of all the blessings

I feel like I need to dedicate another post to a very special family. This family has come to mean so much more to us than a resource; more than our 'get out of jail' card; and more than a friend we have on the other side of the world.

This family is God inspired. Intellectually, I the divine workings of the Holy Spirit, but many times it's hard for me to see, feel and touch those things in my everyday life. In this case, it didn't take long, especially when you consider our prayers for the past zillion years.

You see, our prayers have been pretty basic. Every night, it went something like this:

"Heavenly Father, please place your hand on our adoption process. Help us to get through the paperwork, and present a case that the Judge in Irkutsk will accept and grant. Lord, protect Anya until we can bring her into our family. We pray that all those who touch Anya's life and our adoption process seek Your wisdom, grace and love. We thank you in advance for your perfect timing, and the way you are working out every little detail for our extended stay in Russia to bring Anya home."

Not only have Steve and Tami been an incredible support to us, and shown us God's love in ways we've never experienced - they pray for Anya's relationship with Christ. They want her to know Him as much as we do. The love they show her through talking about Jesus to her (in Russian) makes my heart sing!

That is why when Steve and Tami (and Ashley, Andrew and Melissa) gave Anya this very special gift - I was a bit overwhelmed.

Today was a good good day!

Have you ever heard that Black Eyed Peas song? The one that starts out with "I got a feeling, tonight's gonna be a good night - tonight's gonna be a good GOOD night"? Funny, because I don't listen to Black Eyes Peas as part of my regular playlist on my IPod, but I really like this part of the song. For our family today, this was a perfect underscore to the day.

In a nutshell, last night was a rough night. Transition and change is hard. Well - after a heartbreaking evening, it ended very well. Lots of hugs and kisses, lots of bed time snuggling.

This morning started out just as nice...with Anya climbing into bed with us, making sure that we're all covered up with blankets, then going to get her stuffed animals - making sure they're all covered up with blankets - and getting back in bed with us. Ya know - the routine of it all is VERY important!

Anya's first English lesson was this morning too. Anne (the English teacher) got here about 11. The lesson went very well. We decided that it would be best if we weren't here when the lesson went on. Anya would be distracted with us so close by, and probably wouldn't pay attention. No need to worry - we know Anne, and know her family - have met her parents, she is a perfectly capable safe person to leave your children with. No flame comments, please!

Meet Anne - and no, I don't know what kind of bozo face Anya is making here - she is goofy!

Nice smile...better!

Anyway - after the lesson, we took Anne to lunch (Debbie, went to the pizza place across the street for the first time). Anne came back to the apartment with us to give us a little Russian help. There are some things we need to know how to say perfectly (for discipline etc.). Anya then talked all of us into playing Uno (which is a game I think she could play over and over again all. day. long.!)

It was so nice to have Anne here translating those little things Anya says that we don't quite get. Let me say, Anya has a great sense of humor! She was making jokes, and laughing so hard, she couldn't hardly stop.

Then tonight I decided to make Tami's famous lentil soup from scratch. For those who know me well, STOP LAUGHING! I actually did make the soup, and it was very VERY good! I am adding it to my repertoire of things I know I can cook.

Anya is such a joy to be around. She is very eager to help - always wanting to help me in the kitchen. We are feeling overwhelmingly blessed by our little one tonight. As Anya says as she ends her prayers, "spaceeba Christo"!

funny things from Anya

Anya let us know that she loves her tooth paste. So much, that she wants to eat it.

Anya has named her stuffed cat (from the Matafin girls) Jayme. Where she got that name, I have no idea. I have a friend named Jayme - and I talk about her, who knows!

Last night, Marty made chicken and rice for dinner. Anya thought this was a very tasty meal - after we started eating, she exclaimed (in her BIG Russian voice) - SPACEEBA DADDY, FAKOOSNA! (Thank you Daddy, tasty!)

She has picked up enough English, that she is mixing it in with Russian. At night, we have a bedtime routine, that includes going to bed, praying, Daddy saying goodnight, Mommy saying goodnight and then Anya deciding when Mommy and Daddy should go to bed (picking my battles here people!). Tonight she said "Mommy se chas sleep" (Mommy, sleep now!). But the sleep is more like schleeeeep.

