Coolest Kid on the Block

Seriously, who else do you know that has a collection of letters from the Embassy, Senate, Sect'y of State, Congress, Governor....

what I've learned

Note to self...people that know the rules and deliberately don't follow them annoy me.

So, I think I am going to Russia

I know, I've been talking about it for a long time - but I really think I have all the details worked out to go to Russia in December.

Funny thing - rumor had it that traveling in winter is cheap in Russia. Which made good sense to me. Who wants to go to Siberia in December? Well - that isn't exactly the case. But - I'll work it out.

I am going alone - Marty will be in India at the same time I am going to be in Russia. I've been to Russia by myself before - so I am OK with that. Also, some of my friends might be in the region at the same time I am there - so that is a bonus.

I have nothing going on next week - so this is going to be the week I sit and go through ALL of our documents. I am definitely going to make sure that my Visa is good for a few days longer than my actual trip. You might remember the nightmare we had getting home last year from Russia.

I have thought of a few things I can pass off to someone (who is creative) to help with. We have to submit photographs of all our interaction with Anya - well, we have a lot of photos. It would be great if someone with some digital photo skill could help.

Please pray for all the details to work out...and for our finances to be able to withstand a trip to India - and a trip to Russia on top of the other pressures.

Unbelievable

I wasn't going to blog about this, but I can't help myself.

I was at a meeting this week - and let me start by saying that I've had 4 meetings this week (just in case you were with me at one of those meetings). This person came and sat at the table across from me and started talking about adoption. Of course, my ears perk up. She talked about how adoption is "cool", how she's met so many people who are adopting and they are "neat", how she wants to be a part of this local adoption group, and how she and her husband "wanna" check out the adoption "thing".

Yes, I was annoyed...but it gets better...

Then she says that she started some kind of paperwork, and her social worker called already (before her paperwork is done) to tell her that they have been matched with a child, and should have a baby before Christmas.

Yes - I can hear all of you out there yelling "NO WAY, SHE IS FULL OF IT" (I know....) . Anyone that knows anything about adoption knows you don't get matched with a child until all of your paperwork is done, redone, and done again. This isn't just with international adoption - this is ADOPTION period!


UPDATE (11/12) - obviously I wasn't thinking clearly - but yes, there are situations where families have a child before the paperwork starts. But - this isn't the norm.

It gets better...

So as she was talking loud enough to be sure I could hear her, she starts talking about domestic adoption versus international adoption. Keep in mind, this person knows we're adopting...knows where we're adopting from. She says, "why would you adopt from somewhere else - I don't want to travel to some third world country when there are kids here to get. I mean, I wouldn't want to spend that kind of money, I could take that money and go to Chicago for the weekend". I almost had a heart attack - right there, just about jumped OUT of my skin!

Oh but wait, there's more!

Before I made the mature decision to tune her out (this decision was weighed against either tuning her out, or making a scene), she says "ya, I just think it would be fun to have another baby"

Clearly this person has no concept of adoption, is completely insensitive - and any agency that would allow her to adopt without thoroughly discussing her motives should be out of business! Even if her comments were tongue-in-cheek (which I don't think they were), NOT funny! ESPECIALLY with adoptive parents in ear shot (I was not the only one).

OK, I feel sorta better now.

My night ended on a high note (haha). We decided to feed the kids (by kids, I mean cats) catnip. They've been bouncing off the walls all day. Jazz has the munchies so bad, she started sniffing out my PB&J. Now THAT'S entertainment!

Remember friends in your prayers

Funny how adoption brings people together. Regardless of where you are adopting from, your reasons for making the tortuous decision to adopt...adoption brings women together.

I have lots of friends who I call adopted moms - some are in process, some aren't...

One of my in process pals got some bad news last week. Please keep her and her husband in your prayers. J and D need for us to pray for their hearts, and for God's perfect plan to unfold for their family.

Praying - Part 7 new news and updates

I got word last week, that one of my other Irkutsk friends has had documents accepted by the court! YAY! I am so happy for them! In order to keep my Irk pals straight, I decided I need to come up with nick names for them.

So, henceforth - my friend who has been there forever (just got home for a 'break'), the one who has been to court more times than anyone really should go to a Russian court - let's call her Crafty Boater.

And my other friend who just got the good news, let's call her New Diva.

(see, I think these names are hilarious - and I guess you have to know them
to get the same chuckle as I am getting right now)

WHAT HAPPENS NOW? Well, (again) we start praying. The court in Irkutsk has called for the adoption center to get New Diva's child's documents prepared. I think they have a few weeks to do this and present them to the court...then the court has (I think) another few weeks to give a court date. We're expecting news around Thanksgiving.

