She "tags" people all the time on her blog to post facts, play games, post jokes etc...she always seems to tag me! Or maybe she knows more than one Kathy - and I am just being narcissistic?

Anyway, the latest tag is 8 random facts. Since there are so many people who read this who don't really know me - I thought this might be a fun one.

1. I've had 5 last names in my life...but have only been married one other time.

2. The shoe/clothes thing isn't new, I have seriously ALWAYS been this way.

3. My grandpa probably had the biggest impact on my life.

4. I am scared of ducks (long story...goes back to a bad date in college)

5. I like to be silly - and am uncomfortable being too serious

6. I started dating my wonderful husband before I was 30 (ya, I was a kid!)- and didn't know how old he was until we had dated for over a month.

7. My biggest pet peeve is not being understood

8. Anya's name is a family name...my middle name is Ann (i.e. Russian Anna - Anya) - Anna is also Marty's grandmother's name...Anya's middle name is Helene...or Helen. Helen is the name of my grandmother, and of the director (or the Children's Home where she is) who is protecting her.


The deal with tagging is that I post this on my blog...and then tag people to post this on their blogs. Well - I know all of you out there well enough to know that you won't...so, I will tag whoever reads this, and is brave enough to post a comment to this thread!

Document Update

We heard from Russia today. Apparently our lawyer has had an emergency in her family, so was out of the office all of last week. She presented our documents, and of course, the Judge rejected them with technical issues (again).

Our appeal to the Supreme Court is being prepared now.

On one hand, I am excited. On the other hand, I am sick to my stomach. This elevates our case significantly - and will bring a lot of attention to our case (more than we already have). But, we're ready for it!

last word on prayer vigil

Here is a list of everyone we want to thank for praying with us today.


Kathy’s Mom – Fran
The Prayer Team at First Presbyterian Church in South Bend, IN
Vicki Matafin
Mark Potterbaum – 12-1pm EST praying and fasting
Gene Stowe – and men’s prayer group (up to 3,500 men nation wide will be praying for us later afternoon / early evening)
Gene Ort and family
Cindy Nicula and family
Wes Smith (on the plane on his way to Israel!)
Cindy Postma
Vicki Young
Young Family
Jackie Clindaniel
Vanessa Smith
Jen from FRUA
Miriam Friend (Marty’s Mom)
VMom from FRUA
Michelle Wegner
Trish Linner
The 2nd grade class at St. Andrew’s school
Lori Rockwell and family
Cindi Hajicek
YAHOO Group
Kathy and Marty
Judy
Lynn M.
Brenda
Mclsch
Miriam Navarro
Joyce
Wanda
Amy M.
Miriam
Patricia
Lupita
Jill Mulger
Janett Stewart

shared prayer

Someone from my Yahoo group posted this prayer - it brought me to tears, so I thought I would share it.

May you be blessed as you spend time with the Father. I pray He reveals to you His Heart by His Holy Spirit. I pray against the enemy who would have you fear or doubt. All you need is the Faith of the grain of a mustard seed and, He will move mountains. I do not know what the mountains are. I do come against the wickedness and evil in high places that would keep a child from a loving parent. I pray you protect them and as these women intercede on their behalf, I pray strength for them, I pray peace, I pray that they will feel your presence Jesus. And just as Moses was able to part the Red Sea I pray that the REd tape of the Russian Government will be parted and the people will be able to claim their children and their promise land. We ask all of this so that you may be glorified. We understand Lord that it is your power and will that makes all things possible and so we submit this into your hands Hear the prayers of your people Lord. We praise you for your mighty works!!! In His most precious name we pray the name of JESUS! THank you Father for hearing my prayer your humble servant.

what gets me about Russia

I know - I am a glutton for punishment. I was surfing You Tube tonight looking at some of the videos people have posted about their adoption stories. It doesn't matter where the video was taken - all of Russia looks the same!

Conversely, here at home, Bristol doesn't look like South Bend...and Northern Indiana SURE doesn't look like Florida!