Anya likes to pray before meals, and at bedtime. She has paid very close attention to what we say when we pray, and with a little help - she does a great job. Hope to post a video of that soon! Tonight she prayed for the usual, and included 'Jesus please help Melissa and Ashlea Jackson". Not sure what they are in need of help for, but rest assured Jackson mom and dad - it has been prayed for!

more questions answered

I'd love to hear about her bedroom!
Lots of photos of her bedroom are out there. It’s all light pink and lime green. Stripes, polka dots and flowers. Her room has been done for about 5 years now!




How often did Anya get out of the orphanage, if ever?
When she was in the Detski Dom (Children’s Home), she rarely left. Generally only for specialized doctor appointments. The children went to camp for a week in the summer, and there was some kind of singing / poetry competition once a year that was held in the city. That was about it.

The orphanage she was most recently at was a little different. She went to a traditional school, so every day – she was in school with other kids in the city. On Wednesday nights, she went to Luda’s home for a Bible Study…all this in addition to doctor appointments and so on. Her time out of the orphanage wasn’t great, but she did know there was more to the world than the walls of the orphanage.


How long will you be able to take off work?
Well, we both are essentially self employed, so we can kinda do whatever we want to! Technically we both are still working while we are here. We both take an hour or so a day to keep in touch with clients, try to get appointments set etc. for when we get back. I have a pretty big project (giant fashion show) on April 22 – so I am working on that while I am here.

How do you/how soon do you - hope to integrate Anya into socializing with American kiddos? Gymnastics? Soccer? Sunday School?
We go to a big church, with lots (and I mean LOTS) of friends with kids her age. So as soon as we’re able to get up and around after we get home, we’ll be at church. Depending on when we get home, we may put her in school yet this semester. She is already signed up for a day camp the end of June (through our church).

Anya has already been playing with our friend’s kids here. We’ve been to their house 2 times over the past week to play.


What was Anya's reaction and what did she say when you told her that everything had gone thru and you were really and truly "Mama and Pappa", and she was finally going to leave the orphanage with the both of you forever?
We didn’t tell her. The director of the orphanage did. When we got to the orphanage to pick her up, she knew she was going with us, and was more than ready to go with us!

She is old enough, that I think she understood what was going on – one of the benefits of adopting an older child! Younger children can’t understand, and can be terribly scared of this big change. Anya has known us her whole life, so going with us (and trusting us) wasn’t an issue. We truly are blessed with her transition!

no need for words

Her name is Anya Frrrrrriend

Yep - We have an official adoption decree, a birth certificate AND a colorful wall hanging that says so. We think the wall hanging made it official.

*artist note - this is an Anya Friend coloring original.

This morning, we went to the grocery store, the bank, and the birth certificate office, and the passport photo place.

Andrew showed Anya her birth certificate, and Anya sounded out her new name. She is really a very good reader!

Back at the apartment, Anya and Daddy decided to play Uno. In the middle of the game, Anya asked "what is my name"? She was serious...not as in "your name is Ice Cream, silly!", but as in "I can't remember my name". Daddy said "Anya Friend" - the look on her face was priceless, as if she was committing it to memory. That was about the time Daddy decided to write it down for her.

Anya

(from Marty)
Anya coloring quietly while mama takes a nap. I may be a tad biased, but I think we have the most well behaved lil' cutie on this hemisphere. Is she energetic? You bet, but no more so than any other 7 year old. We are so blessed to have her!!!

(from Kathy)
In my defense, I had just completely cleaned the apartment, scrubbed the floors etc., and got a massive headache. Nothing cures a headache like a little shut-eye!

oops

Daddy let Anya have some tea this afternoon - with caffeine (by accident) - for the last time EVER!

I know there are Q's

Many of you have asked me questions in comments here, and I've been bad (BAD!) about replying. SORRY! Email is a complete pain in the 'you know what' here...so let's do this. Post your questions here, and in a few days - I will be sure to answer all of them in one big post.

