Wednesday, March 17, 2010
moola and such
Well, Alex came over this after noon and got a wad-o-money from us. Hopefully, this is a good sign. Maybe he knows that the passport is coming, and that we'll be leaving soon. Generally when we've come to Russia before, he visits on the next to the last day to collect money. Him coming this soon is kind of unusual. Unless he had a mortgage payment (or 10) due...or maybe he is buying a new car and needed a down payment...
sad - the things I don't know
It’s sad, really. There is so much about Anya I don’t know. I don’t know how she got the little scar by her eye or how she got the little scar under her arm (or if it is even a scar).
We learned that she has never had a bath. At the orphanage, the children showered – a few at a time (assuming 3-4 girls at a time), and from what I understand, they were only “allowed” to do that once a week (ONCE A WEEK!?). Generally, they would wash in a sink, with no soap. I can only imagine how filthy the wash rag was.
Anya told Anne (the English teacher) that she was very excited that she gets to wash every night, and made sure to tell Anne, that Mommy and Daddy wash every morning.
We learned that she has never had a bath. At the orphanage, the children showered – a few at a time (assuming 3-4 girls at a time), and from what I understand, they were only “allowed” to do that once a week (ONCE A WEEK!?). Generally, they would wash in a sink, with no soap. I can only imagine how filthy the wash rag was.
Anya told Anne (the English teacher) that she was very excited that she gets to wash every night, and made sure to tell Anne, that Mommy and Daddy wash every morning.
what we've been up to
The other day, we decided to walk up Lenin Street and found this cafe. We HAD to get a picture with it!
This was one of those days when everyone at home was oooing and ahhhhing about how nice the Spring weather was. It was about 4below zero (Fahrenheit) here - and as you can see, it was snowing.
We've started a count down calendar of sorts. It is more a bunch of pictures that we drew and colored, and hung on the wall. I did take the inside cardboard from a TP roll and a roll of paper towels, cut it apart and color the pieces. Then, we taped those pieces together - one for each remaining day (I think) we'll be here. We have a ring count down until we go to Moscow, and then a few more until we fly home. Here are some pics of it (there are rings below the 'Moscow' picture too)
In going through this drawing exercise, we learned that Anya is a very good artist. Here she is, deep in thought, creating a masterpiece:
And a close up of what she is drawing (it is of 2 cats on a couch)
This was one of those days when everyone at home was oooing and ahhhhing about how nice the Spring weather was. It was about 4below zero (Fahrenheit) here - and as you can see, it was snowing.
We've started a count down calendar of sorts. It is more a bunch of pictures that we drew and colored, and hung on the wall. I did take the inside cardboard from a TP roll and a roll of paper towels, cut it apart and color the pieces. Then, we taped those pieces together - one for each remaining day (I think) we'll be here. We have a ring count down until we go to Moscow, and then a few more until we fly home. Here are some pics of it (there are rings below the 'Moscow' picture too)
In going through this drawing exercise, we learned that Anya is a very good artist. Here she is, deep in thought, creating a masterpiece:
And a close up of what she is drawing (it is of 2 cats on a couch)
Tuesday, March 16, 2010
survived the day
Today, we decided we'd go to the Chinese Market. We needed some excitement, adventure - and a pair of gloves.
The Chinese Market has a long history of thieves. Every time we've been in Irkutsk, and we've driven by or even mentioned the market - the 'local' that is with us tells us stories of Americans who have been robbed there.
We've been a few times in the past, and have never been robbed - so we thought we'd give it a try today. We had a plan, we weren't carrying any valuables, we were on a glove seeking mission!
We get there, walk into the first stand, and inquire about a pair of gloves. We get about 3 stands down, and I am pretty sure some kind of signal went out to the entire market that there were Americans in the building.
We end up at this booth near the back, and the Chinese woman tending it said something about 'American' (Marty knows a little Chinese, so he quickly recognized the word).
The end of the story? We got 2 pairs of gloves (one for Marty, and one for Anya) and headed back to the walking street. No harm, no foul, no robberies - just some yadda-yadda about the 'Americans'. Kinda funny. I bet they were disappointed we didn't spend a lot of money. Only about $25.
...and that was our day.
The Chinese Market has a long history of thieves. Every time we've been in Irkutsk, and we've driven by or even mentioned the market - the 'local' that is with us tells us stories of Americans who have been robbed there.
We've been a few times in the past, and have never been robbed - so we thought we'd give it a try today. We had a plan, we weren't carrying any valuables, we were on a glove seeking mission!
We get there, walk into the first stand, and inquire about a pair of gloves. We get about 3 stands down, and I am pretty sure some kind of signal went out to the entire market that there were Americans in the building.
We end up at this booth near the back, and the Chinese woman tending it said something about 'American' (Marty knows a little Chinese, so he quickly recognized the word).
The end of the story? We got 2 pairs of gloves (one for Marty, and one for Anya) and headed back to the walking street. No harm, no foul, no robberies - just some yadda-yadda about the 'Americans'. Kinda funny. I bet they were disappointed we didn't spend a lot of money. Only about $25.
...and that was our day.
Monday, March 15, 2010
our little rock star
...and if you haven't seen this yet - get comfortable, and be prepared to giggle uncontrollably.
more questions answered part 3
What toys & activities have been real winners?
So far, she loves anything with a ball. Just a ball to play catch with, or a ball and hand racket kind of thing she loves.
Also really likes games – like Candy Land, Uno.
