What does your heart break for?

Something struck me tonight at church. Dr. Bob made a comment about your heart breaking, he said, "When has your heart broken for the hurting?". I thought that was a powerful statement!

He was making a point about passion. Having passion for something - praying passionately for something.

My heart breaks for Anya, for the orphans in Russia, for the children who are stuck in the political tug of war - between a life in an orphanage, and a life with a family who will love them.

My heart breaks when I think about:

• the children who don't understand unconditional love
• they've never prayed, and don't understand what it means to be prayed for
• who don't cry when they are hurt, because they know it will do no good
• orphans who have never known what is it like to have something of their very own
• these children who have lived in orphanages their whole lives - they've never heard silence, they've never been alone, they don't know with it is like to make choices
• they think that all homes are made up of caregivers and many children
• these kids have never seen food cooked - in a kitchen
• Anya and the other children in her group wash their own clothes - she is 6! Every night, she washed out her socks, underwear and clothing. She's done this for years!
• Anya wondering why Mama and Papa aren't coming for her. What does she think when she is told she will go home with us one day?
• What about the other children who are starved for attention? The ones with a physical disability - that will never be adopted...who are becoming merely a shell of a person.

My heart also breaks for the families we are waiting with. Over the years, we've all become pretty close. When something happens to one of us - it feels like it is happening to all of us. In the past few weeks, we've experienced the loss of a child to a Russian family, the possibility of cancer, surgeries, financial loss, job loss, battle of hardening hearts, overwhelming anxiety, questioning our decisions.

We are all Christian women.

Do I think this is a spiritual battle? YES! Do I think that it is going to get worse? ABSOLUTELY!

The last 5% of anything is the hardest. For years I've been saying that I am OK with that...but is this the lat 5%? I still don't know - but I do know as for me and my friends - we're being attacked. I feel like each one of us - some in subtle ways, others are fighting bigger things - are all being attacked.

Is it a coincidence that this is happening at the same time that our friends are in Irkutsk preparing for court?

...I don't believe in coincidence

Now is the time to pray. Now is the time to allow our hearts to break for our precious children. Now is the time to stand up and not allow the enemy to get control! Our children are too important!