The Little Things are the Big Things

I was thinking today about the past 6ish years. What are the things that stand out to me, what things have moved me into action, what things have moved me to tears, and what things have changed me.

Bottom line on all of this is God.

So many of your kids have been praying for Anya for many years. It might have seemed like a little thing at the time, but to us – it was a big thing.

I remember the times before we would make ANOTHER trip to Russia, those of you who came to our house to pray for us, for the trip, for Anya – might have seemed like a little thing to do, but to us – it was a big thing.

There was a period of time when I was tired. I had no energy to do one more piece of paperwork. It was hard to see so much time and energy go to something without any kind of return (or even the hope of a return). You, my friends, prayed me through it, and it is a big deal.

Adoption is not for the fait hearted. It’s not for the weak, those who give up easily or those who aren’t up for a fight. It will change you. For me, it has changed me for the better. My Panera girlie friends - for this I thank you. For moving my thoughts to another place, to see blessings where there didn’t appear to be any; and that is a big deal.

There are those things that still move me to tears when I think about them. What if we never went down this path? What if we went a different direction at the fork in the road? Well…then I wouldn’t have so many of you as friends – family, really. You’ve talked me off the ledge, given of yourself in ways I will never be able to repay, and just listened – you’ve reminded me to lay my issues and problems down, to find answers in Truth. I have found the meaning of true friends…and that is a big deal.

Step 1 - adoption decree, CHECK!

We were able to get the official adoption decree today. Things have changed quite a bit from the way things were a year ago. We do not need to get a citizenship stamp before heading to the birth certificate office. This is great, and will cut a day or more out of the process.

Also, the passport office was only open 2 days a week - now, it is open 6 days a week - YAY!
Tomorrow Anya's new birth certificate. We'll head to the office at about 11am. Sounds like this will be like a trip to the DMV (i.e. you go, get a number and stand in line). The office shuts down from 1-2pm for lunch, so our hope is to be in and out by 1. Then, we'll head to the photography place to get Anya's picture taken for the passport.

Now, if I understood it right, we will then go to the passport office. I've been known to not understand what Andrew has said before (but I maintain that Andrew SAID one thing, but meant the other...his English and tense of words sometimes gets mixed up). In all reality, we will probably have to wait a day for the photos, and go to the passport office on Thursday. But who knows!

I am just praying that these last few steps in the process go smoothly and swiftly. We're all exhausted, ready to come home, and get on with life.

Our day at Baikal - in pictures

The Jackson clan...seriously don't know what we would do without this family.
Anya with her best friend, Melissa
Anya with her other favorite friend, Ashlee (that she calls Ashlea because all girls names here end with an 'a')
Fish - there are fish EVERYWHERE at Baikal
You can se the lake behind us - it is massive - if you don't know anything about Baikal...Google it - it is the a pretty amazing lake
People drive cars on the lake - 'back in the day' they would put railroad tracks across the lake, and a train would go across...just in the winter.
The water (well, ice) is so clear - pretty amazing
Anya might be the only year old that wears Cocah sunglasses...OK, they're mine, I like to share
In this photo, you can kind of see the depth of the ice. It is about a meter thick here



Someone was so excited about going to Baikal, she needed a nap on the way there

silly things Anya says

Out of mouth of babes (or 7 year olds) - "Mama is a big tomato, Daddy is meat, and I am ice cream"

Things about Anya

Last night we learned that Anya talks in her sleep. THe only thing I understood that she was saying was 'that's all'.

when to open up the blog

Today's question is when to open up the blog. For those who have been through the process, what do you think? When is a good time?

I feel like I am always juggling permissions, trying to see who I might be able to delete to make room for one more.

Any thoughts?

Anyone?

OK, who wants to buy my daughter her own IPod Touch for her birthday the end of June. Anyone, anyone? (chirp chirp!)

Ice Cream on Walking Street

Really, eating ice cream when it is about zero outside is a fun thing to do - check it out...