She is loving Winnie Pooh DVDs (the weird Russian version, and the normal red-shirt wearing Pooh version) – which is a great “quiet down” thing. We made the mistake (not sure if it is a mistake or not…) of letting her play with Marty’s IPod Touch. That is a favorite too. All the games she likes, and really enjoys listening to music. How she can find the songs on there she likes is beyond me! He has HUNDREDS of albums on his IPod, but she somehow finds Hillsong and an old REM song every time!
What do you wish you'd brought?
The things I wish I would have brought with me are more for my comfort than anything else. More body lotion, a tunic (I live in tunics and leggings / jeans at home), another skirt, a purse (just brought a big tote and a little LITTLE purse). I wish I would have brought more hair things for Anya. I thought I had more, but the night before we were leaving and I was doing last minute packing, I realized I didn’t have as many as I thought. Need more bows!
There are things I am very glad I brought with me…Aveda Night Nutrients – wouldn’t leave home with out it! Especially in this weather (skin saver!). Also glad I brought bath gel and lotion for Anya. She loves that part of the nightly routine.
What fun toys/activities have you obtained in Irkutsk?
We haven’t purchased anything here. The toys are SO expensive! I take that back…we’ve purchased some coloring books. Anya likes coloring too (and so do I!). We’ve been blessed and been able to borrow some things to pay with from the Jackson’s. I (mistakenly) thought that there would be some things in the apartment to play with – but there isn’t anything here.
What Russian vocab have you found very helpful and use all the time?
It is amazing what comes back to you when you are here. At home, I have trouble coming up with Russian things to say – but here, I can communicate OK with Anya and anyone in a store or café. The most important thing I say is “I don’t understand in Russian, do you speak English?”. With my limited understanding of Russian and sign language – we get around OK. The only challenge is at the grocery store – again, thank God for the Jackson’s!
When we first started this journey, we purchased a Russian Language CD for adoption. It has proven VERY helpful, and offers enough basics to get around – and words that you can use to build on.
So far, she loves anything with a ball. Just a ball to play catch with, or a ball and hand racket kind of thing she loves.
Also really likes games – like Candy Land, Uno.
She is loving Winnie Pooh DVDs (the weird Russian version, and the normal red-shirt wearing Pooh version) – which is a great “quiet down” thing. We made the mistake (not sure if it is a mistake or not…) of letting her play with Marty’s IPod Touch. That is a favorite too. All the games she likes, and really enjoys listening to music. How she can find the songs on there she likes is beyond me! He has HUNDREDS of albums on his IPod, but she somehow finds Hillsong and an old REM song every time!
What do you wish you'd brought?
The things I wish I would have brought with me are more for my comfort than anything else. More body lotion, a tunic (I live in tunics and leggings / jeans at home), another skirt, a purse (just brought a big tote and a little LITTLE purse). I wish I would have brought more hair things for Anya. I thought I had more, but the night before we were leaving and I was doing last minute packing, I realized I didn’t have as many as I thought. Need more bows!
There are things I am very glad I brought with me…Aveda Night Nutrients – wouldn’t leave home with out it! Especially in this weather (skin saver!). Also glad I brought bath gel and lotion for Anya. She loves that part of the nightly routine.
What fun toys/activities have you obtained in Irkutsk?
We haven’t purchased anything here. The toys are SO expensive! I take that back…we’ve purchased some coloring books. Anya likes coloring too (and so do I!). We’ve been blessed and been able to borrow some things to pay with from the Jackson’s. I (mistakenly) thought that there would be some things in the apartment to play with – but there isn’t anything here.
What Russian vocab have you found very helpful and use all the time?
It is amazing what comes back to you when you are here. At home, I have trouble coming up with Russian things to say – but here, I can communicate OK with Anya and anyone in a store or café. The most important thing I say is “I don’t understand in Russian, do you speak English?”. With my limited understanding of Russian and sign language – we get around OK. The only challenge is at the grocery store – again, thank God for the Jackson’s!
When we first started this journey, we purchased a Russian Language CD for adoption. It has proven VERY helpful, and offers enough basics to get around – and words that you can use to build on.
Sunday, March 14, 2010
new fun things
Been trying to think of things that might be new and different since we've been in Russia - of course, in addition to Anya.
- Talking and sometimes screaming in your sleep. Yes, Anya does this. Saying perfectly coherent words (of course, that we generally don't know what they mean)
- I like oatmeal. Who would have thought it? But I really do!
- Referring to ourselves in the third person. This was kind of by mistake. We were trying to get Anya to call us 'Mommy' or 'Daddy'...so I would say "give it to Mommy". Well, now Anya is doing that too - saying things like "Anya toilet". We're trying to teach her 'me', 'I', and 'you'.
- Pickles with dinner. All the time - because we're in Russia, therefore we must have dill pickles.
- Surviving on 4-5 hours of sleep a night. I am a sleeper. I could probably get by with 6 hours a night, if they were good, restful hours of sleep. Because of the screaming in the sleep, the traffic on the road we're on (we are in a 1st floor apartment, bedroom windows on the street side), and the 3am removal of snow from the streets (insert sounds of massive machinery and scraping of streets and sidewalks)...we're not really sleeping at all.
- Walking. I SO WISH we could walk for a few hours every day at home.
- Going to church where you don't understand anything that is being preached...and not caring...just being happy to be with other Christians.
- I color about every day. Not because there is nothing else to do, but because it is kind of a stress reliever for me.
- Using a bathroom without a functional door. Oh, the joy! The door here in the bathroom doesn't really latch, and because it doesn't latch, it doesn't close. This has created some real 'oi!' moments over the past week and 1/2!
Things they really should tell you - part dva (2)
There are things you never thought would tickle you so much. Little things in your day with your little one- firsts that you knew were going to happen, but when the do happen, the pure joy that comes over you makes up for everything else.