Prayer Vigil update

Here is who we have praying so far. As we add to the list, this information will be updated:

Prayer Vigil
Tuesday November 13 - 2007

Kathy and Marty
Kathy’s Mom – Fran
The Prayer Team at First Presbyterian Church in South Bend, IN
Vicki Matafin
Mark Potterbaum – 12-1pm EST praying and fasting
Gene Stowe – and men’s prayer group (up to 3,500 men nation wide will be praying for us later afternoon / early evening)
Gene Ort and family
Cindy Nicula and family
Wes Smith (on the plane on his way to Israel!)
Cindy Postma
Vicki Young

YAHOO Group
Will be praying from 8am – noon EST
Kathy and Marty
Judy
Judy’s Women’s Prayer Group
Lynn M.
Brenda
Mclsch
Miriam Navarro
Joyce

PRAYER VIGIL TUESDAY NOV. 13

Hello Everyone,

Several people have suggested to me over the past few weeks, to have a dedicated time for a 24 hour prayer vigil. On FRUA, some members did this last week, and the outcome was amazing - but then, isn't the outcome of prayer always amazing?!?!?

I was so busy last week, I completely missed the prompting on FRUA. I feel like I am hearing God's gentle prompting become a loud roar - and I am going to respond!

There are a lot of things happening in Irkutsk, and with adoptions in Russia. Now is the time to pray!

A 24 prayer vigil will be on Tuesday the 13th. I've never organized anything like this - so if you have, I'd love some input on how to organize this effort.

1) The Orphans in Russia and around the world
2) The Families waiting to welcome a child into tier lives

3) The officials in Russia with the power to sign accreditation paperwork for adoption agencies - and the Judges who hear adoption cases. This includes the US Embassy who is working diligently to help our cases.

4) The Orphans birth parents / families

5) The caregivers of the orphans

6) anything else that comes to mind as you pray


If you are with us on this time of prayer, please reply to this thread...

-Kathy & Marty

Bananna Hands

OK, I know my sense of humor is a little off sometimes - but when I get in a bad mood - I always watch this - and it TOTALLY cracks me up. Thanks Leah for sharing this hilarity! It's just so stupid, you have to laugh at it! ...especially if you've ever been to Germany and noticed how the people there communicate. Or - if you've ever been to parts of Europe - and seen the music videos - this is EXACTLY the kind os sillyness we've seen on Russian TV - but it was in Russian.

My Hands Are Bananas

Add to My Profile | More Videos

New Hair

One of the reasons we went to Chicago was because I had an appointment with Mario Tricoci. http://www.tricoci.com/

You can see my hair before in the photos to the right from when we were in Russia in September. With my new TV gig, I don't want to be wearing my hair in a pony tail all the time - it just looks ridiculous on camera. So - a super duper cut was in order. It looked so good when the stylist (Jasmine) was done - now if I can figure out how to to that - we'll be all set!

weekend away

We took a few days out this week to go to Chicago. I had to go on a buying trip, and decided to bring Marty along for a change of scenery. We were fortunate enough to stay at a condo right on Lake Shore Drive - a few blocks off of the Magnificient Mile - right on the water. I think this real eatate has to be some of the most expensive in Chicago!

The views were amazing. 2 walls of the condo were windows overlooking the lake.

Another conversation with the Embassy

Mark from the Embassy called again this morning. I had emailed him to ask if his office could authenticate our documents to get over the apostille issue. Mark spoke with Marty - seems like they were on the phone for a long time!

His office will provide a letter for us to authenticate our apostilles (yay)! I guess they did this in another region, and it was exactly what the judge wanted. He also reiterated to us that the Embassy is behind us 100%, and are brainstorming ideas every day on ways to help us. Not sure if I believe that 100%, but it was nice to hear. He had a good point...he said in Russia, it's not just knowing the law - but knowing the attitude around the law. In the US, the law is the law - regardless of the attitude. The attitude is what we're trying to figure out - and once we crack the code - we (and others) will know what the Judge wants.