In the meantime, Crafty Boater is waiting for her 3rd court date. She is home now with her husband and family, recouping from the exhausting 6 week stint in Siberia.

As for me, I am working on the document updates. You can pray for me on that - some of you know the serious struggles I had last time with this process - and the notion of doing it for the 8th time (yes, I've redone our dossier 8 times...the complete new 200+ document version, I've redone 4 times) is completely overwhelming. Which is odd for me, because I don't easily get overwhelmed. My goal would be to get everything done, presented to the court before I go to Irkutsk in December. I am trying to work out the details of the December trip...praying for profitable business to come so that I can afford to go.

Russia Moves to Liquidate Fifty-Six Religious Groups

We were coming home from Indianapolis today, listening to the radio - and something got our attention...the word RUSSIA. Funny - every time I hear that word, my ears perk up.

Here is news coming out of Russia...

Russia Moves to Liquidate Fifty-Six Religious Groups

On October 15 the Russian Ministry of Justice took steps to begin liquidating 56 non-Russian Orthodox religious organizations. The groups face dissolution, Russian news sources reported, because they failed to file required annual reports on their activities. Those targeted include a range of non-Russian Orthodox organizations and churches but hardest hit were various Christian groups, both Protestant and Catholic. Baptist groups were prominent on the list, but Methodist, Presbyterian, Lutheran, Seventh-day Adventist and Pentecostal groups were also included. Well known humanitarian groups such as World Vision and Youth with a Mission were also named, as was the Russian branch of the Billy Graham Evangelistic Association. Non-Christian organizations were also named, including Muslim and Buddhist associations.

Read the rest of the story HERE

Featured Adoption Stories

I want to encourage all of you to visit http://straightfromtheheart.typepad.com/ - and leave comments for those who have shared very personal details of their lives and adoption process...for the world to read.

There is a story about Cindy - a woman who was adopted as a toddler. So encouraging to hear her thoughts on her birth mother, her feelings knowing she was adopted, her challenges growing up.

Then the Baker family, who have adopted from South Africa. So interesting to read about a family who have followed God's prompting - and go where He sent them!

The Chassion family who adopted from China. So interesting to see the similarities between our experiences, and of course - the major differences! Their adoption story was followed by the local news.

And us - most of you know our story, but I think Julie asked me some questions that I haven't talked about here - might be interesting for you to read through our plight. If not - that's OK! Read the stories of the other families.

Praying - Part 6

Yes, we continue to pray for our friend who are in the middle of the hardest court case in the HISTORY of court cases!

After (I think) 6 weeks, my friend has decided to come home. The court has indicated they will get a final hearing in December - so at that time, My friend, her husband and their son will again travel back to Irkutsk.

I can't imagine being there for 6 weeks. I would go crazy! I love visiting Anya, but honestly, after about 10 days - 2 weeks, I am SO READY to come home. Maybe it is a culture shock thing, or a homesick thing - I'm not sure. It is totally exhausting to be in a place where everything you say needs to be translated - where your every move with your child is watched, and you can't interact or discipline your child as you would at home...you're not eating like you should - or the things your body is used to.

So - pray for my friend. That she has a safe flight home, and that all of the pieces of the puzzle come together for her families return in December.

stories of adoption - a must read!

Hello All,

I would like to share a link to a blog I frequent. The writer is a mom to an adopted child - and is writing stories of adoption...those who were adopted, those who are adopting, those who have adopted.

I found the stories that have been posted thus far to be uplifitng and very interesting. I encourage you to visit the site - and pass along the link to those in your individual adoption communities. http://straightfromtheheart.typepad.com/

To all the PAPs out there

Or anyone who has been a PAP!

I am working on another adoption story for Blissfully Domestic. One thought - I am so glad that magazine is so much more than just recipes, cleaning tips and money saving ideas!

Anyway - the story I am working on is advice. Advice for anyone in the initial stages of adoption, or considering adoption. I am sure there are things we all wish someone would have told us BEFORE we took that first step. What is your advice?

For me, I wish someone would have pushed us to start 2 months earlier. If we would have, Anya would be home.

Thought of the day

Isn't it funny (and kind of great) how God will bring a song, or an email - or something to you - that says exactly what you need to hear at the perfect time?

What NOT to say to a pre-adoptive parent

FOREWARD - a year or so ago, I wrote a post about the things people say to us as PAPs. I took that blog entry, edited it - and submitted it to Blissfully Domestic (a great online magazine). It was published this week.