Things like:
MORNING. When Anya wakes up in the morning, she always comes to my side of the bed first. She wants to snuggle. Her kinda-whisper (remember the previous post about her communication volume? Her whisper isn't so quiet) - generally counting to 10, or saying 'I love you Mommy'.
PRAYERS. Now that Anya has been with us for almost 2 weeks, she has seen our routines, including prayer time at meals and at bedtime. I posted a little note about her praying the other day. Seeing her eager face the first time she prayed at dinner, or even when I asked her to please wait to start eating, and seeing her 'get it' - and quickly clasp her hands in the praying-position. If my heart had cockles, they'd be warmed.
BATH TIME. I have claimed this time. It is mine, and I will not share it with anyone else, even Daddy (at least for now). I love how Anya wants me to pick her up and out of the bath, how she wants me to bathe her, the little content look she gets on her face when I am washing her hair. It is our time. We talk, laugh...even if I don't completely understand what she is telling me, she talks and chatters on and on. She has seen my bath routine, how after a shower, I put on lotion. Now - she insists on cream, exclaiming, "I need NEED cream". Especially on her face (where the majority of my lotion potions go - hee hee!). Hearing her say "I need cream, like mommy" - yep, THAT is MY girl!
NATURAL ABILITY. Seeing Anya for Anya. Watching her, observing her God given talents. That is amazing. Seeing her throw a ball, the way she love sports. The flip side of that coin is to see her draw. She can really DRAW! When she is creating a picture, she really sees what she is creating (which makes no sense unless you have observed a creative person 'create').
I'm sure throughout the years, her abilities will be finely tuned and will change. I think that is great - I am proud to be her Mommy, and encourage her to seek out those God given talents!
GIRL TIME. Pretty clear that Anya's favorite is Daddy, That is awesome! But there are those times that only a Mommy can handle. Hair brushing, toenail painting, choosing clothes, making dinner. Today, it was toenail painting...and it was awesome! No one told me how great it would be to hear my little girl say "Mommy"!
YUM YUM - for someone who is not a cook, not domestic, and never really tried to be...harvesting that part of my personality for the sake of motherhood has been a - well, opportunity. To make something here, from scratch - and have your little girl look at you and (scream, of course) yum yum yum yum! Well, that is about as good as it gets!
Things like:
MORNING. When Anya wakes up in the morning, she always comes to my side of the bed first. She wants to snuggle. Her kinda-whisper (remember the previous post about her communication volume? Her whisper isn't so quiet) - generally counting to 10, or saying 'I love you Mommy'.
PRAYERS. Now that Anya has been with us for almost 2 weeks, she has seen our routines, including prayer time at meals and at bedtime. I posted a little note about her praying the other day. Seeing her eager face the first time she prayed at dinner, or even when I asked her to please wait to start eating, and seeing her 'get it' - and quickly clasp her hands in the praying-position. If my heart had cockles, they'd be warmed.
BATH TIME. I have claimed this time. It is mine, and I will not share it with anyone else, even Daddy (at least for now). I love how Anya wants me to pick her up and out of the bath, how she wants me to bathe her, the little content look she gets on her face when I am washing her hair. It is our time. We talk, laugh...even if I don't completely understand what she is telling me, she talks and chatters on and on. She has seen my bath routine, how after a shower, I put on lotion. Now - she insists on cream, exclaiming, "I need NEED cream". Especially on her face (where the majority of my lotion potions go - hee hee!). Hearing her say "I need cream, like mommy" - yep, THAT is MY girl!
NATURAL ABILITY. Seeing Anya for Anya. Watching her, observing her God given talents. That is amazing. Seeing her throw a ball, the way she love sports. The flip side of that coin is to see her draw. She can really DRAW! When she is creating a picture, she really sees what she is creating (which makes no sense unless you have observed a creative person 'create').
I'm sure throughout the years, her abilities will be finely tuned and will change. I think that is great - I am proud to be her Mommy, and encourage her to seek out those God given talents!
GIRL TIME. Pretty clear that Anya's favorite is Daddy, That is awesome! But there are those times that only a Mommy can handle. Hair brushing, toenail painting, choosing clothes, making dinner. Today, it was toenail painting...and it was awesome! No one told me how great it would be to hear my little girl say "Mommy"!
YUM YUM - for someone who is not a cook, not domestic, and never really tried to be...harvesting that part of my personality for the sake of motherhood has been a - well, opportunity. To make something here, from scratch - and have your little girl look at you and (scream, of course) yum yum yum yum! Well, that is about as good as it gets!
Things they really should tell you
There are things someone really should tell you about the first week or so together with a newly adopted child.
On a lot of the adoption blogs I've been reading over the years, all I've read about was all the happy happy joy joy - yes, there is A LOT of that during your early days together. So many fun things to witness, firsts for your child.
I wish someone could have prepared me for a few things that most of us PAPs have experienced. Luckily, I have a lot of friends who have adopted children about the same age that Anya is, so I have resources to call in times of question - PRAISE GOD for that!
The first thing is regression. At the orphanage, Anya was always very independent. This made me a little sad because I wanted to 'baby' her...and when I would try (at the orphanage) she would sternly remind me that she is a big girl, and can do it herself.
Because of this, I had prepared myself for her to not want me to help her bathe, get dressed, brush her hair etc. I was mentally challenging myself to pick my battles.
Now that she has been with us for almost 2 weeks, she seems to have forgotten completely how to bathe herself and dress herself. Even when you ask her to please put on her pants, she acts like she doesn't remember how. Also, she is always asking to be picked up and carried around. She is a big girl - 55" tall, and about 55lbs. Tall and skinny - and hard to have on your hip as you are cooking dinner.
