I have been refocusing lately. Not as a matter of some kind of grand self-improvement plan, but as a matter of survival.
I have found that I tend to dwell on things I can't control, rather than to bask in the glory of missed blessings and focus on the things I can control.
Why is it that we (as women) focus on the one person who might not like us, at the risk of missing the love and respect that we get from the dozens of people who love us? I have to think men do this too...to some degree.
I have a friend who is one I turn to when I need to be talked off the ledge. I believe God put her in my life for a very specific purpose, and that is to unemotionally tell me like it is. Her little pearls of wisdom bring me back to center...she has said things to me like, "Don’t criticize or condemn anyone – just forgive and move on" and "You can’t control any part of this except your own action and reaction". All good stuff, all things I needed to hear at the exact time she said them to me.
I can't control the fact that we haven't heard from the Judge in 6 weeks. But I can control the amount of time I dwell on the fact I've been sitting here for 6 weeks thinking and grousing about it. Fact is, all of this that I've internalized is making me sick.
So it's time to refocus.
Rather than to dwell on the fact it's been 6 weeks since we've heard anything...I am focusing on the fact we DID hear something! The Judge DID accept our documents, and they ARE active in the Irkutsk court system.
Rather than to focus on those who are sucking the life out of me, I am going to focus on those who give me life. I have some very good friends, some pals I've known forever...those girls love me; they KNOW me (I mean, they REALLY know me...they have secrets and stories...); I also have friends who challenge me to look up rather than around for answers - they know me, they 'get' me.
Rather than to focus on my nasty dirty house, I am going to be glad that I HAVE a house that is messy.
Rather than to focus on what money we don't have for the adoption, I am focusing on the money we DO have.
It's a choice...I might have to cry it out to get over it, but it's OK.
6 comments:
Marty and Kathy,
I know each of us have had the "wait" problem at several points in our lives. Why wait... What could we benifit from it?
There must be a purpose for the waits we experience.
They are most often I think for our character development. But they can be for reasons we just cant think of too.
My heart aches for you both as I can imagine how must you must want to get Anya home and give her the love she deserves, and needs from a mother and father.
The reason for the not hearing anything will come to an end....
I am believing for that end to come before memorial day,
And I ask that you both believe that with me and "confess it daily" with faith and trust and with certainty that it is so.
Lets do it... Love you, and pray His comfort is with you and Anya powerfully!
Kim Gerring
I love what Kim wrote!!! Its always when we look down that trouble starts!! Keep you eyes on focused on Jesus and do NOT look down!!
I think you have to somewhat "give up" in order to stay mentally healthy. It will all happen when you least expect it! It WILL!
These are great words Kathy, and such important lessons. I'm proud of you for taking such tough circumstances and learning all you can from them. Praying...
Wow Kathy! Beautiful post! You are so right! It's often habit for me to focus on what I don't have rather than what I do have. I've gotten much better at being more positive about my situation in life. I continue to pray for you all!
Still hanging in there?
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