It is funny the things people say to you when you are part of an adopted-family. Things people would never say to someone who was pregnant - or who had birthed a child.





The good-intentioned comments can be naive, and quite honestly cold-hearted. In the 4 years we’ve been on an adoption journey, we’ve had some crazy things said to us. Most aren’t mean-spirited, many made me take a step back and say “huh“, and others truly left me speechless.




When we started out to adopt a child from Russia, we never imagined we would be sitting here, 4+ years later, waiting for a court date. To answer the questions I know will come:


1. Yes - we know the child. We met her when she was 2 - now she is 6.
2. Yes - we plan on seeing this through to the end.
3. No - we will not stop the battle to bring her home.
4. Yes - we have met her, we travel to Russia every year to see her; and communicate with her via email, letters and phone calls.




I want to share some things people have said to us - not to laugh as much as to educate. The adoption process is a very personal, very emotional pregnancy. For me, I’ve been “pregnant” (or as they say in the adoption community - ‘paperwork pregnant’) for over 4 years.



To read the rest of the story, go HERE.

Plea to help our friends in Irkutsk

Hello friends,

I have a plea. As many of you know, we’ve been on a fight (with several other families) to bring our DD home from Irkutsk for over 4 years. One of the other families who is fighting with us has been able to get a court date in Russia…this is HUGE because the Judge in that region has not granted an American a court date since 2005.

This family went to court a few weeks ago, and after 8hours, they were told the hearing was postponed. They went back to court this week, and after many more hours and many not-so-common in-court occurances – the case was again postponed. I don’t want to go into great detail here, but know the reason the case was postponed is crazy! And has nothing to do with the child, or this family.

So, this family will need to go back to court for a 3rd time. Of course they have incurred incredible expense in this process…and more than anyone ever anticipated on this trip. They had to change return flights home – to the tune of over $2,000!

The stress this family is under is enormous. The outcome of their case will pave the way for so many other American families who are waiting to bring children home from this region.

The husband will return home to work, but will be required to go back for the 3rd court hearing (that will happen in 4-6 weeks). The wife is staying in the region (too expensive to fly home, and then back again).

We are confident that this family will be successful, and they will be able to bring their DS home…but not until they have suffered and endured more than any of us could imagine.

I want to help them, and this is why I am posting this note.

I am begging any of you who have frequent flyer miles or AmEx (or other) points to spare – please help this family. The thousands and thousands of dollars they have spent – and are going to spend – on airline tickets is overwhelming. If we can help them ease this burden in the slightest – I know it will mean EVERYTHING to this family.

Please email me if you are able to help…

Thank you in advance for your big hearts…

BAH

Irritated with email!

OK, I have to vent. My email has been acting up. For the past month (or so), I have been getting no less than 400-500 spams a day (yes, that is HUNDRED!).

Well, the spam stopped...and so did my emails! I have had numerous people call me to ask why I never responded to their email messages...well, I NEVER got them!

UGH!

Since the majority of my business is done online, this really worries me - I wonder what I've missed? If a new client would email me, there is no way I would know about it - and now they think that I blew them off. NOT good for business!

Apparently I can 'white list' my client emails - but they have to be done one-by-one (and I have over 750).

OK, I feel better now...just needed to vent.

Praying - Part 5

Unbelievable.




The Judge in Irkutsk postponed...AGAIN!





Here is what I know...


The Judge asked for the bio mother to show up - this isn't uncommon. The bio mother didn't show up - saying she had an emergency with another child.



The Judge also called for the Russian families who rejected Harry to show up. She called for 8, 2 showed up. Apparently one of the men was NOT HAPPY he was called. The 2 families were grilled about why they didn't choose this child (but, they did choose another child...I don't know if this is even legal! Russian adoptions are 'closed' and pretty hush hush...)



So, the Judge decided that she was going to postpone, because of the 6 families that didn't show up, and the bio mother.

The Judge is forcing the mother to make a statement as to her feelings on an American family adopting the child.



All of this could take 4-6 weeks.



As for our friends...they are spent. That is the only word I can come up with. They were to return to Moscow today for the last portion of this journey. Of course, they will need to change travel plans.



Being in Irkutsk is expensive. Traveling there is expensive. They are trying to make decisions on staying, going home, sending the Mr. home to work - and then come back...too many decisions to make on a weary and tired brain.



Of course, at this point, there is nothing to appeal - since no decision has been made.

I am furious to tears. I can not believe this...