For now, this is all OK with me. We want her to be dependent on us for her needs and wants. We want her to come to us for comfort.
As I type this, she just put on her own socks, and made sure I saw that she did that. This is a first! Not sure if that is good or bad...just a first.
Yelling - oi the volume! I remember being in Anya's room at the orphanage when the kids were getting ready to go outside. All 10 (ish) kids were yelling and screaming, vying for the mama's attention (the caregiver). Of course I don't expect Anya to understand "use your indoor voice, please!". Trying to get the overall volume of her communication turned down has been a bit of a challenge. We've had to stop her, put our hand over her mouth (to shhhhh her), and quietly remind her that we are 3 inches in front of her face, there is no need to scream. Not sure she gets this yet, but we have noticed that when we say 'shhhh' she knows where the conversation is going.
The volume goes beyond just her communication volume. She wants everything LOUD. The TV, DVD, IPod - everything.
Attitude - PI kids have never been taught respect or manners. The attitude that comes out when you say 'no' shows that. And as a Mom - it can be a hard pill to swallow. I have friends who have had their Russian kiddos home for years - 6-7-8 years, and they have commented to me on this attitude. One friend even emailed me last week to ask "so, have you seen the sassy pants attitude yet?"
The survival skills all institutionalized kids learn is probably the hardest thing for them to shed once they become a part of a loving family. If you think about it, they have to be tough to be in an orphanage. The weak are taken advantage of and hurt. They have to appear strong, even if they aren't.
The reality of this stings...this is a life-skill that I don't think I've mastered, and I'm 40. My 7 year old has this skill down like a pro.
I am going to break. Seriously, she is going to break me - literally. Kids who have lived in an orphanage play HARD. They play very rough. It is what it is. But, this isn't something that you are completely prepared for. When your precious little one comes running toward you at full speed, you think "oh, she wants to hug me!"...truth is, her goal is to tackle you.
The way kids play in orphanages is different from the way my friends (your kids) play. She is learning - every day. She is realizing that playing rough is not fun, that it hurts. The first few times she did something that hurt one of us, she thought it was hilarious...of course, we didn't. For example, when she plays ball she throws it AT YOU with all her might - generally aiming for your face.
In the meantime, she has bumped my chin (pretty sure I chipped a tooth), jumped on my stomach so hard I thought my spleen burst (and I don't even know exactly where my spleen is), stood on my knee cap (explaining my current slight limp), and can be credited for some interesting bruises on her Daddy.
Mosz it mena. I know I didn't phonetically type that right. Basically, it means "can I have...". Intellectually, we knew that she would be asking for a lot of things. Having never had anything, we were preparred for a nightmare when we went to the market or into a store.
We are grateful that she is not that way in public. She is very well behaved, and is just excited about everything, and wants to be sure that we see everything that she is seeing.
What has been trying is the 'mosz na pechina' (I want a cookie). So, we say no. And she asks again, and again, and again. Obviously trying to figure out how many times she has to ask before we give in. The easy thing to do is...well, give in. Doing the hard thing and sticking to our guns is trying...on all of us.
I will say, she is very convincing at the 'ask'. Really, it is all about learning boundaries. Truth is, we love our little one so much, that we say 'no' a lot!
On a lot of the adoption blogs I've been reading over the years, all I've read about was all the happy happy joy joy - yes, there is A LOT of that during your early days together. So many fun things to witness, firsts for your child.
I wish someone could have prepared me for a few things that most of us PAPs have experienced. Luckily, I have a lot of friends who have adopted children about the same age that Anya is, so I have resources to call in times of question - PRAISE GOD for that!
The first thing is regression. At the orphanage, Anya was always very independent. This made me a little sad because I wanted to 'baby' her...and when I would try (at the orphanage) she would sternly remind me that she is a big girl, and can do it herself.
Because of this, I had prepared myself for her to not want me to help her bathe, get dressed, brush her hair etc. I was mentally challenging myself to pick my battles.
Now that she has been with us for almost 2 weeks, she seems to have forgotten completely how to bathe herself and dress herself. Even when you ask her to please put on her pants, she acts like she doesn't remember how. Also, she is always asking to be picked up and carried around. She is a big girl - 55" tall, and about 55lbs. Tall and skinny - and hard to have on your hip as you are cooking dinner.
For now, this is all OK with me. We want her to be dependent on us for her needs and wants. We want her to come to us for comfort.
As I type this, she just put on her own socks, and made sure I saw that she did that. This is a first! Not sure if that is good or bad...just a first.
Yelling - oi the volume! I remember being in Anya's room at the orphanage when the kids were getting ready to go outside. All 10 (ish) kids were yelling and screaming, vying for the mama's attention (the caregiver). Of course I don't expect Anya to understand "use your indoor voice, please!". Trying to get the overall volume of her communication turned down has been a bit of a challenge. We've had to stop her, put our hand over her mouth (to shhhhh her), and quietly remind her that we are 3 inches in front of her face, there is no need to scream. Not sure she gets this yet, but we have noticed that when we say 'shhhh' she knows where the conversation is going.
The volume goes beyond just her communication volume. She wants everything LOUD. The TV, DVD, IPod - everything.
Attitude - PI kids have never been taught respect or manners. The attitude that comes out when you say 'no' shows that. And as a Mom - it can be a hard pill to swallow. I have friends who have had their Russian kiddos home for years - 6-7-8 years, and they have commented to me on this attitude. One friend even emailed me last week to ask "so, have you seen the sassy pants attitude yet?"