Mark also said that one of the left over attitudes from Communist Russia is the notion that someone is always watching. This 'fear' is especially prevalent in older Russian people. Because of this fear, they are more likely to say no than yes...even to simple things. You can't get in trouble for saying no - at least, that is the attitude.

So - it all goes back to attitude.

I corresponded with our lawyer today, and reiterated that if the Judge does not provide a court date for us this week, we will take our case above her head. Step-1 will be to appeal her decision to the Chief Judge. Step-2 is to appeal her decision to the Human Rights Board.

Thank you for continuing to pray for us. We're heading to Chicago on a buying trip this week - it will be nice to have a change of scenery and relax a little bit.

Adoption Update Oct. 31

October is finally over!...



Most of you know that after our revised documents got to Irkutsk the end of September, the Judge decided to take the month of October off. I know - I can hear all of you saying in unison - "ARE YOU KIDDING ME" - unfortunately, no, I'm not.

Well, Judge Stepanova is scheduled to come back on Monday, November 5. Our lawyer is primed, and is going to be waiting on her doorstep.

So once again, we're asking for prayer and a miracle!


KEEP UP TO DATE
weekly and sometimes daily updates and thoughts on this blog.

We are keeping everyone up to date with everything from political junk in Russia, rumors, real updates, random thoughts and so on on our blog. All of the posts are organized - so it is easy for you to see. We would also like to invite you to reply to any post! We would love to hear from you!
THANK YOU!

Thank you for being on this journey with us!

Love,
Marty and Kathy

Lurkers

It's crazy to think that this blog has had SO MANY people visit it - but no one is posting any comments! I know you're out there! Post something! All you need to do is click the "0 Comments" below each post.

the bigger meaning of things

So - for the past few weeks, I seem to be pushed - tested. First, it was with a woman who was part of a project I did with a friend a few weeks ago (I blogged about in the post that refers to the song "East / West"). I am/was grateful she is out of my life - however, she is still causing storms with several of my friends. It's sad when a business relationship causes such chaos in people's personal lives!

Well, then there was the mail man. Long story short - there is a guy at the Bristol post office who takes his job a little too seriously. He has all these "rules" he never tells anyone - but expects you to abide by. I almost went postal on him (no pun intended) - I got so mad, I had to hand the phone over to my hubby!!

Of course, there was the whole situation with the Embassy that ruffled my feathers.

Now there is a client of my husbands...the client has an employee who is incompetent...so instead of listening - he is always thinking of the next thing to say to cover his butt. In the business of advertising, that is a bad deal. He is one of those people who start every comment by saying "with all due respect, ma'am...." and all I hear is "I'm covering my butt right now and bla blaing on and on to buy time until I can come up with something to say"

My blood pressure must be sky high. I really feel like I am going to completely lose my temper - like I am being pushed and pushed and pushed - to see how much I will take before I go completely ape on someone. That's right - I said ape!

Then I wonder...why?

What am I supposed to be learning? What is the bigger picture? Am I being tested because this is how the judge is going to treat me - and I need to get comfortable with biting my tongue?

I just don't get it.

Tornado hits Nappannee

A Tornado touched down Thursday in a small town called Nappanee - this is very close to our house. Thursday night, we were on our way to Lowe's, and the radio weather guy came on and said, "dangerous storm system heading East...towns in the path of the storm are Goshen, Dunlap, Bristol" Well, we were in Dunlap, heading to Goshn from Bristol. Anyone who knows me at all knows I DO NOT like storms!

After eating dinner, and thinking that all the rhetoric on the radio and TV about the storms was a scare tactic...we learned about what was happening a little south of us.

I saw some photos today of the destruction on another blog...

Derry Prenkert: Tornado Touch Down in Nappanee

on traveling to Russia

This is a Fodor's travel reporter on a trip to Russia. Pretty accurate from what I read.
http://www.fodors.com/forums/threadselect.jsp?fid=2&tid=35068558