I will be sending out an adoption newsletter to my 'big list' of contacts...begging for prayer in this situation. There is so much to pray about today, with the election coming up, the state of the economy, and other heartache in the world...I want to appeal to you - please pray for this family and this situation! I am praying that they are able to make a decision on what to do next, and that the decision is made with a total peace in their hearts. I am also continuing to pray for this Judge and everyone associated with this legal process. The stronghold that is strangling this process needs to be released!

Court in Irkutsk

Our friends are (probably) in court RIGHT NOW. PLEASE pray for them!

Forgot Camera...AGAIN!

Last weekend, we went to Wisconsin to visit our friends, Kim and Bart - and to meet Debbie and Brian. Who are Debbie and Brian you ask? They are one of the couples we've been on this adoption trek with.

Over the years, I've made a lot of 'virtual' friends. I've never been able to meet any of them, until now! It is SO NICE to meet someone you feel like you know so well! No one can really know what we're going through...no one other than the handful of families who are in our shoes.

Marty and Brian spent the afternoon looking at antique cars...a family collection! Marty was VERY impressed!

Debbie and I spent the afternoon going through her closet, trying on clothes - good old fashion 'girl stuff'.

So - thanks to Debbie and Brian for your hospitality! We had such a good time meeting you - and hope that was the first of many get-togethers!

...and on the way home, I realized that I forgot to take any pictures! UGH!

my friends...

I have amazing friends. It hit me today, as I was coming home from a LONG day. I was exhausted, had a headache, and was NOT looking forward to dealing with 'tax crap' (yes, that is the official term).

I started thinking about my friends that I had seen earlier in the day. Honestly, (if I do say so myself), I keep some pretty amazing company!

Now - remember, these are MY FRIENDS, not random people I've never met...these are tried and true friends - those I exchange Christmas cards with, and when I see them on the street, I give them a hug...real pals.

Here is a rundown of the amazing friends I saw today:

• I have a friend who endures crazy criticism for ridiculous things - just because of her husband's job...and if you met her, she has the MOST AMAZING attitude, and such a heart for God...I want to grow up and be like her (is that possible? I'm older?)

• I have another friend who I met recently - she has such a kind and sweet heart - she is totally honest about who she is, and really really wants to change those things about herself that hold her back - that is what I call REAL COURAGE!

• There is this one friend, who I know I can turn to for ANYTHING. She has seen me close to my worst, and I KNOW - she ALWAYS has my back...and that is a big deal to me. She is what I call a real friend.

• Then there is this pal who is just super cool. She is crazy creative; she is able to see things through a creative filter - I wish I could do that. She is one of those people who has a great attitude - and I don't think I have EVER heard her complain...I need to hang around with her more. She is a great mom - the kind of Mom I hope to be one day.

• This lady always says the right thing to push me...and there aren't many people that can say the things to me she can...but I know she does it with a ton of love, and I know she really wants to see me succeed. Being with her makes me a better person...and always makes me smile.

• This sweet friend has known me for a long time - she knew me in college (and I've made her swear not to tell any of the stories!!) - she is driven, successful at everything she tries, super creative, an amazing Mom, and a good friend. She is one of those people who I can call and complain - and at the end of my rant, she would ask if I feel better.

• Then there is my friend who I say is my twin from a different mother in a different generation. I love this gal - and I think she might be one of the smartest women I've met - I have so much respect for her because of what she has been able to accomplish in her young life. She is a loving Mom, fashionista extraordinaire, and has the biggest caring heart.

• Then there is the friend who I haven't seen in a long time. She is such a strong woman, so smart, I love her heart - I am so glad I got to see her today! She is one of those people who is beautiful inside and out. She is crazy talented - I don't even think she realizes how much talent she has!

• Finally, there is the friend who I became pals with via work-ish stuff. She is always there to let me borrow something, tell me what shoes to wear with what outfit, to challenge me and to share my pain. We laugh that we're good for each other because we get irritated at the same things. She is a great Mom to grown kids, really knows how to enjoy life, be a good friend, and laugh! Sometimes I have to pinch myself when I realize that she is in my life!

...and those are JUST the friends I saw TODAY! I saw so many friends today - this is just a snapshot - I need to count my blessings...I remember a time when I didn't think I had many friends. I prayed for God to bring some REAL friends into my life...now, I feel like I have abundant blessings via my pals!

things could be worse

I was reading my friend's blog tonight - the one who is in Russia right now waiting for a court date (again) in Irkutsk.

She posted this photo of a toilet in a HOSPITAL. Now, at a hospital, wouldn't you think that the conditions would be clean, sterile, free of germs and gunk?

Um, not so much in Irkutsk.

All I have to say is ewwwwww.