The survival skills all institutionalized kids learn is probably the hardest thing for them to shed once they become a part of a loving family. If you think about it, they have to be tough to be in an orphanage. The weak are taken advantage of and hurt. They have to appear strong, even if they aren't.
The reality of this stings...this is a life-skill that I don't think I've mastered, and I'm 40. My 7 year old has this skill down like a pro.
I am going to break. Seriously, she is going to break me - literally. Kids who have lived in an orphanage play HARD. They play very rough. It is what it is. But, this isn't something that you are completely prepared for. When your precious little one comes running toward you at full speed, you think "oh, she wants to hug me!"...truth is, her goal is to tackle you.
The way kids play in orphanages is different from the way my friends (your kids) play. She is learning - every day. She is realizing that playing rough is not fun, that it hurts. The first few times she did something that hurt one of us, she thought it was hilarious...of course, we didn't. For example, when she plays ball she throws it AT YOU with all her might - generally aiming for your face.
In the meantime, she has bumped my chin (pretty sure I chipped a tooth), jumped on my stomach so hard I thought my spleen burst (and I don't even know exactly where my spleen is), stood on my knee cap (explaining my current slight limp), and can be credited for some interesting bruises on her Daddy.
Mosz it mena. I know I didn't phonetically type that right. Basically, it means "can I have...". Intellectually, we knew that she would be asking for a lot of things. Having never had anything, we were preparred for a nightmare when we went to the market or into a store.
We are grateful that she is not that way in public. She is very well behaved, and is just excited about everything, and wants to be sure that we see everything that she is seeing.
What has been trying is the 'mosz na pechina' (I want a cookie). So, we say no. And she asks again, and again, and again. Obviously trying to figure out how many times she has to ask before we give in. The easy thing to do is...well, give in. Doing the hard thing and sticking to our guns is trying...on all of us.
I will say, she is very convincing at the 'ask'. Really, it is all about learning boundaries. Truth is, we love our little one so much, that we say 'no' a lot!
Saturday, March 13, 2010
Step #1 done, Step #2 done, Step #3 in process
Yep, you heard it here first. The blue dog jumped over the red moon. Errrr, I mean, the passport is in process. Getting a passport her feels like some kind of James Bond 007 mission - which is why I accidentally (hee hee) started talking about this in code.
Seriously, DO NOT ever complain about the way passports are done in the U.S.!
We went to the passport office. In this little waiting room area, there were about 200 people jammed in there like sardines. All staring at us like something that just walked in from off of the moon. Anyway - we walked through the crowd, to this door in the back of the room - and walked right in...which got some interesting looks from the crowd. We waited about 2 minutes before the woman at the back desk motioned for us to come over and sit down. She took a STACK of documents from Andrew, and inspected each one very carefully. She was asking questions - I got nervous. She then wanted to see our passports, but never even glanced at mine. She inspected Marty's as if it wasn't real. She looked at his immigration paperwork, Visa, and his registration card. There was something about the registration she didn't like. She took it out of his passport and left the room.
(insert sound of freaking out here)
This is when I started to pray. Just about went to my knees!
Marty asked Andrew what the deal was, and she wanted to make sure it was authentic (huh? it has the oh coveted stamp on it!). She returned to the room, apparently with the power-that-be's approval. She then wanted to see the original adoption decree and original birth certificate (although she had perfectly good copies in her stand of papers).
All of this is very typical of getting anything done here - so really, nothing was out of the ordinary.
We asked about obtainng a regular passport rather than a biometric one. In order to do that, we would need to approach the chief of that passport office. The chief only works on Friday and Tuesday (from something like 11 - 3). There was no guarantee he would grant our request, and if he did grant it, we would have to resubmit all of the documents and still wait the 2 weeks to get the passport issued.
In other words, things are NOT like they are at home. At home, if you have an emergency, you can pay to have your passport expidited. Not here. I wonder what happens when someone has to leave the country for an emergency...they probably die waiting for thier passport to be delivered from the official government courier.
We were told that we can start checking to see if the passport came in on the 22nd. That is in a week and 1/2. There is no phone number to call (like the USCIS!), you have to show up...and when you show up, you wait to see if the box of passports was delivered that day. That is what all those people were doing out in the lobby area. Waiting on the mail to arrive (basically).
So we wait, and pray.
Ya know that book "Eat, Sleep and Pray"? I should write a book called "Pray, wait and Pray"
Seriously, DO NOT ever complain about the way passports are done in the U.S.!
We went to the passport office. In this little waiting room area, there were about 200 people jammed in there like sardines. All staring at us like something that just walked in from off of the moon. Anyway - we walked through the crowd, to this door in the back of the room - and walked right in...which got some interesting looks from the crowd. We waited about 2 minutes before the woman at the back desk motioned for us to come over and sit down. She took a STACK of documents from Andrew, and inspected each one very carefully. She was asking questions - I got nervous. She then wanted to see our passports, but never even glanced at mine. She inspected Marty's as if it wasn't real. She looked at his immigration paperwork, Visa, and his registration card. There was something about the registration she didn't like. She took it out of his passport and left the room.
(insert sound of freaking out here)
This is when I started to pray. Just about went to my knees!
Marty asked Andrew what the deal was, and she wanted to make sure it was authentic (huh? it has the oh coveted stamp on it!). She returned to the room, apparently with the power-that-be's approval. She then wanted to see the original adoption decree and original birth certificate (although she had perfectly good copies in her stand of papers).
All of this is very typical of getting anything done here - so really, nothing was out of the ordinary.