Dog Sled

Here is a quick video of Anya dog sledding at the Jackson's. Astra was a good dog and very patient with his new passenger! This was taken on the Jackson's street - for all of you in subdivisions who get irritated with the lack of snow plow response - check out this video...this is on a road.

Saturday is fun day!

Today we decided to go out for lunch and walk downtown. We went to Fiesta for lunch on Walking Street. Anya got some chicken and french fries. She is now the world's biggest french fry fan!

After lunch, we decided to let her have ice cream. She has been talking about it all day, even saying (I think) that her name is Anya Ice Cream. She made her own grocery list and on it was:

1. ice cream
2. milk
3. juice
4. candy

We got some ice cream at a street vendor after lunch - yes, it is about zero outside, and yes we're eating ice cream on the snow covered street. Welcome to Siberia!


We did a lot of sharing of the ice cream.

more on Friday

Did I mention that she liked Popcorn?


She also really liked Peanut Butter.Finger lickin' good! (and container licking...and plate licking...)
When she gets a little excited, we put the headphones on her and let her play with the IPod for a while. I read somewhere that this is a technique used with autistic children - Anya isn't autistic, but I thought I'd give it a go and see how it worked. LIKE A CHARM!

what to do on a Friday..

Friday was quite a day around here. Anya had her second 'time out', and first melt down - and I mean MELT DOWN! Tears and everything. In hind-sight it was a good thing. The tears showed us that she understood that she did something wrong, and that she was being punished for it.

Before I go into the whole thing - let me get one thing perfectly clear. Anya is a very VERY good girl. We've heard all kinds of stories about kids, and the challenges they have had in the first days. She is polite (as polite as you can be when you've never been taught manners), understands rules, goes to bed without any trouble, takes a bath eagerly. It's all really very good.

What we're experiencing is simple a 7 year old girl who is trying to define her boundaries. She senses that I am in charge, since I seem to be the one always saying 'no'; therefore she is trying to see how far she can push me. I get that intellectually, but in the moment it isn't easy.

We have some pretty firm rules - things like no hitting, pulling hair, spitting. Also insist on things like waiting until everyone is done eating dinner before we get up and start playing, we must brush teeth in the morning, and we must pee pee before we go outside. Ya know - all mean parent stuff.

On Friday, Anya was really trying to find what buttons to push with me; it ended up in her trying to hit me and shake her fist in my face before we were going outside. That is not acceptable in our house. So, her behavior got her a 5 minute time out with firm voices from Mommy and Daddy. Anya didn't like that at all, and burst into tears. Hiding her face and everything. The shame of it all was horrible.

After the melt down, we went for a walk outside. She still wouldn't look at me and didn't want to hold my hand. She was very quiet the rest of the day.

Today (Saturday) she is fine. No boundary pushing. When I see that she is trying, I've been handing it all over to Daddy. That seems to be working out since Daddy is clearly her favorite. I've even used the 'do you want me to get Daddy' trick - and let me say, it works like a charm!

So - here are some photos of our Friday. Don't ask about this first one...let me just say that it needed to be done, and Marty was the only one around who had the skills to complete the task.


We've declared Friday night 'family night' (maybe kinda sotra borrowed it from the Jackson's...we don't have a cool family fun song yet, but we're working on it!). In the spirit of Family night, we watched a movie and ate popcorn. Anya loved the corn! The movie was Winnie Pooh (for about the millionth time).

routines - the end of Friday

At the end of the day on Friday, Anya was still being a little stand offish with me, and that's OK. I expect it. (notice how great my roots look here? Thanks honey!)



Being silly with her Ugly Doll from my brother.

Cheesey!And a little love from Daddy.

the day at the Jackson's

On Thursday, we went to the Jackson's house for the afternoon. It was so nice to see Ans pay with other kids. I know she is bored out of her mind with us...and I hate that. There isn't much to do in the apartment (that I am not lovingly calling the 'cell'...bars on the windows, gray walls...kinda fits).

Anyway, it was a great afternoon.

Steve took the kids on a dog sled ride with their family's dog, Astra.