We asked about obtainng a regular passport rather than a biometric one. In order to do that, we would need to approach the chief of that passport office. The chief only works on Friday and Tuesday (from something like 11 - 3). There was no guarantee he would grant our request, and if he did grant it, we would have to resubmit all of the documents and still wait the 2 weeks to get the passport issued.
In other words, things are NOT like they are at home. At home, if you have an emergency, you can pay to have your passport expidited. Not here. I wonder what happens when someone has to leave the country for an emergency...they probably die waiting for thier passport to be delivered from the official government courier.
We were told that we can start checking to see if the passport came in on the 22nd. That is in a week and 1/2. There is no phone number to call (like the USCIS!), you have to show up...and when you show up, you wait to see if the box of passports was delivered that day. That is what all those people were doing out in the lobby area. Waiting on the mail to arrive (basically).
So we wait, and pray.
Ya know that book "Eat, Sleep and Pray"? I should write a book called "Pray, wait and Pray"
Friday, March 12, 2010
of all the blessings
I feel like I need to dedicate another post to a very special family. This family has come to mean so much more to us than a resource; more than our 'get out of jail' card; and more than a friend we have on the other side of the world.
This family is God inspired. Intellectually, I the divine workings of the Holy Spirit, but many times it's hard for me to see, feel and touch those things in my everyday life. In this case, it didn't take long, especially when you consider our prayers for the past zillion years.
You see, our prayers have been pretty basic. Every night, it went something like this:
That is why when Steve and Tami (and Ashley, Andrew and Melissa) gave Anya this very special gift - I was a bit overwhelmed.
This family is God inspired. Intellectually, I the divine workings of the Holy Spirit, but many times it's hard for me to see, feel and touch those things in my everyday life. In this case, it didn't take long, especially when you consider our prayers for the past zillion years.
You see, our prayers have been pretty basic. Every night, it went something like this:
"Heavenly Father, please place your hand on our adoption process. Help us to get through the paperwork, and present a case that the Judge in Irkutsk will accept and grant. Lord, protect Anya until we can bring her into our family. We pray that all those who touch Anya's life and our adoption process seek Your wisdom, grace and love. We thank you in advance for your perfect timing, and the way you are working out every little detail for our extended stay in Russia to bring Anya home."Not only have Steve and Tami been an incredible support to us, and shown us God's love in ways we've never experienced - they pray for Anya's relationship with Christ. They want her to know Him as much as we do. The love they show her through talking about Jesus to her (in Russian) makes my heart sing!
That is why when Steve and Tami (and Ashley, Andrew and Melissa) gave Anya this very special gift - I was a bit overwhelmed.
Today was a good good day!
Have you ever heard that Black Eyed Peas song? The one that starts out with "I got a feeling, tonight's gonna be a good night - tonight's gonna be a good GOOD night"? Funny, because I don't listen to Black Eyes Peas as part of my regular playlist on my IPod, but I really like this part of the song. For our family today, this was a perfect underscore to the day.
In a nutshell, last night was a rough night. Transition and change is hard. Well - after a heartbreaking evening, it ended very well. Lots of hugs and kisses, lots of bed time snuggling.
This morning started out just as nice...with Anya climbing into bed with us, making sure that we're all covered up with blankets, then going to get her stuffed animals - making sure they're all covered up with blankets - and getting back in bed with us. Ya know - the routine of it all is VERY important!
Anya's first English lesson was this morning too. Anne (the English teacher) got here about 11. The lesson went very well. We decided that it would be best if we weren't here when the lesson went on. Anya would be distracted with us so close by, and probably wouldn't pay attention. No need to worry - we know Anne, and know her family - have met her parents, she is a perfectly capable safe person to leave your children with. No flame comments, please!
Meet Anne - and no, I don't know what kind of bozo face Anya is making here - she is goofy!
Nice smile...better!
Anyway - after the lesson, we took Anne to lunch (Debbie, went to the pizza place across the street for the first time). Anne came back to the apartment with us to give us a little Russian help. There are some things we need to know how to say perfectly (for discipline etc.). Anya then talked all of us into playing Uno (which is a game I think she could play over and over again all. day. long.!)
It was so nice to have Anne here translating those little things Anya says that we don't quite get. Let me say, Anya has a great sense of humor! She was making jokes, and laughing so hard, she couldn't hardly stop.
Then tonight I decided to make Tami's famous lentil soup from scratch. For those who know me well, STOP LAUGHING! I actually did make the soup, and it was very VERY good! I am adding it to my repertoire of things I know I can cook.
Anya is such a joy to be around. She is very eager to help - always wanting to help me in the kitchen. We are feeling overwhelmingly blessed by our little one tonight. As Anya says as she ends her prayers, "spaceeba Christo"!
In a nutshell, last night was a rough night. Transition and change is hard. Well - after a heartbreaking evening, it ended very well. Lots of hugs and kisses, lots of bed time snuggling.
This morning started out just as nice...with Anya climbing into bed with us, making sure that we're all covered up with blankets, then going to get her stuffed animals - making sure they're all covered up with blankets - and getting back in bed with us. Ya know - the routine of it all is VERY important!
Anya's first English lesson was this morning too. Anne (the English teacher) got here about 11. The lesson went very well. We decided that it would be best if we weren't here when the lesson went on. Anya would be distracted with us so close by, and probably wouldn't pay attention. No need to worry - we know Anne, and know her family - have met her parents, she is a perfectly capable safe person to leave your children with. No flame comments, please!
Meet Anne - and no, I don't know what kind of bozo face Anya is making here - she is goofy!
Nice smile...better!
Anyway - after the lesson, we took Anne to lunch (Debbie, went to the pizza place across the street for the first time). Anne came back to the apartment with us to give us a little Russian help. There are some things we need to know how to say perfectly (for discipline etc.). Anya then talked all of us into playing Uno (which is a game I think she could play over and over again all. day. long.!)
It was so nice to have Anne here translating those little things Anya says that we don't quite get. Let me say, Anya has a great sense of humor! She was making jokes, and laughing so hard, she couldn't hardly stop.
Then tonight I decided to make Tami's famous lentil soup from scratch. For those who know me well, STOP LAUGHING! I actually did make the soup, and it was very VERY good! I am adding it to my repertoire of things I know I can cook.
Anya is such a joy to be around. She is very eager to help - always wanting to help me in the kitchen. We are feeling overwhelmingly blessed by our little one tonight. As Anya says as she ends her prayers, "spaceeba Christo"!
funny things from Anya
Anya let us know that she loves her tooth paste. So much, that she wants to eat it.
Anya has named her stuffed cat (from the Matafin girls) Jayme. Where she got that name, I have no idea. I have a friend named Jayme - and I talk about her, who knows!
Last night, Marty made chicken and rice for dinner. Anya thought this was a very tasty meal - after we started eating, she exclaimed (in her BIG Russian voice) - SPACEEBA DADDY, FAKOOSNA! (Thank you Daddy, tasty!)
She has picked up enough English, that she is mixing it in with Russian. At night, we have a bedtime routine, that includes going to bed, praying, Daddy saying goodnight, Mommy saying goodnight and then Anya deciding when Mommy and Daddy should go to bed (picking my battles here people!). Tonight she said "Mommy se chas sleep" (Mommy, sleep now!). But the sleep is more like schleeeeep.
Anya likes to pray before meals, and at bedtime. She has paid very close attention to what we say when we pray, and with a little help - she does a great job. Hope to post a video of that soon! Tonight she prayed for the usual, and included 'Jesus please help Melissa and Ashlea Jackson". Not sure what they are in need of help for, but rest assured Jackson mom and dad - it has been prayed for!
Anya has named her stuffed cat (from the Matafin girls) Jayme. Where she got that name, I have no idea. I have a friend named Jayme - and I talk about her, who knows!
Last night, Marty made chicken and rice for dinner. Anya thought this was a very tasty meal - after we started eating, she exclaimed (in her BIG Russian voice) - SPACEEBA DADDY, FAKOOSNA! (Thank you Daddy, tasty!)
She has picked up enough English, that she is mixing it in with Russian. At night, we have a bedtime routine, that includes going to bed, praying, Daddy saying goodnight, Mommy saying goodnight and then Anya deciding when Mommy and Daddy should go to bed (picking my battles here people!). Tonight she said "Mommy se chas sleep" (Mommy, sleep now!). But the sleep is more like schleeeeep.
Anya likes to pray before meals, and at bedtime. She has paid very close attention to what we say when we pray, and with a little help - she does a great job. Hope to post a video of that soon! Tonight she prayed for the usual, and included 'Jesus please help Melissa and Ashlea Jackson". Not sure what they are in need of help for, but rest assured Jackson mom and dad - it has been prayed for!
Wednesday, March 10, 2010
more questions answered
I'd love to hear about her bedroom!
Lots of photos of her bedroom are out there. It’s all light pink and lime green. Stripes, polka dots and flowers. Her room has been done for about 5 years now!
How often did Anya get out of the orphanage, if ever?
When she was in the Detski Dom (Children’s Home), she rarely left. Generally only for specialized doctor appointments. The children went to camp for a week in the summer, and there was some kind of singing / poetry competition once a year that was held in the city. That was about it.
The orphanage she was most recently at was a little different. She went to a traditional school, so every day – she was in school with other kids in the city. On Wednesday nights, she went to Luda’s home for a Bible Study…all this in addition to doctor appointments and so on. Her time out of the orphanage wasn’t great, but she did know there was more to the world than the walls of the orphanage.
How long will you be able to take off work?
Well, we both are essentially self employed, so we can kinda do whatever we want to! Technically we both are still working while we are here. We both take an hour or so a day to keep in touch with clients, try to get appointments set etc. for when we get back. I have a pretty big project (giant fashion show) on April 22 – so I am working on that while I am here.
How do you/how soon do you - hope to integrate Anya into socializing with American kiddos? Gymnastics? Soccer? Sunday School?
We go to a big church, with lots (and I mean LOTS) of friends with kids her age. So as soon as we’re able to get up and around after we get home, we’ll be at church. Depending on when we get home, we may put her in school yet this semester. She is already signed up for a day camp the end of June (through our church).
Anya has already been playing with our friend’s kids here. We’ve been to their house 2 times over the past week to play.
What was Anya's reaction and what did she say when you told her that everything had gone thru and you were really and truly "Mama and Pappa", and she was finally going to leave the orphanage with the both of you forever?
We didn’t tell her. The director of the orphanage did. When we got to the orphanage to pick her up, she knew she was going with us, and was more than ready to go with us!
She is old enough, that I think she understood what was going on – one of the benefits of adopting an older child! Younger children can’t understand, and can be terribly scared of this big change. Anya has known us her whole life, so going with us (and trusting us) wasn’t an issue. We truly are blessed with her transition!
Lots of photos of her bedroom are out there. It’s all light pink and lime green. Stripes, polka dots and flowers. Her room has been done for about 5 years now!
How often did Anya get out of the orphanage, if ever?
When she was in the Detski Dom (Children’s Home), she rarely left. Generally only for specialized doctor appointments. The children went to camp for a week in the summer, and there was some kind of singing / poetry competition once a year that was held in the city. That was about it.