Anya and Melissa had a lot of fun playing. Melissa is 6. Here, they're having 'girl talk' over some hot chocolate.
When we first got to their house, Anya was shy, so we played Candy Land. This is one of her favorite games. She quickly warmed up to the other kids, and before I knew it - she was even being a little bossy! But the kids all had a good time, and we're very grateful for the invitation!

more on the famous sofa

To recap - here is what we have determined:

1. When you get out of college, that horrible cheap dorm furniture is sold at a garage sale to Russian people (we think), and then it is used to furnish the apartments of adoptive families.

2. We have also determined that this sofa was part of the Mayflower. It is old. It is rare. It is famous.

In an effort to answer your questions, we converted the sofa to a bed...or play area...or more comfortable sofa. First, we pulled out the bottom revealing this strange looking support device.

Then we unfolded the cushions over the top of the support...seems to be an ingenious design. Please note the roomy accommodations of this flat...the extra space between the sofa and the kitchen table (on the right...look for the bright yellow table cloth)
Finally, Marty tried out the new contraption to make sure it was safe for women and children.
After covering it's nastiness with a comforter, and using the baby crib mattress as a back support cushion - we have a new piece of furniture! And, apparently it is safe for children!

nuggets from today

We’ve learned that Anya is very long waisted. Most pants I’ve brought for her look like hip huggers.

Anya is good at entertaining herself, which is good since Mommy and Daddy aren’t the best at entertaining a 7 year old 24 hours a day

Anya got her first time out. I wish I knew what she was saying while she was sitting for 5 minutes…but ya know, maybe I DON’T want to know what she was saying

Not everyone likes to color as much as I do

You must always check your child’s pockets…ALWAYS. You will be amazed what you might find. Maybe chewed gum, maybe a grape, might even find a coin.

Best conversation of the day (in Russian of course)

Mama, can I have an orange
Neit

(5 minutes later)
Mama, can I have an apple?
Neit

(5 minutes later)
Mama, can I have a banana?
Neit, but thanks for asking

(5 minutes later)
Mama, can I have candy?
Um, neit

(5 minutes later)
Mama, can I have some chips?
Neit, how about water
Yes, please!

Day in photos

Anya LOVED our dinner (hee hee!)

Dinner - beef stew

She wasn't sure about the whole hair drying thing, but it was dripping all over the place. After about 2 minutes, she said 'eta fsol!' (that's all!)


On the phone with Auntie Larisa from America
Getting ready to go - in Anya's room at the orphanage.




All right then, let's go! Anya wasn't hesitant AT ALL to go.


Us with the Director - very VERY nice woman. Will post more about the actual 'going' later.


First walk together - at the ice sculptures on Mapata.

Anya decided she was sleepy after the walk.

FIRST DAY

FIRST DAY
The only thing that comes to mind is God Blessed. Seriously. Now that the first day is over, I will admit that I was scared – borderline terrified. Not that I couldn’t do it, not that we couldn’t handle whatever came up…but just that things would be hard and go badly for Anya. And, just the opposite happened.

After we picked up Anya from the Orphanage, we were dropped off back at the apartment. We ate a late lunch (grill cheese sandwiches, pickles and fish crackers), and then went out to the market. We were out of milk and other necessities that we needed before our weekly trek to the big supermarket with the Jacksons.

Anyway, we walked down Karl Marks Street to the Clata grocery store. It is quite a walk, and Anya did such a good job. We stopped on the way at the ice sculptures, and Anya slid down some of the ice slides. She was pretty wide-eyed in the store. She wanted to be sure that I saw everything there was to see in the store!

On the walk home, Anya got tired. I can only imagine all the build up and excitement from the day! We was a little trooper! We got back to the apartment, and Anya played some games (on the IPod of course), had great fun changing the channel on the TV a million times, and blew bubbles in the Kitchen (I know…bad mom for letting her do that!).

By then, it was about dinner time, I made beef stew. It was ochen fakoosna! (very tasty!)

Then bath time – Anya loved bath time. I tell you, her hair is a completely different color after I washed it! Her little feet are so ticklish that it was hard to really scrub her tootsies, but that’s ok. At least I know they’re clean!