The orphanage she was most recently at was a little different. She went to a traditional school, so every day – she was in school with other kids in the city. On Wednesday nights, she went to Luda’s home for a Bible Study…all this in addition to doctor appointments and so on. Her time out of the orphanage wasn’t great, but she did know there was more to the world than the walls of the orphanage.
How long will you be able to take off work?
Well, we both are essentially self employed, so we can kinda do whatever we want to! Technically we both are still working while we are here. We both take an hour or so a day to keep in touch with clients, try to get appointments set etc. for when we get back. I have a pretty big project (giant fashion show) on April 22 – so I am working on that while I am here.
How do you/how soon do you - hope to integrate Anya into socializing with American kiddos? Gymnastics? Soccer? Sunday School?
We go to a big church, with lots (and I mean LOTS) of friends with kids her age. So as soon as we’re able to get up and around after we get home, we’ll be at church. Depending on when we get home, we may put her in school yet this semester. She is already signed up for a day camp the end of June (through our church).
Anya has already been playing with our friend’s kids here. We’ve been to their house 2 times over the past week to play.
What was Anya's reaction and what did she say when you told her that everything had gone thru and you were really and truly "Mama and Pappa", and she was finally going to leave the orphanage with the both of you forever?
We didn’t tell her. The director of the orphanage did. When we got to the orphanage to pick her up, she knew she was going with us, and was more than ready to go with us!
She is old enough, that I think she understood what was going on – one of the benefits of adopting an older child! Younger children can’t understand, and can be terribly scared of this big change. Anya has known us her whole life, so going with us (and trusting us) wasn’t an issue. We truly are blessed with her transition!
Her name is Anya Frrrrrriend
Yep - We have an official adoption decree, a birth certificate AND a colorful wall hanging that says so. We think the wall hanging made it official.
*artist note - this is an Anya Friend coloring original.
This morning, we went to the grocery store, the bank, and the birth certificate office, and the passport photo place.
Andrew showed Anya her birth certificate, and Anya sounded out her new name. She is really a very good reader!
Back at the apartment, Anya and Daddy decided to play Uno. In the middle of the game, Anya asked "what is my name"? She was serious...not as in "your name is Ice Cream, silly!", but as in "I can't remember my name". Daddy said "Anya Friend" - the look on her face was priceless, as if she was committing it to memory. That was about the time Daddy decided to write it down for her.
Anya
(from Marty)
Anya coloring quietly while mama takes a nap. I may be a tad biased, but I think we have the most well behaved lil' cutie on this hemisphere. Is she energetic? You bet, but no more so than any other 7 year old. We are so blessed to have her!!!
(from Kathy)
In my defense, I had just completely cleaned the apartment, scrubbed the floors etc., and got a massive headache. Nothing cures a headache like a little shut-eye!
oops
Daddy let Anya have some tea this afternoon - with caffeine (by accident) - for the last time EVER!
Tuesday, March 09, 2010
I know there are Q's
Many of you have asked me questions in comments here, and I've been bad (BAD!) about replying. SORRY! Email is a complete pain in the 'you know what' here...so let's do this. Post your questions here, and in a few days - I will be sure to answer all of them in one big post.
The Little Things are the Big Things
I was thinking today about the past 6ish years. What are the things that stand out to me, what things have moved me into action, what things have moved me to tears, and what things have changed me.
Bottom line on all of this is God.
So many of your kids have been praying for Anya for many years. It might have seemed like a little thing at the time, but to us – it was a big thing.
I remember the times before we would make ANOTHER trip to Russia, those of you who came to our house to pray for us, for the trip, for Anya – might have seemed like a little thing to do, but to us – it was a big thing.
There was a period of time when I was tired. I had no energy to do one more piece of paperwork. It was hard to see so much time and energy go to something without any kind of return (or even the hope of a return). You, my friends, prayed me through it, and it is a big deal.
Adoption is not for the fait hearted. It’s not for the weak, those who give up easily or those who aren’t up for a fight. It will change you. For me, it has changed me for the better. My Panera girlie friends - for this I thank you. For moving my thoughts to another place, to see blessings where there didn’t appear to be any; and that is a big deal.
There are those things that still move me to tears when I think about them. What if we never went down this path? What if we went a different direction at the fork in the road? Well…then I wouldn’t have so many of you as friends – family, really. You’ve talked me off the ledge, given of yourself in ways I will never be able to repay, and just listened – you’ve reminded me to lay my issues and problems down, to find answers in Truth. I have found the meaning of true friends…and that is a big deal.
Bottom line on all of this is God.
So many of your kids have been praying for Anya for many years. It might have seemed like a little thing at the time, but to us – it was a big thing.
I remember the times before we would make ANOTHER trip to Russia, those of you who came to our house to pray for us, for the trip, for Anya – might have seemed like a little thing to do, but to us – it was a big thing.
There was a period of time when I was tired. I had no energy to do one more piece of paperwork. It was hard to see so much time and energy go to something without any kind of return (or even the hope of a return). You, my friends, prayed me through it, and it is a big deal.
Adoption is not for the fait hearted. It’s not for the weak, those who give up easily or those who aren’t up for a fight. It will change you. For me, it has changed me for the better. My Panera girlie friends - for this I thank you. For moving my thoughts to another place, to see blessings where there didn’t appear to be any; and that is a big deal.
There are those things that still move me to tears when I think about them. What if we never went down this path? What if we went a different direction at the fork in the road? Well…then I wouldn’t have so many of you as friends – family, really. You’ve talked me off the ledge, given of yourself in ways I will never be able to repay, and just listened – you’ve reminded me to lay my issues and problems down, to find answers in Truth. I have found the meaning of true friends…and that is a big deal.
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