She thought it was pretty funny that I insisted on some baby oil for her arms and legs. My mom made her some new jammies, and Anya was very excited to put them on. I dried her hair a little bit with the hair dryer, just so it wasn’t dripping wet. We then sat on the couch (yes, the most uncomfortable sofa on the planet!), and watched Little Mermaid.

Then Larisa called – my Russian friend from home. We let Anya talk on the phone with Larisa…she wasn’t sure what to make of that!

She almost feel asleep watching the movie, so at about 8:45 we decided it was time for her to go to bed. We thought 8:30 was a good bedtime, so we were generally right on track.

Got her into bed kissed her goodnight and that was that! She is out like a light – snoring and everything!

Marty and I have been watching the SyFi Channel series called Eureka. I hate science fiction, but this series is really good. Every night we watch an episode. So, tonight – we got to do that too! That is one thing that I didn’t think we were going to be able to do again for a while. Yay!

We misunderstood what Andrew was telling us about the documents on the way home from the orphanage today. I thought he said that we were going right then to some office to get some official document and deal with the birth certificate thing right away. Well, not so much. Apparently the court has to mail that final document to some office (that is called the ‘marriage office’), and that will take until maybe Friday. Then once they get that piece of mail, then we can deal with the birth certificate. Andrew said that the passport thing can take 3 maybe 4 weeks (someone shoot me NOW!). I am praying about that. That would mean that we have another 5-6 weeks ahead of us…and I can’t really even think about that right now.

(will add photos when bandwidth will allow)

GOING TO GET ANYA

As I anticipated, Andrew wasn’t as punctual as we were told he would be. That’s fine – when we got the call this morning, we hadn’t even begun to get ready for the day, so a little extra time to get ready and eat some breakfast was fine. Currently, it’s 11:15, and still no Andrew.

One thing I have learned is when you stop expecting something to happen, it happens. When you stop trying to control the happenings around you, you allow God to move to work everything out for good. So in taking my own advice, I didn’t expect to get Anya today. I figured something would come up – so last night, I didn’t get anything together, didn’t clean the apartment, didn’t run to the grocery store, and didn’t put away the laundry that is drying on the racks in our room. But I think that is OK. It’s ok that everything is a mess; at home, goodness knows things aren’t perfect! I don’t always have the house picked up and laundry put away. To be honest, the opposite is generally true!

I am trying to get a handle on my feelings this a.m. My stomach feels weird, I can tell my blood pressure is probably through the roof, and I have a zit on my chin.

We ate oatmeal with blueberries for breakfast. Took some beef out of the freezer for dinner (thinking a stew, potato – carrot – celery and beef for the man and child).

I am making all these mental lists of things I need to do – and I remembered I think I forgot to pay some bills online. No worries Tara, nothing will get shut off!

CURRENT TIME: 11:30 – still waiting.

CURRENT TIME: 11:54 – still waiting.

CURRENT TIME: 12:22 – still waiting.

CURRENT TIME: 12:40 – still waiting.

FINALLY 12:45 – we’re outta here!

UPDATE: 3:00 - late lunchtime. First meal together as a family. Grilled Cheese sandwiches, pickles and fish crackers. GOTCHA! 5 years, 7 months and 2 days after we started down this path, we've finally come to the dead end, and are able to jump up on the highway!

here we go

For those of you who aren't on Facebook, I wanted to be sure you know.

We're going to pick up Anya this morning!

Got a cal at about 9:15 that said Andres (Alex's assistant) would be here to go get Anya sometime between 10 and 11...which in Andrew time means 11 - 11:15.

I am trying to get off the computer so that I cam get myself together.

(deep breath) = HERE WE GO! YAHOO!

more on boys

I just wanted to echo something that my friend Brenda said about the boys. They need Jesus. (This isn't to say the girls don't - for the record).

Maybe that is the lesson in all of this. Maybe that is what I am supposed to get from seeing this; maybe that is why I can't seem to quiet the stirring in the pit of my stomach. These boys.

As for me, I am going to start praying for these boys - fully, completely. They need Jesus more than I ever let myself think about.